"We don't _____" Rules you never realized you had until you had a toddler. - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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#301 of 323 Old 05-21-2012, 03:40 PM
 
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LMAO I forgot about this thread!!

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#302 of 323 Old 05-22-2012, 06:48 PM
 
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Love this thread!!


Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#303 of 323 Old 05-23-2012, 07:19 PM
 
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Ha ha!  Love the trash cans one!! Have totally been there :)

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#304 of 323 Old 05-23-2012, 07:41 PM
 
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"We don't pick our sister's scab!"

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#305 of 323 Old 05-23-2012, 08:40 PM
 
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"We don't pick our sister's scab!"


OMG! LMAO

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#306 of 323 Old 05-24-2012, 04:26 PM
 
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DC#2 is only 13 months so we don't have too many of these yet but...

 

"We don't pee on mama's cell phone," is a new rule in our house. 


Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#307 of 323 Old 05-24-2012, 04:54 PM
 
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We don't pee on the groceries.  

 

I had to say that a few months ago.

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#308 of 323 Old 05-24-2012, 08:01 PM
 
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We don't pee in the corner of the bedroom, nor do we laugh at your brother while he's doing it


lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
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#309 of 323 Old 05-24-2012, 08:03 PM
 
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you cannot whine to Mom if the baby calls you a bad name or tells you to shut up.  YOU said it in front of him, YOU taught him it.

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lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
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#310 of 323 Old 05-25-2012, 09:42 AM
 
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These are so great!

"We do not lick the cat"

"We don't let the cat lick your snack"

"Cat food is for cats, not for people"

Are some I've been saying a lot this week.
 

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#311 of 323 Old 05-26-2012, 01:54 PM
 
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You may not rub your penis on the cabinets.

You may not rub your penis on Mama.

You may not stick your penis in Mama's belly button, no matter how hilarious you think that is.

We do not put the baby in the washing machine.

We don't put him in the dryer either.

We do not put our toys in the dogs' water bowl.

We do not put other people's toys in the dogs' water bowl.

We do not put ourselves in the dogs' water bowl.

You may not put your penis in the dogs' water bowl. I don't care if it is a boat. Stop it.

No one but DS may tickle his testicles.

We do not touch anyone's penis but our own. Not even the dogs'. I don't care if you don't have your own, it still applies.

We do not kiss Mama with tongue.

We do not kiss the baby with tongue.

We just don't kiss with tongue period until we're all grown up.

We do not throw people's shoes in the pool. We certainly do not collect and throw everyone's shoes in the pool.

Pee goes in the potty, not in bowls, not in boxes, not on the table, the doggy bed, the Mama bed, the Mama, or the Sissy.

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#312 of 323 Old 05-26-2012, 06:31 PM
 
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"We do not shovel our penis with mom's garden trowel."

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#313 of 323 Old 05-26-2012, 06:47 PM
 
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My kids aren't toddlers, but a few recent ones that have been told to my daycare toddlers:

 

We don't hand our friends our boogers.

We don't drop kick the realtor.

 

My most favourite, and repeated so often lately that I've made a song about it - We don't eat our friends.


Certified Crazy™ Wife to my Spiderman husband luxlove.gif(Aug '01)

 

Super proud Momma  to DD (Jan'00), DD (Apr '02) and DS (Jun '04)

Always loving and missing our Baby James angel.gif born sleeping at 19 weeks (July '03).

 

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#314 of 323 Old 06-02-2012, 09:32 AM
 
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"We don't feed the cats cheerios in bed." or anywhere, I guess...  


tea6.gifcancer-beating wife to caffix.gif DH since 7/4/09, mother to REPlaySkateboard04HL.gifDS 5/1/11 + energy.gifDD 8/21/2013

 

 angel1.gif (4/09) angel1.gif (5/12)

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#315 of 323 Old 06-03-2012, 07:43 AM
 
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Oh my, this is the best thread ever LOL.
A few of our own:

We do not pick mommy's nose while nursing (or at all).
We do not take our shoes off in the carseat and place them in the cup holders.
We may not have any of Grandpa's beer, regardless of how cute we are or how big we smile.
Kitty is not a stool or a pillow.
Kitty's water fountain is not a splash pad.
We do not stick our entire arm up to our shoulder into mommy's water bottle.
The potty bowl is neither a hat nor a snack, especially while full.
We do not play with our vulva while peeing on the potty and expect a high five for a job well done before washing our hands.
We do not attempt to twist off Grandma's nose; she needs it.
Daddy's underpants do not make fashionable hats.
... and the list goes on. She's 14 months lol
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#316 of 323 Old 06-04-2012, 01:02 PM
 
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Heard lately ---

 

We cannot barbecue every single thing we cook. 

No one threw away the baby's teeth. It just hasn't come out yet. Please do not look for it in the trash.


Andrea Olson, DS 2.5 yrs, DD due 10/9/13

Author | EC Simplified: Infant Potty Training Made Easy

Owner | GoDiaperFree.com

[I teach parents of 0-20 month old babies how to stop diapering
full-time and how to avoid...

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#317 of 323 Old 06-07-2012, 07:00 PM
 
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We don't put our feet in mamas food. 


Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#318 of 323 Old 06-07-2012, 07:39 PM
 
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If you simply must pee outside, we don't do it in the middle of the deck or on the front step.

 

Today:  We don't buy ice cream before we go, if we're leaving the playground early because you spat on another kid.


One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:    or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son:  (a sophomore) ... our little man:   (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  our
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#319 of 323 Old 06-09-2012, 10:08 PM
 
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- We don't paint with our pee (newly potty trained 2yo DD about to put her paintbrush in her potty)

- We don't put Play-doh in our butts (after showing her how to make imprints of our finger nails, hands and noses)

- We don't use Mama's toothbrush to pedicure our toenails
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#320 of 323 Old 06-14-2012, 07:35 AM
 
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Ha, I'm laughing at how many of these my 18mo does that either don't give me pause or that I think is funny - peeing in the dog's water bowl, underwear on the head, zzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZ GHV  UBNUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGUGGGGGGDT




Living and loving in ATX with DH (of 7 years) and DS (3.5)
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#321 of 323 Old 06-14-2012, 07:36 AM
 
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Ok, how about "We don't bang on the laptop when mama gets up to pee"?




Living and loving in ATX with DH (of 7 years) and DS (3.5)
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#322 of 323 Old 06-20-2012, 09:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletBegonias View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by dnr3301 View Post
never thought I'd have to make a "we wear underwear while using scissors" rule
:

"we don't ride the cat like a horse"
"we don't put bobby pins in our penis"
"we don't barf into peoples hands when we don't like our food"
"we don't eat coconut foot cream"
"we don't put unwanted food/toys between mom's boobs"
"we don't give people our boogers"
"we don't try to look at our yoni when we pee, pee goes everywhere"

dd arches her pelvis to watch herself pee and then the pee arcs over the toilet seat. our bathroom always smells so fresh.

 

Oh dear me. My DD does half the things you mention here. The barfing thing is the WORST. I was crying and I was laughing so hard. I mean really? Spitting out food is so damn gross and it's DDs newest activity.

 

"we don't draw marker on the cat"

"I know it's washable but we still don't!"

"we don't eat jellybeans out of the flower beds"

"we don't touch mamas pimples because it hurts"

(yes, I get huge ones after ovulation, I'm so lucky!!!)

 

Really tho! Toddlers are strange creatures! Love em!


geek.gif Mama + superhero.gifDaddy +energy.gifDD (12/20/09) = heartbeat.gif

Expecting stork-girl.gif #2 in September!

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#323 of 323 Old 06-22-2012, 12:00 AM
 
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I've been reading this post for awhile and I finally have a great one to add :)

From 2 y/o DS yesterday:

 

" No , your penis is NOT hungry, you do not need to feed it your popcorn" 

 

I had to remember to not eat popcorn out of his bowl after this started....ewwwwwww

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