"We don't _____" Rules you never realized you had until you had a toddler. - Page 9 - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-13-2010, 02:41 PM
 
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We don't twiddle momma's right nipple while popping on and off her left one, super annoying!

We don't comb momma's pubic hair in the shower... thanks anyway, lol!
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Old 08-13-2010, 03:08 PM
 
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We don't comb momma's pubic hair in the shower... thanks anyway, lol!

tea6.gifStudent mama to Lyra June loveeyes.gif (ribboncesarean.gif 10.24.09)  and Olive Isis love.gif  (vbac.gif12.12.11) 

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Old 08-15-2010, 10:10 PM
 
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We don't get married at Costco. (Typically. Although "Where the Heart Is" came to mind when she said it.)

W had a flower hair clippy thingie on the end of her finger and told us it was a ring. I said, "Oh! Are you getting married?" and she looked at me like I was growing corn form my ears. So I explain engagement rings, showed her mine, etc. She goes, "Oh, yeah. I'm getting married. I'm getting married when I'm... My teacher says I'm growing up and and and and when I grow up I'm going to get married at Costco."


Kris: "auntie" to W (7yrs)  and Z (5yrs)
 
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Old 08-15-2010, 10:35 PM
 
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A doozie that fell out of my mouth today during lunch --

"We don't dip our [stuffed] monkeys in ketchup!"

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:35 PM
 
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We don't eat cat food.

wash.gif  Me  + bikenew.gif Dh =  broc1.gif  Dd1(9 yrs) + hearts.gif  Dd2(6 yrs) and blowkiss.gif Ds(3.5 yrs)
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Old 08-16-2010, 01:31 PM
 
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We don't hit the dog, or the cat, or mommy with a baseball bat.

Karen, mother to a wonderful active three year old.
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Old 08-16-2010, 01:41 PM
 
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We don't play with our nipples while walking through the grocery store.
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Old 08-17-2010, 02:22 PM
 
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We don't eat using crayons. We only use forks or spoons.

 reading.gif Wife to DH geek.gif  since 08/06. Mother to Eleanor Rose energy.gif, born 10/12/08.  h20homebirth.gif
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Old 08-17-2010, 03:41 PM
 
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You can't brush your teeth AND nurse at the SAME time

DD has tried many times...

Mama to ds 6/00 and dd 1/09
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Old 08-17-2010, 03:59 PM
 
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Just moments ago....

"We do not stick the pacifier in the cat's butt."


... thankfully we have a very tolerant cat.
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Old 08-18-2010, 12:36 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vancouvercat View Post
No, your penis does not need to drink your milk too.

This one is a winner for me.
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Old 08-18-2010, 05:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by major_mama11 View Post
ob brand tampons might come in a cute little wrapper, but they are NOT candy!
My son picked one up and used it as a baseball bat with a pom pom.

I didn't stop him...but I didn't tell DH about it, either.

DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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Old 08-18-2010, 06:08 PM
 
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We don't put sunscreen on the puppy, he doesn't need it!

We don't give the cats juice from your sippy cup!

We don't stick things in mommies bra when you dont have any pockets!

wild.gifCrazy Chef-in-training baking wife(27) of geek.gif (32) mother of 2 energy.gif 11-21-03 & 9 - 13 - 07
 
 
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Old 08-18-2010, 09:00 PM
 
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We dont put cookies in our bumcrack. I just said that to her today. lol.

Me(33), Mama to a crazy DD (6), Wife to a wonderful mountain man(32) BF my babe for 2 years
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Old 08-19-2010, 12:04 AM
 
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Old 08-19-2010, 08:57 AM
 
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We don`t drink out of mama`s peri bottle.

Well, at least let me wash it before you do
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Old 08-19-2010, 09:29 AM
 
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We don't lick the oven door.
Pinching Mommy's breast will not make milk come faster.

Me: femalesling.GIFDH: fuzmalesling.gifDD: hearts.gifDS1: superhero.gifDS2: babyboy.gif
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Old 08-28-2010, 12:36 PM
 
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...play "garbage truck coming" by dumping all of the garbage into the dog's kennel and then putting the garbage bag back.

Pamstillheart.gif Cliffguitar.gif Malachi 5/08 bouncy.gif   Judah 5/10 jog.gif  Eden 8/12 babygirl.gif Asher 8/12 babyboy.gif

 
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Old 09-02-2010, 10:13 AM
 
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"We don't "jiu jitsu" people's faces, honey." Found myself saying that one yesterday.

(If there were an icon for chasing a little boy around 24/7 I'd post that one)
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Old 09-02-2010, 12:10 PM
 
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:rotfl

This is the best thread ever!! So far I say on a daily basis "we don't eat dog food", but that seems pretty tame compared with some of these!

Lovestruck luxlove.gif mama to Girlie #1 energy.gifand Girlie #2 on the way!
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Old 09-02-2010, 12:26 PM
 
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I thought of this thread this morning as I told DS, "We don't put our tooth brush on our penis."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Why?"

"Let's go get dressed. You can collect all the toothbrushes so we can sterilize them with boiling water."

DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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Old 09-02-2010, 12:32 PM
 
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We don't pour milk on our friends

Mama to Q (9/03) and M (12/06) :
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Old 09-02-2010, 12:39 PM
 
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This happened last night.

"We don't lick the bumpers of cars."

2 minutes later...

"We also don't lick the tires. No, it's not funny, stop it."

mama to   broc1.gif DS 6/06 and banana.gif DS 4/08
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Old 09-03-2010, 10:36 PM
 
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Tonight I added, "we never eat food out of the compost pile" to the rule book.

 Single mama to two wild and sweet toddlers 2/08
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Old 09-04-2010, 12:36 AM
 
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DD, the dog's penis is not his tail. (The "where is the dog's tail?" game got retired pretty quickly around here!)

We do not brush the dog with our toothbrush, that goes in our mouth only.

We do not brush mommy with the toothbrush, either.

Mommy doesn't always want to smell your feet during nursies, honey (said with a toe up my nose...)

~Erin~ totally in with Olivia! 5/31/09
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Old 09-04-2010, 12:03 PM
 
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Tonight I added, "we never eat food out of the compost pile" to the rule book.
:Puke

Kris: "auntie" to W (7yrs)  and Z (5yrs)
 
→Waiting to start my own little family←
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Old 12-14-2010, 10:03 AM
 
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We don't put food we don't "like" on other's plates. (Especially half-chewed!)  

On that note, we don't decide we don't like something before we try it. irked.gif


Kris: "auntie" to W (7yrs)  and Z (5yrs)
 
→Waiting to start my own little family←
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Old 12-14-2010, 10:37 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepingbeauty View Post

We don't put food we don't "like" on other's plates. (Especially half-chewed!)  

On that note, we don't decide we don't like something before we try it. irked.gif



or on the table or on the edge of your placemat. Leave it on the EDGE of YOUR plate. You can do it. Just leave it there. Don't touch it. Now eat the rest of your dinner. Yum. You love curry chicken. No, just leave the bean where it is. It's ok.


DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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Old 12-14-2010, 10:44 AM
 
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DD is just about 18 months and we are just getting into this stage. :lol:

 

Most recently...

 

We don't drink from the toilet

We don't eat diaper cream off our bums.


Carlin blowkiss.gif - loving life with DH guitar.gif and 2 amazing daughtersenergy.gifbaby.gif

 

 

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Old 12-14-2010, 10:49 AM
 
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Quote:
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No, your penis does not need to drink your milk too.


ROFLMA!!!!!!!!!  Maybe he thought it looked like a good straw!

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