'etiquette' questions - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 04-09-2010, 06:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I guess that's what you'd call it!!

Is there an age where it's inappropriate to change your child's diaper in public? (I'm talking like... on the ground beside the playground, on the couch when visiting people, something like that).

Also, speaking of playgrounds, is it acceptable to play on a school playground when school is in session? I started thinking how weird I would feel if some random person was hanging out outside my kid's school for an hour...

And if you bring a peanut butter sandwich to a lunch date, should you ask everyone present if they have any peanut allergies before digging in?

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#2 of 18 Old 04-09-2010, 06:14 PM
 
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Yes, no, and yes.

Diaper changing... probably by the time they get to that wiggly stage and/or they are poopy. I still change my 16mo in my mils living room, but I wouldn't do it at the library.

I think the school would probably ask you to leave. Around here you are not allowed on school property at all during school hours unless you are signed in at the office. We save the school playground for summer time since we are homeschoolers.

Yes, some kids are sensitive enough that even the smell can set them off.
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#3 of 18 Old 04-09-2010, 09:32 PM
 
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Ha, funny you ask - I had to change a poopy diaper at a chilly playground this morning and the only place was on top of a picnic table. I felt dreadful! I did not have our travel changing table with us or would have done it on that, somewhere more discreet. Unfortunately, the floor was damp so I couldn't do it there either. I felt parents boring holes in my back

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#4 of 18 Old 04-09-2010, 09:51 PM
 
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Unfortunately, the floor was damp so I couldn't do it there either. I felt parents boring holes in my back
Considering birds poop on those tables, a baby being changed on it wouldn't have phased me.
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#5 of 18 Old 04-09-2010, 11:33 PM
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I change in our car trunk if there's no where else to do it.
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#6 of 18 Old 04-10-2010, 12:38 AM
 
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I guess I have pretty much always taken my kids to a bathroom at most people's houses for diaper changing, no matter what age.....but keep in mind many of the people dh and I visit are not from USA culture and I don't see them change their *own* babies in their living rooms.

Most of my born-and-raised USA culture friends...I don't think anyone really has an 'age' about changing diapers, though I prefer floor to couch simply because of wiggly-ness and possible stains. (with a blanket or towel or diaper bag pad perhaps)

I don't know about the peanut thing.

I used to live across the street from a school and the only time the playground was *not* in use for more than a couple minutes at a time was from about 8-10 AM. they also had an after-school program, so it was in use till 6 PM. and here, most of the school year, it doesn't get warm enough you WANT to be out till about 10. So I'd say no to going to a school playground except on weekends or in summer.

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#7 of 18 Old 04-10-2010, 12:47 AM
 
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I change a lot of diapers in the front seat of the car. I think, regardless of age of the child, many people don't want to see/smell diaper changes, so unless it was people I knew well, or family (and I'd probably still ask first, like mind if I change him here?), I'd excuse myself to somewhere more distant... mainly a bathroom if there is one, or the car, or the grass far from people.

School playgrounds - I think they are off-limits during school hours, but it depends, I guess.

My kids don't eat PB&J sandwiches often, but yeah, I'd probably ask if it were a playgrouo type setting.

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#8 of 18 Old 04-10-2010, 01:19 AM
 
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I think I've only changed mine in public(aside from bathrooms) a few times each. I always felt weird and didn't like people watching lol. I definitely didn't do it after 7-8 mths, too wriggly for me.

We only play on school playgrounds on wkds or after school is out for the day. I wouldn't be comfortable with other parents/people out there while my child was playing. Not that YOU would do anything, but if one person is allowed, then what is going to stop the crazy/psycho person from doing it too and hurting a child?

Peanuts--I would ask. Then again, I have a severe peanut allergy and if anyone is eating anything remotely PB looking, then I ask them so I can avoid it, lol.

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#9 of 18 Old 04-10-2010, 01:30 AM
 
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i also think that as far as changing near the playground or whatever, that should probably stop when the child is at/near the age where most children are at least beginning to use the potty, (2-3) if you haven't already for wiggly-ness reasons. I guess part of that for me is just the beginnings of teaching some basic society rules about modesty--there are places we don't go around without clothes. Also just the association of elimination and the bathroom. And I think 2-3 is an age where they can start to understand some 'rules' (like where we change clothes in public) My 17 mo. old wouldn't 'understand' yet, my 3 y/o would be able to repeat back a 'rule' about "wait till you are IN the stall to pull down your pants..."

(I probably *won't* be changing DS next to the playground this summer simply because I'd rather not chase a half-naked toddler through the park if he got away!)

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#10 of 18 Old 04-10-2010, 01:38 AM
 
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I would say the picnic bench is by far preferable to the tabletop--that just grosses me out. Sure, birds poop there, but for the most part, bird droppings carry bird diseases...not nasty puking/pooping viruses.

Yes, it is most polite to change diapers discreetly, mostly after baby gets into the wiggly stage, but for a lot of people, diapering is best done with as much privacy as you can get.

Playing on the school grounds while school is in session--I think that's generally forbidden by school policy.

Peanut butter--it's really easy to say "We have peanutbutter sandwiches--everyone cool with that?"

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#11 of 18 Old 04-11-2010, 11:30 PM
 
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Hmm, interesting. When I saw your diaper question, the first thing I thought of was DD's comfort and not others around her. DD is very self aware (at 16 mo!) and really feel too self conscious if I changed her in front of people, especially strangers. At homes of relatives/friends, I bring her to a separate room (not a bathroom cuz not enough space usually) and change her on the floor. DD HATES public bathrooms!!!! She will scream murder and everyone stares at me like I'm doing something terrible to her. My guess is all the flushing noises and door banings etc. I usually change her in the trunk of my van where we have a nice cushy changing setup.

Playground - I usually go to a park playground, so not sure about schools. I thought they were for use only by students at the schools, no?

Allergies - yes I always ask moms, can xxx have yyy? DD has dairy allergy and I am always vigilant about what snacks are around her.

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#12 of 18 Old 04-12-2010, 09:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by MamaPhD View Post
Hmm, interesting. When I saw your diaper question, the first thing I thought of was DD's comfort and not others around her. DD is very self aware (at 16 mo!) and really feel too self conscious if I changed her in front of people, especially strangers. At homes of relatives/friends, I bring her to a separate room (not a bathroom cuz not enough space usually) and change her on the floor. DD HATES public bathrooms!!!! She will scream murder and everyone stares at me like I'm doing something terrible to her. My guess is all the flushing noises and door banings etc. I usually change her in the trunk of my van where we have a nice cushy changing setup.
This is EXACTLY what made me post this actually!! DS is usually quite calm & happy when I change his diaper (though HATES DH changing it) and when I changed him out in public the other day he went hysterical! He is only 14mos so I thought he wouldn't really care but I'm starting to think he understood in some way??? He's also started telling me "poop" when he needs to/just went, so I think he is definitely becoming more aware, but maybe I'm reading too much into it. Regardless, I think I'll just change him privately from now on!!!

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#13 of 18 Old 04-12-2010, 10:40 AM
 
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I do my best to change dd in private but you can't always help that, you know?

We use school playgrounds but always ask first... the teachers are always welcoming (probably different in different areas).

I never thought about the PB... I'll start asking!


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#14 of 18 Old 04-12-2010, 10:49 AM
 
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1. Yeah, I'd say so. I think once they're past that little infant stage, you need to go somewhere else, even if it's just a wet diaper. If it's poop, I'd leave the room no matter how young they are.

2. I wouldn't go to a school playground, period. If my child(ren) aren't in that school, I don't feel like I have a right to use it. We use the park playground.

3. I wouldn't pack peanut butter sandwiches! Err on the side of caution!

Good questions! HTH!

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#15 of 18 Old 04-12-2010, 10:16 PM
 
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I change dipes on the floor, this may change as he gets older, who knows

I wouldn't go to a playground while school is in. It's a safety thing to me. I wouldn't want strangers on my kids school grounds.

I probably wouldn't even bring a PB&J to a play date until I knew no one was allergic. I breathed on a guy after eating a peanut butter cookie once and he had trouble breathing. I used to tease him that I would eat one and kiss him if he acted up! People are really that allergic! I worked with a girl that you couldn't peel an orange in the same room with her. She is allergic to citrus and the spray from the peel would get to her!

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#16 of 18 Old 04-14-2010, 07:39 PM
 
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I'm not nearly as discreet about the diaper thing as many people but I long ago mastered the standing diaper change and it takes me ~30 seconds to complete a diaper change. Less if she's wearing a dress. I make sure she isn't facing anyone and I don't do it in super public places but on the side of the playground? Enh... I might.

Schools are off limits during school hours. That's the law.

We eat tons of peanut butter but I try to keep it in the house because I don't trust her not to go touch someone.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#17 of 18 Old 04-14-2010, 07:56 PM
 
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I would say once the poop smells it's time to go to the changing station (the malls in Buenos Aires had these complete with free warmed wipes, anti-bacterial gel, and free dispoable diapers if needed! It was awesome!), or to the car. Most public bathrooms have those flip down changing tables, which is very handy (though anyone notice how those are only installed in the women's bathrooms and never in the men's rooms!)

I would not go to school playground while school was in session, unless I was there a wee bit early to pick up ds and dd wanted to play while we waited. If that was even allowed. I don't know. All the schools here have their playgrounds inaccessible to the public.

I guess I would ask before the lunch date if peanuts were a problem and then not bring PB&Js because otherwise you are stuck, or they will feel obliged to say it is fine when it might not really be.

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#18 of 18 Old 04-14-2010, 08:13 PM
 
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I change diapers in the car as well - until they're out of diapers.
No idea about the peanut thing but I don't think it would hurt to ask.
I didn't know you could use the school playground to play. We have lots of public playgrounds here so I considered the school playground 'unpublic'
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