My MIL and her partner live right next door to us, so they get to see our 21mo DD just about everyday. We really want our DD to have a relationship with her grandma (older, with her health not so great), but her partner (who has never had any kids, and is also quite a bit younger) seems to have grown a bit too attached to her, in our opinion.
He will not seek her out, and come to our house to play with her, but when he is in her presence, he will often hold her in his arms or keep her on his laps at times when she should simply be walking around. He'll be blowing kisses at her in a way that creeps me out. This may seem a bit harmless, but when you see it on a regular basis, it just seems too much... A few weeks ago, when we left our DD with him and grandma for 30mins or so, when we got back to pick her up, she was playing on the bed with him laying on the bed, grandma next to the bed (note that they live in a studio, so the bed is in the main room). We felt that was totally inappropriate to have her on a bed next to a grown man (other than her dad, of course!).
Of course, our DD is lapping up the attention from him, and now goes straight for his laps when he shows up... Of course, it makes me cringe. We already no longer leave her alone with them when visiting. Yesterday, my DP told him to not be so physical with her, but that didn't go too well... We haven't spoken to him since then.
Now, I don't want to insinuate that he is a child molester... I haven't seen any indication of that. I think he's just clueless (note that he also gave me a couple books on parenting for Xmas; this from a man who has never had kids!! This wasn't done in a mean way, just in a clueless way, as he is always kind, helpful and well-intended). We simply think that he is a bit too attached to her, in a way that is unhealthy, in our opinion.
Are we overreacting?
He will not seek her out, and come to our house to play with her, but when he is in her presence, he will often hold her in his arms or keep her on his laps at times when she should simply be walking around. He'll be blowing kisses at her in a way that creeps me out. This may seem a bit harmless, but when you see it on a regular basis, it just seems too much... A few weeks ago, when we left our DD with him and grandma for 30mins or so, when we got back to pick her up, she was playing on the bed with him laying on the bed, grandma next to the bed (note that they live in a studio, so the bed is in the main room). We felt that was totally inappropriate to have her on a bed next to a grown man (other than her dad, of course!).
Of course, our DD is lapping up the attention from him, and now goes straight for his laps when he shows up... Of course, it makes me cringe. We already no longer leave her alone with them when visiting. Yesterday, my DP told him to not be so physical with her, but that didn't go too well... We haven't spoken to him since then.
Now, I don't want to insinuate that he is a child molester... I haven't seen any indication of that. I think he's just clueless (note that he also gave me a couple books on parenting for Xmas; this from a man who has never had kids!! This wasn't done in a mean way, just in a clueless way, as he is always kind, helpful and well-intended). We simply think that he is a bit too attached to her, in a way that is unhealthy, in our opinion.
Are we overreacting?