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Old 04-02-2002, 09:13 PM
 
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It is hard to watch them when they are so upset.
You sound like you are doing finedealing with the fit when it happens. They usually cant stand to be touched But I agree that I don't feel comfortablejust walking away. I just usually talk to herquietly until she is ready for me to hug her.
I too just try to make sure to have her settled at home when it nears nap time so that we wont have to deal with leaving the park or coming inside, etc..And If i sense a fit coming on I try to distract her with something really cool. I try to give her a choice..."we can't play outside anymore, but do you want to take your bike inside to sit on in there?" that kind of thing,
My dd is 20 months and started big fits around 16 or17 months and they are already hardly ever happening. It will pass.
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Old 04-13-2002, 12:19 PM
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My son is 10 months old.
I have never seen this with any other child...
HE THROWS TEMPER TANTRUMS! He does it when he can't have something, at the health food store, at home, any where.
He wants stuff on the shelf, or if I take away something from him, that he shouldn't have, watch out!

He screams for a couple minutes and kicks his legs and throws his body.

Any advice?
Is this typical of a 10 month old?
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Old 04-13-2002, 12:38 PM
 
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He's not really having a "tantrum" seeing as he's only 10 months old!! It sounds like he's just frustrated because he's trying to learn and explore and isnt able.Try babyproofing as much as possible so that there are lots of things he *can* do.Have you ever read "The Discipline Book" by Dr.William Sears? It has some great stuff in it!
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Old 04-14-2002, 03:16 PM
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I agree with Saige. Sounds like he needs a lot of explore time. Try to offer alternative. If he always wants something at the health food store, make sure you bring along some healthy cookies or something. It's just a phase, he'll get over it soon (and then move on to the next one! and the next one : and then the next one ) hee hee You'll see!
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Old 04-14-2002, 05:46 PM
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Hello,
He explores all the time.
He has so many toys.
I even bought him a plastic toy because I thought he may be bored of his natural toys. It is one of those Baby Mozart cubes. He plays with it a little.
He is so smart, he can stack the rings on the wooden stacker and pound the balls in the pounder toy all by himself.
Any other ideas on how to keep him entertained?
He seems to be past rattles, at least for now.
Seriously he does throw fits if he doesn't have his way.
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Old 04-14-2002, 05:53 PM
 
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Hmmm...what about sensory stuff? Like water and sand play? Sounds like maybe he's at a new stage or something.You could do a sensory bucket,and fill it with dry noodles and stuff.Or let him squish beans or something (hey,you never said it had to be a clean activity!!!!).
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Old 04-14-2002, 06:17 PM
 
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Hi there,

At this age 'throwing fits' is actually very developmentally appropriate as your child does not yet possess the language skills to express his emotions. He is merely telling you with his actions and screams what he cannot express through language. Of course that doesn't mean it's not frustrating for parents! I'm not trying to say that his behavior is 'acceptable' (or 'unacceptable' for that matter) - just providing a developmental perspective to help you understand what is going on with him. It usually helps me quite a bit when I understand my daughter's behavior from a developmental standpoint.

These moments provide a perfect opportunity to model language for your child thereby helping him on the road to being able to express his emotions when he does begin speaking. When my daughter has 'thrown fits' in the past, I try to empathize, identify her feelings, and provide an explanation of the rule she's protesting (and an acceptable alternative if one exists) by saying something like, "I'm sorry you're upset that you can't stand up on the chair, it's not safe. You may sit on the chair." Of course, this doesn't always end the 'fit', but I believe if language modeling is consistently applied, a foundation is laid for future ability to successfully express emotions.

After my explanation, I diligently rely on distraction techniques. I offer to read a book with her, do a puzzle together, maybe look for our family cat, etc. etc.. Each child has a favorite activity, so this part relies on mom's knowledge of her child's interests. If distraction doesn't work, I tell say, "I'm sorry you're upset, I'll be right over here when you'd like to join me."
And then take myself a bit of a distance from her and shift my attention to a book or a chore.

You can do this in stores as well if you don't have a problem with your child behaving like this in public. Personally I don't have a problem with it (other people in the store might ).

I know that it's easy to offer advice and by no means do I think my suggestions are a cure-all - I do hope they will help a bit though.

Mary
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Old 04-14-2002, 06:19 PM
 
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Great post Mary!!!! Well said!
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Old 04-14-2002, 06:45 PM
 
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Snailmama,

If it makes you feel any better, my 11 month old does exactly the same thing. If she can't have something she wants, she starts screaming, arching her back, etc.

I agree with Mary - I usually try distracting her. Asking where our dog is will often do the trick (she's fascinated by the dog at the moment). If that doesn't work - I'll nurse her. That calms her down when nothing else will.

In fact, sometimes, when I can't find another reason for her frustration, I think that what she's telling me is that she wants to nurse.

Just a thought - and a bit of commiseration.
Carolyn
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Old 10-30-2002, 07:22 PM
 
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Oh, I feel much better now, thanks! After reading all the replies about tantrums and how y'all handle them, I don't feel so helples and alone! My 1 1/2 yr old ds recently started these "possessed tantrums" when he was sick a couple weeks ago. I did not know WHAT to think! He just cried, flailing around on the floor, throwing his head back, I couldn't touch him, let alone hold him! No nursing, nothing would appease him! My dh was about to take him to the emergency room, thinking there was something really physically wrong with him! Can you see the doc's reaction now?: Later my dh also confessed he was about to start praying, because he thought he might really be possessed!
How did we handle it? Much the way y'all discribed, we found that just letting him lay on the floor in a safe space and work it out on his own really did the trick. We would be nearby, if he DID want ua, and I would occasionally offer sympathetic words. Sometimes taking him outside did a lot of good. Anyway, I am glad I found this thread and people, I feel much better now about how I handled it!
Here is a question relating to the walking problem..What about when tour tot wants to get down and walk around in a store, and runs all over the place?? ..Throwing a fit when you pick him up or try to put him in a cart?? Any suggestions?
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