The Terrible Twos - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-17-2010, 04:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My son turned two two weeks ago and Lord has it been a ride! When he doesn't get his way, he tends to fall out and have a screaming fit. He's the point that if you walk away, he will come into your line of sight and fall out. LOL I try not to laugh but it's funny.

Next up is the hitting. When he gets something taken away because he's not being nice, he will try to hit me. I try not to hit him but his hitting is coming from somewhere. I mean, he literally runs up on me and hits me and then fusses at me in gibberish.

Any suggestions on how to deal with kids at this age? Help!

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Old 08-17-2010, 04:27 PM
 
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We are in the same boat! I try to get down to his level and stop the act of hitting and tell him to be nice. I tell him to give mommy gentle rubs.

I also let the tantrum run it's course. If he is having a fit, he has a fit. I don't acknowledge it. It's usually over within a minute and then I let him kow that I understand he is mad and try to help him with whatever set him off.

My DS is also into fake crying. DH and I always chuckle at that one...its so darn cute.
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Old 08-17-2010, 05:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AKA_PI View Post
My son turned two two weeks ago and Lord has it been a ride! When he doesn't get his way, he tends to fall out and have a screaming fit. He's the point that if you walk away, he will come into your line of sight and fall out. LOL I try not to laugh but it's funny.

Next up is the hitting. When he gets something taken away because he's not being nice, he will try to hit me. I try not to hit him but his hitting is coming from somewhere. I mean, he literally runs up on me and hits me and then fusses at me in gibberish.

Any suggestions on how to deal with kids at this age? Help!
I use to just ignore it, and sometimes I still do if it is a little tantrum that she gets over soon. But for the big ones I decide to don't walk away anymore because I wasn't sure if she understand that I was ignoring her because I disaprove or she thought I just didn't care and she kept doing it.
So now when she do a tantrum, I get to her level, I put my "mad" face (like this ) and I say :"No, stop that"or what ever it is that I need her to do.
"Quinn, we have to limpia now" etc. And I don't move until she doesn't stop.
So far is working
I know is time consuming but in the long run is actually better. I hope this work for you,I know every kid is different and what works for one may not work for others. I wish it was that easy with my 12 year old, lol.

SAHM, married to my geeky husband and mom of 12 year old girl and 2year old
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Old 08-17-2010, 07:54 PM
 
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IMO the first thing you ought to do is decide what kind of discipline you are comfortable with. Then you can plan the steps you need to take, and decide not to back down..I think whatever route you decide to go, being consistent is the most important thing.
Like the previous post said, it's unlikely to be easy for the first few days, or even longer, depending on the child and how big a change in discipline technique you are talking-but if you can deal with being super-frazzled for the adjustment period, the payoff will last a lifetime!!

As for the hitting, I really think that may just be more age-related than anything. DH and I have certainly never laid an angry hand on our son, yet he's had a few instances of hitting, for which he got an immediate time-out. This has not been an issue for a while.

Hang in there!
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Old 08-18-2010, 11:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone. Normally when he does something he's not supposed to, I put him in timeout in his playpen or in his room with his baby gate up. I tell him he has 10 minutes to sit in there and calm down. After 5 minutes he's start whining and say "Mommy! Mommy out!". I then go over and sit down with him the reminder 5 minutes and talk to him about his behavior and tell him that's not nice (that's my phrase for him instead of saying 'being bad'). I'm pretty consistent with this form of discipline, as is his father.

I'm going to try that getting down to his level thing. His father and I will try talking to him first but that's kind of hard to do when he's running in circles and falling out screaming.

Thanks for the suggestions everyone.

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Old 08-18-2010, 06:33 PM
 
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Wow, I'm glad I'm not alone. I have 3 very spirited children but I don't remember things being this difficult before. I am exhausted and on the verge of having a rather large meltdown myself but I don't think they would leave me alone long enough to have one. LOL!!!

There are some good suggestions posted but I'm wondering...what can mommy do to avoid having a crying fit along with my Little Ones?

SAHM Mom of three 9, 5 and 2
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Old 08-18-2010, 11:36 PM
 
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There are some good suggestions posted but I'm wondering...what can mommy do to avoid having a crying fit along with my Little Ones?

SAHM Mom of three 9, 5 and 2
Start laughing.

one time as a "punishment" we had to say "I love you" after every single thing we said to our siblings - brought on tons of giggling

make them play holding hands, or depending on your neighborhood, have them run around the block holding hands

ETA: forgot to respond to the OP - we usually tell DS his choices are: either this or that. Most times that clears it up the screaming. I will say your choice is not to eat a cookie right now, your choices are an apple or a banana. <screaming fit> DS, I told you, your choices are apple or banana, those are your only choices right now. then he will pick one of the two = or neither, but that's fine too as long as the screaming stops

we also offer to do things for him, like do you want me to put you into bed, or do you want to do it yourself. he always wants to do it himself.

as far as hitting, i just get down on his level and tell him only gentle touches are allowed, and then have him demonstrate a gentle touch

finally, most often the reason for all these breakdown is tiredness. on no nap days i'm about ready to pull my hair out.

Mama to three

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Old 08-21-2010, 02:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm sticking to my guns and remaining consistent in the timeouts if he misbehaves. We also discuss his behavior and how "its not nice" when he acts up while we eat dinner. I know he's two but I want dinner time to be when we have discussions about our day and our behavior. Fingers crossed for me. He's still throwing temper tantrums and I'm still ignoring him when he does

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Old 08-21-2010, 08:24 PM
 
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I've read that time-outs shouldn't be more than one minute per how many years old the child is, so for a 2 year old 2 minutes is plenty. It seems like an eternity to them, and 10 minutes doesn't make things any better it just makes them madder.

I also think you might be expecting too much of him to act nicely during dinner. What does he do when he acts up? It might just be normal 2 year old behavior, and it's not really fair to punish him for that. I don't know any 2 year old that's going to sit calmly through dinnertime discussions about the day. Maybe he'd throw fewer tantrums if he didn't feel like he was being treated unfairly?
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Old 08-22-2010, 01:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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@mokey - Treated unfairly? Not the case at all. My son is a well-above average child and his behavior changed in the matter of a week at a new daycare. Its quite possible it's learned behavior and just something that I have to break him of. 2 minutes is as how it takes me to walk to his playpen. 10 minutes is quite fair and seems to be working just fine for us. Again, I only go by what works for me and this is it. And he does not act up during dinner, dinner is the time we discuss our day and our behavior. I would like to think I've set a good example for him when it comes to dinnertime routine.

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Old 08-22-2010, 04:06 PM
 
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I'm not too sure that a 2yo would have the understanding to think he/she's being treated unfairly. Children are children and it's up to us a parents to support, love and guide them as they grow and develop. Everyone of us has our own individual way of parenting and we generally use what works best for us...seeking suggestions from our peers at times.

I don't think it's fair to any parent to be judged based on what works best for their family. On the other hand when we ask our peers how they handle situations we sometimes set ourselves up for unsettling comments. But we're all entitled to our opinions.

Lastly, children need limits and generally respond well to them. I strongly believe that children raised without limits and boundaries tend to feel a sense of entitlement as they grow older. There are many peaceful and positive AP ways to raise our children and many of us use a combination to suit our needs. In other words, we should behave and set positive examples for our children so they will behave too.
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Old 08-26-2010, 12:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Update - So far things are going good. My little guy is **** having tantrums but only when he doesn't get his way. I try talking to him or redirecting his energy into something else, (Legos, coloring, etc). I think what I have on my hands is a very spirited Leo child. *shrugs* go figure. LOL I'm still working in the pacifier. What I have learned though is that he freaks out around bedtime. I think he's associated it with yelling, screaming and begging. Last night we went swimming, ate dinner, watched Elmo for 30 minutes and then climbed into my bed. The lights were low, I spoke softly, I let him have his pacifier for 5 minutes and he was knocked out! LOL

He woke up this morning well-rested and less cranky. I think I'm finally starting to figure this mothering thing out.

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Old 08-26-2010, 12:59 PM
 
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I think I'm finally starting to figure this mothering thing out.
The trouble is, as soon as we figure it out, they change again!

My DD is not quite 20 months and we've been starting to see this type of behaviour. So, I don't have any advice... just taking notes.

Married to an Ogre, Mother of Danora Rose 12/31/2008 and missing Evan Michael 12/31/2008 Expecting someone new 7/11/2011
 
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