33 m.o. sooooo resistive to potty learning. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 04-27-2010, 01:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok mama's I am about @ my wits end with this. DD is 33 m.o. and nothing I have tried has seemed to get her to want to potty learn. I am open to anything. I know that potty learning ultimately has to do with the hypothalamus and when that is developed enough to actually get it.

DD tells me when she needs to go potty sometimes, and its really obvious when she's going number two. When she tells me she needs to potty and I try to get her to its a power struggle. On an average day we go from anywhere to a little whiney/fussiness over sitting on the potty to total meltdowns and refusal to sit on the potty @ all. I really think its about unwillingness to disengage from something she wants to do to doing something that she doesn't necessarily want to do. I have tried to make it fun for her (i.e. reading books, playing games, singing songs, making it a race to see who can get to the potty first, rewards) but even so its a constant battle. I am almost resigned to let it be a battle but I don't want to have potty learning be a power struggle.

If anyone has had a similar experience please let me know what you tried that worked. I am really willing to try just about anything. Thanks in advance.
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#2 of 12 Old 04-27-2010, 01:44 PM
 
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This might not be the answer you're looking for, but... I'd set it aside and try again in a couple of months. With my dd, we tried at 33 months, didn't work out, tried again at 36 months and it was done in a couple of days. With ds I tried at 36 months, no luck, and just last week tried again at 39 months. It took him one day and he's got it down! (No more diapers!!! ) Sometimes I think they might be physically ready, but, not mentally, or vice versa.

If it's deteriorating into a power struggle, I'd give up and try again in a couple months. JMO. Good luck!
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#3 of 12 Old 04-27-2010, 01:59 PM
 
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DS is at 36 months and we´re in the same boat - with the resistance, I mean - I know that as much as I want to make it work and be done with diapers (mostly), we have to let it go and be patient. with DS it´s pretty clear that trying to force the issue (any issue and he´s always been that way) is a long road to nowhere, which is not the end result we want, so we´re going to wait a couple more months and try again...

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#4 of 12 Old 04-27-2010, 02:04 PM
 
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I agree with letting it go for a while and trying again in a few months. It really shouldn't be this huge struggle.

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#5 of 12 Old 04-27-2010, 03:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks so much mamas for the reassurance. It kills me that most mamas I know said it was way easier to potty learn their girls vs. their boys. I was beginning to think I was incompetent for not getting it done by now. To be honest tho DD is way spirited and into doing things in her own time, gotta love that drive for autonomy. Thanks again.
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#6 of 12 Old 04-28-2010, 04:14 PM
 
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I saw this and while my DS is not there yet, it reminded me of stories that my mom tells me of when i potty learned. I guess (according to her) it was a big power struggle and she finally just asked me in desperation:
"L what will it take to have you use the potty!"
Apparently i told her "flower underpants"
She let me pick out my flower underpants and that was it, diapers were done.

So, maybe ask your LO what it will take. Just a thought, since this is a story that i have heard more than once from my mom.

SAHM to 5 cats, a crazy toddler and my new baby girl born at home 3/12/12.

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#7 of 12 Old 04-28-2010, 06:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by larzanna View Post
she finally just asked me in desperation: "L what will it take to have you use the potty!"
Apparently i told her "flower underpants"
that is hilarious...you know, it actually reminded me of my thought of going ahead and buying some underpants for DS to see if that encourages him at all...

very funny

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#8 of 12 Old 04-28-2010, 08:06 PM
 
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My DD1 was 36 months before she was even willing to attempt it. Anyway, she finished the process in about four days. We had been beating our heads against a wall for almost a whole year, but she did it just exactly when she got good and ready, and not a moment sooner. I've learned since then that she's just like that. I agree-- leave it be for awhile. When it's time, it'll be time, and ultimately this is something she has to do for herself.

What did it for DD was preschool-- she came home from the first day, and said, with wonderment in her voice, "mama, dem kids go potty all by derselfs." A few weeks later, she announced that she wanted to do that, too, and she did.

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#9 of 12 Old 04-29-2010, 01:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the ideas, I was actually thinking about using preschool as incentive to potty train she will be 3 in August and preschool starts in September. She loves books about potty training but the parts she loves the most is that always the potty comes in a big box wrapped as a present. So I think I am going to do that with her potty seat (she is too tall for a potty chair, about as tall as a four year old). Again thank you all so much.
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#10 of 12 Old 04-29-2010, 01:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MoMo's Mama View Post
She loves books about potty training but the parts she loves the most is that always the potty comes in a big box wrapped as a present.
this gave me another reminder - we bought DS´potty very early, just to have it around and not make a big deal out of it, but he missed out on the "surprise coming in a box" thing - and since I´ve seen a potty that I like better and I think would be more comfortable for him, I think I´m just going to go ahead and get it, so he can get his "present" too - to see if that helps at all - and if not, at least we´ll have a potty I´m happier with...

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#11 of 12 Old 04-29-2010, 04:34 PM
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I agree with PP to let it go for now. My first dd was not totally potty trained until she was almost 4 (and we still have the occassional issue at 6 yrs). Her sister was born when she was 33 months and we were in the middle of unsuccessful potty training...once her sister was born she really started to resist it so we took a break. A few months later we tried again and had an easier time with it. Funny thing is, my youngest decided one day when she was 2.5 that she was only going to wear underwear from then on and she only had a few accidents...she was so easy! It will come, I promise!!

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#12 of 12 Old 05-02-2010, 12:00 AM
 
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I agree with everyone else. DS will be 3 in a couple of days and we tried several times over the last year to get him to potty learn and he was just not ready. We talked about it all the time, but just stopped pressuring him. One morning he woke up and told us that he did not want his diapers anymore and that he wanted to wear underwear. This was about a month ago and he has done extremely well. He still has the odd accident, but a lot of that has to do with not wanting to stop doing whatever it is he is doing at the time. And it has only been in the last week that he has started consistenly pooping in the toilet. For whatever reason, he did not want to poop in the toilet at first, but now he is doing it.

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