"We don't _____" Rules you never realized you had until you had a toddler. - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-10-2009, 03:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This came up a lot in the YKYATPOAT thread, so I thought I'd do a spin-off.

What rules have you discovered that you live by that you'd never been aware of before having a toddler?

Here are some of mine:

"We don't eat with our feet on the table."
"We don't put daddy's earplugs in our vulva."
"We don't don't do handstands while we nurse."

What rules have you discovered?

thalia loves Jesus and DH wordyeight and DD#1 : 8/2007 and DD#2 9/2010
and remembering: little turtle 5/23/2006 and poppyseed 7/15/2009
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Old 08-10-2009, 03:34 PM
 
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"We don't pull on our brothers penis" springs to mind.
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Old 08-10-2009, 04:08 PM
 
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"We don't pee on toads."

Live and love with your whole being.
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Old 08-10-2009, 04:13 PM
 
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"We don't body-slam the baby" (he didn't *really* body slam the baby, but he was pretending and I was afraid it was going to turn real)

"We don't put things in our foreskin"

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Old 08-10-2009, 04:15 PM
 
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never thought I'd have to make a "we wear underwear while using scissors" rule

R~mama to 3

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Old 08-10-2009, 04:33 PM
 
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We don't put chopsticks in our ears.

-----------------------------------------

Quote:
Originally Posted by dnr3301 View Post
never thought I'd have to make a "we wear underwear while using scissors" rule
OK if this thread was a contest, you'd win! :

Yarn-aholic Mom to 2 cutest little girls. Dec 06 blahblah.gifbikenew.gif and May 09 energy.giftoddler.gif  Looking for time tocrochetsmilie.gif and sewmachine.gif. Will always remember my missing babies too ribbonpb.gif

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Old 08-10-2009, 04:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by dnr3301 View Post
never thought I'd have to make a "we wear underwear while using scissors" rule
:

"we don't ride the cat like a horse"
"we don't put bobby pins in our penis"
"we don't barf into peoples hands when we don't like our food"
"we don't eat coconut foot cream"
"we don't put unwanted food/toys between mom's boobs"
"we don't give people our boogers"
"we don't try to look at our yoni when we pee, pee goes everywhere"

dd arches her pelvis to watch herself pee and then the pee arcs over the toilet seat. our bathroom always smells so fresh.
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Old 08-10-2009, 04:43 PM
 
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we don't put birthday candles or knitting needles in our vagina.

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Old 08-10-2009, 04:44 PM
 
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oh yeah and one of my favorites:

"our buttcrack is not a pocket"
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Old 08-10-2009, 04:52 PM
 
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we don't rub our pacifier in poop and then put it back in mouth. :

~francie~
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Old 08-10-2009, 05:24 PM
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"We don't bless ourselves in the toilet. Toilet water is not holy water."

"Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?" - Andy Warhol
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Old 08-10-2009, 08:44 PM
 
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"We don't draw on the cat."
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Old 08-10-2009, 08:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by francie024 View Post
we don't rub our pacifier in poop and then put it back in mouth. :

Veronika - loving my barefoot child living happily on the west coast shop Barefoot Books
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Old 08-10-2009, 09:51 PM
 
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We do not sit in the laundry basket to eat our snack.
We do not bite the cat's tail.

I had to share this with my husband and I will tell you that I was laughing too hard to get through some of these without a break.
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Old 08-10-2009, 11:29 PM
 
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We don't peepee in the doggie's water bowl (best of all: not our dog).
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Old 08-10-2009, 11:34 PM
 
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We don't hide uncapped markers in our shirt.
We don't sit on our brother and pretend he's a horse when he wants to get up.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds   11yo dd  9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds  
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Old 08-10-2009, 11:59 PM
 
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We don't fart on people's faces.
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Old 08-11-2009, 12:08 AM
 
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We do not:
draw on our arms, hands, back, the floor or mommy's truck with markers - especially not sharpies.
pee pee on the grass in public, when a toilet is available
stick thermometers, pens, coins in our vulva/ vagina
sit on the counter with a nakie butt
lick the tub

Wife to DH Chris, Momma to :Caitlin Mae (4-28-07)
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Old 08-11-2009, 12:23 AM
 
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we don't ...
eat toothpaste.
say "what the frickin he$#" when grandma is around.
use our fingers to eat dip from the dip bowl at a potluck table
cut holes in our new socks
play in the cat litter
pee in the veggie garden
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Old 08-11-2009, 12:28 AM
 
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I can't believe somebody else already said, we don't ride the cat like a horse!
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Old 08-11-2009, 01:21 AM
 
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What a great thread! Brightens my day. May I add:

We don't nurse with wet nail polish.
We don't nurse and chew gum. You must choose.

Never ever thought I would have to make those rules.
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Old 08-11-2009, 01:36 AM
 
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I'm lmafao right now!!!!!!

I'll add
we don't put food in our vagina/butt cracks
we don't draw on the walls
we don't spit food out at the table
we don't spit in peoples/animals faces
we don't pee on the floor/carpet/car seat/bath tub/outside/couch/chairs
we don't play with pooh/dogs pooh included
we don't sit on cats
we don't ride dogs like horses and pull on their ears like reigns

You all covered the basics...feel like I'm repeating myself, lol...I guess they're all the same!

Veda 9/06
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Old 08-11-2009, 08:24 AM
 
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We don't play with our penis while cooking.

I thought my DH was going to choke when he heard that one.
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Old 08-11-2009, 08:36 AM
 
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No talking with a boob in your mouth *ouch*
If you want to wrestle you have to wear clothes
Don't eat food you find under furniture
You have to wear pants to feed the chickens

Our kids have clothes aversions...Can you tell?
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Old 08-11-2009, 09:59 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sparkygirl74 View Post
No talking with a boob in your mouth *ouch*
If you want to wrestle you have to wear clothes
Don't eat food you find under furniture
You have to wear pants to feed the chickens

Our kids have clothes aversions...Can you tell?
Also, "no nursing while chewing" Ouch.

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DCP to 1 busy munchkin! and a CRST too!
 
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Old 08-11-2009, 10:36 AM
 
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We don't pick lint off our diaper and eat it.
We don't pick junk out of the dog's paw and eat it.
We don't walk backwards into the dogs and fall all over them.

Mama to DS1 (2/08) and DS2 (9/10).
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Old 08-11-2009, 11:45 AM
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This thread is awesome.

We have to wear underwear to sit in the high chair.
We don't eat poop. (didn't happen, she just keeps asking Mommy to eat poop. yuck!)

DD 04/07 DS 12/09
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Old 08-11-2009, 11:50 AM
 
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"We always wear underwear when grandma comes over."

"We don't eat things we find in the garbage."

"We don't spit out food on the floor just because we don't like it."
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Old 08-11-2009, 12:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hedgehogs4 View Post

"We don't spit out food on the floor just because we don't like it."
I am loving that I am not hte only one with a spitter :
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Old 08-11-2009, 01:23 PM
 
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"We don't suck on the heels of mama's high heeled shoes." Every. Single. Day.
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