MIL - No sugar for my Tot!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 12-01-2009, 01:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm sure I stuck this in the wrong place, I always seem to

My MIL, despite being asked not to, likes to give my very active 2 year old who has SPD sugary things. We see them maybe once or twice a month, and while that's not much, the behavior is increasing. We've seen them twice in the past 3 weeks and both times she has given him something she knows is not ok- Coke & a freezie pop. DS has major meltdowns after eating sugary things as well, making me more frustrated and angry at MIL. I am looking for some good, basic articles to send to her and FIL to educate them on why DS can not have sugary things. Can anyone help me with this?
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#2 of 12 Old 12-01-2009, 04:54 PM
 
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She's able to give him the sugary stuff with your supervision?
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#3 of 12 Old 12-01-2009, 05:07 PM
 
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Can you leave something at her place that is an 'approved sweet'? Like freeze dried strawberries or yummy earth candies or frozen fruit pops or something else that would still be a treat but they might just have no idea about finding. Tell them it's kiddo's new favorite treat.

IMO, I haven't found that giving out information has helped in a lot of cases like this (including ours). It'll help you to just keep a really normal attitude like 'of course, EVERYBODY knows you don't give sugary food to 2 year olds, duh!!' no matter what. And help them find better substitutes and (hopefully slowly) adjust their habits.

Yuck about the coke, I don't know how people don't think of soda (esp. caffeinated sodas!) as problematic for kids. I wouldn't want to deal with a 2 year old who'd had caffeinated soda at all.
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#4 of 12 Old 12-01-2009, 05:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You'd think it'd be common sense not to give coke to a toddler, but it's not in this situation. I didn't see the coke incident happen. We were in a group sitting at a long table. I was tending to DD, at the other end, DH was sitting next to her but was ordering. We both caught that at the same time. The popsicle happened at SILs house. Nephew is the same age as DS, and SIL started him on things like sweet tea around a year. SIL gave the first one to DS while I was nursing DD and didn't see it happen. I always ask before feeding a kid, even a family member, so I was kind of surprised. I caught MIL just after she handed it to DS. I was in another room talking to SIL.
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#5 of 12 Old 12-01-2009, 07:17 PM
 
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I just keep repeating, "Please don't give him anything. I'll take care of feeding him. Thanks, I got it covered...." Sorry it's such a struggle.
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#6 of 12 Old 12-01-2009, 07:29 PM
 
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Why is it so difficult for people to NOT give children what their parents don't want them to have? If mommy and daddy say no sweets then why can't other people (MIL's in particular) just follow what's asked of them.
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#7 of 12 Old 12-01-2009, 07:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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According to MIL they gave junk to DH (who has severe ADHD) even though the Drs said not to, and he's fine.
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#8 of 12 Old 12-01-2009, 08:03 PM
 
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She doesn't need information- she needs to respect your parenting decisions.
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#9 of 12 Old 12-01-2009, 08:10 PM
 
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If I had someone in my life who was undermining my parenting decisions, that person would not be allowed to be alone with my child. I would flat out tell your mother that if she can't respect that, then she doesn't need to see your child.
I have a dd who is very active and has some allergies, messing with her diet is not something I'm tolerant of!

Trying to balance a preschooler and peace....
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#10 of 12 Old 12-02-2009, 12:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, that's a whole other topic. That respect thing has been a struggle for a long time. I'm not super crunchy, but enough to be able to join here and that is so fare from any 'norm' in her area. She's almost 2 hours from us, so we don't see her often, maybe 1 or 2 times a month, but it's just been more often lately due to both kids' birthdays and the holidays.

I've never left him with her, but with his activity level, I'd love to just be able to sit back and relax. Unfortunately that's not possible at her house.
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#11 of 12 Old 12-02-2009, 02:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prothyraia View Post
She doesn't need information- she needs to respect your parenting decisions.
I agree. I'm sure my MIL thinks I'm a horrible person, but DD is my daughter not hers and I make the rules. They can follow them or not spend time with her. It's that simple with me.

Deadra, Wife to Adam , Mama to Beatrix (02/08), Hudson (01/10), and Mazarine (12/13)
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#12 of 12 Old 12-02-2009, 03:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So how does it work with your DH? Does he address his mother on issues that come up or do you? DH says he feels like he is stuck in the middle, in general not just this subject, because there have been so many issues, not even related to our kids. He said he is tired of fighting and thinks we should let it go since we don't see them often.
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