Feel like I always have a million questions... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 04-12-2010, 11:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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...and now I have a few more.

First, DS (14mo) seems to be suddenly very interested in PL BUT he is afraid of the potty itself (or maybe it's not comfy or something?). He likes to pretend to wipe himself, he tells me when he needs to go #2, but I don't know how to respond since he doesn't want to sit on the potty but doesn't seem to want to go in his diaper either. I know it's super early (and honestly it's way easier for me if he stays in diapers!! ) but he really seems to not want to go in the diaper... so... what to do??? I feel so dumb, the potty shouldn't be so challenging for me!!

Second, DS has ALWAYS been clingy & very high-needs, but lately it's just CRAZY. I am with him alone ~18 hours a day & DH tries to help me out with him the other 6 hours in the evening, but he just cries and screams. He doesn't want Daddy to read to him, he wants me to. He wants to nurse every 10 minutes (I think because he knows he can't get taken from my arms if he's BF'ing!) He goes to bed late (11:30pm, and he's much happier & well-rested overall with the late bedtime so we're not changing it) but since I've been WAH during naps & chasing him all day etc. I am so exhausted at night and just want a break from him, even 5 or 10 minutes to eat a snack in peace or pay the bills or whatever. I don't know why he wants nothing to do with Daddy anymore, though DH did start a new job a few weeks ago that means he's only home 6 waking hours a day instead of 12. And DH is sad that DS won't play with him & I'm beyond stressed!!!!!!!!!! Even if he takes him outside (his favorite thing!) he won't stay calm more than 5 minutes, but if I'm with him he's happy as a clam.

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#2 of 12 Old 04-13-2010, 08:48 AM
 
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Wow! 14 mo is really early to be interested in PL. That's really lucky! What kind of potty does he have? Have you tried him different potties? Bjorn has potties that come in a smaller size and may be less intimidating to the younger toddler.

As for your second question, I have no real answer...but can totally relate. My DD is nearly 14 months and is also very clingy right now. A couple weeks ago, I felt like I was going to lose my mind, because it felt like she needed me as much as she did when she was a newborn again. It's gotten a little better, but she'll have her moments where little things set her off. I don't know if it's related, but her sleep schedule also is off. Every night is different, and her naps have not been consistent at all. I'm thinking about enforcing stronger routines to help.

Somewhere I've heard around this age they tend to be a lot more needful, because so much is going on developmentally (picking up words, learning to walk, exploring, etc...). Supposedly, around 16-18 months things are supposed to ease up.

Right now, I've been taking us out of the house as much as possible as distractions seem to help. Even just going outside in the yard has been a good thing. She has a Little Tikes playground I got off of CL that has been wonderful to play on. I'm hoping to get on old sandbox refilled this next weekend so she has another new big thing to play with.

If she's super clingy while I have to get stuff done, I pop her on my back in the ergo and wear her. Her size was getting a bit heavy for babywearing, but I found it's so much easier to wear her on my back now than the front. She seems happier there now, too. She can check more things out. We'll still encounter moments, though, she wants to be down and into things. She's such a busy little person right now!

Enjoying the adventure of NFL with my partner-in-crime , DD 03.09 , , &
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#3 of 12 Old 04-13-2010, 10:20 AM
 
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The little potty is a great idea, and you can also do play with putting his toys on the potty to make it more friendly.

You could put a tray on the floor and let him squat to poop. It'd be worse to clean up than a potty, but would get him the idea of good places to toilet better than him just using the floor or a diaper.

Since he's young and maybe a bit smaller (vs. like a 24 month old), you might be able to hold him over the toilet.

Getting the potty thing sorted out might help the second situation.

Can dh hold ds right beside you? Like you sit together on the couch and they sit together and you're right there, but reading a book? I know it's not really relaxing, but it would at least be having your arms free.
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#4 of 12 Old 04-13-2010, 03:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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He has this potty: http://www.safety1st.com/usa/eng/Pro...c-3-in-1-Potty And I do think it's a little big for him, he's sooo tiny (short) even for a 14mo. Do you think something like this: http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/70141228 would be better? I think it's similar to the Bjorn but I could actually afford it... IF he'll tolerate the hour ride to Ikea In the meantime, maybe I'll try the tray idea (or newspaper!) to see how he likes that.

No way can DH hold him beside me at night. He ONLY wants me. Even if I hold him & DH tries to read to him, he freaks, he wants ME to read to him, ME to play with him. I think tonight I'll try going out for a bit (not exactly what I feel like doing at 7 or 8pm ) and see if he's any better without me in the house. Maybe I'll just sit in the car in case he doesn't calm down... I wish there was a way for me to get a short break in the morning/afternoon or something so I wouldn't feel so desperate for a break at night, but obviously that's not an option! I did leave him at the playground with DH last weekend for 20 mins or so & that was fine, but it's usually dark at night... I sure hope he calms down over the next couple months, he's almost WORSE than when a newborn, at least as a newborn he didn't care if DH calmed him instead of me. I'm just sooo tired!!! I think he might be teething too (was up screaming most of the night )

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#5 of 12 Old 04-13-2010, 03:41 PM
 
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Have you tried leaving the house so that DS and DH have time to bond? That might work better short term - and at 14months I really think that your DS is old enough to learn that mama isn't always available and daddy is really cool too.
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#6 of 12 Old 04-13-2010, 04:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah it's just weird because he used to love playing with Daddy, although there were always times he just wanted me, but I used to be able to do stuff in the other room or go out for an hour (not that I really did that much, guess I should've while I had the chance!!) I am going to try leaving the house & see how he does, I'll probably read in the car or something in case he keeps freaking out.

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#7 of 12 Old 04-13-2010, 05:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post
Yeah it's just weird because he used to love playing with Daddy, although there were always times he just wanted me, but I used to be able to do stuff in the other room or go out for an hour (not that I really did that much, guess I should've while I had the chance!!) I am going to try leaving the house & see how he does, I'll probably read in the car or something in case he keeps freaking out.
Have you tried waiting until he STOPS freaking out? How long does freaking out last for? 5 minutes? 20 minutes? an hour?

It could be just a phase, and for yours and your DH's sake I hope it is, but I would try to let your DH handle it as much as possible - by jumping in to rescue your ds from his dad the more you could exasperate the situation.
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#8 of 12 Old 04-13-2010, 06:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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There is no "stop" -- he just escalates until I finally step in (even if I wait an hour) and the longer I wait, the longer it takes him to calm down in the end I sure do hope it's a phase.

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#9 of 12 Old 04-14-2010, 02:04 AM
 
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Yes, the ikea potty is really popular with smaller babies. The bjorn has the advantage of working with somewhat larger kids, but you've already got a larger potty for that stage.

Where the ikea potty will help, is that he'll be able to sit down onto it with his feet apart and be in more of a squatting position. So he'll feel more secure and also have an easier time pooping compared to the chair-like potty.

On the velcro toddler situation, have you tried a family trip to a park? Or visiting someone with something interesting like a 3 year old or a dog?
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#10 of 12 Old 04-14-2010, 11:34 AM
 
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Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy View Post
There is no "stop" -- he just escalates until I finally step in (even if I wait an hour) and the longer I wait, the longer it takes him to calm down in the end I sure do hope it's a phase.
It has to be a phase (there could be situations where it wouldn't be - yours doesn't sound like one of those). For now, I would try to encourage him to play with daddy, start offering him a sippy or something when he asks to nurse occasionally (not all the time - but every 10 minutes is exhausting for you and he can have a sip of something else some times - does he like water? my ds LOVES his "wa wa"). And, its OK to say no to him. Really. If you need a break you NEED to take one - a burned out mommy isn't a good thing!
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#11 of 12 Old 04-14-2010, 11:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DUH I am an idiot I never thought to offer him water. I think I got so used to NOT giving him water in the early days that I don't think to give it to him now except when he asks for it!!!! I need to find him a good straw sippy (he usually uses just an open cup but that's too messy sometimes!!!), maybe that will help some if he has more "free acess" to liquids in the evenings. Wow I can't believe I didn't think of that. (Not that I want to stop nursing him, but A LITTLE less frequently would sure be nice at night!!) OK I'll have to get to the store today!! Cross your fingers!!

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#12 of 12 Old 04-14-2010, 11:48 AM
 
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LOL! Sounds like me! I learned this the hard way too - when my ds was maybe 13months he was doing something similar to your ds. My mom told me to give him water. It worked!

Good luck! And if the straw sippy doesn't work try a different one!
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