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I feel your pain - it is so, so hard to deal with non-sleeping children of any age. My dd was a good co-sleeper until about 18 months. We spent the next year trying to figure it out, and it's only since I got pregnant (19 weeks along) that we really stuck with something long enough to make it work.
Consistency is a big thing, and a lot depends on the personality of your child. What I did was hire Mary Kucinka (she wrote Sleepless in America) for a one-hour long phone consultation, and while it was expensive, it was well worth it. She gave me very, very particular advice for my daughter, and it took about three weeks of hard work, but it did work. It didn't involve any crying either, which was important to me. DD still isn't the world's best sleeper, but she is a MILLION times better. It really saved my sanity. A consistent bedtime routine was part of it, but Mary gave us a consistent schedule for the whole day that really, really helped.
Thanks, Violet, for the advice.
I did notice that when we night weaned she was realllly mad for about 2 nights then Much better. I agree she needs to learn to sttn. She is just such an interesting case to me. From age 5-7 months she slept 11 hr night outta nowhere. Then bam, back to every two hour waking. THen a mess until age 18 months. For two weeks she only woke once. THen bam, back to alll the time. Last month outta no where she slept 8pm to 5am for 7 days. Now, up 4x night. There is just no rhyme of reason. We have analyzed every variable regarding environment and such, but I think it is simple conditioning.
Unfortunately she could climb from her crib by about 16 months, so that was never really an option for us.
I really am dumbfounded in general that she doesnt cosleep well. I coslept with my folks, so did my brother, then my first DD. I always just thought that was how it went until this one came along. She challenges all of my parenting know-it-all.
Sounds like you have a good plan. The only thing I would add is to set up her day... ie at about the same time every day, do the same thing. This really helps.
Here is our day, roughly:
7-9 ish at home, eating breakfast, walking dogs, showering, etc
9ish - 12 Playgroup, Music class, storytime, playground- ie a different activity every day that involves lots of playing, running and outdoor time.
12- 12:30 lunch
3-5 playground or walk outside, play in the yard, etc
6-7 inside play
7pm bath, brush teeth, read books, 8pm lights off, sing songs and then mommy or daddy goes to the kitchen to "clean up" (this took about 3 months to establish that we were not laying w/ her anymore. a real process, but worth it!!)
I also think that a call to Kurcinka might be worth your $$$ !!!!
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