Sept 07 - Three is right around the corner! - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 75 Old 08-27-2010, 09:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by *jeanine* View Post
plaid - for clarification - you're from the US and DH is from France? What about your parents and gparents?
yep! Parents and grandparents were born and raised in US, too. I am pretty sure my father never co-slept with his parents, but my mom probably did with her parents at least some of the time. Don't know about their toileting habits though.
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#62 of 75 Old 08-29-2010, 12:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My MIL shoo's Liam out when she uses the bathroom but she doesn't mind if Laine goes in. When Liam was younger it didn't bother her.

It wouldn't bother me if they co-slept with her. She's offered to co-sleep with Liam in the past to give me a break, which is surprising since she was so against it for a long time. I co-slept with my grandmother whenever I stayed at her house, usually my cousin and I and her. She co-slept with all nine of her children until they reached their first birthday. I co-slept with my mom. It's just something that's always been done in my family so it wouldn't bother me.

I'm recovering from another rough night last night. I'm definitely past my prime. I don't understand how I went out every weekend in college. It was fun, though. Andrew is in another funk and being miserable and unhappy about everything as usual. My MIL leaves tomorrow. Both kids have been in funky moods as well. Whoever said the two's were terrible never met a three year old.

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#63 of 75 Old 08-29-2010, 03:02 AM
 
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My boys co-sleep with my mom most of the time when they spend the night with her. We co-slept often when we were little (my sister and I), especially as I had a tendency towards nightmares for quite a while. Before that, it was just the three of us, so we were often together even though we had our own beds, too.

I remember one of the boys' grandparents being here (not sure now if it was MIL or my dad) and one of the boys asked if he could sleep with him/her. The grandparent clearly had NO idea that, in the boys' mind, that's the ultimate, "I love you and you're special and we get time together," kind of moment. The response was definitely one of surprise, though not harsh. I obviously didn't push it, but felt kinda sad that s/he didn't know realize how special that can be! (And, yeah, I can't at all remember which person that was!)


I've never, ever, gone out partying, but I used to pull all-nighters all the time. I am SO old now. In fact, it's barely late at 1am and I'm seriously crashing here. Not bad as I have to be up early-ish in the morning, but, yeah. Age and kids have a way of catching up!

Katie, wonder if the funky moods have anything to do with your MIL being there? My DH and kids go nuts after a few days...

HeatherB ~ mama to 3 wonderful boys:  reading.gif 03/02; modifiedartist.gif09/04; sleepytime.gif 09/07 - and Eliana, babygirl.gif 11/13/10!  
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#64 of 75 Old 08-29-2010, 01:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Saturday night was the first night since having kids that we went out to a bar. It was a combination of staying up too late and drinking, neither of which I do anymore. The ball itself was okay, but everybody invited us out after the formal portion was done. They invited us out again last night but we both said no way

I think Andrew is depressed or something else. He complains about everything and nothing seems to make him happy and he can never see the bright or positive side to things. He's making a better effort today, we'll see how long it lasts. Laine hasn't been sleeping all that well and is cranky. Liam isn't napping anymore which makes him more ornery, just being very rebellious and he's been hitting and yelling a lot lately. My MIL's visit wasn't a good one. Andrew's best friend confided in me that over his deployment my MIL was emailing back and forth to him about me. And not good things. I'm honestly surprised that she was still talking about me in a negative light up until fairly recently. I'm also angry because this same guy has a new lady friend that he brought to dinner and we all know that Mrs. D. has to analyze the new girl to determine whether she's a good match. It makes me sick because I never got that chance and everyone should realize by now that this woman's opinion means nothing. I mean, she hated my guts and I still stuck around despite her best efforts for over two years to get rid of me.

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#65 of 75 Old 08-29-2010, 02:24 PM
 
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Katie

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#66 of 75 Old 08-29-2010, 06:01 PM
 
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Katie from me too. Tough mil visits are so tough. As to dh and depression, coming back to family life, disrupted sleep, there are so many things going on that can pile up. I hope you both feel more hope soon.

You don’t owe them an explanation, just a response.
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#67 of 75 Old 08-30-2010, 04:19 AM
 
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Katie. I can't imagine having a MIL like that around. I don't feel (11 years later) that mine particularly likes me, but she's at least more or less accepting now. (I have always felt like the fact that DH is an only child, and therefore I'm her one and only shot at a DIL, is an issue. Even though he lived across the country from her, I still feel like I sort of "took him" away from her. I dunno, it's weird, but we cope on short visits.) It sounds like your MIL has some major issues that have nothing to do with you.

Does the military have someone your DH can talk to? I can't imagine the major emotional stress of being overseas, coming home, trying to adjust, etc. It sounds entirely "normal" to have issues with depression in that situation. It's a HUGE, major life event, but one that you're almost expected to take in stride. I do highly recommend the book "The Mood Cure" for natural treatments for various types of depression (or what she calls "false moods"). Soooo helpful and applies to so many people I know (including those who don't have "classic" depression). Not sure if it would apply or appeal to him, but it might help.


Sent out invites for the boys' joint party last night... We can have up to 60 people (which is crazy!) at this venue. I invited families totaling up to 48, I think (including us), and so far have gotten "yes" responses from my mom and ONE other family - friends from a homeschooling group that we don't know *that* well. I suppose it's really only one "no" so far that has surprised me (and they didn't say anything about why they can't come, nor did they mention it today when I saw them at church), but it's got me worrying about having *enough* to make it a fun party. I just wish people would commit... Though it's a Thursday late-afternoon party, so I know it's a bit of an odd time. I was hoping that having almost 3 weeks notice would help, but, we'll see.

Iain's 6th birthday is on Sunday, and I'm trying to figure out logistics for that given conflicting needs and wants from various sides. We are, for sure, taking him to see the dinos at the zoo (yes, zoo). It's an exhibit that will only be up until the day after his birthday, so we're going for the first time. He's SO into dinos (on a detailed level) so I know he'll enjoy it. But juggling that with the people we always see for birthdays and their needs/time, heat, naps, finances... Sigh. Hopefully we can go with the plan we currently have cooked up, 'cause my brain is fried. But that might be 'cause I need to sleep.

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#68 of 75 Old 08-30-2010, 10:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think it's a combination of a lot of things contributing to his mood. I won't go into detail about it on here because I never know who could be reading but a lot of it has to do with work and not necessarily deployment at this point. It's always one thing after another. I know that he's still adjusting, he often has a tendency to only see the bad in things and never the good. It's almost absurd sometimes how he complains about something good. It's not influencing his every-day function, it just makes him not so fun to be around. He can snap out of it when he wants to. In any case, I'm keeping an eye on him and will make sure he gets help if necessary. He did better yesterday, seems to be related to his mom being gone, so we'll see how the rest of the week goes.

I hope you hear back from more guests, Heather. I think my biggest fear with planning a party is that no one will come. I'd like to go to the zoo but his birthday is on a Wednesday so DH won't be able to go. He has a big inspection going on the first two weeks of September so he'll be really busy. Maybe the weekend prior. I need to get some of those vegan cupcake recipes from Rachel, too

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#69 of 75 Old 08-30-2010, 04:15 PM
 
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We had a party at our home for DS1's first birthday - and no one came. Turned out someone had told everyone not to go and had scheduled other things that day to keep people away. One mom and child finally came so at least he had someone to play with, and two more friends came much later. But it was the most horrible thing ever. I hope you can find a good time for a party when people can come!

I'm sure having to deal with his mom could contribute to issues! Hope he continues to improve!

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#70 of 75 Old 08-30-2010, 06:59 PM
 
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In car on phone after 12 hours of travel bur I have to say, heather, that is the worst thing I've ever heard. I'm sure you're over it but how disgusting.

Katie big hugs to you and DH

My babies were born at home! 09/07, 01/10, and 09/12 joy.gif

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#71 of 75 Old 08-30-2010, 07:34 PM
 
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^ yeah that.
At least he was one and didn't know any better. But that's gotta lead to some serious bad karma for whoever told people not to go to a baby's bday party.

I feel sooo bad when we're not able to go to someone's bday party. And it's also one of my big fears that no one will show up.

Speaking of which, I should probably invite the neighbors soon if we want them to come to Jamison's party next weekend . Oh, and she wants a Cinderella cake. Hopefully this one turns out as good as the last princess cake, but I'm seriously *NOT* looking forward to it.

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#72 of 75 Old 08-30-2010, 08:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm sorry Heather, that is just awful. Definitely bad karma points for that one.

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

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#73 of 75 Old 08-30-2010, 11:29 PM
 
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home!


and I got postcards! sweet!

My babies were born at home! 09/07, 01/10, and 09/12 joy.gif

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#74 of 75 Old 08-31-2010, 05:12 AM
 
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Glad you made it home safely, Alicia!

Yeah, it was pretty horrible. Thankfully, we'd had a family party on his actual birthday, so they didn't *completely* ruin our celebrations. And he didn't know. It doesn't come up much, so I don't think about it all that often, but it still stinks even 7.5 years later! That particular "friend" has caused numerous issues with numerous people. We are still in the same basic circles and our kids are friends, but she's only a friend when she wants to be (and I'm way past putting myself out there for her!). Let's just say, that wasn't the end of the drama.

Very grateful for the handful of true friends we have!

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#75 of 75 Old 09-01-2010, 05:52 PM
 
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