45 lb 19-month-old (they say she's too big!) - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 09:55 AM
 
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Could've sworn I'd seen debates about head excursion, but I guess that was for older kids who could sit up well? Whereas with a 19 month old, it'd be full spine excursion without harnessing.

It really is too stupid for words that we don't have higher RF limits here. Obviously, not generally for 19 month olds, but there are thousands of 3 year olds who could be RF if they bumped the limits up 20lbs or so.
It's not just the weight, though. The height limits are quite... limiting too. I checked our carseat and it's 35 inches for height, which DD is already at, at 1.5 years old. We don't have a car and she's rarely, rarely ever in our carseat but still, it is annoying.
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#62 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 10:04 AM
 
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As to the OP. I'd just reiterate what others have said. It doens't hurt to get this checked out for piece of mind. FWIW, DD is at the very top of the weight AND height charts (since birth she's consistently stayed in the 92-97th percentiles). I don't have her 18 month stats because we haven't been to the pediatrician yet but she's probably 30-34lbs (we've weighed her on a homescale on occasion). She also is in the 97th+ for head circumference. So even being at the very top of height/head circumference she's still much less than 10lbs under your daughter. Also, both DH and I come from families where very, very few of the guys are under 6 feet (DH himself is 6 feet 2 inches). Honestly, I couldn't imagine another 10 lbs on her. She's already got a belly. We don't feed her any junk food (although she asks for it a lot and I know they give her some stuff at daycare but we bring healthy snacks with to limit that) and she's still nursing a ton. I'd say the vast majority of her weight is in her head, though.

The fact that you are still nursing and it sounds like she's eating healthy has to make you wonder what's going on. I think someone else made a very good point about making a food diary and really looking into blood tests. That doesn't make you a bad mom for not knowing exactly what's going on from just looking at your kid. That's the reason pediatricians are there in the first place is to help you figure these things out.
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#63 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 10:59 AM
 
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I have read through most of these replies. As the mama of 3... One thing I haven't heard back in response from OP was had she taken baby to the Pediatrician?
It's simple, other's have questioned maybe baby is too big. and obviously you deeply question it as well or you wouldn't have posted here. No one on here is saying you are doing anything wrong, however sometimes as parents we are blinded by the beauty of our children and don't want to notice things.

I ask you again OP, have you taken baby to Pedi? and what did they say? if they said he's healthy perfect for size then no problems...

are you and or DH obese? I don't mean this in any insulting way, but these things are genetic.... good luck!
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#64 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 12:07 PM
 
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My partner who is a pediatric nurse said first that obviously you can't diagnose without knowing the child. But he did say it was highly unusual and that she should get checked out. He mentioned right off the bat that it could be that she has growth hormone, which makes kids grow unusually big. Whether that's a problem or not, and whether there's something to do to address it, both depend on the individual kid. But it's worth getting checked out.

I know the OP came on hoping for a resounding "they're crazy - trust your instincts" response and didn't get it so that must be frustrating. But I'm hoping you check back in and consider getting some specialized help. It's nothing about your parenting or lifestyle that's at issue - it's something biologically inherent it seems and is worth checking out.
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#65 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 12:45 PM
 
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It's not just the weight, though. The height limits are quite... limiting too. I checked our carseat and it's 35 inches for height, which DD is already at, at 1.5 years old. We don't have a car and she's rarely, rarely ever in our carseat but still, it is annoying.
The overall height limits are BS since leg length doesn't matter at all. An_Aurora has a great tutorial about how to actually check that your child fits properly RF--i.e. with 1" of hard shell above their head. Ask in the safety forum.
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#66 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 02:49 PM
 
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Some kids are just big. I have one of them. 50lbs at almost 3. 41". Hopefully she'll grow up some more before she grows out.

We offer a healthy diet, DD eats it or not but doesn't appear to eat more than any other kid.

It never hurts to check to be sure all systems are go and I would go to the ped. Beyond that keep doing what you're doing and if she doesn't seem to thin out, start trying to get her more active. That is what we are doing, focusing on activity and not worrying about the food. She can diet when she's done growing.

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#67 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 03:05 PM
 
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is she really tall? my 5 year old is 35 lbs
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#68 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 03:17 PM
 
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I have to say that while I lean heavily toward 'trust your instincts' this is something I would want checked out. My DS has a minor birth defect that didn't become apparent until he was closer to a year. I thought he was perfect & seemed so healthy, so even bringing it up to the doctor was... tough. I didn't want to even CONSIDER that he might not be 100% 'normal'... But we ended up getting it checked out (just needed some bloodword & an xray) and now we are fully confident that it's not 'something to worry about' (and when someone comments on it we are able to calmly say, "It's just a birth defect, he's totally healthy, he can have surgery to correct it when he's older if he chooses.") I'm not clear from your posts whether you've had your DD checked out already. If you have, then just say, "The doctor says she's fine," or whatever -- that tends to shut people up. Otherwise, I would strongly encourage you to have her evaluated -- for possible hormonal or metabolic issues, or maybe a thyroid issue... She is not at the very bottom or very top of the charts -- she's OFF the charts, and it doesn't hurt to just make sure there's nothing more serious underlying her size.

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#69 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 03:36 PM
 
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i wish the original poster would come back and update.

my only question at this point is why you seem hesitant, reluctant, perhaps even unwilling to consider a doctor visit when many like-minded mamas have suggested. perhaps i'm reading your most recent post wrong, but it doesn't seem like it's something you want to do. your daughter could be just fine. she also may need some kind of attention. a visit couldn't hurt, right?

hoping for a !
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#70 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 03:37 PM
 
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#71 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 03:45 PM
 
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I think it might be perfectly normal and healthy for her, but it does sound like her weight is clearly out of the realm of normal for most 18 mo olds. I have known some super big and super pudge babes, but I haven't met one quite that big yet, so it's surprising to me and probably to others as well.

It's kinda like a 8 yr old boy I know who is about as tall as I am (5'5"). He's gonna be really really tall. He has the genetics. Both his parents were over 6 ft and his dad was close to 7 ft. He's healthy and happy and his height is really not normal at all. It's not pathological or a cause for concern, but it's not normal.

Maybe y'all just grow 'em big and there maybe something to people being more concerned about it on a girl than on a boy, but it is pretty different. Was your son also in this weight range at this age?

If she nurses a lot you may just make some super premium milk. I knew a little guy one time who was the hugest roly poly baby I had ever seen. He was so cute with rolls and rolls of baby fat like the Michelin man. He was breastfed exclusively (mom's a LLL leader). Now, at about 5 yrs he's tall and slim and not a bit pudgy.

I can't really judge if she's healthy or not, but if your doctor and you and your DH both think she is then you're obviously going to be a better judge of her heakth than a buncha folks on teh interwebz.

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#72 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 03:53 PM
 
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Some kids are just big. I have one of them. 50lbs at almost 3. 41". Hopefully she'll grow up some more before she grows out.

We offer a healthy diet, DD eats it or not but doesn't appear to eat more than any other kid.

It never hurts to check to be sure all systems are go and I would go to the ped. Beyond that keep doing what you're doing and if she doesn't seem to thin out, start trying to get her more active. That is what we are doing, focusing on activity and not worrying about the food. She can diet when she's done growing.

V
I have already told the OP to go to the doctor if she is truly concerned...

but on the subject of big kids, my nephew was just above 30lbs at 18 months and he was solid. He did not look 30lbs. But, when you picked him up he felt like a brick. He wasn't tall. He was only maybe a half a head taller than my shrimp. And, he was not fat. He had no gut. He was just solid. He was dense. healthy.

So, I actually could imagine him with a couple more lbs. Certainly, if he was taller and actually had some fat.

He was also bf and ate only healthy foods. His mom is well educated when it comes to all that. However he ate a lot and darn near everything you put in front of him. So, when I said I think 'healthy' when I see big toddlers (specifically under 2), I guess I was primarily thinking of him.

Also, he has hardly gained any weight in 6 months. He is growing "up" though. My DD has not gained much weight at all either for that matter.

I am hoping that the '45 lbs' is a bit exaggerated or that the scale is broken. I do trust the OP. If the OP says she is perfect, I believe her. My nephew was/is beyond perfect.
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#73 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 03:54 PM
 
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How are you weighing her? On an adult scale at home? Those can be notoriously inaccurate.
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#74 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 04:31 PM
 
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How are you weighing her? On an adult scale at home? Those can be notoriously inaccurate.
Not quite as bad if you do the "hold the kid then subtract the adult's weight" method but definitely if she's standing on the scale herself, scales just aren't calibrated well at the low end.
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#75 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 04:36 PM
 
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My DS2 was 33 lbs. at 18 months. He was consistently at least 2 lines *above* the 95th percentile line on those charts at the dr's office. Luckily our dr. was laid back and did not see anything wrong with his progression -- and once he got the hang of walking and running he slimmed down quickly anyway. Now he's actually ON the charts, LOL!

At 2 1/2 he's still around 34 pounds, and that puts him up at the top still, 90-95th%. 45 pounds is more like what my six-year-old weighs, and he's almost 4 feet tall.

I am guessing the OP hasn't been going in for well baby visits, or someone would've at least said something. I was also thinking that this was a "home" weigh-in -- my own home scale is at least five pounds off the dr's scale, I know this because I weighed myself on both one day last week.

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#76 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 04:41 PM
 
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My dd was 35 pounds at 16 months. I don't remember how bit my older dd was at that age but she must have been about the same. The little one is still a toddler and still pretty solid, though she doesn't look that big. In addition to being a high weight, she's really tall. The older one though is now quite slender despite her chunky toddlerhood. She was still almost completely EBF at 18 months so it wasn't that she was being overfed.

I guess it seems like if she's eating healthy food and choosing for herself how much of it she eats, it's probably the right weight for her at this time. They lose a lot of it as they get older and start running around. But you could check with a dr. to see if there's some health issue that's causing problems. If you don't let her decide when she's hungry and how much to eat and whether to eat at any given time, then I would give her that power. I think we as parents (not specifically you necessarily as I don't know you, but generally parents I've seen) tend to really push eating with toddlers for some reason. Younger children too. "You need a few more bites" kind of thing.
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#77 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 06:20 PM
 
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I don't think anyone is trying to insult you, just show you the truth. 45 lbs is grossly obese in a 1 1/2 year old. Having everyone tell it is all right is unfair to your daughter. No one is saying you are over feeding her or feeding her poorly. Just get it checked it is not healthy for her bones to carry all that weight.
Also you said you give her Soy. Soy is NOT healthy in the form that most Americans eat it. Soy can actually cause you to get fat by increasing the estrogen in your body and other factors. I would discontinue use and do some research on the truths about soy food products.

Here is one article on the matter but there are many more.

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Myth-A...at?&id=1516579

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#78 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 07:40 PM
 
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but on the subject of big kids, my nephew was just above 30lbs at 18 months and he was solid. He did not look 30lbs. But, when you picked him up he felt like a brick. He wasn't tall. He was only maybe a half a head taller than my shrimp. And, he was not fat. He had no gut. He was just solid. He was dense. healthy.

So, I actually could imagine him with a couple more lbs. Certainly, if he was taller and actually had some fat.
There is a big difference between an 18 month old weighing 30 pounds and one weighing 45 pounds - that is a 50% increase and I'm assuming would look dramatically different on a little body.

Regardless, unless we know how tall this little guy is there is no way to know how appropriate his weight may be.
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#79 of 111 Old 08-03-2010, 10:31 PM
 
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I should have provided better information, but I just assumed that people in this forum would think of me as a fellow Mothering-forum-type mom, who supports healthy eating, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, etc. I can get it when outsiders from my family think my daughter is abnormal, but when other mothers on this forum, who, on average, support and understand MANY seemingly 'abnormal' parenting and child-related ideas and experiences (breastfeeding past 6 months, cosleeping, child-led weaning), aren't any more open-minded to my experience and my daughter's experience, I'm frustrated.

I'm only a mother of two, but from what I've seen, there is no real 'normal' when it comes to baby development. My friend's child didn't start talking until he was almost 2, but now he's one of the smartest kids in his class, it just happened late for him.

And my son has always been the tallest kid in his class, and when he was 2-4, people always thought he was a year older than he actually was.

All babies are different. I don't think my daughter is abnormal. All outward signs say she's really healthy, and just different. I am with her all the time and a very attentive mother. I feel like I would recognize if this was a health issue.
It has nothing to do with you not recognizing a health issue, you are a mom, not a doctor. My own son was born with a CHD and I did not know, that doesn't make me a bad mom it means I'm not a cardiologist. Please don't be offended by the responses, no one has claimed that you are not a good mother or that you don't practice AP. Based on the info you have provided I agree that, yes, 45 lbs at that age is quite high and personally I'd want to bring her in to rule out a few things. Just for a little perspective: my 7.5 yr old son is 50 lbs and he's of average size. The fact that you've posted makes me think that maybe in the back of your mind you worry that something may be off too.

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#80 of 111 Old 08-04-2010, 12:51 AM
 
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There is a big difference between an 18 month old weighing 30 pounds and one weighing 45 pounds - that is a 50% increase and I'm assuming would look dramatically different on a little body.

Regardless, unless we know how tall this little guy is there is no way to know how appropriate his weight may be.
You are right, but that was not my point. My point was that he was so darn heavy for not looking it. He did not look much bigger than my 19 lb 19 month old at the time and was over 10 lbs heavier. I want to say he was 32 lbs or so. So, anyway... He was just dense. That is what I want to stress. Had he been taller and actually looked chubby on top of being dense he could have easily weighed 40lbs.

So, yeah, I actually can imagine a healthy looking 40 lb 19 month old. My other point was that my nephew gained weight like it was his job up until about 19 months and then completely stalled out.
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#81 of 111 Old 08-04-2010, 01:13 AM
 
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I've known people who have had large babies and toddlers, a baby who weighed 24 lbs at 3 months, another who weighed 33 lbs at a year, and they basically just grew into their weight and are lean now at an older age. So I don't know if 45 pounds at 19 months fits into that or not. Are you taking your child in for regular check-ups, and if so, what does the doctor say?
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#82 of 111 Old 08-04-2010, 01:28 AM
 
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I am not a doc person, I don't do well childs or things like that. I also believe that, from what you posted, you are feeding her well with breastmilk and healthy foods. It sounds like she is getting good activity and you are doing all the "right" things. It is because of all of that, that I would actually agree with everyone else to have her checked. She is very much out of the range of normal and there is no obvious reason for it. That is why I think it's worth checking the medical side, just to certain/safe. There is no way for you to know if there is a thyroid or adrenal or hormonal problem. That is not poor/neglectful/oblivious parenting, those are unseen things. There would be no way for you to know them. I hope that you are able to sit with the feedback you have been given and recieve it in the spirit it was intended, even though it is certainly not what you were expecting or wanting. I hope that you will have your DD evaluated to rule out any potential issues and you could then deal with them or feel certain in the fact that she is just a large child and this is her normal.

Best wishes OP.

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#83 of 111 Old 08-06-2010, 07:55 PM
 
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Looks like OP checked out of this thread awhile back (unless I'm missing a post) but it really stands out to me that at no point did OP indicate whether she's had this conversation with her Ped!

OP, just in case you're still reading, you go through great lengths to say you'd know or notice if your DD had medical issues. The bottom line is, you are not a Ped, and while by no means do I think Ped's are all-knowing and always right, they DO have an area of expertise that can be very useful (even necessary) with questions like this.

It troubles me that you don't or won't just take your DD to your Ped and ask their opinion. You don't have to do anything you're horribly uncomfortable with (like some said your ped will say "put her on a diet") - you should simply ask what the medical consequences of following and not following your doc's advice are and then use your best judgement in the best interest of your child.

And that's all IF you even disagree or are concerned with what your Ped says - you may not even feel that way!

But the bottom line is your DD **IS** way off the charts on the weight chart and why would you NOT want to make sure you've gathered all the information that could be relevant about her, for her own health? Again, you can do more research/ask more experts/do whatever follow up you need to if you are concerned about the response. But your daughter is not within what most charts consider the "normal" weight range, and despite the fact that your husband had a similar pattern, why wouldn't you check it out with your Ped?

Last thing, it's certainly a good sign and hopeful that your DH did have that same pattern. Seems very possible nothing is wrong at all, you just have a girl who is much bigger than most her age, end of story.

But what if there's more to her weight than that, and she's got a condition you could be doing something about? It seems more about you than your DD that you would hold so firmly to *your* opinions and feelings about this while refusing to ask someone whose career is supposed to be about helping kids to be ok.
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#84 of 111 Old 08-07-2010, 01:44 PM
 
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I just finished looking through the thread. I have big boys but none have gotten to the size of your dd. I would ask your ped for some testing. There are many things that can cause growth like that. I didnt see where you posted how tall she is. My DS4 is off the chart in height and was about 30lbs at his 18 month check up.
There are some genetic things that can come into play and some way more serious things like tumors on the putitiary gland .... I would be worried sick till I found out for sure that there wasnt some underlying cause in her rapid growth. Hugs to you and your family.

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#85 of 111 Old 08-07-2010, 03:34 PM
 
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I can understand that if the OP's not doing well child visits and not wanting to go the whole medical route if not absolutely necessary, she may not feel this situation warrants a doctor visit. Remember, she is with her child all the time and she sees how healthy she is. We really don't know her child or even how tall her child is.

Yes, she posted here in order to to get some feedback from other AP mamas. Now she may be stepping back to just watch her child and see, and process all the information she's been taking in.

I remember when I started feeling a growing concern that one of my own children had some special needs. At first I was scared to have her evaluated because I literally thought that if someone felt medication or treatment was warrented, I could be pressured into it or seen as a neglectful parent.

I found out that this doesn't seem to be the case -- at least for kids with sensory issues; the resources for helping special needs kids are so overloaded that they honestly don't hunt you down if you decide that what they have to offer isn't the right thing for your child. It's easy to drop out.

But I'm honestly not sure if it's so easy to drop out of the medical system if the doctor feels that your child is too heavy. I recall some news story several years back about a little girl who was taken, screaming, from her parents and placed in foster care because she was obese and they wouldn't make her diet.

I realize that's an extreme response, so I'm not saying it's even likely, but it doesn't seem exactly far-fetched, to me, for a parent to have concerns about what might get set "in motion" if they seek medical advice but then decide to drop out.

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#86 of 111 Old 08-07-2010, 04:34 PM
 
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I recall some news story several years back about a little girl who was taken, screaming, from her parents and placed in foster care because she was obese and they wouldn't make her diet.
This story? Long story short, this 3-year old-weighed 130 lbs, and was removed from her parent's custody. Mind you, they'd been seeking answers to her size (not just weight- she was 3x heavier than an average 3-year-old, but also 50% taller, and had a full set of teeth by a year of age,) since she was a few months old, and all doctors were perplexed.

After they were told to cut her down to 500 calories a day (and failed to do so) the child was taken into state custody. After a legal battle, starring many volunteers, they got the child back. 4 years later, she weighs 105 lbs, is on a fairly restrictive diet, and is in a swim club 3 days a week. So, at 7 years, she is still heavier than most kids her age, but is in good health, as was she at the time of her removal.

Doctors aren't out to kill you or your children. Childbirth isn't inherently safe. Science is actually smarter than your intuition. Lighten up. Use sunscreen.

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#87 of 111 Old 08-08-2010, 12:04 AM
 
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Dear OP, Looks like you've gotten an earful here. I just want to say that my baby girl was a huge 32lb at 10mo, and at that age exclusively breastfed. I got comments frequently about how big she was and friends and family saying, are your sure she's healthy and normal? I knew of big babies, but none even close to ours. Our pediatrician recommended taking her to a pediatric endocrinologist to have her tested. My intuition said that she is totally healthy and going was a waste of time, but for peace of mind we did it, and the tests came out normal. She's now 3.5 yo and tall for her age and just normal/stocky. So I hope the story is the same for you and your girl! Your feeling that she is healthy is probably right on.
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#88 of 111 Old 08-08-2010, 04:50 AM
 
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Yes, Erin, I think this is the story that I was thinking of. Thank you for the link to that great article! I'm glad to hear that she was reunited with her family two months later, though of course it's awful that she had to spend even two months in foster care.

Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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#89 of 111 Old 08-08-2010, 09:16 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Anandamama View Post
Dear OP, Looks like you've gotten an earful here. I just want to say that my baby girl was a huge 32lb at 10mo, and at that age exclusively breastfed. I got comments frequently about how big she was and friends and family saying, are your sure she's healthy and normal? I knew of big babies, but none even close to ours. Our pediatrician recommended taking her to a pediatric endocrinologist to have her tested. My intuition said that she is totally healthy and going was a waste of time, but for peace of mind we did it, and the tests came out normal. She's now 3.5 yo and tall for her age and just normal/stocky. So I hope the story is the same for you and your girl! Your feeling that she is healthy is probably right on.
The good thing is that you DID get her checked out . That's all everyone is encouraging the OP to do. Just check things out for the same peace of mind that you did

Mama to one 2 yr. old tornado banana.gif
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#90 of 111 Old 08-08-2010, 01:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ErinYay View Post
This story? Long story short, this 3-year old-weighed 130 lbs, and was removed from her parent's custody. Mind you, they'd been seeking answers to her size (not just weight- she was 3x heavier than an average 3-year-old, but also 50% taller, and had a full set of teeth by a year of age,) since she was a few months old, and all doctors were perplexed.

After they were told to cut her down to 500 calories a day (and failed to do so) the child was taken into state custody. After a legal battle, starring many volunteers, they got the child back. 4 years later, she weighs 105 lbs, is on a fairly restrictive diet, and is in a swim club 3 days a week. So, at 7 years, she is still heavier than most kids her age, but is in good health, as was she at the time of her removal.
I went looking for an update on this story, because I remembered it, but it seemed like more than 4 years ago. I was right - here's a newer update on her if you're interested http://rdmag.com/News/FeedsAP/2010/0...s-with-weight/ It's been 9 years - she's 12 years old, 5-3, and 300 lbs. She has finally been dx'd as diabetic and put on Metformin which has stopped her weight gain (although she isn't losing). Unless she and her parents are completely lying to everybody, she is eating a majorly calorically restricted diet and excercising frequently andstill not losing any weight. There's obviously something medical going on, but nobody has been able to tell them what (aside from the new diagnosis of diabetes). The details of their case with social services are really horrifying . Racism and classism played a huge part in her removal from her family .
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