Got upset at son today. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 02-11-2004, 01:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My 15mo old bites me, and only me. This has been going on for awhile. I will think he wants to snuggle with me then out of no where he bites me. And alot of times he won't let go. He often draws blood. I don't know what he is thinking. He doesn't do it out of anger. I don't know if he thinks it is a "kiss" or if his teeth just hurt or what.

But today, I had just had it. I am 11 weeks pregnant and so tired. And he had already biten me a couple times today. Once on my arm and the other he bite my shirt and bra. He left a big bruise on my arm where he bit.

Tonight I was laying on the couch and he wanted up. He layed on me a minute then started crawling around on me. Then all of a sudden he bit my leg. I had on pants but he still broke through my skin. I was so shocked and it hurt so bad. I started yelling I put him on the floor and he immediatley started crying. I know I should have picked him up, but I was so upset. Finally he went over to his dad to be held.

I know that I shouldn't have yelled at him and I should have held him and told him I am sorry for scaring him. But I am sooo tired of him biting me. I don't know what to do. Most of the time I tell him that it hurts mommy when he bites. And that I don't want to play with him if he bites me. But he just doesn't get it.

But tonight I lost my cool and now I feel bad. I usually try so hard to stay calm and not react. I think I am just having a bad day and that bite was just the straw that broke the camels back.
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#2 of 9 Old 02-11-2004, 03:02 AM
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Hey mama

Just relax, you're not bad mama. My dd bit the life out of me, I got upset. When she was 13 months she almost bit my nipple off, and let me tell you how much that hurts. I had to lather the thing with Lanolin and keep it covered with a bandage for a week AND nurse her on the broken nipple daily anyway. Talk about resentment! I know the knee jerk reaction that comes.

Biting is no fun and all of us mamas really struggle to not lash out back at the baby. It seems so mean of them to do it and then we realize they don't even know how much it hurts us - they really don't.

Take it easy on yourself. We all crack when our toddlers hurt us sometimes. It really hurts, and it's not fun.
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#3 of 9 Old 02-11-2004, 03:46 AM
 
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ITA with Oatmeal.

Relax. Your reaction is totally understandable.

If you think his teeth hurt, have you tried Hyland's teething tablets?
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#4 of 9 Old 02-11-2004, 04:15 AM
 
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It happens sometimes. We try very hard not to but it is hard to supress what is instinctual when we are hurt.

Can I ask a question? Do you play with ds like you are biting him? I'm gonna eat you up type games? About a year ago I did with ds and he started biting. I stopped playing the games, stressed to him every time he bit or tried to bite that it hurt and I could not play with him if he was trying to bite me. Lately I began playing biting games with him, thinking he would understand the difference between playful bite and hurtful bite. He still doesn't. So biting play is out. As cute as those little noses and toes are you just have to supress the urge to eat em up.
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#5 of 9 Old 02-11-2004, 04:50 AM
 
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Just some thoughts

Sometimes all a kid needs is a strong and very hurt reaction from the hurt to stop biting. Many times extreme faces can do the trick if the owie is not as bad as yours. I think you reacted in the only way you could and I hope it will stop the biting.

That urge some of us get to love bite those cute toes, butts, tummy's, thighs and arms may be just the same for our little ones. Only they have to learn to control it.

I'm sorry momma. I send you healing thoughts. I hope he will stop. You are not a bad mom.

Mommy to Ryah 12, Reanna 11, Parker 6 and Cooper 3 months
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#6 of 9 Old 02-11-2004, 02:12 PM
 
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I think you reacted appropriately. I would consider someone yelling and jumping up a natural consequence of biting them. I know what you mean about feeling bad that you scared him and made him cry, but I think it's important for him to learn that that is what can happen if you bite someone, whether you meant to hurt them or not.
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#7 of 9 Old 02-11-2004, 02:20 PM
 
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ITA with oceanbaby. Your reaction might be the only thing that will teach him that it's not okay to bite.
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#8 of 9 Old 02-11-2004, 03:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We do play love bites sometimes now that I think about it. But I think I give kisses more. The thing is dh play bites him and Zane doesn't bite his dad, he only bites me. I will talk with dh tonight and then we will try to stop the play biting.

Thanks mamas I am feeling much better about it this morning.
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#9 of 9 Old 02-11-2004, 04:47 PM
 
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zanymom-Take a deep breath. Try hard to realize that you are human. This acknowledgement has been a big one for me as a first-time mom. I thought I had to be super human, never get angry or frustrated or tired.

But biting HURTS. My DS (2) went thru a biting stage. It is now over. I yelled more times than I want to admit, but pain puts me over the edge. I always apologized for it, but also acknowledged that I was angry.

Try to go easy on yourself. It's one thing to feel guilty, yes, we all have reactions that we aren't proud of sometimes or that we just feel that we could do better. But try to distinguish that from feeling like a bad mom. The bad mom thing doesn't get you anywhere. It's like a shame thing. It just doesn't work for anyone. Just do your best, and when you don't, acknowledge it to you child and yourself and move on.
Best of luck to you.
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