19 month old hitting, what do i do? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 05-03-2009, 09:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My 19 mo hits me, hits dad, hits the dogs, hits anything nearby that he can when he gets angry (which is often). He can really hit hard too!

We are committed to not hitting him, no spankings or the like. How do I handle the hitting? Will he grow out of it? He doesn't talk all that much and I can't explain anything to him. So far i just hold his hands and say "no hitting." Is that the best i can do?

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#2 of 5 Old 05-04-2009, 12:21 AM
 
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Levi went though a hitting phase for a while. I tell him 'hands are not for hitting' and tell him why (ie it hurts mommy/the dog etc)
I also gave him alternatives. 'if you are mad, you can hit your pillow' or if he was hitting just thinking he was being funny or something, I made him 'drums' (oatmeal container) and told him to hit his drum.

I think it was more lack of communication, he'd hit because he wanted something, or wanted to do something or wanted me to do something, and reminding him 'use your words and tell me what you need' would help. Now he only needs ocassional reminding of that (he is 21months now). He talks and signs a lot though. the signing helped a lot because he could tell me what his issue was. And if I couldnt figure out what he wanted asking him to 'show me' helped too - he would take me over to the thing he was trying to get off the shelf or whatever.
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#3 of 5 Old 05-04-2009, 01:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i don't think i can explain anything to him...really, i'll try, but he doesn't have a lot of words

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#4 of 5 Old 05-04-2009, 06:09 PM
 
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Prancie, I've found that the average pre-verbal toddler understands much more then they have the vocabulary to express, which can cause frustration on both sides. What has worked for me is oodles of re-direction and repetition of "gentle touches." As she is going towards the dog to touch, I remind with a happy sound "Use gentle touches" When we touch each other, I demonstrate "here's some gentle touches" when she wallops someone/something I remind again, and guide her hand gently if she needs a bit of help, LOL This was my methodolgy as a toddler teacher too, and children pick up on it pretty quickly. Also, when the hitting is teh result of frustration getting in the habit of telling them to "use their words" to express themselves is good too, even when they don't have many words yet.
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#5 of 5 Old 05-04-2009, 09:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prancie View Post
i don't think i can explain anything to him...really, i'll try, but he doesn't have a lot of words
He doesnt have to be able to say them to understand them

Nicole - )0( unschooling mama to Lilahblahblah.gif (12/21/05) and Cianwild.gif (9/21/07) as well as 3 dog2.gif 2 cat.gif,  4 rats, chicken3.gif and ducks
 
 

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