Daughter won't leave me alone. Please help. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 01-11-2010, 02:21 AM - Thread Starter
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Hello. I don't always feel this way but my husband's been working nightshifts. Daughter is 17 months. So I have her all night and all afternoon till he wakes. Then either I'm off to work or he is. I need to study, cook, clean exist and all I hear is Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.

She asks (signs) for this, that, this and that. (Eat, light,open, up, nurse, down, water) etc. etc. Anything to keep me involved . I pay loads of attention during the day but come night time my patience is wearing thin.

What do I do? Should I ignore her continual requests? If she cries do I let her cry? I'm having visions of myself exploding. I try praising her when she is playing by herself and I'm trying to hide my irritation. How much do I have to cater to this?
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#2 of 8 Old 01-11-2010, 01:53 PM
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It sounds like you need a day or even a couple of hours at a time for you. Is there someone who can come over to help you out for a couple of hours or is there someone you can trust so you can go get fresh air or go for a walk? I wish I had more advice to offer.
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#3 of 8 Old 01-11-2010, 03:00 PM
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I can hardly get anything done with my 20 mo. old ds when I am watching him--so hard to cook, unload dishes, etc! How do you feel about letting dd watch a short video now and then so you get a break? I know baby einstein is not popular, but they have world animal videos which seems pretty benign, for ex. Sometimes having ds. up at my level playing with spoons and cups for ex while I am getting dinner ready (having him play at the counter) helps me get some time. I imagine it is a stage--she is clinging to you because so much new is going on and she is starting to venture out, but also wants to hang tight. Anyway, just wanted to sympathize--if my husband watches ds for a few hours and I come back, he won't let me out of his sight!
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#4 of 8 Old 01-11-2010, 04:26 PM - Thread Starter
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Thank you for replying. Last night was particulary hard. After a couple hours of straight sleep, I'm feeling a bit more sane.

Sometimes,I get so annoyed I imagine myself pushing her away or worse. I know she's not doing anything wrong but it's hard not to feel anger. (I'm working on it though).

I just don't know how often I'm supposed to cater to requests and how long she should be able to wait. I've got the Happiest Toddler on the Block book and Playful Parenting, so I figure she's not supposed to be patient yet. But geez, what a try to our patience.
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#5 of 8 Old 01-11-2010, 04:29 PM
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DD's doing that too. We recently hired a babysitter to come in a few times per week so I could get some work done and afterwards DD is very clingy. She won't even let me go to the bathroom to pee without throwing a tantrum.

When the babysitter is her she cries sometimes because she has a lot of separation anxiety. We've found it's best to try and bring out a toy just when she's here and get them distracted while I leave the room. She still cries a bit but she's getting better so if you do get anyone to help out I'd suggest doing something similar. We're 2 weeks into it and it's still not completely smooth but it's getting better.

Otherwise, I do try and work with DD on independent play. I'll get her working on something and then fade into the background with a book or something. Somedays it works better than others.
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#6 of 8 Old 01-11-2010, 05:10 PM
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I also have to do videos for my sanity. DS, 20 mnths won't leave me alone hardly ever. I actually think it has less to do with having separation anxiety and more with her being bored. When we go out somewhere, he has no problems and the same is true when we have play dates over. Maybe you could try going out with him more and see if that helps at all, it certainly does for us. And it helps when I get out of the house also. Good Luck!

Happy Wifey to DH tiphat.gifand loving Momma to DS1 superhero.gif 4yrs and DS2  babyboy.gif 6 months

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#7 of 8 Old 01-11-2010, 07:48 PM
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My daughter has always been a "needy" one. She wants me all the time. It's better now at 2.5, but there are still days where she needs me all the time. I've found if I really fill her up with attention, something she really enjoys, then she will play on her own for awhile. Also, when she was younger I found the busier I was the more she just sort of hovered happily around me instead of wanting me. Of course that doesn't help much when you just need to sit and rest! There are days that if it weren't for my DH coming home and giving me a couple or hours I would go crazy.

SAHM to DD (May/07) and DS (Jan/10)
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#8 of 8 Old 01-11-2010, 10:03 PM
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My 19 month old gets clingier as the day goes on so making dinner is awful. I have learned that if she is just having a tough day I ask her if she needs cuddles and if she is ok with cuddling on my back. I put her in the Ergo and I go about my business. By the end of what I need to do I'm tired and sore, but she's cheerful and her 'cup' is full so she generally will give me a few minutes of rest after I wear her for an hour or so. She just desperately needs that contact.

I keep telling myself that this too shall pass and when she's a teenager I'm going to be very sad that she doesn't want my company anymore so I better enjoy it while I can.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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