Please help me fix everything I did wrong with potty training - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 02-09-2009, 12:56 AM - Thread Starter
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Here's what happened: DD told me she wanted to start using the potty when she turned 3 and when she turned 3, we got rid of all the diapers and went to panties, cold turkey. We had a rough couple of weeks (a lot of tantrums), but she figured out peeing in the potty pretty quickly. However, she still can't poop on the potty and it has been 6 months since we started this whole thing. For awhile, she would just poop in her panties and we'd clean her up. I never gave her a hard time but always encouraged her to try to go on the potty the next time. Then, she started holding it until we put on her night time diaper (she's nowhere near night trained). We've continued to encourage her to go on the potty, but she just doesn't want to. Whenever we catch her in the act, we try to encourage her, but she just screams and refuses, so we don't push it. Now, she tries to hold it for days on end and gets belly aches

I think, no I know we screwed up. We pushed her into panties way too quickly and I really wish we would have taken it slower and really let her lead the way. In every other area of parenting, we have been so attachment oriented, and for some reason we really messed up in this area.

What do we do now? How can I fix what I screwed up? I don't want my little girl to have "potty issues".
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#2 of 4 Old 02-09-2009, 01:20 AM
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You didn't screw up! you didn't go too fast. Some kids just take a long time to figure out the poop thing.

From now on, every day just ask her if she wants to poop on the potty, do encouraging things, heck bribe her if necessary. Some day it'll happen, and that'll be it. When she's ready, she'll be ready!
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#3 of 4 Old 02-09-2009, 10:42 AM
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I really don't think you screwed up either..
It isn't always easy or quick and in fact, my newly turned 3yr old is refusing to try. I'm offering but he's just not ready.

I don't know how you feel about going back to diapers?
If it's causing tummy problems, what if you offered to put her in a diaper atleast one time during the day so she could feel comfortable with pooping in it? Then let her see you dump it into the toilet so she can see that it's where it should go when she's ready to sit on the toilet again.
Maybe it could help her so she isn't holding for days and causing pain and discomfort?
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#4 of 4 Old 02-09-2009, 12:26 PM
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I know with my ds1, sometimes he needs the extra push to try something (as he did with pooping in the potty) and after he sees the first time that it's not as hard as he thought it would be, he's willing to try it again. So for him, while we had a few days of some naked time and practicing the potty stuff, that meant physically putting him on the potty when we noticed he needed to poop (and being very encouraging about it).

Another idea I have is to try to provide a different toilet seat/potty/place to poop. If you're using a potty, try putting a special seat on the toilet and provide a stool to put feet on. We have installed a great child/adult combo seat on our toilets, so it's like the real thing, just smaller. Something like that might encourage her to try it? Or, have naked time and if she needs to poop maybe put a diaper on the floor somewhere or right over the potty so she can try out pooping without a diaper actually on?
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