Not sleeping through night at 28m - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 18 Old 01-09-2004, 10:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
chie96's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hampton Roads, VA
Posts: 293
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Is anyone's child still not sleeping through the night on a regular basis? I can't believe I am posting this about my (almost) 28m old child, but she does not sleep through the night and at 37 weeks pg I am at my wits end.

When I got pg DD was 20m and still nursing 1-2 x/night, plus several times during the day (which was great with me - I truly didn't mind). Nursing quickly became very painful, however, so near the end of my 1st tri I night-weaned her over the course of a week. It was fairly easy and at that point she was waking maybe once/wk. I would get in bed with her until she fell asleep but she didn't usually ask to nurse.

Near the end of my 2nd tri, at 23w, DD abruptly weaned over the course of a week or so (this is when my colostrum came in) and hasn't nursed since . What she still wants, however are her "Mama milks". At naptime and bedtime she still needs/wants me to get in bed with her and she wants to snuggle up to my breasts. Fine. I can handle that - although I am starting to think I am going to be the only Mama in the world who has to wean her ("weaned") child from the boob !

Over the last month or so her night-time waking has become more and more of an issue, though. She started waking again. Not only does she wake, but she now gets out of bed and comes out of her room, crying all the while for her "Mama milks". So, out of bed I get (and I am up no less than once every 1.5 hours anyhow to pee) and head down to her room. I climb into her bed, let her snuggle and fall asleep, then I trudge back upstairs. Last night I got a grand total of 3 hours sleep (but that's unusual - I usually get a whopping 5 or so).

What on Earth can I do? DD#2 is just a few weeks away from being born and there is no way I can handle two children up all night. DH, God love him, is of no help. He has never put DD to bed, mainly b/c she has always nursed to sleep (or now snuggles with me) and won't let him. We don't co-sleep anymore for several reasons: I don't want to have both DDs in bed with us/me, DH snores like a freakin' freight train and keeps DD up if she sleeps with us, and I don't sleep with DD in her room b/c her bed makes my back ache. I won't even consider letting her CIO, so what are my options? TIA for any help.
chie96 is offline  
#2 of 18 Old 01-09-2004, 02:29 PM
 
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 10,631
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 89 Post(s)
I feel your pain...and have lots to add (sympathy wise). I'll post more tomorrow. I, too, will have to wean my child off my milk-less breasts!

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
IdentityCrisisMama is offline  
#3 of 18 Old 01-10-2004, 03:15 PM
 
mmgarda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Montclair, NJ
Posts: 1,432
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 26 month old (who weaned at 12 months, much to my dismay!) has not slept through the night for months now. I know that it's perfectly normal for kids to wake up several times a night, but he can't seem to get himself back to sleep without help. Since hs has never really had sleeping problems and since he goes to bed easily, I don't know what to do.

He sleeps in his own room, on mattress on the floor, so he can get out if he needs to. He'll wake up, cry and cry, "I want my Daddy!" or "I want my Mama!" until one of us goes into him. Sometimes he'll get out of bed and come in and want to get in our bed. Although I don't really mind it that much, we've never been good at family bed (he's a KICKER and I am a very light sleeper), it's nice in the morning. The problem is that he's now going to bed around 8:30, waking around midnight, 1, 2, 3 etc. He won't sleep!!! He wants one of us to sleep in his bed and it's just not that comfortable.

NOW, I found out that it's taking him about an hour to fall asleep for nap at daycare, too. That's really unusual and his naps are getting shorter. I believe that sleep begets sleep and so now I think he's too overtired to be able to sleep well, but I don't know what to do! I feel like if we get into his bed or let him into our bed it gets worse and he can't seem to sleep without one of us at all!

Any suggestions or advice would be so very much appreciated! I don't know if this is a reaction to potty training (which he is very, very successful at so far), if he's going into a growth spurt, if that last 2nd molar is coming in or what, but I'm so sleep deprived it's making me crazy!

Melina

ex-Californian, making my way on the East Coast with DS (10), DS (6) and WAHDH. Former extended BF'er, co-sleeper, and baby-wearer. Remembering how to garden.

mmgarda is offline  
#4 of 18 Old 01-10-2004, 03:53 PM
 
IdentityCrisisMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 10,631
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 89 Post(s)
Okay, I have some thoughts.

The nap thing may be an issue. My daughter started having trouble fitting a normal sleep schedule AND her normal long nap in when she was about 25 months. We’re still in the process of figuring it out. We’re on a nap schedule where she naps for several days and then passes on a nap on days where she’s too out of wack and can’t fall asleep before 5pm.

My other thought is that maybe you could talk to your daughter or son about sleeping better. I know it sounds strange but after my daughter has a bad night, we talk about it. I explain that I need my sleep and I can be a better mom to her if she can sleep more in the night.

About the cuddling with the boobs…Aya does that too! If I could let her she would kneed my nipples all night long. We have a slightly different issue with it because we still co-sleep but I still must reduce it because sometimes it drives me crazy. Perhaps, we could try to wean them from feeling the breast in the same method that people wean gradually from eating at the breast?

I think it is normal for kids this age NOT to sleep though but it makes it all that much harder to deal with as they get older…I KNOW!

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
IdentityCrisisMama is offline  
#5 of 18 Old 01-11-2004, 01:00 PM
 
mmgarda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Montclair, NJ
Posts: 1,432
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Identity Crisis,

You know, we actually have been talking about it a lot. DS started it, in fact. The other morning he said, "I'm not sleeping well." And I said, "I KNOW!" So we tried to see if he could tell us why, but verbal as he is, I think he doesn't understand. I didn't, however, try to explain that it makes it hard for me to be a good Mama. I'll try that today, since I finally lost it at 6:00 this morning and yelled at him and slammed his door shut. Of course, now it's 8:00 AM and he's still asleep, which means we're in for another round of f'd up sleeping.

It seems that he simply needs comfort in the middle of the night. I understand and I feel terrible about it, but I simply cannot wake up 3-4 times a night and function right now. I could barely do it when he was newborn. Since I'm a really light sleeper, I wake really easily and then it can take me a long time to go back to sleep. I worry that's his problem too!

It's nice to realize that others have the same problem. (Not that I'd wish this on anyone!) I guess, though, that I figured we wouldn't have this kind of issue since we don't do family bed. It makes me so sad to know that we've foregone the closeness of family bed (I still know I couldn't do it all night every night), but it hasn't seemed to have gained us much. Ugh. I think I'm just being emotional from sleep deprivation.

Time to go wake the bubby. Thanks for your advice.

Melina

ex-Californian, making my way on the East Coast with DS (10), DS (6) and WAHDH. Former extended BF'er, co-sleeper, and baby-wearer. Remembering how to garden.

mmgarda is offline  
#6 of 18 Old 01-19-2004, 03:15 AM
 
guest^'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 1,818
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
But for us, it was waking up to nurse. As soon as dd got all her teeth in(including 2 y molars) she finally night weaned and started sleeping through the night. She is 7 yo now, and is an awesome 9-9 sleeper!

Ds OTOH, has one wee little corner left to push through on his very last 2 y molar, and has been keeping me up night after night. I was trying to night wean him, and he was doing great, and then we moved,he got sick, and we are back to struggling again.

We have always coslept, and I totally relate to the snoring dh. What has saved both my marriage(: ) and allowed us to cosleep, was getting an air-purifier(helps with allergies too!)-it provides white noise,blocking out all those wonderful people sleeping noises we all make. We have ds's little bed pushed up against ours, so he feels secure, and when he wakes up I don't have to get out of bed to meet his needs. NOt a perfect solution, but one that allows us to compromise on everyones needs,habits and comforts.

HTH!

mp
guest^ is offline  
#7 of 18 Old 01-19-2004, 06:56 PM
 
phathui5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Oregon
Posts: 17,478
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
One thing that has helped us a little is having dh put dd to sleep while I'm putting our older ds to bed. It takes a little off me, with not having to nurse them both to sleep. Ds does end up sleeping in our bed for about half of the night though, he comes in with us when he wakes up.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
phathui5 is offline  
#8 of 18 Old 01-20-2004, 01:33 PM
 
mmgarda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Montclair, NJ
Posts: 1,432
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi Ladies,

Well, turns out that DS was finally getting that last tooth! He's sleeping much, much better now.

However, in the meantime, I talked to a friend who's a sleep educator and mother and she gave me several suggestions that I wanted to post last week. She said that if your child is very verbal, you can use that to your advantage by explaining and reasoning (a bit) that sleep is very important and that Mama and Daddy feel better when they sleep through the night and that DS feels good, too. Here are some specific suggestions she had for people who don't want to or can't do a family bed:

* Extend your bedtime routine a bit. Sing one more song, read one more book.

* Talk about what you're going to do in terms of the bedtime routine, ending with "and then you'll close your eyes and go to sleep and wake up in the morning."

* If your DC has a special lovey (doll, blanket, etc.) tell him/her that if s/he wakes up in the middle of the night, find the lovey, hug it tight, snuggle down under the covers and go back to sleep because it's night time and Mama and Daddy are asleep and DC needs to be asleep too.

* If DC still wakes up and calls for you, give verbal reassurance that you're there and it's time to be sleeping. Remind him/her to find the lovey and snuggle down. Try not to give physical reassurance since you're trying to stay out of his/her bed or trying to keep him/her out of your bed.

* If DC wakes up fewer times, lavish praise on the morning and talk about how good s/he must feel after getting more sleep.

* Give LOTS of extra cuddles during the day.

* If you have a clock radio you can set it to go off (to play music at a certain time and tell DC that we don't get out of bed until we hear the radio/music. If you already use a timer or anything like this, it may work very well. If DC gets up in the middle of the night, remind him/her that s/he's not supposed to get up until s/he hears the music.

The main thing we've done is reminding DS to find his baby at night and cuddle up. That plus lots of daytime love seems to really be doing the trick. He's slept through without a sound for two nights in a row during the past week, and only sort of called out once or twice the other nights, without even needing a response from us. I'm reallyn proud of him and so glad to have some ideas to follow. I hope they are helpful to others, too!

Melina

ex-Californian, making my way on the East Coast with DS (10), DS (6) and WAHDH. Former extended BF'er, co-sleeper, and baby-wearer. Remembering how to garden.

mmgarda is offline  
#9 of 18 Old 01-20-2004, 03:46 PM
 
guest^'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 1,818
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi mommas-

mmgarda-I just wanted to reply to a couple of things that you have brought up.

Quote>>>>I guess, though, that I figured we wouldn't have this kind of issue since we don't do family bed. It makes me so sad to know that we've foregone the closeness of family bed (I still know I couldn't do it all night every night), but it hasn't seemed to have gained us much.<<<<<<

I do know of several families that never planned on(or even heard of) practicing the family bed or cosleeping. But they arrived at that decision because modern day conventional sleep practices weren't working for them.Cosleeping worked for them,enabling them to meet their dc's needs and their own needs.

Furthermore, I think many believe that practicing the family bed or cosleeping will create or increase a childs sleep problems. That just is not true. It is so individual for each child and each family. I think it is normal for humans to want to sleep close to another human....especially little,little ones we are discussing here.

Quote>>>>If DC still wakes up and calls for you, give verbal reassurance that you're there and it's time to be sleeping. Remind him/her to find the lovey and snuggle down. Try not to give physical reassurance since you're trying to stay out of his/her bed or trying to keep him/her out of your bed.<<<<<<<

To me, that is CIO. We are talking about very young toddlers here. There are very few toddlers under the age of 3yo that have such command of their language skills,that you could explain to them and have them understand inthe middle of the night that mommy and daddy are trying to sleep and that they are close by, and that the dc needs to go back to sleep. It is normal and natural for people of all ages-but especially-really young people as we are talking about here,to wake up in the night to have their various needs met. When a young toddler is waking, it could be for numerous reasons, and since they cannot verbalize exactly why they are waking, it is up to the parents to try to meet their needs. To withhold physical affection from a young toddler or any age child(IMHO) is harsh and inappropriate.

The OP was stating that CIO wasn't an option for her and she was asking for alternatives to that. When I posted earlier, I was offering some BTDT and also saying I am there too right now-but NO WAY would I let my ds CIO. IN our unconventional practice of meeting our dc needs in an AP way, it is hard to find support from others-IMO. MDC is a place where a mom like the OP or myself can post and complain and be understood and come together to try to brainstorm to find AP friendly ways to solve our various parenting challenges.

I don't mean to pick on mmgarda, I just wanted to give my HO cuz I know there are many lurkers here who are in the same situation and looking for solutions.

I have said it before and I will say it again, becoming a mommy is so hard when it comes to sleeptime-but I really feel for myself that when I became a mom, I gave up my right to a full nights sleep. I don't like to be up several times in the night, if you were to ask anyone in my RL, they would tell you that I am always tired-I will never stop trying to get ds to sleep better, but Iwon't compromise my nighttime parenting beliefs.

After my most sleep-deprived weeks, I have *demanded* and *insisted* to my dh that he must take the dc all morning both Sat. and Sun. so that I may catch up(a little) on sleep. That sacrifices a clean house,alltogether family time,etc...but it has worked for us.

I don't mean to sound like I am on any soapbox here. I am Praying that we all get better sleep tonight.

(perhaps this thread should be moved to the NIghtime Parenting Forum?)





mp
guest^ is offline  
#10 of 18 Old 01-20-2004, 05:31 PM
 
nuggetsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Riding around on my xtracycle
Posts: 1,070
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally posted by mamapoppins
Quote>>>>If DC still wakes up and calls for you, give verbal reassurance that you're there and it's time to be sleeping. Remind him/her to find the lovey and snuggle down. Try not to give physical reassurance since you're trying to stay out of his/her bed or trying to keep him/her out of your bed.<<<<<<<

To me, that is CIO. We are talking about very young toddlers here. There are very few toddlers under the age of 3yo that have such command of their language skills,that you could explain to them and have them understand inthe middle of the night that mommy and daddy are trying to sleep and that they are close by, and that the dc needs to go back to sleep. It is normal and natural for people of all ages-but especially-really young people as we are talking about here,to wake up in the night to have their various needs met. When a young toddler is waking, it could be for numerous reasons, and since they cannot verbalize exactly why they are waking, it is up to the parents to try to meet their needs. To withhold physical affection from a young toddler or any age child(IMHO) is harsh and inappropriate.

mp
I didn't read this as CIO at all. I tell DD it is time to sleep because it is dark outside if she wakes up in the night. THis is more of an issue now because I am trying to transition her to her own bed. Before she would wake up and settle herself back in and rarely involved me (but still I would wake up and be aware of it) after we night weaned. Anyway, she is not on the floor of our room and when she wakes up I tell her I am there and that it is time to sleep and this tends to settle her down. I guess I started the verbal reassurance while she was still in our bed FT, and rather than nursing, I would pat her back and tell her I was right there etc.
So what I am trying to say, is that it is worth a try to give verbal reassurance or to try to vary the comforting routine a little. If it doesn't work for us, I ask her to come to our bed (maybe a bad idea considering, but I never said I knew what I was doing) and she does. If the toddler is not crying, it is not CIO, and you certainly don't have to withhold physical contact if verbal reassurance is not working.

I hope everyone gets their sleep issues resolved, but I have accepted that mine may be here to stay for a while...
nuggetsmom is offline  
#11 of 18 Old 01-21-2004, 02:08 AM
 
mmgarda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Montclair, NJ
Posts: 1,432
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hey ladies,

I don't believe in CIO. That's not at all what I was talking about here. My frustration has ever been that a family bed, which is what I would really prefer, simply doesn't work for us. NO one gets much sleep, least of all me, and I am a totally insufferable b**ch when I don't. I don't think that co-sleeping creates bad sleep habits or problems for people in general, but I do KNOW that it creates problems for us. To me, it's better for my DS to have a mama who can function without totally losing it every 5 minutes than it is for him to sleep poorly in our bed. But nothing else has been working lately, too, and it's been hard for me to find help.

The list of suggestions was merely something I wanted to pass on because I hadn't ever been given any alternatives other than sleeping together or CIO, and those don't work in my house. The first for reasons above and the second because I don't believe in it. Our DS doesn't necessarily wake up screaming and crying. But he does wake up and demand our presence. My goal is to try to help him develop ways to get back to sleep without us, so that we can all get a good night's sleep. I'm not suggesting that anyone scream "Go back to sleep!" at their child. Our house is really small, so there's about 6 feet from our bed to his, although he's in another room. If he wakes up, we can quietly call out to him and remind him that we're there and it's time to be sleeping. If he's really crying, then we go to him. It works for us.

I just wanted to make the info I had available for anyone's use if they want it. If it's not your style, there are certainly other ways of dealing and they may suit you better.

Good luck to all!

Melina

ex-Californian, making my way on the East Coast with DS (10), DS (6) and WAHDH. Former extended BF'er, co-sleeper, and baby-wearer. Remembering how to garden.

mmgarda is offline  
#12 of 18 Old 01-21-2004, 02:31 AM
 
smeta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 718
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry I didn't read all the posts ladies ( I gotta get to bed!) - but I just wanted to say don't give up, they will slepp through the night!!

My dd is finally consistently sleeping through the night. She didn't start until she was 32 months and ds was a month or two! I didn't get much sleep those first couple months after I had him - but it was like something just clicked w/ dd and it became natural for her to sleep the whole night. Sometimes she wakes and cries for a minute and goes back to sleep. And now we are trying to night potty train, so that's messing w/ it a bit too. She was the absolute worst sleeper, but now it doesn't seem so bad... so hang in there!

I'll come back and read everything when I'm not so tired and I can share what worked for us
smeta is offline  
#13 of 18 Old 01-22-2004, 03:37 AM
 
guest^'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 1,818
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
HI mommas-

I guess you are right nuggetsmom and mmgarda-it isn't actually CIO, but it just sounded too close for me to not respond. While the dc may not be actually *crying*, he/she is still crying*out* for the parent. And to just try to comfort the child verbally,while withholding the physical comfort sounds too harsh. I suppose, that is the problem I had with the list of suggestions from the sleeping expert....is the withholding physical affection. From an AP way, I don't see that as an appropriate,respectful way to help my child feel comfortable sleeping on their own. I do think there were some great suggestions that you gave mmgarda....I just wanted to add my .02 as I know that many lurk here at MDC to see what advice they can get , and many think that because a person has the title of "sleep expert" they must be right,etc...I never think that it is AP friendly to withhold affection-ever. I am all for verbal reassurance,but not intentional physical withholding to prevent the dc from coming back to to the family bed or whatever.

You guys sound like you are very devoted mommas-albeit sleep deprived....and i'm right there with ya. Last night ds slept6 straight hours, and when he woke me, I offered him water, and snuggles,but refused the breast. He went back to sleep for about 1 hour, then demanded the boob-I looked at the clock and it was after 6 so I opened mommas cafe back up and snoozed with one eye open till 8 when we got up.

It was wonderful-but for now only happens a few times a week.

This too shall pass.....

I hope I don't sound cranky or judging.....

Peaceful sleeping wishes to all......

mp
guest^ is offline  
#14 of 18 Old 01-23-2004, 01:02 PM
 
mmgarda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Montclair, NJ
Posts: 1,432
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
MamaPoppins,

You're not being judgemental, just standing up for what you believe in. I get a little frustrated sometimes because I feel like it's hard to find a happy medium.

The woman who gave me the suggestions I posted above is part of an organization here in the LA area that strongly fosters AP. These were her suggestions only after making sure that I didn't want to sleep with my DS or have him sleep with us. I just wanted to post them because I think there are many of us for whom aspects of AP just don't work, but we don't know where to turn unless it's the CIO stuff that we aren't comfortable with. Or maybe we've gotten to the point where we're trying to figure out how to commute the physical comfort we've always given into something else, so as to help our kids learn to comfort themselves.

My personal philosphy is that each family has to figure out what works best for them as a whole. I just wanted to share the suggestions I'd gotten, in case they'd be helpful to others.

Melina

ex-Californian, making my way on the East Coast with DS (10), DS (6) and WAHDH. Former extended BF'er, co-sleeper, and baby-wearer. Remembering how to garden.

mmgarda is offline  
#15 of 18 Old 01-23-2004, 01:09 PM
 
mmgarda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Montclair, NJ
Posts: 1,432
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
MamaPoppins,

You're not being judgemental, just standing up for what you believe in. I get a little frustrated sometimes because I feel like it's hard to find a happy medium.

The woman who gave me the suggestions I posted above is part of an organization here in the LA area that strongly fosters AP. These were her suggestions only after making sure that I didn't want to sleep with my DS or have him sleep with us. I just wanted to post them because I think there are many of us for whom aspects of AP just don't work, but we don't know where to turn unless it's the CIO stuff that we aren't comfortable with. Or maybe we've gotten to the point where we're trying to figure out how to commute the physical comfort we've always given into something else, so as to help our kids learn to comfort themselves.

My personal philosphy is that each family has to figure out what works best for them as a whole. I just wanted to share the suggestions I'd gotten, in case they'd be helpful to others.

Melina

ex-Californian, making my way on the East Coast with DS (10), DS (6) and WAHDH. Former extended BF'er, co-sleeper, and baby-wearer. Remembering how to garden.

mmgarda is offline  
#16 of 18 Old 01-24-2004, 02:49 AM
 
guest^'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 1,818
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
mmgarda-

I hear ya momma!!

I was so frustrated last night, I was on the phone with my sis till after midnight-dh pissed at me for talking on the phone so late-but my sis is super sick with endometriosis and is planning on her next step.....

SO- ds woke me up at 3 AM and I refused giving the breast and instead offered water and snuggles......he goes back to sleep for about 30 minutes,wakes up crying........then starts vomitting!

He has had severe vomitting and diarhea(?) and I just now layed him down to try to eat something. I did take him to doc..unusual for me but that's another thread.....doc says he has viral tummy flu....so just put a bucket by dd's bed.....as doc said the rest of us will no doubt get it.

UGH.....he is puking up breastmilk,and pedialyte pops. I hate this!!!

I am stuffing an Amy's pizza in my mouth,a little wine and headin to bed expecting little to no sleep.

This too shall pass.......hopefully sooner lthan later......

mp
guest^ is offline  
#17 of 18 Old 01-26-2004, 02:40 AM
 
nuggetsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Riding around on my xtracycle
Posts: 1,070
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
mamapoppins,

I hope you all get over it soon. DD had a very short stomach flu a couple of weeks ago on the very night that she actuall voluntarily requested a vegetable at the table and ATE IT!!!!!
I have no idea if this ruined cabbage for her for like, but it may have. Of course we all got it in various stages and with varying severity. I also wonder why I always get puked on (and not DH)

SO I understand how tired you feel and I hope you all feel better soon.

Anyway, I had just wanted to add my 2cents worth about how I could see that there are two ways to "ignore" a wakeful toddler at night. I don't mean that you should withhold physical affection if that is clearly what is required, but it may be worth a try to see if DC is reassured by your voice. DD seems to be sometimes and not other times. I didn't think you were being particularly judgmental at all.
nuggetsmom is offline  
#18 of 18 Old 01-26-2004, 09:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
chie96's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hampton Roads, VA
Posts: 293
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
TY all so much for your thoughts and insights. It has been quite helpful to read both the suggestions and to know that others are facing the same types of challenges.

Quote:
Originally posted by mmgarda
...I talked to a friend who's a sleep educator and mother and she gave me several suggestions that I wanted to post last week.

* Talk about what you're going to do in terms of the bedtime routine, ending with "and then you'll close your eyes and go to sleep and wake up in the morning."

* If your DC has a special lovey (doll, blanket, etc.) tell him/her that if s/he wakes up in the middle of the night, find the lovey, hug it tight, snuggle down under the covers and go back to sleep because it's night time and Mama and Daddy are asleep and DC needs to be asleep too.

* If DC wakes up fewer times, lavish praise on the morning and talk about how good s/he must feel after getting more sleep.

* If you have a clock radio you can set it to go off (to play music at a certain time and tell DC that we don't get out of bed until we hear the radio/music. If you already use a timer or anything like this, it may work very well. If DC gets up in the middle of the night, remind him/her that s/he's not supposed to get up until s/he hears the music.
I loved the previous suggestions! We have a set routine and DD really loves it. First we change her diaper, then brush teeth and wash her face and hands. Next she gets in bed and says, "1...2...3...LIGHTS OUT!" and I turn off the lights and make a big production of getting into bed with her, as she always takes over "my side" and we are very silly about her moving over . Once she moves and I am in bed, we say prayers and lately I have asked her if there is anything else she wants to talk about. We usually carry on a very silly discussion for about 5 min. and then I ask her if she's ready to count. I then say, "1...2...3...NO MORE TALKING!" Then - and this is the sweetest thing she whispers, "I love you Mama. Night-night." Now to incorporate the other three suggestions I liked...

DH has been wonderful. He has taken over weekends with DD and although she has strongly resisted the 1st weekend, she did much better this past weekend. I even heard her say, "Mama not coming, Daddy? Mama Milks are sleepy?" and she let him put her down (after demanding water, a diaper change, and a few stories - which he of course didn't read at 3:45 AM)!

All in all I think this will work out. I agree with mamapoppins when she said that "...becoming a mommy is so hard when it comes to sleeptime-but I really feel for myself that when I became a mom, I gave up my right to a full nights sleep. I don't like to be up several times in the night...but Iwon't compromise my nighttime parenting beliefs." Thankfully there are many different ways to approach this issue and eventually we'll all find a way for it to work.

Thanks again, everyone!!!
chie96 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off