does you 3yo answer questions? - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-05-2010, 03:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My 3yo step-son doesn't respond to questions.
Not 'trick' questions - how old are you, what's your name, who's that person, etc. I chalk that up to his parents not encouraging 'tricks' in him so much

But he doesn't respond to anything... does your sister crawl (he has a baby sister at his mom's house), where did you go today, what color is that... nothing.
focus? it is personal to me? (although he doesn't always respond to his father either)? he can hear (although I've wondered in the past how Well), but with these questions, he doesn't even stop and look, then choose to ignore you. he just goes about his day.

do 3yo's have these little conversational skills? or am I expecting too much?
if it's focus, is there a way to encourage focus? (we only get him a few days a month, but....)

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Old 05-05-2010, 05:34 PM
 
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Is it just you? Or is it everyone? Is it every time, no matter what the question? What if you ask him if he wants a snack? Or a treat? What about just yes/no questions?

My not-even-two-year-old answers questions. She doesn't know colours and can't tell you what she did today but will answer yes and no questions all day long. She will also tell you what she wants (milk, snack, a toy).

Or maybe you are asking questions that he just doesn't know the answer to. Maybe he can't remember if his sister crawls, or doesn't know colours yet.

But if he never responds to any questions, from anyone, I would find that concerning. How is the rest of his language development?

Wife to DH (06/10) and Mummy to DD (07/08).

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Old 05-05-2010, 05:41 PM
 
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My ds is 4 now, but he wouldn't respond to questions posed by anyone but dh or I. But that is his personality, very reserved and takes quite awhile to warm up to people.

Does he respond to your dh? Not responding by even looking at you or pausing in play would make me concerned. Does he respond to other noises that would make you think his hearing is fine, doors opening, dog barking, phone, etc?
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Old 05-05-2010, 06:14 PM
 
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DS is 28 months and is a chatter box. He will give me a detailed rundown of his day when I pick him up from school, and answer any other questions posed to him. If he doesn't know the answer he resonds with "I don't know" or sometimes "I don't think so". It seems worth it to have his hearing checked just to rule that out, but it may just be his personality.

Kat, wife to and mommy to (Dec 07).
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Old 05-06-2010, 03:54 AM
 
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I'd be concerned. DD turned 3 today (whaaa! my baby is three) and has been responding to questions (and asking a LOT of her own) for a long time now.

Mom to Kayleigh (05/07) Jacob (05/09) and Ned decluttering 615/2010
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Old 05-06-2010, 05:03 AM
 
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I would be concerned. My 15 months old has been answering simple questions for a while now- if I point to the wall and ask her what it is she tells me wall, what color- pink (in her room), point at daddy papa grandmas or momma and she will tell you who the person is to her, almost all of her toys she knows what it's called and will tell you if you ask, the foods she eats often she knows the names of and will ask for them, etc.

I think your stepson would benefit from an evaluation so he can get whatever help he needs to get him on track.

Carrie~ wife to Ryan, and finally mama to Emmery (1/15/09) via IVF after 3 1/2 years TTC!
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Old 05-06-2010, 09:53 AM
 
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My almost-3 year old can be like this. He has a minor speech delay, but generally he talks in sentences that are appropriate, understands everything, and hears fine. He just hates being questioned. He knows all his colors and will sometimes answer a "what color is that" question, but more often refuses. I picture him thinking "duh. You know it's blue, I know it's blue, why do I have to answer, then" He answers "what do you want" questions OK (but not great), but "quizzing" questions are more of an issue

Is this a problem? I don't really know. We had an evaluation for speech, but they couldn't really finish because he refused to engage with the evaluator. He talked to her about the room, stuff on the table, etc, but wouldn't do the formal evaluation. So at the least, it interfers with evaluations and later school stuff.
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Old 05-06-2010, 01:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RoadBuddy View Post
My almost-3 year old can be like this. He has a minor speech delay, but generally he talks in sentences that are appropriate, understands everything, and hears fine. He just hates being questioned. He knows all his colors and will sometimes answer a "what color is that" question, but more often refuses. I picture him thinking "duh. You know it's blue, I know it's blue, why do I have to answer, then" He answers "what do you want" questions OK (but not great), but "quizzing" questions are more of an issue

Is this a problem? I don't really know. We had an evaluation for speech, but they couldn't really finish because he refused to engage with the evaluator. He talked to her about the room, stuff on the table, etc, but wouldn't do the formal evaluation. So at the least, it interfers with evaluations and later school stuff.
This is what I'm thinking... especially the few times when he does at least stop and look at you, he looks at you like you're mad. Questions that are "quizzing", as you put it... what shape, what color, etc., things that he doesn't know (no, he doesn't know these things) I think are frustrating to him. He doesn't try to answer, he blatantly ignores, but, for example, he'll be watching a silly tv show, say Sesame Street and enjoying the songs and all that, but when it gets to a question on a shape... he'll actually get up and walk away. It makes him that annoyed.

I think it's focus, because neither of his parents really force him to engage. I think this is a problem more than DP. He has concerns that the words he Does speak, we can't really understand -- but apparently his mother speaks his language, so she's not interested in taking him to be evaluated. That part is all very Jerry Springer. I'm just wondering if there's stuff I/we can do to help the few days that he's here.

Thanks ladies. I didn't want to push him, you know? if this is "normal" behavior. And again, I'm not too worried about the things he doesn't know - he'll be limited starting out in school, but he'll learn. But the interaction, just the conversation... seems like that should be happening.

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Old 05-06-2010, 02:15 PM
 
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I can relate on two points. About his mother "speaking his language"...I have a now 4yo who apparently had articulation issues at age 3 that I did not know about because I spoke his language. He knew all his sounds, but he talked so fast that he would leave off the end sounds of words to blend them all together. We decided to give it a year and how now speaks quite clearly.

Also, my other ds who is 3y 3mos, he is my kid that does not (seem to)focus as well and is not quite as concerned with social conversation like my other kid. He's very much in his own world often times and when I try to "teach" him things, he stops making eye contact or just walks away! He knows his letters, but if I try to "quiz him" he gets annoyed and will not participate! I assume everything he's learned is just from soaking it all up from what he hears around the house. But after reading your post, I decided to see what he did if I asked him very pointed questions. I tapped him on the shoulder and asked:

What is your name? ..... N---
How old are you? .....3
When is your birthday? .....Today!! (not true, but funny!)
What is your address? .....7--- F-----

Very direct, no milling about, maintained eye contact....he seemed amused at the impromptu quizzing!

So, I'm not sure what to say about your dss.... is it that his mom doesn't engage with him very much the majority of the time, so he's just not used to it? I would also like to know if he will answer questions like, What do you want to eat? Or yes/no questions. I bet quizzing him on things that he doesn't know (just to see what he knows) might make him frustrated and just not want to participate.

Heather-- I'm a <>< SAHM of two fabulous boys 8/05 and 2/07
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Old 05-17-2010, 01:28 AM
 
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Unless it's personality. My dd is 5 and she will not answer quizzing question. When she was say 3 she would sit counting her toys 1,2,3,4,5 then if someone (not me I learnt a long time before not to ask her such things) asked her how many toys there were she would either ignore or say 1,2,4,7. It really became quite funny to observe.

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