pinching Daddy's nipples, pulling cat's tail - any ideas? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 3 Old 01-19-2004, 02:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DD has always been attracted to DH's nipples. She just has always loved to poke at them, always playfully, but now she is entering her disagreable stage, I guess. If DH takes his shirt off (which is inevitable, he rarely wears a shirt in the house), DD will pinch his nipples - VERY hard. So hard that

is his automatic reaction. We both can't stand that that's his reaction, but it is, and DD isn't listening to us when we say not to pinch. But she knows what we are saying, she is just refusing to do it.

This disagreablity is bugging the cats, too. DD is having a great deal of fun in using a cat's tail to pull the cat across the room; sitting on the cat, and sometimes bouncing; hugging the cat, which is cute until she's squashing the cat and the cat is whimpering. Our dumb cats are so sweet and nice, they haven't scratched her yet, but I wish one would, because I'm out of ideas for how to discipline her gently. That sounds horrible that I want a cat to scratch her, but do you kwim? I think some things are best learned through experience.

Mostly, I guess I am looking for ideas about gently disciplining her. I tell her that it hurts the cats to pull on the tails, and that we wouldn't want anyone to hurt her like that, etc., but she doesn't care. Also, I don't think she understands my comparing her being hurt to the cats being hurt.

I know that her disagreability is a part of her becoming her own person, but dang, there are some things that we can't have her doing as frequently as she is (our poor cat has been pulled around by the tail 6+ times today).

Sorry for dragging this on for so long, but any advice would be greatly appreciated! TIA


Rachel, married to Andy, mama to Aubrey, Lauren, Sasha, and *surprise* Baby #4, due November, 2011
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#2 of 3 Old 01-19-2004, 03:46 AM
 
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Well, I don't have the answer for you because we haven't solved it ourselves, but I just wanted to say that we have the exact same problem with daddy's nipples over here. Ds is obsessed, and dh used to let him explore but then ds would inevitably pinch them really hard, so now dh has had to make them off limits. Ds even gets mad when dh puts a shirt on after getting out of the shower because he wants at them!

It's strange to me, because ds is so gentle and responsive to being told to be gentle in other ways - with babies, with animals, etc. But he is just obsessed in this area.

We just keep explaining over and over, hoping that it will sink in. Also, I have to say that I think it is appropriate to have a natural 'angry' reaction to being hurt. When ds hurts me I yell "ow" before even thinking about it. And even though I feel bad if I scare him, I think it's good for him to learn the consequence of being too rough with someone.

I just reread and saw that your dd is about 1.5yo. My ds is 2.5yo, and there is a big difference in understanding between those ages. I still think it's appropriate to show the natural consequence of her hurting someone, but I would probably be a little wary of the cats. I would be afraid that the one swipe would be to her eye or something. She's at an age where if she's not responding to being gentle, then it might be a good idea to try to keep her away from the cats for awhile unless you or dh can sit with her while supervising and modeling gentle touching.
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#3 of 3 Old 01-19-2004, 03:41 PM
 
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Poor kitties. You'll just have to keep the cats away from dd. She really can not understand that she causes pain. At this age they are just learning about cause and effect. Maybe daddy just has to keep a shirt on. Out of sight. Out of mind. Our ds is also very interested in his daddy's nipples. Why not? Thay are small and fuzzy. Very different from Mommy's. We have found keeping a shirt on and not giving a big reaction (I know it's hard cause it hurts.) Helps. Good Luck!
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