I cannot handle my toddler anymore!! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 41 Old 11-20-2009, 09:44 PM
 
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It's been one of those days (weeks) here too. My 19 mo is in a phase where he likes to take mouthfuls of food or drink (or BM even) and spit them every where sprinkler style. I've cleaned more this week than I thought I would in a whole life time.

I know this sounds dramatic - but to bring myself back down to the ground when I feel myself getting mean... I think about all the parents who lost a child and would give anything to be cleaning rice krispies off their walls. Oprah did an episode about missing children, and just face after face of missing babies, toddlers (and older children) scrolled down the screen. So today when he kicked me in the wrist while I tried to put his shoes on I pictured those faces and TRYED to be thankful I have him.

I told you it was dramatic - but it works for me. (sometimes)
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#32 of 41 Old 11-20-2009, 09:58 PM
 
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My three-year-old is like this. Oh. my. goodness.

Hold On To Your Kids is a great all-encompassing parenting book. so is Raising Our Kids Raising Ourselves. But I am no saint, myself. I just do my best. sometimes I lose my temper. Sometimes I have just had it. Sigh.

Anyway, I wanted to mention that one thing that really really makes a difference for some kids is food allergies or intolerances. My son is allergic to dairy and wheat and we had recently tried reintroducing some of each and each time it made his behavior AWFUL. Ugh. Also, he has to be on a sugar-free diet, too, or else he gets crazy. So, something to consider.

Oh, and no, the second one is not necessarily easier. Our first son was an angel as a toddler. Our second son is . . . very strong-willed and aggressive and assertive. Lol. We shall see how the third one goes . . .


♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

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#33 of 41 Old 11-20-2009, 10:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by LionTigerBear View Post
Anyway, I wanted to mention that one thing that really really makes a difference for some kids is food allergies or intolerances. My son is allergic to dairy and wheat and we had recently tried reintroducing some of each and each time it made his behavior AWFUL. Ugh. Also, he has to be on a sugar-free diet, too, or else he gets crazy. So, something to consider.
Yes, this. Not for my own DD, but for one of her little friends. Sugar and preservatives affect her pretty severely... not sure what else does.

Andrea , child of God, wife of Tim , mama of L, B, J, J

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#34 of 41 Old 11-21-2009, 12:54 AM
 
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Second the rec for Your Three Year Old. The authors are Ames and Ilg, and I have appreciated every book in the series.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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#35 of 41 Old 11-21-2009, 02:35 PM
 
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When I dropped DS off at preschool today, he was SO independent. He's usually fine, but always likes that I'm there, but today he was off and running and one of the teachers told me afterward, "He had a really independent day today!" so we're going through something! And it's cool that he's learning so much and feeling so big and powerful, but man, I can't do it 24-7!

About books - I am looking for these three at my local used book shop...

The Emotional Life of the Toddler
The Magic Years
Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting

I can't tell if just one of these books will do it for me, so I'd like to read all three. That last one is a book about being zen in the face of parenting and I could definitely use a pep talk about being in the moment and breathing

I saw a review on Amazon for the Emotional Life of the Toddler and although the writer is AP-minded, I guess there's a section on sleep and the lady dismisses co-sleeping, which is a bummer. We don't co-sleep with DS anymore (so thankful - I need some kind of break!), but it makes me raise an eyebrow that the author doesn't see it's worth. But I can always just skip that chapter.
I have The Emotional Life of a Toddler--it's a nice book but not, imo/ime, very useful. More theory, less practice.

I also have Everyday Blessings I believe, too spiritual for me. I couldn't slog through the text. I liked Momma Zen better, more readable and she admits to being human. She also has a blog.

I should re-read it. I first read it when DD was still an infant and I could read while she nursed. Ahh those were the days.

V

Happy Momma to DD (almost 3) Fall Coleslaw -- Simple Italian Stuffed Peppers -- - Fall Toddler Activities.- We Made a Play Kitchen Selling gently used books on all topics here.
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#36 of 41 Old 11-21-2009, 09:54 PM
 
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Second the rec for Your Three Year Old. The authors are Ames and Ilg, and I have appreciated every book in the series.
Same.

I posted on here about a year and a half ago with a thread titled "does anyone else want to lock themselves in their bathroom, rather than dealing with their 3 yo?"

I got a lot of responses, and one was the suggestion for this book -- IT SAVED MY LIFE!!!! There is no advice in it, but the author explaines WHY kids act the way they do at that stage in their life. It was so nice to understand where he was coming from and it helped me realize that it was just a stage and that it would end.

I have a friend who h as two girls 7 & 4 and her and her dh are contemplating at thrid, but as she said to me "I want another baby, but I don't want another 3 year old".

I routinely felt as thought I was ruining my son OR creating at brat....there was never a win, most days were a struggle and I went to bed feeling like crap. Then, slowly it got better. I enrolled him in a respite program down the road (which the authors HIGHLY recommend) and he was able to have some time every week to play with friends and I got a break.

He's almost 5 now and our relationship gets better and better every day!

Hang in there (hugs)
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#37 of 41 Old 11-22-2009, 01:22 AM
 
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Is it easier the second time around in terms of being able to handle all this stuff?
The second time around it a whole new ball game- you, the parent are more expreienced to deal with it- but you get a new kid with a whole different presonality, so its a flip up.

Laura, Mama to Mya 7/02, Ian 6/07 and Anna 8/09
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#38 of 41 Old 11-22-2009, 07:45 PM
 
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My 19 mo is in a phase where he likes to take mouthfuls of food or drink (or BM even) and spit them every where sprinkler style.

Us too. My thought: you (DS) are a loved, cared-for baby who does NOT live in a 3rd world country. If you are choosing to spit food (or drink), you are DONE with that food or drink. You are not starving and there will be another meal, or a bedtime sippy if necessary.

End of story. No fuss, no bargaining. If one reminder to 'Chew your food' falls on deaf ears, that is the end.

Of course, for us this usually occurs at the end of the meal. If it's the beginning... you have to consider whether or not to go ahead with removing the food/drink. Sigh.
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#39 of 41 Old 11-22-2009, 09:08 PM
 
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My 2 1/2 yo dd is very trying in general. The constant tears, whining, crying, etc. I have no advice but wanted you to know that I get it!

In fact I'm glad I read your post today because just earlier I was wondering if other parents have to deal with the constant whining and crying like I do. It's enough to drive a person mad!


It's so good to know I'm not alone!

Brianna, mom to my always naked and singing Faye (9/07) and my chubby baby Bronwen (10/10).
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#40 of 41 Old 11-22-2009, 10:03 PM
 
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I love this thread. It's so the epitome of the phrase "misery loves company."

Things that are working right now:
Less TV
More outdoor time (so not looking forward to real winter weather soon!)
DD has turned into a cuddlebug (!!!) but it must be on HER terms and at HER initiation


Things that are not working:
She STILL doesn't get that she's not allowed to pick up the baby.
When she wants to play with something we have deemed an "outdoor toy" and she wants to play with it right.now. Problem being, it's after dark, we don't have our own yard, and/or she's in jammies. Huge tantrums.
She hasn't pooped in like 4 days. No idea why. She says her tummy feels fine, and there have beena couple "false alarms," but still, no poop. Is this a control issue? Is she purposefully holding it in? Do I make it worse by asking if she needs to go?
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#41 of 41 Old 11-23-2009, 12:33 PM
 
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I love this thread. It's so the epitome of the phrase "misery loves company."

Things that are working right now:
Less TV
More outdoor time (so not looking forward to real winter weather soon!)
DD has turned into a cuddlebug (!!!) but it must be on HER terms and at HER initiation


Things that are not working:
She STILL doesn't get that she's not allowed to pick up the baby.
When she wants to play with something we have deemed an "outdoor toy" and she wants to play with it right.now. Problem being, it's after dark, we don't have our own yard, and/or she's in jammies. Huge tantrums.
She hasn't pooped in like 4 days. No idea why. She says her tummy feels fine, and there have beena couple "false alarms," but still, no poop. Is this a control issue? Is she purposefully holding it in? Do I make it worse by asking if she needs to go?
Momma; Just a word to the wise, a I-wish-someone-had-told-me re: the poop holding. Get some of the little tummies stool softener asap. Target should have it. It will keep her poo soft and kind of prompt her along to eliminate.

The poop stuff is ALL about control at this age and they will hold it until they make themselves sick. Ask me how I know! I thought our ped was kind of weird b/c they kept pushing Miralax on me every time we saw them but now I understand. I see the light!

As for the clingy hugging on their terms, we have that too. I am sick of it. DD goes around the house whining 'hug? huuuug? huuuuuug?' She even does it when we are actually already hugging.

V

Happy Momma to DD (almost 3) Fall Coleslaw -- Simple Italian Stuffed Peppers -- - Fall Toddler Activities.- We Made a Play Kitchen Selling gently used books on all topics here.
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