1 year old WANTS things SO badly - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 15 Old 03-03-2010, 05:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
kfillmore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Honolulu, HI
Posts: 669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I thought it was tough before but now DD wants things-all sorts of things SOOOO badly. She wants thing she sees and cries hard if she can't have them. The other day we were parked in the car and someone walked by with a plastic water bottle. She wanted it and cried. Usually it is things at home or maybe a store. Is this a typical stage?
kfillmore is offline  
#2 of 15 Old 03-03-2010, 06:01 PM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,779
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We're still going through it here. And it's gotten worse.

Distractions help, but it's soooo hard to think of something else to offer when she's screaming and she's just as likely to take whatever else we offer and throw it on the floor instead.

Being sick, tired, hungry, or thirsty makes it worse, by the way.
sapphire_chan is offline  
#3 of 15 Old 03-03-2010, 06:15 PM
 
pbjmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 3,211
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, it is normal.
pbjmama is offline  
#4 of 15 Old 03-03-2010, 06:37 PM
 
elmh23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Where it's hot!
Posts: 9,359
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Normal. My son is newly three and still does it at least once a day. My daughter had outgrown it by this stage, but I think ds's speech delay is causing his to continue. It really sucks, but yes, eventually the outgrow it! (And actually, it just turns in to them telling you they want x with words, sometimes without tears!)

Mama of three.
 
elmh23 is offline  
#5 of 15 Old 03-03-2010, 09:00 PM
 
faithsstuff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 538
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
if you find an answer I will pay you any amount of money for it. 14 month old ds has mastered the brain bursting shriek from hell.
faithsstuff is offline  
#6 of 15 Old 03-03-2010, 11:16 PM
 
NicaG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Northern NJ
Posts: 1,733
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dd is 17 months old and tantrums every time she can't have something she wants. It's making me a little crazy! Especially in regards to food--she wants to try everything I eat, and everything her big brother eats, and sometimes it's just something she can't have (choking risk, etc.). If she spots a box of cookies, she will scream for 20 minutes (I don't think her older brother ate a cookie until he was about 2.5.) I am hoping this phase doesn't last long!

lady.gif mama to H. 4/05 and A. 9/08 and baby C. 10/11

NicaG is offline  
#7 of 15 Old 03-03-2010, 11:32 PM
 
boringscreenname's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 265
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS is 18 months old and the same way in regards to food. I will go and get something from the kitchen, then he sees me with it, and crawls over as fast as he can while crying and whining. Then he pulls himself up to me, flashes me a big grin, and asks for a bite.

He gets so mad when I won't let him have certain foods either. And he also gets mad if I get up to throw an empty box away, put an empty bowl in the sink etc...
boringscreenname is offline  
#8 of 15 Old 03-04-2010, 12:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
kfillmore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Honolulu, HI
Posts: 669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I am afraid of making her feel...unsatisfied. I don't really mean in that moment. I am not sure that is even the right word. I don't want her to unfulfilled/unsatisfied (desperate?) on a deeper level.

I also don't want to begin that horrible slope to lack of dicipline (no means no etc)
kfillmore is offline  
#9 of 15 Old 03-04-2010, 01:13 AM
 
asoulunbound's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 730
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't want to sound dumb... but what do I do if it's something she can't or shouldn't have? DD is 16 months.
asoulunbound is offline  
#10 of 15 Old 03-04-2010, 03:45 PM
 
elmh23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Where it's hot!
Posts: 9,359
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I always just told them why they couldn't have x, and then held them as they screamed. Or gave them sympathy and let them scream on the floor (this was only when they were violent.) Either way, a kind tone goes a long way.

Mama of three.
 
elmh23 is offline  
#11 of 15 Old 03-04-2010, 03:52 PM
 
Llyra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: right here
Posts: 9,450
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
First, choose your battles. If she really CAN have it, you might want to say yes, even if it means a little hassle. But when she really just honestly can't, or it's something dangerous or unhealthy or just plain impossible, then I think the only thing to do is to be sympathetic, friendly, but unmoved. I say things like, "yes, you really want that, don't you? It looks like so much FUN. But we can't-- it belongs to the other boy. I know, I know, but we just can't." And then be a shoulder to cry on. If she loses control and needs to have a tantrum, allow her to have it, and be there when she's done to help talk through what happened.

Childhood is going to be full of these moments, as LOs learn about life's limitations. You can't give them everything they ask for, and if you did, they'd be horribly ungrateful for what they had. But you can teach them that 1. you honestly do understand and care how they feel, even when those feelings are negative, 2. you'll provide them with what they truly need, and 3. the world doesn't end if they don't get something they liked.

me knit.gif, he bikenew.gif, my three reading.gif, sleepytime.gif, and fairy.gif-- and the one we lost angel2.gif
Llyra is offline  
#12 of 15 Old 03-04-2010, 04:02 PM
 
AustinMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 896
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Llyra View Post

Childhood is going to be full of these moments, as LOs learn about life's limitations. You can't give them everything they ask for, and if you did, they'd be horribly ungrateful for what they had. But you can't teach them that 1. you honestly do understand and care how they feel, even when those feelings are negative, 2. you'll provide them with what they truly need, and 3. the world doesn't end if they don't get something they liked.
I agree. My son (now 19 months) was on a "phone" kick. Anything with buttons, calculators, remotes, phones, etc, he had to have if it was in the area. This was everyone's too. At restaurants, he would cry for stranger's phones. I don't mind him playing with them, until, I was in the car, and he wanted my cell, and I gave it to him, and he dialed 911. Not ok, so I took it away, he screamed. If he plays with a phone for any amount of time, it becomes a week long thing of getting him to not throw a tantrum when he can't have one. So, we cut out phones. It sounds crappy, that we did, but I don't feel that type of addiction like desire is healthy, especially at 1, and I don't want him to think he can have whatever he wants. No, he probably won't understand "that's not mine, I can't have it" now, but I can lay the ground work for him understanding that at 3 or so.

But, if you do find the solution to all, yes, I too will pay any amount of money for it!
AustinMom is offline  
#13 of 15 Old 03-04-2010, 10:15 PM
 
Amandala's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Montclair, NJ
Posts: 203
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This still happens to me.

Not my son, I mean, me.

Amandala is offline  
#14 of 15 Old 03-04-2010, 10:19 PM
 
claddaghmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,074
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amandala View Post
This still happens to me.

Not my son, I mean, me.



In the example given, though, could she have been thirsty?

Mama to expecting Babe 2
claddaghmom is offline  
#15 of 15 Old 03-04-2010, 10:25 PM
 
gagin37's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Warner Robins, GA
Posts: 758
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Llyra View Post
First, choose your battles. If she really CAN have it, you might want to say yes, even if it means a little hassle. But when she really just honestly can't, or it's something dangerous or unhealthy or just plain impossible, then I think the only thing to do is to be sympathetic, friendly, but unmoved. I say things like, "yes, you really want that, don't you? It looks like so much FUN. But we can't-- it belongs to the other boy. I know, I know, but we just can't." And then be a shoulder to cry on. If she loses control and needs to have a tantrum, allow her to have it, and be there when she's done to help talk through what happened.

Childhood is going to be full of these moments, as LOs learn about life's limitations. You can't give them everything they ask for, and if you did, they'd be horribly ungrateful for what they had. But you can teach them that 1. you honestly do understand and care how they feel, even when those feelings are negative, 2. you'll provide them with what they truly need, and 3. the world doesn't end if they don't get something they liked.


ds is 18 months and we go through it all day every everyday. Lately it's been over the chicks we have in the house. I'll be so glad when they are big enough to move outside.

Claire, mommy to Robbie (8/23/08) and Brena (4-22-11) and wifey to Joe
 
 
gagin37 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off