My 5 year old is very well spoken but on-level intellectually. He's mastered all objectives for his grade but hasn't been deemed advanced and that's fine. I don't want to pressure him so much that he hates learning. I want to preserve his childlike curiosity. My 2 year old, almost 2.5, is advanced, and I'm almost afraid to say it out load because many people in my family have children his age and a little older who aren't doing what he does. He can count well past 20, knows his ABCs and many letters, all colors, shapes, how to spell his name, uses full sentences, sings, etc. He has been doing most of this since before he turned 2. I think it's a combination of nature and nuture. I don't think that because of this, he is any more spectacular than the other children in his class or age who don't know these things. I guess because I'm the same type of instant learner, but I'm actually behind my friends in good decision making. Do I have a 3.9 GPA in college (biology/chemistry major) with very little studying? Yes. Has is taken me 7 years on and off to complete a degree because I've been fiddling around doing randomness and pouting about the unfairness of the world while my less intellectually-capabale friends have masters degrees? Heck yes! lol. I learned to read long before I went to kindergarten and could read and write a story easily in kindergarten, graduated from highschool early, and got a full ride academic scholarship to college. But the decisions that I've made since, with the exception of having my sons, have been questionable and often damaging. I'm finally in a pattern of good decision making, but not without a lot of pain and hard work.
I've said all this to say that I don't make a big deal about abilities and milestones with my children because I know that so many other things are more important. Are they happy, healthy, creative, inquisitive, excited? Are they well-rounded, respectful, confident, and good decision makers? I expect my children to do their very best at all times, within reason, but I don't expect them to excel at everything, especially when they're still practically babies. I can understand why, with everyone else tooting their childrens' abilities, you would feel like there is something wrong either with your teaching or your child's learning. But there's not! Children learn at different paces for different reasons. Unless there is an issue that actually needs treatment don't worry one bit. Your child is perfectly normal, will know what she needs to know on time, and you'll feel silly that you ever thought different. I went nuts during my 2 year old's infancy, convincing everyone that there was something gravely wrong my my baby because he was "just too quiet and calm". I really, really thought that he had a major mental disability at like 3-4 months old! Can we say obsessive. I can laugh at myself now, and you will too
P.S. I WISH that my kids would be more artistic than academic because I always wished I was. I'm in awe of the power of creativity. Right now, I'll settle for my oldest's train track designs and my youngest's booty songs that he creates while shakin that thang! LMAO