-We don't sit on the dog naked. He probably doesn't want you to pee on him.
-We don't put our head or feet in the potty chair.
-We don't kick mama in the face with our feet during nursies.
We don't wake mommy & daddy up by sticking their glasses up their nose.
we dont expose mommy's breasts in public because we want to nurse
hammers and bathroom floor tile do not mix
hammers and linoleum also do not mix
hammers and sidewalk concrete don't mix either
A few from our house:
We do not rub spicy food into our eyes. Or Daddy's eyes.
We do not climb into the bowl of tabouli. That's for dinner.
We do not put our fingers in the butter.
We do not take all the apples out and bite each one.
We do not hang from the cheese drawer.
Okay, just get out of the fridge already!
We do not stick fingers into the fan.
Daddy's CD collection does not need a bath in the toilet.
We do not put Daddy's poker chips in the heating vents. Or in the garbage.
No, you cannot drink Mama's beer. No, not even a taste. No, you cannot splash in Mama's beer either.
Mama's breasts are not for biting. No, it isn't funny when she screams..
We do not jump up and down in the high chair.
We do not play with dirty diapers.
when she was a toddler..
we must have underwear or other covering on the butt to go outside
We don't squeeze the cat, she does't like it.
the 2 second rule only applies in OUR house
I kept finding what I thought were fingerprints all over it (it's chrome); turns out they were toe prints.
So glad this thread is still going strong!
and remembering: little turtle 5/23/2006 and poppyseed 7/15/2009
"bite our penis with our alligator"
"use a toothbrush on our penis"
"bite power cords"
"nurse and eat at the same time"
"store food in our underwear"
the ever popular:
"bite the cats"
"drink from the dog/cat dish, eat dog/cat food, etc..."
and walking a path illuminated by our 5/08 8/11 due in 1/14
Please finish eating what's in your mouth before nursing. Mommy doesn't like peanut butter and Nutella all over her nipples.
There is no need to announce to everyone at the crowded public beach that you have a vagina and Robbie has a penis. They already know. Because you decided that since Robbie was having his diaper changed, you would take off your bathing suit and run around naked. Thanks...
Mama to Sara and Robbie
We do NOT stick Philipe the screwdriver in our anus.
We do NOT try to rip off our brothers penis when he stands up in the tub.
But some to add.
"We do not drink water from the bird baths."
"We especially do not eat rocks that the doggies have peed on."
Proud Single Mama, Birth & Postpartum Doula
Student, Aspiring CNM
DD ~ 1/7/09 DS ~ 9/22/10
Pam Cliff Malachi 5/08 Judah 5/10 Eden 8/12 Asher 8/12
You can't get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me. ~CS Lewis
We don't throw the entire roll of toilet paper into the toilet.
We don't throw toothbrushes into the toilet.
We don't put Mama's dirty underwear around our neck.
"We do not put our dirty clothes back into our dresser"
"We do not splash in the biggest mud puddle we can find right before we're supposed to get on the bus to go to school."
For my DD
"We do not put food in other people's drinks"
"We do not throw everything off the table because you want to use it as a stage"
"We do not throw our shoes at our parent's head because they're taking too long to get you outside."
(2yo ds did both of these after I got out of the shower)
"We do not eat our brother's teeth!"
(Backstory: DS1 was walking around with a straw in his mouth. DS2 tried to pull it out so DS1 bit hard, a tug-of-war ensued, ending when DS2 pulled very hard - out popped the straw & DS1's loose tooth. The tooth sailed through the air & onto the kitchen table. DS2 promptly picked it up, said 'toot' (tooth), and put it in his mouth. Awww, the joy of siblings! )
Loving mama to magical boys Skyler (11/21/03) and Gryffin Emrys (9/30/08).
We do not put raisins in our diapers and then eat them.
The dog does not like to have his anus touched. STOP IT!
We do not share already chewed food with mommy.
We do not shove pacifiers in diapers.
obstruct livery vehicles