Extremely clingy 3yo - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-11-2010, 05:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Our son is 2 months shy of 3. We spent most of July travelling, and since we've been back at home he is my constant shadow. He rejects his mother and comes to me for everything. This isn't like him.

It's to the point where I have no freedom to do anything. Even popping into the garage to grab something out of the car is a huge screaming deal if I don't take him with me. And when my wife tried to help him with his bath earlier tonight, he screamed and wanted out of the tub. He was fine as long as I was there.

And getting him to sleep at night -- what a nightmare. He wiggles, whines, and requires that I stay with him or he screams his fool head off (waking his 6 month old brother).

We (wife and me) are at the end of our rope with him, and the division he is causing is really damaging our relationship ...
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Old 08-11-2010, 01:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Maybe I should also mention - he gets extremely jealous if I do anything with his little bro. And he butts in when I'm talking to his mamma. All of this is way past the point of what's normal for a 3yo, and even more importantly, what was normal for him just a few weeks ago.
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Old 08-11-2010, 03:07 PM
 
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Perhaps the problem here is insecurity. Maybe the transition from traveling and then returning home has left him feeling vulnerable? Plus, he has a younger sibling. If he is already dealing with insecurity a younger sib would probably add to it. Just be there for him as much as you can and actively reassure him with hugs, etc. If he senses your resistance that is likely to perpetuate the insecure feelings. I know it can be difficult to manage with a child who wants to be glued to your side 24/7. Most likely this is a stage and this too will pass.

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Old 08-11-2010, 04:18 PM
 
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When my kids go through phases like that I just do my best to meet their needs. So that means I mostly give them what they want. But I don't feel bad about saying no from time to time or taking time to myself if I feel like I'm losing it.

DS (6.06), DD (10.08), DD (05.11).

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Old 08-18-2010, 06:25 PM
 
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Thanks for posting this SAH*Dad. I came on here today because I am having a hard time with a very similar situation. My husband is working ALL the time. It is just me with our almost 3 year old and son and 4 month old daughter. He will not even let me make food without whinning and crying that he doesn't want to be alone, in the same room as me playing trains while i put together a sandwich, after I've been playing with him all morning!
Reading your post reminds me that we need to treat the child not the symptom. They are probaby having a hard time transitioning into being a big brother. I don't know about you but life was very different for my lttle boy 4 months ago.
As hard as it is, it is a stage and it wont last forever. They aren't mini adults. They are children and have a totally different perspective on things then we do.
I am going to try and start giving more love, more attention, and more positivity. Hopefully then when I have to make a sandwich he'll know I'm still right here for him.
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Old 08-19-2010, 09:34 AM
 
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I can relate to this. My toddler is the same age and has been really clingy the last month or so. He became a big brother a few months ago, too. You said you just came back from vacation. How is his routine? Maybe something small (but important to him) hasn't clicked back into place? I noticed if I am trying to get things done I may forget HE wants to check the mail or sweep the porch, he has a great memory. Just a thought. Best wishes

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