How do you handle your toddler throwing things at you? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 04-21-2010, 12:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I can handle screaming and pinching and kicking with aplomb!! However, when my ds throws things at me it really pushes my buttons.

We have been spending a ton of time in the yard and he has been routinely throwing dirt at me.

I have tried pointing out that there are a bazillion things we CAN do with dirt, but he only wants to do the one thing he CAN'T do-throw dirt.

He has gotten some in my eyes, and in my mouth and I hate it. We have been ending all play and immediately going inside. Technically this works, but I like being outside and so does he. I don't want to come inside every time because it means we spend about five minutes outside before it happens.

Are there any other things that you have found that help nip this in the bud? I am at an impasse because I think it bugs me so much my creative juices are kind of stymied.
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#2 of 9 Old 04-21-2010, 12:59 PM
 
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Well since children LOVE to press buttons and get a rise out of us (Which of course is one of their main ways of learning) And throwing dirt seems to be your only button, it would appear your dear dear child has picked up on this and is milking it for everything hes worth. Perhaps you THINK you are being passé about it, but maybe he can sense how much it bothers you and is trying to get you to make your loud flashing noisy bells go off. Am I making sense?

Other then deflection to something else, which usually seems to work fabulously for me, I would try to make a very conscience effort of trying not to let it show how much it bothers you.
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#3 of 9 Old 04-21-2010, 02:40 PM
 
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My DS throws things too and I just did a bit of research on it. I agree with PP that said to ignore as much as you can. Also, I read to give hiim something he is ALLOWED to throw. Have a couple balls for him and let him know he can't throw dirt, but he can throw the ball.

HTH
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#4 of 9 Old 04-22-2010, 01:57 AM
 
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I'm doing this new thing since a few days and it seems to work. I tell him that if he picks any more leaves of plants, we go inside. I also tell him that he has a choice in this, leave the leaves and we stay out, pick them and we go in....it works for about 20 minutes. I think that after about 10 minutes inside, they have probably moved onto something else, and it can be time for a new session in the yard.
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#5 of 9 Old 04-22-2010, 09:34 AM
 
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I would probably walk away and refuse to play with him if he threw stuff at me and if that didn't work and he kept it up, we'd go inside and stop playing outside. But that's just with dirt.
Once, my husband was playing with wooden blocks with my son and he took a block and bashed my husband in the head with it! Obviously, that hurt and instead of getting mad (which I would have done), DH just pretended to start crying which totally threw DS off and he went to him patted his head to comfort him. So far, he's never hit anyone in the head with a block again

Mother to one (8/08) with another on the way (04/11)
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#6 of 9 Old 04-22-2010, 09:43 AM
 
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Is there some place where he CAN throw dirt without bothering anyone? I mean, think about it from his perspective...how cool is it to throw something and have it spatter through the air! Pretty darn cool. It could be that he likes your reaction, but it could also be that the sensation from throwing the dirt feels new and pleasant and makes him feel strong and powerful. Maybe from one pail to another. Maybe onto a white sheet so he can see how dirty it becomes (ART!), especially if it's hanging on a clothesline. the act of throwing the dirt isn't necessarily what needs to be corrected, it's the direction he's throwing.

Just my two cents...trying to offer another perspective.
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#7 of 9 Old 04-22-2010, 09:47 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Geist View Post
I would probably walk away and refuse to play with him if he threw stuff at me and if that didn't work and he kept it up, we'd go inside and stop playing outside. But that's just with dirt.
This is what I would do, too. If DD kept throwing dirt at me we'd go inside.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Geist View Post
Once, my husband was playing with wooden blocks with my son and he took a block and bashed my husband in the head with it! Obviously, that hurt and instead of getting mad (which I would have done), DH just pretended to start crying which totally threw DS off and he went to him patted his head to comfort him. So far, he's never hit anyone in the head with a block again
I've done this before, too! Not with a block but if Nora hits me (which she sometimes does if she's overexcited) I'll say, "Ouch! That hurt!" and sob a little and rub my arm and she usually (but not always) will come over and kiss where she hit and calm down a little.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#8 of 9 Old 04-22-2010, 11:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the replies. I have tried showing him where he can throw dirt, where he can pile it, etc. But sadly it seems throwing dirt at me is the most fun.

I am a big fan of getting to "Yes you can do that!!" which is why I hate just going in YKWIM?

Yesterday was better, but this morning was not. My husband is going to build him one of those sand and water type tables this weekend so hopefully this will all become moot!!
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#9 of 9 Old 04-22-2010, 03:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by betsyj View Post
Thanks for the replies. I have tried showing him where he can throw dirt, where he can pile it, etc. But sadly it seems throwing dirt at me is the most fun.

I am a big fan of getting to "Yes you can do that!!" which is why I hate just going in YKWIM?

Yesterday was better, but this morning was not. My husband is going to build him one of those sand and water type tables this weekend so hopefully this will all become moot!!
except then he'll throw sand at you.
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