Yeah we had DS in daycare 2 days a week last fall while I taught, but he got sick constantly and it was affecting his health/growth so we had to take him out. We can't afford any daycare if I'm not working, and I can't teach and write at the same time and take care of him. It's really a no-win. He doesn't sleep alone so I don't even have that option.
2 years is not slow, that's lightening fast compared to many people I know!! I've been ABD for 3 years now.
|2 years is not slow, that's lightening fast compared to many people I know!! I've been ABD for 3 years now.
:LOL He's been ABD for, um, five years. Writing seriously for 2.
High needs kids are tough (see my above posts on sleeping...and managing). We are in a situation where if I don't do research I don't get paid. And Erik is working his butt off and is so close to finishing...it is dumb for him to quit. We have a day care where (unless it is a snow day) there are 4 kids there max. Erin loves it. i know all the other parents and they are all really nice people who take great care of their kids.
can your dh take your son in the evenings so you can write? Thinking maybe sling to sleep, or car rides, or....something? Or on the weekends?
Oh good, I was beginning to think you were married to some kind of wunderkind!!
Yes, well we're getting to the point where I think we can do some of these things. DH is wonderful with DS, and has taken shifts since DS was a newborn so I could sleep. He is pretty good at getting DS to sleep and takes him most of the weekend too so I can get a break. Now we switch off at night so we each get a full night's sleep every other night. That is working pretty well. It's just that I'm so worn out from dealing with him all day long that I have nothing left by evening to work. I've been struggling with PPD all year, mostly as a result of our birth experience/NICU & surgery trauma, but also the HN has been a little more than I can take. Who am I kidding?? A LOT more!! Being a mom is 100x harder than I ever imagined, even in my worst-case-scenario. DS is starting to sleep a little better at night and I'm in therapy and on meds and right now he is actually taking a nap by himself in his room for the 3rd time ever, so hopefully things can get back to "normal" soon! My advisor is getting worried
|Originally posted by kerc
. AND she grew 4 inches and gained 10lbs in the 4 months since we've done it. I think she was too tired to gain weight. And tiredness is probably part of the reason I wasn't making enough milk.
Tiredness alone would not be a contributing factor in milk supply issues. If that were the case a good majority of bfed babes wouldn't be thriving. The mom's physiology has alot to do with it. As one midwife said some mamas make milk that's like cream and others make milk that's like soda and there's nothing you can really do about it. As for being too tired to gain weight, well my ds has been a restive sleeper from birth waking 7-10 times a night. He's in the 93rd percentile for weight and has been exclusively bfed up till several weeks ago. Granted he takes 2 naps a day tho there's several nursing sessions interspersed thruout the nap. I think temperament has so much more to do with each babe than we realize. Some sleep thru the night from very early on, others not till they're much older, some are small, some big, some walk/talk early, others later, some prefer to sleep by themselves others cuddled up next to mama. We're seeing these very differences here in our little thread. What it comes down to is that each babe is unique and what applies to one babe doesn't necessarily apply to all babes.
Just my .02
I totally agree. I think sometimes we mothers (maybe especially first time mamas?) get caught up in the "what is YOUR dc doing" thing that we start to question our intuition and our decisions bc someone else's child is doing xyz, and ours is doing abc. well, frankly, xyz maybe easier, so it starts to sound appealling. but not every baby is meant to do xyz. ya know?
anyway, gotta go, as my dd is doing abc. :LOL :LOL
Oceano's mom: (katmainomad, sp?) about getting two to sleep...
Right now, Julianna takes most of her sleepy-time bottles in bed. We have her mattress on an incline, with a pillow underneath it. She can hold the bottle by herself, but most of the time we lay her on her side with the bottle wrapped in a blanket. Back when they were both itty bitty, we almost died of sleep deprivation and frustration because both babies would inevitably cry at the same time! It was horrible when DH wasnt home to help me. I obviously couldn't nurse Zach and hold Julianna and her bottle at the same time. So, as soon as she was old enough we came up with the bottle propping solution. It's knocked by everyone, and I wish I could give you some really great ideas, but that's all I have! The swing was a huge lifesaver when they were smaller, but... They're on a pretty good schedule now, so that helps, too. It just takes patience from both you and the babies. I just learned to realize that I couldn't always be in two places at once, so one of the babies had to wait while I finished up with the other. It took a lot out of me to listen to one baby fuss, but they got used to waiting for me! Now that they're older it's a lot easier! It must be hard for Oceano to share his attention with another baby, whereas my little ones are used to it.
BTW, how is Oceano pronounced? Is it O-say-on-o, or O-shen-o, or O-see-on-o? I vote for the first one, the Spanish pronunciation, but I had to check!
We are in temper tantrum central right now!!! It is so irritating! Sometimes I feel like all I do is yell at Zach and tell him "no!" Positive reinforcement and time-out don't seem to be working... He doesn't care what I do, he just wants to do what he wants, when he wants. His favorite things to do now are dig in the dirt of my potted plants and make a mess, turn on and off the Playstation/DVD/video, etc., etc., and chase the dogs and pull their hair. He also likes to push Julianna down, and bonk her in the head with whatever toy is closest... I don't think he knows he's hurting her, he just thinks it's fun. What a punk!
I think I'm finally going to make Zach sleep in his own bed all night. DH is out of town skiing, so as soon as he gets back I'll be getting up (meaning OUT OF BED- gasp!) to get Zach back to sleep, then instead of bringing him to our bed, I'll just make him sleep in his crib. Right now I'm getting up with both of them at night, so I don't even want to attempt it. Julianna, for some crazy reason, still wakes up every 3 hours for an entire 8 oz. bottle, which is getting old! Zach only wakes to nurse twice or 3 times a night, so I'm hoping it won't be too hard to get him sleeping through the night. Wish me luck!
I forgot to wish Oceano a Happy Birth Day!
Jackson took some steps!!! I mean REAL steps! I'm so excited! I think he'll be really walking in no time. Funny how he's the fifth kid and I still get so excited!!!
Hi Ya'll (I'm from Texas, can you tell?)
What a crazy week! But definetley not as crazy as kercs! We got some great news, for one thing. We are going to be moving from an apartment to a house in March!! We are going to be renting from our MIL while she is overseas teaching for DODS (Department of Defense). Hooray!! We are so excited. Plus it's like ten minutes away so not a major move which is nice.
My daughter is having a really hard time right now, we think she is teething....it's so hard to know though. Does anyone have any tried and true helpful hints for this? I have barely slept this week. She just nurses and nurses and nurses, latches off, cries, repeat, or else she is just crying and crying and can't be consoled...... It looks like two molars are trying to come through, along with two other teeth in the front.... possibly one other. Again, it's hard to tell espesially when she is not all that cooperative!! She is acting like she usually does when teething, just way more intense. We do have some homeopathic teething tablets that help somewhat. Cold stuff works during the day....etc.
Also, I LOVE Mothering magazine, I Love reading, I need suggestions from ya'll mamas about other quality reading Please!! I'm having a hard time digesting Parenting, etc.
As far as eating, I've got a good eater here. She loves all kinds of veggies, tofu, bananas, applesauce, and definetley Annies Mac-n-cheese which we've started adding stuff to, like broccoli, tuna, etc. She LOVES that. Also, whole wheat bread, whole grain crackers, Gold fish... she's easy. In that regard anyways.
Well I think that covers anything... who knows as I am in desperate need of some
ekblad : you posted while I was writing this, just saw your post - Congrats on Jackson's walking!! How exciting!
leah....with regards to something....going back to look, oh yeah. Kids getting in to stuff (like playstation, etc). We were having a heck of a time keeping my dd out of two things 1. tv/media/game cabinet and 2. dog dish. We solved 1. by finding a cabinet we could put her toys in and she spends about 20% of her day just opening and closing the door. I think that was most of the fun in the tv cabinet. and then solved 2 by trying to be more aware of when she was in to playing with water -- and let her use her sippy cup, bath toys etc more often.
|Tiredness alone would not be a contributing factor in milk supply issues. If that were the case a good majority of bfed babes wouldn't be thriving.
You have a great point there. But the tiredness + stress + graduate school + totally mentally unprepared for baby in life +all close family being far away+physiology + ..... =problems for me and Erin with breastfeeding. And honestly, at first I didn't know that I was having problems. I thought all babies cried all day long unless they were latched on to their mom's boobs. And I didn't worry too much when she hadn't gained more than 2 lbs in 4 months of life, but for whatever reason we did have major issues to solve. Honestly, tiredness and stress were possibly the two biggest in my life.
and i think you're really right in that each baby is unique -- and each mom is unique.
|My daughter is having a really hard time right now, we think she is teething....it's so hard to know though. Does anyone have any tried and true helpful hints for this?
wet washcloths for her to suck on
my dd LOVES her toothbrush when she's teething. I think the bristles feel good on her little swollen gums
frozen breastmilk slushies (or if she eats other stuff, frozen peas)
those are my ideas right now, if i think of any others I'll come back.
Kids at heart - You are a saint for taking on extra kids that require so much care and don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise. If anyonie gives you crap about propping bottles for Julia ask them how many foster kids they have taken in or asj them to come over andhold it so you can have a much deserved break. I would reccomend eliminating some of those night time bottles (hey since you are going to be up all night anyway :LOL) If I remember correctly the Baby Whisperer had some gentle advice as well as Jay Gorden and The No Cry Sleep Solution. They would probably help both the babies.
Has anyone experianced this: Ava has a red dot in hyer eye. Like she poked, scatched or embeded somehting in it. I was pussy before ( I think but may have been part of this) Anyway, we caqlled ask-a-nurse which I expected ot be worthless and they told me to have her seen in 24 hours but we are in Minneapolis and have no insurance so I would rather wait until we got home but at the same time sight is a good thing and we would like to preserve it. Am I overreacting? Am I awful for not rudhing to the emergancy room. I was going to call our ped but the nurse said they were taking his calls tonight so I would just get her againa dns he assured me should would say the same thing :LOL
I don't think you're awful for not rushing to the ER - Eyes heal so quickly, if it's just a scratch on the "white" of her eye, and it's not bothering her, I bet it would be OK to wait until you get home (as long as that's not weeks from now
) I'd at least wait until the morning and see what it looks like in the light of day, and how Ava feels. I'm basing this on all of the times I've rushed myself to the ER for some scratch to my eye, only to be told that it will heal itself up - Sometimes I get a cute pirate eye patch, but other than that, I've spent a lot of $$$ for basic advice...And you can get your own eye patch for a couple of bucks at any drugstore.
I agree that vision isn't something you want to take chances with, but if it's not weeping/bleeding/getting worse, I don't see that waiting a bit and trusting your instinct is a bad call. FWIW.
FYI the dial-a -nurse is basically useless. I think about 9 times out of 10 they tell you to go to the ER. They just have script they have to read from. They can't give you their own opinon.
About 2 months ago my oldest woke up with a stiff neck that would not go away. My mom started scaring me with stories of meningitis, so I called dial a nurse. They said take her in immediatly. Turns out she had a stiff neck and it just needed to be waited out. Now we have a $300 ER bill.
Trust your instincts, and don't let fear based ideas make your decision.
we've been having just one nap a day too. this is really hard on the schedule, bc she gets really tired by 6pm. so she goes to bed earlier, and naturally wakes earlier.
i know she is tired earlier, but with the teething and now walking, so is not able to relax enough to give into sleep.
she is walking wonderfully now. her balance is excellent, and she loves being able to move. i can't believe how fast she picked it up, once the first step was taken.
as for her getting into everything, i guess walking as only increased that. but i haven't had any "problems" with it yet. she doesn't hear the word no very often- only when pulling the cat's tail. for other things, we use the word fragile or soft so that she knows not to "hurt" those things. but soft was not working with the cat's tail. but, either is "no." what works best for us is having everything w/in her grasp safe. occassionally she gets to something- like my alter is reachable now. i say mama's fragile, and she touches but does not destroy. :LOL
i am eagar for the day when she does not want to eat paper.
Thanks, lilyka (Sandra). I agree, we definitely need to get this girl off the 3 hour night time schedule. There is absolutely no reason she should be hungry all night long. Last night for dinner she had an entire jar of Gerber garden vegetables, then some chicken/pasta/peas/carrot baby food stuff I made, and then 3 (count them- THREE) 8 oz. bottles in 3 hours!!!!!!!
She fussed and fussed from 7 until 10 pm, and nothing seemed to help except the bottle. (She's never done this before in her life, so I'm thinking teething combined with growth spurt???) I guess I just don't know what else to do for her, since it seems that her bottle is her "boobie", so it comforts her, pacifies her, and fills her up... I've got her down to half-strength bottles at night, but if I just give her a pacifier she wakes right up again. I have read that drug-exposed babies can have a voracious appetite, for some weird physiologic reason... So, I don't know. We really need to buckle down and get these kids sleeping through the night, even if it means they fuss a little. Those of you who know me have seen how many times I've posted that I'm "finally going to get Zach in his bed", but this time I mean it! :LOL Both of them need to give their parents a break, and
S L E E P!
(Part of the problem is that if I'm not here to reinforce things, DH just give Julianna a bottle every time she wimpers so he doesn't have to deal with her, but that's another story all in itself...)
Where are Mamamoo, XmasEve, and solsticemama???????
We miss you guys!
OK, I'm going back to the "Life with a babe" forum to hunt them down and bring them back to the "Toddlers" forum!
I'm back! Our computer surprised us with a Christmas present-- it broke. And then I couldn't find you guys, but here you are, duh, as though the little person in my home could still be deemed a "baby."
Wow, I have missed a lot and shamefully admit that there's no way I could catch up. Sorry. But hugs all around!
Dd's a mover and a shaker, but still only 6 teeth and under 20 pounds. I think it's the allergies holding her back in that regard, but treatments are going well. She loves to eat solids, but they make her sick so we breastfeed about every hour of the day and every other hour at night. I don't know which is more noticeable, that my breasts hang to my knees or that each nipple sports 6 tiny indents... I'd like to get pregnant again but can't jeopardize my milk supply.
I'm trying to catch up...I've not been very good about movin' it on over to the TODDLER threads. Yikes!
Kerc---(bummer on the happenings lately, btw) I can totally relate to you on the sleeping in the crib thing. Owen isn't a good sleeper in our bed. I've tried and just finally resigned myself to the fact that he sleeps way better in the crib. One thing that I've always made sure of was keeping a rigid schedule as well. Makes for kind of a boring life when you have to be home by 7:00 so you can get your kid to bed, but the payoff is that he sleeps for 11 hours every night (and still takes 2 naps/day). It's wonderful. I used to nurse ds to sleep for naps and bedtime but it was stressing me out. Back in about November or so I started putting him down awake. What a relief! I have no problems with him at all--I make sure I watch for his tired cues. I still nurse him before naps/bed but he normally doesn't fall asleep while nursing (unless he's WAY over tired) and then I put him in his crib.
So...all that to say you are not alone. Not sleeping with my ds was the best thing I could have done for him (and myself as well). As much as I thought cosleeping would be great for us, it just didn't fit him. Maybe my next child will, maybe not.
Owen is eating everything! He's a really good eater but he is in constant motion when he's not sleeping. Does not stop! He weighs about 22 lbs. Jacob weighed 20 lbs at 5 months, so 22 at 13 months is strange to me! :LOL
We are taking a "toddler time" class at ECFE (early childhood) one morning a week. 1/2 the time is play with mom and child and the other 1/2 we separate--kids stay w/teachers and moms go in another room with a parent educator. I was a bit nervous about it all, as Owen's never been left with anyone but my mom and that's only been 3 times for only about 2 hours per time! Turns out he was one of the only ones who did not cry or even seem to notice I was gone! :LOL It was so cute walking back into the room and seeing him waddling around playing with toys.
I promise to be a better member of this group from now on! :LOL
XmasEve nice to have you back. Ds is asleep, I've just put some potatoes in the oven. Wondering what everyone does when the weather keeps you and babe indoors for several days in a row. Yesterday was a bit aimless. Today we went and hung out with a friend and her babe who is the same age as ds. It was good to be with another mom in the same baby rhythm but ds only took a half hour nap since her ds wasn't napping at the same time and had a lot to say :LOL
We seem to be having some success with signs which is fascinating. It's amazing how much the babes understand and are only limited by their lack of spoken vocabulary. Ok mamas
For all of you who using signing with your babe... When did you start and how did you learn?
Zachary is SO close to walking. He's been letting go and standing in one spot, he just has to take the real steps. It's cool to watch.
I know what you mean, solsticemama, about communication. When Z. gets frustrated he jumbles his hands together and shakes them, like he's trying to sign something. He looks at me like I should know just what he's 'talking' about. He won't sign "milk" when he wants some, but he'll sign it while he's nursing. He definitely knows "more", so well that when we tried to teach him "shoe" he just did the "more" sign :LOL... So, we'll wait awhile and try again on that one. It helps a lot that Crystal is deaf, so she sees Zach signing (or us signing to him), and he sees her signing, so it encourages both of them. Julianna has no clue about it, but she says a few words and seems to be more verbally expressive. She's much better at immitating sounds than Zach is. Like if you say "thank you" to her, she'll say something that sounds like it, whereas Zach just replies with a random made up sound. It's so amazing how different they are.
Did I tell you all that Julianna's mom is now out of jail? She's in a halfway-type house, where she's in a rehab program to regain custody of Julianna. She has to take parenting classes, get a job, get a home, show up to all the supervised visits, etc., all while testing negative on random drug tests... She's been out a month and hasn't done anything on the list (except get into fights with the other residents of the group home), but she's very anxious to see Julianna. If everything goes "right", she'll get a visit schedlued as early as next month! I knew this day was a possibility, but I wasn't prepared for it coming so soon... Julianna has been my baby since she was 5 days old, and she doesn't know anyone else as her family. I know I'm being selfish... But it's hard to think that in a year and a half, "my" baby could be gone.
Social Services says that if her mom relapses (which she has done with her other children), and Julianna has to be removed from her custody again, they'll bring her back to us. Not very comforting, though. It would suit me fine if we could keep Jul and her mother could have visits! Ah well, such is life... At least we loved her and gave her an awesome life while we had the chance.
Hug your babes and hold them tight, and be thankful for them!!!
|Originally posted by lilmiss'mama
For all of you who using signing with your babe... When did you start and how did you learn?
i am using joseph garcia's "sign w/ your baby"
i have not been very consistant, so it is going slow. trying to work on it more these days.
i like his approach. it is based on the ASL version, which i like.
wanted to say that i updated my pictures in my sig line.
no pictures yet solstice mama?
s to Leah.....
Wow! What a long thread!! My dd was born 12/10/02...we adopted her from Guatemala and she was placed in our arms May 30, 2003. She is still bf, walking, talking few words, loves to blow kisses at us and her dolls and stuffed bears and generally spends all day chasing our dog to pat her your give her a bone. We also have a 6 year old son....
mona, is that you and your dh in the pictures?
ramblinrose, you are bfing your adopted dd? Absolutely FANTASTIC! Before I found Mothering mag I had never heard of this. My SIL adopted 3 kids but I don't think the idea of BFing them ever entered her mind....she pumped and fed her one natural child a bottle...weird.
ramblinrose, your story is so heartwarming, inspiring, interesting- just all around cool! Can you tell us inquiring minds a little more, if you don't mind? Was she bf before she came to you, and then you just started up? Or was this a new thing altogether? My mom's aunt adopted a son and daughter and nursed them, and I think it is wonderful for a mother to do that! I tried nursing my foster DD, but she had a weak suck and major reflux probs, not to mention the fact that I was nursing Zachary... Anyhoo, it takes a lot of heart, and work, to do it.
Cute pics, Lisa.
Island Mommy --yes, that is me and dh in the pictures.
dd's teething is making me a wreck, and her too.
i am thinking of going the traditional route just for a bit to see if that helps.
i had read that children's advil was better for babies/toddlers...
What do you think?
Also, what has the least amount of junk?
Question for y'all: where does your toddler sleep for naps and how do they get to sleep?
I have probably the world's worst sleeper, still needs to be held for most naps. At least he only takes 2 a day now. But the only way I can get him to sleep is by holding him in the nursing position so he can nurse and walking around really fast. Rocking isn't good enough. And even this doesn't work all that often. He fights sleep so bad! He has always needed a really long time to get to sleep--several hours usually. I can't stand it anymore!
He used to sleep in his baby hammock but won't even go in it anymore. He will take a short nap (45 min) in bed with me but I can't leave. I need some space, help!! We've adjusted his bedtime earlier to about 7:30 but he still wakes up all night. I'm just tired of trying to get him to sleep.
Naps are an issue for us too. Dh puts Jackson to bed at night and for naps on the weekends. Jackson usually doesn't nap during the week, though, unless it's in the car or as a fluke. I can't get him to sleep for anything. Maybe it's an age thing? A co sleeping thing?
I don't know about you guys, but when baby has a nap *alone*I savour every minute. Right now she is sleeping in my arms, attacted to my empty boob. When I finish writing this, I'll have to try to put her down. Putting her down goes something like this... lay down with her, get all comfy, let her suck the boob for a while (depends) and then wait till she is really asleep and then I can take my nipple out of her mouth and slink away... very quietly.... When she wakes up, she is mad, upset and does not like the fact that I'm not right there, even if i'm on the end of the couch!
It's pretty frustrating sometimes. I keep on thinking, "when she falls asleep, I can ...", but then I never get around to it, whatever it is, because I'm so happy I can just sit here on MDC or watch T.V. ....
have to eat, two babies are surviving off me right now!
For naps we use our maya wrap. Ds usually falls asleep in it and then I transfer him to the bed--sometimes he wakes, sometimes not--or I just keep him in the sling on me and read or log on to MDC
The signing we've been using has been from a great site www.signwithme.com
It's ASL based. We've only been doing it for a few weeks but ds has caught on quickly. Today he signed 'more' for 'Goodnight Moon'
Today as I was driving along I was thinking about all the things I had to do. Pretty prosaic stuff or as I like to call it 'everyday sacred' stuff. Ya know laundry, dishes, vacuuming, grocery shopping on top of any other personal interest things I have going. I'm wondering if any of you mamas have been able to make time for any kind of formal spiritual practice--prayer, meditation, watching your breath, sitting silently, offerings etc. This is something so replenishing for me but it's challenging to find a chunk of time for it.
Mamajaza how are you feeling these days? Are you showing yet?
Mona, the pics of your family are lovely. I'm still trying to get my pics up, having a hard time uploading. Computers are not my forte
Signing: We started signing at birth (just because) and she did her first sign yesterday (more) and has understood the sign for milk for several months.
KAH: I am so sad that you might be losing Julianna. I guess this has always been a possibility but she just seems so yours. It seems cruel to take a child out of the only home they have know. aagghhh I will be praying for you guys
Ava's eye looks much better. It looks like she got something in there. I know dail-a-nurse is worthless (I have a $900 bill for a mild case of the flu that was remedied with tylenol to prove it) but at the same time I feel obligated to run these things past people because I have blown off some pretty serious stuff in the past. it is a viscious cycle. I have vowed never to take another child into the ER without first calling my Dr. but unfortunately for me the calls were being patched into my peds offices so I would have gotten the same person. Anyhoo, glad I didn't rush in. The rest of our stay in Minneapolis was a nightmare. The pipes in our hotel burst so we had to relocate at 2:00Am and then we were starving. The concert was OK (why can't the guy from POD sound good live? WHY? ). Linkin Park rocked but I was sitting in the lame people sections. Kinda funny to see all the old people at a concert. Just for the record we did not take Ava. :LOL
naps: Ava takes about a 2-3 hours nap a day at about 12:00 or 12:30 and I lay her down a wake. She whines a little but is usually asleep within 2 minutes. I was rough getting on a schedule but it was the best thing I have ever done. I think schedules have really gotten a bum rap from the AP croud, but I am telling you, I have a very happy baby because of her schedule. I wish I had done this with my last, perpetually grumpy baby. My first was like clock work had a schedule despite my best efforts to foil it. And yes, I savor every minute of her nap.