nov/dec 02 mamas continue....others welcome to join in the fun - Page 11 - Mothering Forums
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#301 of 591 Old 02-27-2004, 02:20 AM
 
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So I'm making the commitment to get back here and catch up on everyone else's babes! Um, I mean TODDLERS. I've missed you guys, and finally decided I need to see that other parents are dealing with what I'm dealing with. That will, hopefully, make it easier. So do other tods do things they aren't supposed to do, just because they can? Do they giggle repeatedly when they get told no?

Hmm, dd doesn't play with other kids. At most she just watches, but often she wanders off to do her own thing. I can't blame her, she gets it from me.

Pregnant-- good luck to all those that are, I am happy for you! I am not, to my knowledge, among you. Some days I'd like to be, but sadly, other days I'd like to be single and staying out late every night.

But of course I love my child. I sooooo need to get some Motherwort, can you tell?
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#302 of 591 Old 02-27-2004, 02:27 AM
 
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Yes, my youngest just laughs when I say no. It doesn't matter what tone of voice I use; she thinks it is funny. Everything is a game. I tell her to come here and she runs away, etc...
Sometimes I can't help but laugh, but other times it is frustrating.

And yes, i too will admit to yearning for the single, childless days again at times.

Mama to DD#1 2001 reading.gif, DD#2 2002 2whistle.gif, dog2.gif, & cat.gif. Me & my man partners.gifbelly.gif June 2014.
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#303 of 591 Old 02-27-2004, 02:29 AM
 
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Okay, I realized that last post was just too negative. Here's something cute that dd does: Our dog doesn't bark, she howls. So when you ask dd what the doggy says, she throws back her head and goes "awooo." THEN she saw a cow "moo." So at first she thought cows were just giant dogs. We managed to move past that, but now ALL animals "awoo/moo." Dogs, cows, cats, fish, you name it. I guess she won't be a vet when she grows up!

She pinches my breasts when she's hungry. Cu-UTE. Incidentlly, according to dd, momma's have breasts and dads have nipples. Sometimes I wonder if I'm being a very good "first teacher..."

Her favorite animal is the cat (like me) and so she's always got a stuffed cat under one arm and baby doll under the other. She doesn't seem like it at first, but she really is a nurturer at heart (like me).
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#304 of 591 Old 02-27-2004, 02:40 AM
 
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Welcome back Casina. How did the trip go? Did you take Ruby with you? I'm asking because we'll be taking a trans-atlantic trip this summer and I'm wondering if you have any tips for making it easier while traveling with a babe.

KAH how are things going in your household? Is everyone better?

XmasEve glad to have you around again. Ds also calls lots of animals "ow" as in meow :LOL We taught him that cats say meow and he shortened it and in a very expansive gesture included alot of other animals under the same name

As for our news, molars. Or rather one molar. Ds only has 2 top and 2 bottom teeth so this was totally unexpected. He was lying in a position today that allowed me to see inside his mouth and there it was fully emerged. My poor little babe, I didn't even realize it was coming thru 'cause I figured the molars came last and he had all these other teeth to grow.

How's everyone?
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#305 of 591 Old 02-27-2004, 02:41 AM
 
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Aaack, and now she's tearing up the kitchen lineoleum with a fork!!! It's ruined, dh is going to be so mad!!
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#306 of 591 Old 02-27-2004, 03:21 AM
 
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argh. i just lost a big lecturing post on kids getting along and not. i guess you didn't need it anyway!

traveling with baby. maybe get the bulkhead (my mom unknowingly lied about getting it) so you can lay a sleeping kid on the floor at least. or buy a bigger seat (many of the big planes have a medium size class above economy). stay the night at a hotel when you get to the country instead of killing yourself to get to the destination. i'm big on the sling. i did not bring a carseat, which may help depending on your kid and you are dealing with just one, right? so you will be okay with sleeping and bouncing kid on you. i was not since i had to tend to two others. it would have helped me to buy the extra ticket but my mom was against it. she didn't even want me to bring the stroller, which would have prevented some problems on the way there.

so basically don't bring my mom and sister, who will complain about the kids and sit by themselves and almost lose me and kids at airports. be relaxed and happy, and feel okay about your toddler ambling around with your supervision. bizarrely, the smoking areas at airports were the best respite for my kids. outside!
i packed every medicine and herbal remedy and homeopathic and it got to be too much for me to fuss with, even with the illnesses i dealt with. generally i overpacked, to the point that i couldn't find anything when i needed it. the things i definitely needed were my sanity and energy.

my trip was lovely and terrible. it definitely enriched my children's lives. i found out i have never been used to dealing with my mom and never will be. and my dh is coming next time no matter what.
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#307 of 591 Old 02-27-2004, 11:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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casina I was just thinking about you. somehow i missed that you had gone on a long trip....

toddler doing things she's not supposed to? YEP! that sums up my last week in one sentence.


but this morning she walked herself from the house to the car and climbed in the car seat by herself. I am thrilled. It is soooo nice to have fun with the little positive things she's doing on her own!

she's not talking too much. or maybe we aren't paying attention enough.

:LOL

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#308 of 591 Old 02-27-2004, 10:20 PM
 
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elwynn and haeven play really nicely in the bath together! there is no hitting or anything at bath time. its cute to watch them in the bath together.

 

 

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#309 of 591 Old 02-28-2004, 12:05 AM
 
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All the nasty sick germs are starting to die in our house, THANK GOD!!! I was about ready to scream and cry, dealing with two crying, crabby babies, and Crystal, and DH (he's my 4th kid). After we brought Zach home from the hospital, Julianna and Crystal had a stomach flu so we had to keep them all separated, washing our hands between touching each kid. Then Crystal ended up catching the RSV/pneumonia, so she has missed this entire week of school. It has been hell, to say the least. Today is Julianna's *first* birthday, and we had rented a ramada at a nearby park but rain might be moving the whole party HERE! To top it all off, we are now down to one car in the household! I am so ready to go back down to the coast to my mom's condo in Mexico...

kerc, was it Erin who had RSV? She is so lucky to have kicked it so quickly, poor baby! It's nasty, dangerous stuff...

X-Mas Eve, it sounds like you are having a time with your DD... The same things are happening in our household, so I feel for you...

To all the experienced mamas: What do you do when your kid won't listen to "No"? Do you keep saying it over and over, do you yell, do you pick them up and remove them form the situation, do you physically stop their behavior and grab their hands? I have no idea what to do, and my patience is running short. Ever since Zach got sick he has been throwing MAJOR temper tantrums! He lies on the floor and S~C~R~E~A~M~S. He insists on repeating whatever it is he's doing wrong, like banging blocks on the coffee table, splashing in the bath tub, hitting the dog, whatever. He does something, I say "No", he looks at me, does it again, I say "NO!", he does it again, I say "I said no", he does it again, etc. I feel like I'm always telling him "no". Being so negative puts me in a bad mood, and it's a viscous cycle. Anyway, sorry to be such a downer, but it has been sooooooo crazy here lately I needed to vent!

Hope everyone else is doing well!

Anyone else having fun with the Righteous Baby stocking??? :LOL

Leah coolshine.gif adoptionheart-1.gif homebirth.jpg

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#310 of 591 Old 02-28-2004, 12:06 AM
 
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mamafern--that is great to hear the kids are getting along somewhat. Not many kids get the chance to have another little person running around with them. Even though it was definetly challenging at times I think it was a good experience for my girls to live with their cousin for awhile.

Mama to DD#1 2001 reading.gif, DD#2 2002 2whistle.gif, dog2.gif, & cat.gif. Me & my man partners.gifbelly.gif June 2014.
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#311 of 591 Old 02-28-2004, 12:09 AM
 
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kidsatheart--if someone has a good idea for the no situation I would love to hear it. My dd just laughs when I say no. It doesn't matter if I say it nicely or raise my voice. If i remove her from a situation she throws a fit, but will rarely go back to what she was doing. Distraction sometimes works, and sometimes I think she just needs to have a fit to get the frustration out.

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#312 of 591 Old 02-28-2004, 01:16 AM
 
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islandmama, i noticed you posting about sleep. what's going on over there? sleep is one of my biggest issues.

as for gentle toddler nos, generally showing and guiding them to what they are allowed or should do works better if it is just a behavioural thing. like how to rub my head instead of whacking me in the face. how hum and sing instead of screaming. which takes wits and patience which we all have some of the time, and sometimes don't have. when i don't have the patience i end up yelling no and leaving the situation and at least it has been communicated that they have crossed the line with me. and if i'm just getting frustrated then i have to take a time out. if it is a safety issue i have to remove the child from the problem. it depends on the age of the kid. for baby ruby the no is just a spectacular song and dance for her to watch: validation that she can press my buttons. distraction works to a certain extent which is what my dh is really good at, though i pointed out ungratefully one time that dealing with the issue or ignoring it was probably better than making their brains crazy by changing the subject.
does any of that make sense?


kidsatheart: it sounds like you are doing better than it could be. you have the energy to complain and you aren't sick. it will get better! though for us the kids take a two weeks after illness to get back to the behaviour i had before. so maybe for zach it is just temporary. how old is he? a book that really helped me is called easy to love difficult to discipline. another is the five love languages.
it sounds like he is testing your relationship with him. if it were one of my boys doing what you describe, it usually means he wants validation and nonjudgmental love. which also means messes can be cleaned and people are more important than money, which i truly believe in but find hard to remember when i'm stressed.
it helps if i can take ten minutes a day to concentrate on just what he is doing, or have him sit in my lap if he can tolerate it. and give myself ten minutes a day as well.

sometimes i have to officially declare yes days to my dh because i realize i've spent all my energy on saying no. i just say yes and do what they want if it is reasonable, or say yes, i wish i could help you but i have no gravitational power over the moon. and look the other way when they do annoying stuff. not noticing or being absent is sometimes the same as it not happenning for them....like pouring milk on the floor..... just don't act like you care and clean it up when they are done or possibly out of the room (depending on your toddlers). they want validation for the bad behaviours as well so don't give it to them. sometimes they just want to hear the yes and forget what they asked for. and it puts me in a much better frame of mind and cooperation is more likely if the relationships aren't stressed. i don't know your situation but this ends up working for me even though it seems simplistic and ridiculous at first. take care of yourself!
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#313 of 591 Old 02-28-2004, 10:46 PM
 
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Thank you, casina. That helps.

Leah coolshine.gif adoptionheart-1.gif homebirth.jpg

Hubby guitar.gif, ds (11) REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, adopted dd (10) notes2.gif, dd (6) dust.gif, dd (1) femalesling.GIF & 3 foster dd's wheelchair.gif upsidedown.gif diaper.gif  

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#314 of 591 Old 02-29-2004, 12:27 AM
 
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casina, sleep is what should happen at night, I believe. At least that's what I remember from my pre-dd days. Oh, how I remember those days.

DD wakes anywhere from 5-10 times/night. Sometimes she nurses back to sleep fairly quickly. Often she nurses 1/2 hour then pulls off and starts crying. Or she wakes up and is just awake.

I'm coping, but I like to complain.
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#315 of 591 Old 02-29-2004, 02:30 AM
 
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uh-oh, that's so familiar to me that i'm not sure what to respond. i'll have to think a little about it and get back. how does she fall asleep after awakening? little ruby is not quite this feisty but i get up nursing two these days (and i'm also better at passing out). my ds reed, who is now five, still requires little sleep (ten hours?), basically hasn't napped since turning two, was very much like what you describe......

until then, take care and relax and sleep! are you having dreams?
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#316 of 591 Old 02-29-2004, 02:36 AM
 
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and pat yourself on the back for nightnursing her to walking. that's when most weanings happen....
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#317 of 591 Old 02-29-2004, 02:47 AM
 
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I am new to MDC and this thread. I am so happy that I finally found a group of people that share my wonderful toddler moments. I am a stay at home mom of 2 boys.

Giovanni was born 12/01/02. I BF for 5 months and stopped only becasue I found out I was expecting again and was really feeling sick and weak.

Giovanni is a happy toddler most of the time. He always has a smile and laughs alot. Thats because hubby and I are always craking jokes ourselfs. He started walking in Nov 2003 and is now climbing up the stairs (has a hard time coming down). He eats mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, pizza, loves cheese, yogurt, egg yolks mixed with milk and butter, bread, lots of soup and bananas as well as all sorts baby jar food. He doesnt talk much but understands everything we say. He sleeps well at night. Wakes up maybe once. He is still in our room with us. So I just put him in our bed until he falls asleep.

Gavin born 11/11/03 (six weeks early) smiles at Giovanni. Giovanni in turn kisses him every chance he gets.
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#318 of 591 Old 02-29-2004, 12:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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welcome 24hr mom!!

kah: re: rsv. yes, erin had it. but it only lasted about 5-6 days. the doc told us it peaks at 4 days. She's still got a residual cough that I notice maybe once or twice a day. We did the "cough only" meds for a couple of days and some baby advil or tylenol (sorry Ican't recall which). We also did warm baths and had a sippy cup of water laying around when she really had a coughing spell.

re: "no" one thing that has helped me immensely is to find ways to say yes -- e.g. my dd likes to dump the doggie water dish over. and to throw things into the water and splash in it. so one day last week we took a shallow dishwashing basin and put about 1/2 inch of water in it on a towel on the kitchen floor and she explored the water for about 2 hours. It obviously doesn't work for everything, but it helps to have something that she is really "in" to so that she doesn't get into everything I don't want her to.

Erin has finally begun walking outside! She can now climb into and out of her sled when we go xc skiing here's some pics

and while I'm at it:
here's some more where you can actually see our faces LOL!

edited bc there are no real photos of me there. here are some

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#319 of 591 Old 02-29-2004, 12:20 PM
 
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Thanks for sharing Kristin! Youre DH is funny! :LOL Erin is a lucky little girl. Her sled looks awesome, with the little skis on the bottom. What a work-out, huh?!? I bet she loves it. I loved looking at the snow... It looks sooooo different than here in Arizona-- 65 and partly cloudy. CRAZY!!! I grew up in Washington state, and sometimes I really miss the snowy winters... Not the icy roads, but definitely the snowy winters.

Leah coolshine.gif adoptionheart-1.gif homebirth.jpg

Hubby guitar.gif, ds (11) REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, adopted dd (10) notes2.gif, dd (6) dust.gif, dd (1) femalesling.GIF & 3 foster dd's wheelchair.gif upsidedown.gif diaper.gif  

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#320 of 591 Old 02-29-2004, 04:35 PM
 
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KidsAtHeart: Regarding No. Well I dont think I;m that experienced yet but what I find myself doing with Giovanni is to not say No Fifty times a day. I only say it when I really think he is doing something wrong/dangerous. Also, I've cut down on calling his name. If someone called my name all day long I would tone them out and go about my business. I think Giovanni listens to me more when I call his name less.

Question: How many people are using toddler beds? I was thinking about getting one;however, the twin bed looks so much more bigger for him to stretch and get comfy.
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#321 of 591 Old 02-29-2004, 04:41 PM
 
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I am using a toddler bed with my oldest. She is 2.5 and has been in it since she was 2. She really likes it. It is cozy, but not too small. And it is big enough for her army of stuffed animals!
I am going to wait until my youngest (whom this thread is really for) is around 2 before giving her a bed. I don't think she is ready yet.

Mama to DD#1 2001 reading.gif, DD#2 2002 2whistle.gif, dog2.gif, & cat.gif. Me & my man partners.gifbelly.gif June 2014.
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#322 of 591 Old 02-29-2004, 04:51 PM
 
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elwynn has been sleeping in his own bed for a few weeks. its actually just an ikea cradle with the rockers and one side taken off and its pushed up against our bed so that i can still nurse him if he wakes up. im thinking of getting a toddler bed and doing this because the cradle is getting cramped. i think they let you know when they are ready!

 

 

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#323 of 591 Old 02-29-2004, 05:45 PM
 
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I take it that a toddler bed is most prefered. Does anyone have experience with a twin bed? Is it to big?
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#324 of 591 Old 02-29-2004, 07:30 PM
 
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Welcome 24hr.mom! WOW, is all I have to say. If I had my hands as full as you do, I'm sure I would have forgotten my own name!

solsticeM, dd is getting molars like that too! She has just had the Big Six (4 on top, 2 on bottom) for 4 months, and we were confused until I worked up the nerve to put my finger in her mouth (usually OUCH) and whatever hadn't broken thru yet was almost there. So without canine teeth, is she an anti-vampire or something?

Casina, your trip sounds adventurous. I'm one that always overpacks and overstresses and doesn't enjoy it until I get the pictures developed weeks later and realize we DID have fun.

Dd thinks "No" is a game. Sometimes she wants to play and sometimes she doesn't. If she wants to play, she'll actively seek out something forbidden and giggle her head off at my every attempt to thwart her. In those instances, I feel bad when I'm not enjoying the "game" and also bad when I feel like I AM enjoying it and just encouraging this behavior. Other times she's not playing and doesn't want to be removed from the situation, and then she throws a full-on tantrum. That would drive me crazy until my mom said I was JUST like that. Now I try to look at it from her point of view, since I know I was once her. It helps me to think of more creative ideas to make us both happy. I'm not sure if this is meant as advice for anyone, it's just my thought pattern on the subject. Oh, and we also have our fair share of "yes" days here, Casina! I didn't know if anyone else did those. They're like vacations... a few days to unload everything, then a struggle to get back on track, but still well worth it.

About calling her name a lot: Dd has never much answered to her name, good or bad. I've always wondered if we gave her the wrong name. I never changed it, because what if I gave her another wrong name (after admitting to doing it the first time, I could be capable of doing it again!). Now it's too late, and I figure I'll just wait for the inevitable day when she comes to me and hates her name and I'll support her if she really wants to change it. Any thoughts on that?

Kerc, cute pics! I love seeing pics of the families on this thread. It must be great to get out XC skiing. I'm struggling to find ways to keep in shape with a toddler in tow. What do other mommas do?

Oh, and dd is still in bed with us! But our queen size is getting awfully small for the 3 of us...
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#325 of 591 Old 03-01-2004, 12:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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xc skiing has been my saving grace this winter. not a weightloss mechanism though as I am still +15lbs (is there a shrug face?). We also so snowshoeing and hiking with a backpack. Since erin has decided it is ok to walk outside (umm the last 2 weeks) I've been putting her snowsuit on and putting her in the snow. Then doing other stuff i need to do outside (shovel snow, move the trash, brush the dog, etc).

toddler bed....erin is in a crib. we set up a twin in her room she won't sleep on her own on the twin. but she sleeps great with daddy there. The twin is almost on the floor (it is a futon frame laying flat). She's napped there a handful of times, but we are moving toward trying to get her to sleep there. It would be soooo much easier than having both the crib and the bed set up. We do have a big body pillow on one side and we have our sleeping bag in a drawstring sack that we keep at the end of the bed -- when dad goes in there he's usually wearing boxers and a t shirt and is freezing vs. baby's cotton pjs under a fleece sleeper. So he likes to cuddle up in the sleeping bag.

re: names: does she smile or anything when you say her name? My dd doesn't always come when we call her "erin" but when we call "champ" she knows we mean her and comes more often. I figure I hated my name for about 10 years because everyone else is named kristen but when I was picking names for dd I realized, "hey this is a groovy name" I also hated it because i wanted a nickname and my dad's name was chris so they never called me kris. stupid. anyhow what i'm trying to say is don't stress over whether your 15 mo likes the name you picked. even if she does now, chances are good in 5-10 years she might not!

i heard someone the other day say that they taught their kiddo that "danger" meant stop what you are doing right now and was a serious way to say no. You could say "danger." in a stern voice and then add "that's hot" or "hold mommy's hand when you cross the street" or whatever. But that we say "no" to mean many other things. Just an idea -- i haven't test-driven it at all.

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#326 of 591 Old 03-01-2004, 01:25 PM
 
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we have a word my mom used, which means danger/be careful/watch out in japanese. the word is "abunai!" i have only ever heard it in a stern voice.
i guess my mom gave me some tools after all.

the other day reed got mad because i had a thought and then didn't tell him (because i decided not to do it) and he get really irritated and begged me to tell him what i was thinking. i declared that i owned me thoughts and yes, he could find out what i was thinking when he learned to read my mind. saying yes takes some cleverness and practice but it's one of my goals. yes, you can do that when you are fifteen. yes, we can jump with out feet on the ground. yes, you can have any food you might imagine we have in the van, because i don't see any real food......
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#327 of 591 Old 03-01-2004, 01:41 PM
 
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here's my two cents on sleeping. first the bandaids and basics. no led clocks or they must be covered. no watches in the bed. swaddling helps some kids, sometimes just the arms. but then that means you have to move them too. knowing how your child looks in states of sleep is crucial: rem versus deep sleep. no nightlights and we've had to curtail adults reading in the bed at different times because this affects them.

i've also found that my kids wake when they pee. ruby doesn't tolerate a wet diaper to a certain extent so i change her diaper in deep sleep. hopefully this is when i actually go to bed after she's been down a bit.
putting a pillow between you and the baby may help you if they are sensitive to smelling your milk and breasts.

gotta go
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#328 of 591 Old 03-01-2004, 02:02 PM
 
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hello and good morning. its a bright sunny day here and its my birthday. ak i feel like im getting old and im only 23! ive ben making bum sweaters for elwynn and they are amazing and great! if you dont know what they are look them up in the sewing and crafts area!

fern

 

 

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Once in while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right....

 

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#329 of 591 Old 03-01-2004, 02:49 PM
 
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happy birthday mamafern!!!!
23 is indeed young, but if you're tired and a bit run down, it can seem old. i hope you get some r and r on your birthday!
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#330 of 591 Old 03-01-2004, 03:33 PM
 
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Happy b-day MamaFern!

Zachary is close to walking... He stands for a long time in one spot, and now he'll take some steps between a chair and the coffee table. Cutey pie!

Leah coolshine.gif adoptionheart-1.gif homebirth.jpg

Hubby guitar.gif, ds (11) REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif, adopted dd (10) notes2.gif, dd (6) dust.gif, dd (1) femalesling.GIF & 3 foster dd's wheelchair.gif upsidedown.gif diaper.gif  

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