Help me find 30 sec of alone time...Super clingy 21 month old - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 09-30-2009, 06:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I wasn't sure what to call this post. My 21 month old ds is starting to drive me nuts. He has always been VERY CLINGY with me and REALLY shy about new places, people, etc. The past couple of months it has gotten a little extreem. For example, this morning I we all woke up and ds started crying because after reading him a couple of books in bed as he likes to do in the morning I told him mommy needed to get up and get ready (or at least pee). He threw a fit, hung on my leg and screamed the whole time it took me to pee and brush my teeth. I try to give him options like "You can brush teeth with mommy, or you can have papi read you a book." But once he has it in his mind that he wants something from me there is no deterring him. The struggle for me to get ready in the morning is a daily thing now. In fact I shower at night when he is asleep because there is no way he would stand for that much separation. It is a struggle for him to let me out of his sight for long enough to go to the bathroom a couple of times a day. And at play groups I cannot leave his side at all. It is like he has to have a hand on me at all times. His tantrums are getting more and more intense as he just wont accept that sometimes I have to say no or take 30 sec for myself. Is this normal? He has always been like this and I have tried to be understanding and let him come around in his own time, but it is getting to the point that it is embarrassing when we are out. Not to mention the fact that it is next to impossible for me to go about my day and get things done. Advice anyone?
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#2 of 3 Old 09-30-2009, 07:24 PM
 
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Hugs, mama! DD1 was clingy, but not to your LO's extreme. What worked for me was a period of slow steps towards independent play... as in I'd play with her, then watch her play with her toy the next day, then move a little bit farther away the next day, etc. for short periods of time. It took awhile, but DD learned how to be attached but independt of me for short periods of time.
Are you married? Can your DH play with your LO while you take a shower? We did that, it was rough at times on DH, but after a few days it was great.... and DD1 loves her time with her Daddy.
Good luck!
~maddymama
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#3 of 3 Old 10-02-2009, 03:36 PM
 
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ugh, i wish i had some good advice for you...my ds is pretty clingy too, our best bet is to get him involved in helping with something around the house, then i slip away, not necessarily playing with toys, but doing something like laundry, or sweeping (he loves to clean).

treehugger.gifAP mama to lovable, energetic DS born 4/9/08, expecting #2 mid Jan 2012, wife to German Professor, friend to many. namaste.gif

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