Starting Potty Training my DD...And color me CLUELESS!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 10-24-2009, 05:08 AM - Thread Starter
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Umm......Help? For Christmas this year, we are buying DD a potty seat and pull ups and big girl panties. (Among other toys and essential play items) and we are beginning potty training at the start of the new year. She is 19 months old, almost 20 months old.

Only...I'm completely clueless as to how this process even works. Do I just...Sit her on it and hope for the best? How do I teach her that she needs to go? Like, the feelings of needing to go? How do I teach her that when she gets these feelings, she needs to go THERE?

I know not to shame or scold her for accidents (not that I would anyway for anything else) but beyond that...Clueless.

Any websites/literature/blogs/personal experience/dos and don'ts would be greatly appreciated!!

~ Erinn ~ I believe in the power of a good conversation, a good book, a good cup of coffee, a good glass of wine, and a good nap.  Not necessarily in that order. 
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#2 of 10 Old 10-24-2009, 10:50 AM
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Here's what we did.

1. Watched potty learning DVDs for the last 6? 8?months. DD knows what the potty is and has the general concepts down complete with song lyrics. There are dvd reviews here. We really like Elmo's Potty Time (very respectful and gentle, great music) but DD loves Go Potty Go (slightly irritating and talks about diapers are for babies).

We often had DD watch the DVDs naked with the potty available for sitting so she could copy what she saw on the screen.

2.Bought 2 pottys because the one we started with had a 'bump' that didn't allow DD to just sit, she had to be sure to get over the bump. Since a fall on delicate areas can completely destroy potty learning, we got a potty seat that is a normal seat, she can just sit.

3.Talked a lot about how she was too big for diapers.Her diapers hurt her. Showed her the welts from her diapers.

4.Put stuffed animals on her potty and enacted involved pretend play sequences where they used the potty.

5.Said diapers are 'yuck' which was not what I wanted to do, but ironically seemed to be a major turning point for DD.

6. Brought potty into bathroom with mommy and daddy whenever we had to go.

7.Made sitting on the potty fun. We sang songs, read books, colored, ate chocolate.

8. Emphasized that going potty was DD's success anytime she did go potty. YOU used the potty. YOU put your pee-pee in the potty. Wow! YOU know how to use the potty!

9. Offered the potty constantly but never forced. Bribed, yes, but never forced.

10. Accidents happen. DD peed all over the place. We just cleaned it up with a 'pee pee goes in the potty, looks like your pee pee got lost, but that's okay!'

11. Spent an entire week working on potty learning. If nothing happened, we decided we would back off. However, while things looked dire early on, as of yesterday we have caught ALL pees in the potty and DD is sitting and going very quickly--no need to draw out the time. So hopefully we are one our way.

Good luck momma! HTH


Happy Momma to DD (almost 3) Fall Coleslaw -- Simple Italian Stuffed Peppers -- - Fall Toddler Activities.- We Made a Play Kitchen Selling gently used books on all topics here.
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#3 of 10 Old 10-24-2009, 01:42 PM
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I am tuning back in for this too. My oldest (now 10yo) was about 2.5 maybe??, and we had a book about a little girl that ditches diapers for panties. She was old enough that she got the whole potty concept. One day she said, Mommy, I want big girl panties. We bought them and she just started going! Maybe 1-2 accidents ever. She was dry at night from almost 3yo forward.

This time (DD is a couple weeks shy of 2yo), she seems really interested some of the time, and not at all the rest of the time. If it is top of mind, she loves to sit and go. If she is busy, she will be 6 pees deep and not care.
I think my plan is to just wait and let her potty train herself like with DD1, lol.

Admittedly, I am not a good potty learner and find that while maybe the lazy way, it was very unstressful for both DD1 and I the first time.
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#4 of 10 Old 10-24-2009, 08:11 PM
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We started almost by accidents after many mornings of diaper blowouts because DS doesn't pee in the night anymore. Scheduling sitting on the potty really help us a bit (a la diaper free by age 3) although I read the book after we started. We just new the pee flood was coming 5-10 minutes after we woke followed by an unholly daily poop. Timing is everything.

Within a week or two we would stick on the little bjorn by his play mat every two hours or so. He loves to sit there and read stories or play puzzles. Often sits there as just a play time. Sometimes he goes a quick potty and just pees and resumes.

It is helpful to spend some naked time.

He liked potty stories for awhile. No recs- they are all terrible but got the message through. Bear likes to go potty too. Sometimes he likes to go on the big potty with the bjorn insert but mostly the little potty. We had two to scatter around the house. Both are really well designed.

We haven't made the switch to underpants yet but we use gdiapers with a very lame cotton/hemp insert as defacto training pants. If he pees in them he'll wet his pants but a poop gets contained. We use real diapers when we are out. Mostly, the training pants are for me to remember to potty him. Working pretty well.

If we are going to be out of the house for awhile I'll throw the bjorn insert in the bag. Some public toilets are huge and it really takes the fuss out of a public restroom.

We're actually having a very easy time of it probably as a result of age and temperament.
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#5 of 10 Old 10-24-2009, 11:17 PM
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I started with DD around 14 months with poops, because she was so obvious she was about to go. We read a lot of potty books (agreed - I don't like any of them but some are better than others -- the Dr. Sears one is the best so far, I think). I explained what I was doing when using the bathroom. She would poop on the toilet if I scooped her up and put her there, and from that it progressed to peeing. If she was dry after a nap or in the morning (which was often, she'd been dry at night from about 4 months most of the time), she'd go immediately to the toilet and would usually pee, to much hooraying and 'yay pee!'. Outside she'd pee on the deck or grass and tell me "Yay pee!" ...well, not so much, but at least she was acknowledging what she was doing!

She spent a lot of the spring and summer naked, or at least bottomless, outside and then inside on our hard floors. The transition came around 17 months when our 18 month old neighbour came over, saw the potty on the deck, and wanted to sit on it. From that moment on DD was all about the potty. So I bought several $3 IKEA potties, put them everywhere (including in the van whenever we went anywhere), kept her bottomless, and put her on it often. One day I stopped prompting, just to see, and she did it. She held it way longer than when I was constantly asking and reminding, and we have had very few accidents. The only time we have had predictable accidents was upon arrival at Gramma & Grampa's house -- 5 pees in a row on the floor -- and I think 2 in the car seat, which thankfully was lined. She's been dry at night and at naps since 19 months, and two weeks ago I finally took the diapers off at night and she's in underwear all the time.

It was a long, casual, stress-free process. She still loves to read the potty books, sometimes puts her little toy mouse on it (Mousie doing a pee, no poop, just pee). Now at 21 months she goes about 2 hours without peeing, and is now able to take her own pants and underwear off/down and get on and off the potty herself. Sometimes she won't poop on the big toilet with the insert, but if I put her on the potty she'll go right away.

The unexpected hard part about this process? Finding size 2 toddler underwear that fit her. They're elusive.
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#6 of 10 Old 10-24-2009, 11:24 PM
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I would suggest getting cloth/cotton training pants over pullups- she will feel if she has peed, and it won't feel like a diaper, it will be more like a "panty"... also mother-ease has an overnight reusable training pant.... Can help to be a transition to something new- less messy than panties, but different than diapers.
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#7 of 10 Old 11-03-2009, 06:09 PM
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So glad I found this post! We are also going to start potty training and I am lost. Great idea about the poopy! We have been saying you go to the Potty to pee pee. But other than that, we are like uh?!

Any suggestions on a good potty or seat to buy? My cousin used one that sang or something when she flushed but I think DD will just play with it to make it sing. lol

Mom to Ashlee - Preemie born at 29 weeks; she is very healthy now at 18mths!
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#8 of 10 Old 11-03-2009, 06:26 PM
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DD2 just turned 19 months and started potty training a couple of days ago.

It happened the same way as with dd1.

We bought a potty to have on hand and when they started taking there own diapers off after peeing we let them run around naked. Put them on the potty once or twice told them to pee (they didn't). Then if they peed on the floor we tell them to pee in the potty with more reminders to pee in the potty periodically.

Both kids caught on by pretty quickly (dd2 by day 2). The first success was completely on their own, no reminder from me, they just went and did it.

We made a big deal about them peeing the potty. We clap and smile and congratulate them, let them take the potty to the toilet to dump it, wipe and flush. They get all happy and proud of themselves and that's it.

DD1 was out of diapers (during the day, at home) at 20 months. She dropped diapers while out a couple months later and by 25 months she stopped peeing in her night diaper and has been diaper free ever since.

Pull ups were useless for us for dd1 because she couldn't get them off (or couldn't be bothered to take them off) and would just pee in them.
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#9 of 10 Old 11-05-2009, 01:39 AM
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I recommend getting a white potty, that way they can see what they have done. DD always has to admire her work and gets very excited about what is in the potty. I prefer the one piece potties. We got the kind with a removable bowl first. DD preferred to wear the bowl like a hat while sitting on the chair sans bowl and peeing on the floor. It took us a few weeks to finally decided to get the small babybjorn potties. Ikea also makes similar potties, which we probably would have gotten if we lived closer to an Ikea store. I also sit her backwards on the toilet , holding the tank, or she can pee in the shower if somebody else is using the toilet.

DD has been very consistent about using the potty during naked time for about 3 weeks now. For her the turning point was when I sat on the potty chair and used it. She was 23 mo and at the age where she copies everything I do. She got very excited about the toilet paper and had to try it immediately after me. I gave her TP when she was done. She asks for TP other times, but I tell her it is only for after using the potty.
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#10 of 10 Old 11-05-2009, 02:57 AM
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Avoid pull ups unless it is for naps and night time only. We just used diapers to save money. Pull ups are twice as much as reg. dipes.

Buy cotton training pants. They can really tell when they go pee pee. My dd had two accidents at first and then realized that pee pee goes in the potty or else it runs down my leg. She didn't like that. On day one she got the concept to go in the potty.

To celebrate, I kept bubbles in the bathroom and we blew bubbles only if pee pee or poo poo went in the potty.

Use dolls to show going to the potty.

Go to another toddlers house and watch them go potty. This is what caused dd to want to go on the big potty. She was only nineteen months and I didn't want to start potty training. She insisted. Every, and I mean Every, dipe change she wanted to sit on the potty because she saw her older friends do it.

I can't stress enough to avoid the pull ups. I think they become a crutch and prolong the whole ordeal.

DH, and Me plus baby girl (10/07)
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