Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Honolulu, HI
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mama to H. 4/05 and A. 9/08 and baby C. 10/11
Childhood is going to be full of these moments, as LOs learn about life's limitations. You can't give them everything they ask for, and if you did, they'd be horribly ungrateful for what they had. But you can't teach them that 1. you honestly do understand and care how they feel, even when those feelings are negative, 2. you'll provide them with what they truly need, and 3. the world doesn't end if they don't get something they liked.
First, choose your battles. If she really CAN have it, you might want to say yes, even if it means a little hassle. But when she really just honestly can't, or it's something dangerous or unhealthy or just plain impossible, then I think the only thing to do is to be sympathetic, friendly, but unmoved. I say things like, "yes, you really want that, don't you? It looks like so much FUN. But we can't-- it belongs to the other boy. I know, I know, but we just can't." And then be a shoulder to cry on. If she loses control and needs to have a tantrum, allow her to have it, and be there when she's done to help talk through what happened.
Childhood is going to be full of these moments, as LOs learn about life's limitations. You can't give them everything they ask for, and if you did, they'd be horribly ungrateful for what they had. But you can teach them that 1. you honestly do understand and care how they feel, even when those feelings are negative, 2. you'll provide them with what they truly need, and 3. the world doesn't end if they don't get something they liked.
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