"We don't _____" Rules you never realized you had until you had a toddler. - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 323 Old 08-31-2009, 06:29 AM
 
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  I love this thread.

We don`t lick the restaurant wall...or the sink
We don`t open a public toilet door while Mommy is in there.
and no, Mommy does not look good with Daddy`s pajama pants on her head.

Me sleepytime.gif DH violin.gifand the kiddos run.gif   Follower of Jesus heartbeat.gif
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#122 of 323 Old 08-31-2009, 08:44 AM
 
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Dont close DVD cases on your penis, it will hurt. (He only did that one once!)

Mummys phone does not belong in the bin...or the toilet...or the cupboards.

ME: Honey, dont put your toy food in the guinea pigs cage, it will make them sick.
DS (age 2): No it wont.
ME: Yes it will.
DS: No it wont.
ME:Yes it will!
DS: No it WONT! (then comes the realisation that you are arguing with a toddler...never thought I'd do that!)
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#123 of 323 Old 08-31-2009, 02:48 PM
 
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"Please don't rub your penis on Daddy's mouth guard, he will not use it again and we'll have to buy a new one." Had to talk about this on 2 separate occasions. If it happens again I plan on washing it and not telling dh, it's getting expensive.

"Marshmallows are not for breakfast, they're a special treat." Almost every day this week out of nowhere he makes this request.

"Poop doesn't go on the floor/bed it goes in the potty."

"Don't stand between Mommy's knees when I'm trying to wipe, back up please. Please back up. Go see what Daddy's doing. Sigh, go away."

Malinda, partner to Ryan, Mama to Super-Holden (Nov 2006) and my new little bundle, Declan (Feb 2010)
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#124 of 323 Old 08-31-2009, 04:34 PM
 
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"We don't scrub our testicles with mommy's toothbrush."

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer"
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#125 of 323 Old 08-31-2009, 04:44 PM
 
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We have a lot of crazy ones ("no butts on people," for example) but the latest is "no flipping over someone - and that includes a somersault!"

WAHMama to Allen (2-10-05) and Alexa (6-27-08)
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#126 of 323 Old 08-31-2009, 05:12 PM
 
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we don't answer the phone "wrong numba!" and then hang up.
we do not drag things out of the dirty clothes to have picnics on.
we do not ride the broom like a stick horse when naked.
we don't eat cat food. when pestered why, why, I finally just said, because it's not vegetarian.
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#127 of 323 Old 08-31-2009, 06:23 PM
 
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We don't pull mama's pants down!!


I wear a lot of yoga pants around the house.
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#128 of 323 Old 08-31-2009, 08:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vortexing View Post
How about:

We don't put allen wrenches in the dog's anus, she doesn't need "tightened".

(Especially when the dog is a 13 year old, blind, deaf, arthritic Labrador who never would've seen it coming).
Oh no, hahahaha! That is the best/worst thing I've read lately.
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#129 of 323 Old 08-31-2009, 08:30 PM
 
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No licking Mama's butt

and

No painting vulvas with fingernail polish were two rules I had to create lately.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#130 of 323 Old 08-31-2009, 08:36 PM
 
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Spoke too soon, apparently "not sticking q-tips in our vagina" is another needed rule at our house.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#131 of 323 Old 08-31-2009, 09:58 PM
 
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This is a hilarious thread!
How about:
We don't put your finger in your sisters butt.
We don't pull our pants down at a restaurant
We don't stick the peas we don't want to eat in our nose, ears or other small holes on our bodies.
We don't throw food in the bathtub.
Oh yes, and my favorite, we don't stick our unfinished lunch down the babies diapers.

That was interesting, to change the babies diaper and find hot dogs, carrots sticks and grapes shoved down the back of her fuzzi bunz.

Atara wife to Joseph mom to Kaleb and Jacob : Caeden Ashlyn : and our angel baby ,:,
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#132 of 323 Old 08-31-2009, 11:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by adamsfam07 View Post
Oh yes, and my favorite, we don't stick our unfinished lunch down the babies diapers.
: I had to LOL at that one!

><> Mom to superhero.gif (6) hearts.gif (4) energy.gif (2) and baby.gif (born March!)
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#133 of 323 Old 06-06-2010, 11:53 PM
 
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Me + Dh = Dd1(9.5 yrs) + Dd2(7 yrs) and Ds(4.5 yrs)
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#134 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 11:45 AM
 
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Parking meters are not for licking. Um, yeah, for real I said that.
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#135 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 11:53 AM
 
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Originally posted 8/2009!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbie64g
We don't drink the bath water. ESPECIALLY after we have peed in it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~LadyBug~ View Post
If you can figure out how to enforce this rule, PLEASE share it with me....I have the same problem
Its been almost a year, and I still havent figured out how to get him to stop drinking the bath water. His brother has now followed suit. Fortunatly, the older one is PLing, and pees before getting in the tub. I cant be sure about the little guy.

I have resorted to just letting it go.
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#136 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 11:55 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbie64g View Post
Originally posted 8/2009!!



Its been almost a year, and I still havent figured out how to get him to stop drinking the bath water. His brother has now followed suit. Fortunatly, the older one is PLing, and pees before getting in the tub. I cant be sure about the little guy.

I have resorted to just letting it go.
Let me guess...leans over and sips it? Yeah, I'm there with you. We only worry if he does it after he's been soaped (um, soap water? gross)

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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#137 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 11:59 AM
 
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We don't tell other people about the size of daddys peeper...
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#138 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 12:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbie64g View Post
Originally posted 8/2009!!



Its been almost a year, and I still havent figured out how to get him to stop drinking the bath water. His brother has now followed suit. Fortunatly, the older one is PLing, and pees before getting in the tub. I cant be sure about the little guy.

I have resorted to just letting it go.
We have a "clean water is for drinking" rule. I give him a measuring cup and leave the cold water on trickle so he can fill up the measuring cup and drink that water. I do find that I have to remind him on a very regular (like every bath) basis that clean water is for drinking...
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#139 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 12:38 PM
 
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We don't lick the keyboard.

We don't lick mommy.

We don't lick the cat.

We don't hold the cat down by the neck, if she wants to go, let her go.

We don't corner the cat in a room, if she wants to go, let her go.

Me + Dh = Dd1(9.5 yrs) + Dd2(7 yrs) and Ds(4.5 yrs)
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#140 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 03:08 PM
 
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We do not stroke, rub, uncover, or nurse from anyone's boobies but Mommy's.

DD wanted to see Grandma's boobies this weekend while she was babysitting...so she started unbuttoning Grandma's shirt...

And her Montessori preschool teacher told me yesterday that when she (the teacher) is nursing her 10-month-old son at school, DD stands there saying, "Milk! Mmmm, yummy" and making sucking noises while eyeing the teacher's boobs hopefully.

And I can identify with this one:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Camile Rynd View Post
We don't tell other people about the size of daddys peeper...
Announcing, "Daddy has a penis because he's a BIG BOY!" is not something we say in public!

Mama to DD, my 2/24/08 BIG KID formerly known as sling baby, and DS, my 12/23/11 train-loving, wall-climbing toddler! 
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#141 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 03:15 PM
 
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We do not take off Mommy's shirt in public.

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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#142 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 03:17 PM
 
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"We don't ask mommy to give our testicles a kiss."

"We don't pet the dog's anus. That's private."

"We don't sleep in the dog's kennel."

"We don't turn off the chest freezer without mommy and daddy knowing because then mommy ends up cleaning an enormous, stinky, salmon-juicy mess.

Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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#143 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 03:50 PM
 
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This is hilarious!

We don't scratch our heads while eating. avacodo really sticks in the hair...
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#144 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 03:50 PM
 
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We don't slam the door on the dog's tail. He doesn't like it because it hurts.
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#145 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 03:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by babygirlie View Post
This is hilarious!

We don't scratch our heads while eating. avacodo really sticks in the hair...
We also don't rub our ears...or our eyes...


When we're finished eating we tell Mama...we don't pick up bites of food and drop them behind our back.

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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#146 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 04:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by babygirlie View Post
This is hilarious!

We don't scratch our heads while eating. avacodo really sticks in the hair...
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
We also don't rub our ears...or our eyes...


When we're finished eating we tell Mama...we don't pick up bites of food and drop them behind our back.
Yes we do!!! WE do ALL OF THESE THINGS.
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#147 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 04:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Barbie64g View Post
Yes we do!!! WE do ALL OF THESE THINGS.
Oh Good. I thought it was just us. He doesn't do it as much anymore...but there was about a month where he would drop chunks of food down his back (we have one of those chairs that goes on an adult chair) to show he was done eating. Sometimes we wouldn't notice until half of what was left was behind him. Ugh. So messy.

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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#148 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 04:06 PM
 
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We don't try to high-five strangers while nursing.

CPST & mom

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#149 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 04:16 PM
 
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Ugh. So messy.
Matthew, who is about your sons age, now eats totally naked, and gets a bath immediately after dinner. only because he usually ends up with half his meal in his hair. When we have pancakes or waffles for breakfast, SO.MUCH.FUN!!!!

We dont walk around the grocery store with our hand down our pants, and then expect ANYONE to shake our hand.
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#150 of 323 Old 06-07-2010, 04:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Barbie64g View Post
Matthew, who is about your sons age, now eats totally naked, and gets a bath immediately after dinner. only because he usually ends up with half his meal in his hair. When we have pancakes or waffles for breakfast, SO.MUCH.FUN!!!!
Well, he's usually naked or just in a diaper anyway so...but yeah, I made him "Fried apples" one day (butter, brown sugar...) and he rubbed his head. Early bath@

Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
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