Sept 07 - Three is right around the corner! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 75 Old 08-02-2010, 11:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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New thread for August. Can't believe we have one month to go until birthdays, and even less than that for some of us.

Not much to report here. We're helping our neighbor out across the street because she's due on the 30th and they don't have family here to watch their older son, so we're on babysitting duty when she goes into labor. Her son is a couple of months older than Liam so they play great together. Her DH has to travel back home today for a funeral so we'll watch him on Thursday while she goes to a prenatal.

The weekends always throw the kids off because Andrew is home, and then all of a sudden he's gone again on Monday. I think I'm going to spend today *trying* to get some cleaning done.

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#2 of 75 Old 08-02-2010, 12:09 PM
 
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subbing in....

I feel so pushed and pressured lately, just out of sorts and struggling and out of time to think about it all.

Our second Breastfeeding Cafe of World Breastfeeding Week is this week. We are at the hospital this afternoon targeting the ob office staff in particular. Friday morning was WIC, tomorrow is the bookstore in the evening.

Linus is outside on his skuut. He sits on the seat and walks s-l-o-w-l-y.

You don’t owe them an explanation, just a response.
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#3 of 75 Old 08-02-2010, 02:19 PM
 
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I have always felt so left out of these birthday type threads...I read, forget to sub, then they get so busy & I feel like a stranger trying to catch up. LOL

This time, I subbed & here I am!!!

I can't believe Ella will be 3 next month. I have such mixed emotions. She is so independent, talks like a 5 year old & seems so huge to me now that we have #2.

And she has quite a personality...she is something else!


They have been doing this thing in the car lately...they literally crack each other up. Ella gets Kaya (6 mos) giggling & then they both just get going & it is hysterical. Out of control giggling at each other for minutes at a time...

Stephanie~hippie.gifwife to Dov, mama to Ella Irie (9/24/07) & Kaya Raine (2/1/10)~our vbac.gifbaby, born 45 hours after PROM!!!
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#4 of 75 Old 08-02-2010, 02:23 PM
 
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They have been doing this thing in the car lately...they literally crack each other up. Ella gets Kaya (6 mos) giggling & then they both just get going & it is hysterical. Out of control giggling at each other for minutes at a time...
I LOVE this! Lucy and Caroline have been doing this, but usually when they're lying down on the floor or the bed together. It's so sweet!

Rachel, mama to Lucy, born 9.9.07, and Caroline, born 2.25.10!
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#5 of 75 Old 08-02-2010, 11:34 PM
 
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subbing...

My 18 month old nephew is here ...

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#6 of 75 Old 08-03-2010, 04:00 AM
 
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I love it when siblings make each other laugh!

I so can't believe my BABY is turning 3 so soon! He's an end-of-the-monther so we have a little more time, but he is already super excited about it. We were celebrating my mom and step-dad's birthday (same day) a few days ago and Judah started talking all about HIS birthday and that he'll be 3 and talking about the splash pool we're going to go to for his party (or such is the plan!). He told me all about the things he'll do there - and he has never been, only seen pictures MONTHS ago! We've talked about it now and again but not in that kind of detail, so I was shocked and tickled that he was so excited!

He's also super excited about the new baby. Baby is due about 6 weeks after his birthday, so we are getting close. Eek!!

I've been trying to handle major issues, drama, and concerns about the new house that's *supposed* to be being built. I ended up telling the sales counselor today that I needed her to tell me my house would start by the end of the week. Period. I'm not even sure where I came up with that, but she asked me what I needed from her (I've given her literally lists of questions in the past which have not been answered), and that's the demand that came to mind. Not unreasonable, either, given the situation, but also hadn't been quantified in my own mind, so it was surprising to think of it and say it, BUT it *might* have been just exactly what needed to be said.

Anyway, the issues are not yet resolved and we're not yet on a start list, but I am hoping that we'll hear tomorrow and that this company will show that it DOES care about its customers and is willing to do what's necessary to get things done. I do have one more card up my sleeve, and that is that a friend of mine (she was my upline in Stampin' Up! before I resigned) reminded me that her husband works for this very company. He's actually the construction manager for half of our metro area, and while we're in the other half, he obviously knows the construction manager for this side quite well. So I may be contacting him for information and an idea of what's going on. We shall see.

With all of that, I'm obviously super stressed. And we're showing our house 2 hours from any phone call (this morning, bright'n'early, we allowed 1.5 hour window). And I'm battling low blood pressure that's making me feel like I'm about to pass out at any given moment.

But I came home this evening and convinced my tired little boy that he really did want to snuggle with mommy on the couch, and there he fell asleep. He is such a sweetheart! He can be quite the handful, too, but I do love those sweet moments!

HeatherB ~ mama to 3 wonderful boys:  reading.gif 03/02; modifiedartist.gif09/04; sleepytime.gif 09/07 - and Eliana, babygirl.gif 11/13/10!  
Founder of Houston Birth Alternatives: Be Informed, Encouraged, Supported birth support group and aspiring midwife.

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#7 of 75 Old 08-05-2010, 01:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm crossing my fingers that all goes well with the new house, Heather. I've been wondering if that's what your Facebook updates were related to. I can't imagine how stressful it must be when trying to sell your current home while trying to ensure that the new house is ready to go by baby time. I will send positive thoughts your way that construction starts soon

I should be sleeping. I have to watch my neighbor's son tomorrow while she goes to a prenatal. I was looking at pictures of Liam from his second birthday and just can't believe how much he's changed in a year. It makes me so teary. And I miss his long hair.

I've also been really aggravated with Andrew since last night. Normally I'm really easy going about stuff and we don't have spats but he really made me angry. He started playing softball and has practice one night a week, which means he doesn't get home until the kids are going to bed or after. That didn't bother me. We could go watch the games pretty easily. Then last night he springs it on me that he decided to play soccer now and is going to be gone TWO nights a week for practice, and the games are not in a child friendly place so we won't even be able to go watch them. Not to mention he has to buy all the equipment for it.

It would have been nice if he had bothered to run it by me, but apparently it's okay because I get to sleep in for an hour on the weekends so we're even I'm angry because I can't just up and decide to do whatever I want without consulting him about it, I still have my kids to be accountable to. Its hard for me to spend 15 or 16 hours a day alone with the kids as it is, and I feel like he's taking advantage of things.

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#8 of 75 Old 08-05-2010, 09:13 AM
 
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Heather, I can't believe your baby time is so close already. The house situation sounds stressful.

Katie, I get it, I do. It is asumed that because I am the stay at home parent I will take care of childcare. Dh does try to be helpful and flexible but I know where final responsibilty rests and whose plans will change. A couple of times I have pushed the issue but with his job and the babies bf.... Things got better once I had built in babysitters in the older kiddos and the nursing demands declined.

Speaking of nursing demands declining, my first pp menstruation was this week, less than 1 month before Linus's 3rd birthday. It was a bit surprising, I thought maybe I was menopausal.

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#9 of 75 Old 08-05-2010, 11:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Awful night's sleep last night. Andrew got up around 3am for work and I fell asleep sometime after that, and then Liam came in because he heard Andrew leave. Then Laine was up at 6. She fell back asleep for maybe an hour. I might as well hook up a coffee IV My neighbor's son is here and luckily he keeps the kids busy.

I've accepted that my life isn't really flexible at this juncture but I could really use the support of a co-parent. In a lot of ways he's very involved and plays with the kids and all of that, but I think he is overwhelmed by the care they require. He doesn't seem to understand that they cling to him like monkeys when he gets home because they only seem him for a few hours during the work week. I feel like he's throwing me under the bus now. I even asked him if he would practice once a week and I get a "no way, I can't do that". And sadly he's right because he gets to decide whether spending more time with us is a priority.

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#10 of 75 Old 08-05-2010, 01:23 PM
 
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I started talking with DS about their upcoming birthdays. His reply as soon as I said birthday was "take!" (meaning "cake!"). It's the only thing he said.

Presents are ordered and have started to arrive. I'll probably take DS out to let him pick a present for DH at the end of the month.

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#11 of 75 Old 08-05-2010, 02:20 PM
 
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Mmmmmm "take"!


Yup, childcare always falls to me, too. DH takes jujitsu. It's very good for him as it strengthens his neck and wrists which can get wonky in his line of work. I know that. I know it's good for him. But, class is Tuesday and Thursday nights and every other Saturday. He's not always off work on time to go during the week. And for at least a year was practically never off work on time. And (to his credit) he doesn't go on Saturdays. So, he made arrangements to go and work out/learn with another guy on Mondays (he's off Mondays - works 4 10s). Sometimes sensei shows up, or other people. It was really good. It was more like an advanced class, so he actually got a better workout than on Tuesdays or Thursdays when there's lower ranks there. It was working well for both of us. Well, now things are improving at work to the point where he can make it to the evening classes sometimes. I had to put my foot down. You don't get Monday afternoon *and* Tuesday night (getting home between 8:30-9pm) *and* Thursday night (same late night). WTH?!? And you especially don't get it if I have to have a job doing the books and payroll etc for *your* business. It's much easier to do that if someone else is watching the kids, and if you're always at jujitsu.... Don't push me!!!!! But I'm a bit of a b!tch. I tell him he can't go that much. And if he pushes me too much I'll stop doing the stuff for his business. And he knows I mean it. But meanwhile, where's my personal time? He's not *against* me taking classes, but... I want to take yoga. There's 3 classes offered here. One at like 10 am when he's at work. One at like 5:30 pm when he's at work. One on the weekend, when I'm at work. When can I do it? He thinks he gets 3 days of jujitsu, and I get nada. And on the weekends, he's building our garage. Needs to be done, yes. But he builds the garage, not builds the garage *and* watches the kids. OY! Men! Seriously, I could go on and on and on.....

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#12 of 75 Old 08-05-2010, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I get what you're saying, Jeanine. I can put my foot down and say no way but he doesn't have to listen to me, he can do whatever he wants and there really is no repercussion for it except an unhappy wife. For Andrew this is purely recreation. He gets up at 5:30 every morning and works out and I don't see him again until 6 or 7 at night. If he plays sports at night then it's after 8pm before he even comes home. I feel like this is him just finding a better opportunity to avoid being home. I don't have any hobbies away from home, the closest thing I get to time away from the house and kids is grocery shopping every two weeks. I can't afford daycare or a babysitter to watch them. I get the guilt trip when I ask him to play with the kids for an hour or two while I go and sew to MAKE MONEY. Forget about even discussing getting a real job because he doesn't want to be responsible for watching them on nights and weekends.

I'm beginning to think that being deployed has really instilled a separate lifestyle mentality in him. Like he's happier having a separate life away from us, but he still feels pulled by the responsibility of being with his kids.

Can you tell how tired and worn out and bitter I am? I need to do something for myself. I'm thinking about going back to school online, for what I don't know, but I need to invest something in myself.

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#13 of 75 Old 08-05-2010, 05:10 PM
 
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I hear you , Katie and Jeanine. I really can relate to what you are saying.

hhmmmph

I am actually thinking about getting a part-time job out of the house just so I can get out of the house on my own! I do work from home sometimes, but as both of you know that can be very difficult to do.
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#14 of 75 Old 08-05-2010, 08:45 PM
 
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In better news:

I got a silk nightshirt at the thrift store It's a large. I'm more of a medium. It's a big shirt. It's not sexay. But it's silk. I don't know how much I paid - I got a dress for each dd, a shirt for ds, the nightshirt, and a shirt and dress that will hopefully become part of my halloween costume for the discounted price of $10 because I brought in two bags o' stuff for them.

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#15 of 75 Old 08-06-2010, 02:01 PM
 
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Forgot to subscribe the first time.

DH is looking for a part-time job too. DS loves his Montessori preschool, so if DH finds a job we'll bump it from two half-days to two full-days. He's also enjoyed Little Gym over the summer, and we'll start Kindermusik in a few weeks.

Lunch is over but I'll try to catch up over the weekend.

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#16 of 75 Old 08-06-2010, 06:58 PM
 
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#17 of 75 Old 08-06-2010, 08:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yep, that's the story of my life too.

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#18 of 75 Old 08-07-2010, 05:52 PM
 
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just about to change my name to 'dishes and laundry'.

Lindsay + Trev = DD RóisÃ*n (9/07) & DS Ãamonn (7/2010)
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#19 of 75 Old 08-08-2010, 12:38 PM
 
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Mommajb - You need to stop talking about being menopausal. We're the same age, and I'm waaaay too young to be menopausal. Please help keep me in my denial How long did AF stay away with your other kids?

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#20 of 75 Old 08-08-2010, 01:46 PM
 
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I went to Costco today because my friend needed something from there and we have a card through DH's work.

We were heading to the check-out when I looked up and saw the coolest cherry-red metal, fat-rubber-tired tricycle for less than half the price of the tricycles I have been seeing online. So I bought it and now just have to keep it hidden until his birthday!

Y woke up and wanted to nurse during the night, but my back was to him. He leaned over and said very sweetly in my ear "Mama, turn to over. I can't seeee you!" He is still nursing ALL THE TIME and I try to redirect and make him wait and cross my hands in front of chest but he is very insistent. And if I mention that he JUST nursed a few minutes ago he will say that he didn't have that breast, or he didn't nurse in the room we are now in, or he didn't have 3 sips... I also get annoyed when he paws at me or pulls my shirt up or down and just grabs a breast, so I say he needs to ask before grabbing. Of course then asks in such a sweet voice that it is hard to say no.

I have been feeling queasy and grumpy all day and now my throat hurts, but I have to make dinner. Then of course there is the laundry and the dishes!
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#21 of 75 Old 08-08-2010, 03:12 PM
 
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sorry jeanine but it would make for effective bc. the girls are 28 months apart and then Linus is 26 months younger to that minus 9 months for the recent crew. This is my record.

PL, those trikes are great. All three kids ride at noce like a bunch of clowns yet it still survives.

I have time for mdc because I taught Linus to do dishes and his sisters to mop the kitchen with any water he gets on the floor. My house will be sparkling in a matter of moments which is good - the inlaws will be here in less than one hour.

You don’t owe them an explanation, just a response.
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#22 of 75 Old 08-11-2010, 02:35 AM
 
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Well, AF sucks, BC sucks, maybe menopause isn't so bad?

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#23 of 75 Old 08-11-2010, 10:04 AM
 
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that's what I am saying.

You don’t owe them an explanation, just a response.
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#24 of 75 Old 08-11-2010, 02:28 PM
 
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"They" sure make it sound bad - drugs for it and everything. But "they" also say childbirth is bad - drugs for it and everything. Is there a menopause forum around here so we can find out the truth? (But I'm still not admitting I'm old )

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#25 of 75 Old 08-11-2010, 02:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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When do they transition from diapers to potty at night? Liam will occasionally nap without a diaper (like he is now). About half the time he wakes up wet. He almost always wakes up wet in the morning.

The last week and a half he's been waking up at 3am or so. I think part of it is related to pottying, the other has to do with him wanted to sleep with Andrew. He's been sleeping all night in his bed for over a year but it seems like having Andrew coming and going is really taking a toll on him. I think he just wants more time with him because he's not interested in me at all at night, he just wants to lay with Andrew. And then when he gets up to leave for work at 5 Liam will ask me where he's going and if he's home, he will eventually go back to sleep but nights are really rough for everyone.

We have a lot going on in the next few weeks. We're supposed to go to NY for the Komen Race for the Cure in September with my IL's and lots of other family, they do it every year for my FIL's late sister. Then the Army/Navy football game is also that weekend. I think we're going to eliminate a lot of the hassle and just fly. On the 27th of this month we have another formal to go to because they had extra tickets they needed to get rid of so they forced Andrew to go.

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#26 of 75 Old 08-11-2010, 03:18 PM
 
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When do they transition from diapers to potty at night?
DS was 2 3/4. J is making the transition now (but she doesn't potty at night - just holds it all night.) DD1 was 4 - probably more like 4 1/2. Like everything else, it really depends on the child.

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#27 of 75 Old 08-13-2010, 01:29 PM
 
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Plaid, I know what you mean about the grabbiness. Sometimes I get so frustrated, but I have to remind myself that Aili is only nursing once a day now at bedtime except for once every week or two when she gets morning milk. She will throw a fit sometimes when I mention that it is not time for that, but most days she begrudgingly substitutes play, juice, milk, or a snack for nursing. It is so crazy how different these children can be.

Jeanine and Katie, so sorry that co-parenting has been less than equal for you. Dh is still unemployed and stays with Aili while I work FT and I think that he gets similar feelings to you sometimes. I am gone for a total of 9 hrs a day M-F and when I get home, it feels like there isn't enough time to do any of the things that I want to get done and spend time with my family. I can't even describe how big my pile of laundry is right now. And then I feel bad for getting frustrated with dh for not getting household chores done during the 9 hours that I'm gone while I'm clanking around as loudly as possible, putting away dishes from the dish washer.

Dh goes out with friends on Mon evenings and sometimes Fri nights and he deserves that personal time, but I don't even consider doing anything outside the house b/c I feel like I am missing so much anyway just by being at work for so long. But that is not fair to me either, not giving any time for myself.

I certainly don't say this to excuse or explain the husbands' behavior and thoughts, but I say it just b/c I wonder who really does have this whole thing figured out? Who has balanced their time so that nothing has to suffer and I want to know their secrets b/c I can't for the life of me figure it all out.
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#28 of 75 Old 08-17-2010, 04:52 PM
 
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So I don't mean to make it sound like my DH is awful. He's pretty aware of it not being ok to be gone a lot when I don't get to be gone at all. He went to jujitsu last night, but made sure dinner was prepped before he left, so all I had to do was finish it. He knows it will go over *a lot* better if he does that. It's taken three kids and a few "discussions" to get him there, though

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#29 of 75 Old 08-17-2010, 05:08 PM
 
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holy crap...i can't believe the meltdowns & tantrums we are dealing with. i foolishly thought that our little girl was so good & when we didn't see too much of this nonsense while she was 2, figured we were doing an ok job. but wow...we are definitely not doing an ok job! with 3 around the corner...we are seeing a whole different kid.

she turns on a dime. and when something isn't quite right, doesn't work, doesn't go the way she wants etc. she FLIPS OUT. it can be the littlest things too.

we just got back from a week in LBI with my brothers, their wives, all the kids & my mom & between our dd1 & my niece who is a year older there were tantrums multiple times each day.

i feel like i am just parenting in the moment, in survival mode. i wish we could feel more confident & as if we had some sort of control or method to our madness.

Stephanie~hippie.gifwife to Dov, mama to Ella Irie (9/24/07) & Kaya Raine (2/1/10)~our vbac.gifbaby, born 45 hours after PROM!!!
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#30 of 75 Old 08-17-2010, 05:37 PM
 
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ellairiesmom, I know what you mean. Aili has delayed reaction terrible 2's. Yesterday she had a meltdown b/c she mangled her breakfast, egg in a burrito wrap and wanted it put back together even though it was torn apart and couldn't be put back together. She was screaming and took quite a long time to calm down. I just try to remind myself that as long as we remain consistent, this is temporary and will pass. Not sure if I will still be sane when it does pass though.

Oh no, Jeanine, I didn't think that you were saying that your dh was awful. My post wasn't really a commentary on anyone's experience but my own and knowing that it is nearly impossible to find a balance b/w taking care of myself, my family, my friendships, and my work. I know that I can't be the only one who has difficulty finding the balance.
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