2.5 yo son was happy in bed with dad x 4 mo, now WEEPING for me at night (xposted in family bed) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 07-10-2010, 11:04 AM - Thread Starter
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Dear god, we just CANT go back to the bad old days of me doing all the nighttime parenting!

Please please let me know... anything. What you think I should do to manage the nights, preserve some version of getting sleep, understand this stage, anything at all would help.

I was getting sicker and sicker from the sleep deprivation, and I'm only now just getting some resources back to be well again. We had a great experience with nightweaning, and son and husband were happy to sleep together snuggling while I went off to a spare bed. Son's frequency of sttn was getting more and more, everything was so good. Setup was to put son to sleep in his little bed next to the big bed, and he'd crawl in for daddy snuggles on occasion, but often spend all night in his little bed.

But for the past 3 nights, he's woken in deep weeping hiccuping misery begging for mama. I go to him, and he's mostly agreeable to snuggling and for the rest of the night will sleep fine if I stay glued to him, with occasional reminders that milk is in the morning, nighttime is for snuggles.

Complicating our thoughts on how to handle this without backsliding is that we plan to all get in our van and drive xcountry in about a month. So learning how to all sleep in one bed again is a good preparation, but this morning I am so trashed, can't focus, and I remember how miserable I was with exhaustion before. It's not as bad as nursing all night, but it's still too hard for it to be sustainable.

WHAT'S GOING ON??? Not sick, no changes in our rhythm or surroundings (yet) so it must be developmental, right? Lately he is lots more elastic about being away from me in a store or park, but also more attached to me when I try to leave the house, though happy after I'm gone.

Has this happened to you? What do I do? Panicking!

Mom of one child (2008), wife of one husband, tender of dogs, cats and chickens. Household interests: ocean life (kid), bitcoins (husband), simplifying (me).

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#2 of 3 Old 07-10-2010, 10:11 PM
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My daughter did the same thing and it was sooooo frustrating. I'm pregnant so I was so afraid she'd still be doing this when the baby is born. For us it was all going well until I got sick with a nasty cold and was unavailable during the days and nights. Then my teaching partner got sick so I covered her classes for her for a week -- I usually work part-time so a full week at the babysitter was a big change for my daughter.

It took a while to get better. A few things might have helped, but honestly I can't be sure. It might just have been time. I tried to be available to her during the day but also to let her and Daddy have fun outings without me during week. We talked about the friends she has who sleep in their own beds and how it's a big girl thing to be able to sleep without Mama.

Then suddenly one day I put her to sleep and she slept all through the night in her own bed all by herself. She literally went from having what seemed like night terrors and freaking out at night to sleeping on her own the next day. Nowadays she'll often wake up once at night and come to our room. She wants me but if she gets a hug and a snuggle she'll go with my husband, eat a banana, and go back to sleep. Sometimes she cries but she does settle down which is a change from a month ago.

Good luck! I wouldn't have high expectations of the trip, but remember it is finite. I always tell myself that when she's restless all night in a new place.
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#3 of 3 Old 07-10-2010, 11:22 PM
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DS will be 3 in Sept. He's been doing something similar lately. Wakes up hysterical sobbing, weeping, calling out for me. DH is not enough comfort, he has to SEE me.

One day in the middle of the day, I finally asked him if he was having "scary dreams" and he said yes. I asked what was scary and he said "mama, when you feel yucky, I feel scared" I'm pregnant and have been throwing up ALOT. Even though he was okay with my explanation during the day he was still trying to process it at night and it came out in nightmares.

I don't have much to offer other than what works for us, which is to 1)nap w/ him and when he starts fussing I touch him and say "It's okay, Mama's here" and he immediately calms down, no full wake up. The naps seem to make nights easier (he sleeps in his own room).

In your situation maybe have DS in his little bed, DH closest to him, and then you. When he starts making noise just say "It's okay, You're Okay, Mama's here" and see if that helps?

wife to DH, Mama to DS "Bug" (09/07), and DD "Sprout" (01/11). 
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