Poop in Pants, how to discuss this? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 09-07-2010, 02:45 AM - Thread Starter
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DS is almost three and potty trained himself, essentially. I was shocked he wanted to do it so early. But he won't poop on the potty. He has a few times, but he does this standing missile drop... I don't even care, as long as it gets there.

He's only sat to poop one time.

So now he's been pooping in his pants every single day for about two weeks with the exception of once. He used to not wear underpants but now I force him because he was pooping on people's floors! The poop would fall through his shorts! UGH!

I see him do the poo dance and try to take him to the potty but he WON'T GO! I don't want to force him into diapers, he doesn't want them and I don't want to regress him, but... How do I stop this?? He starts his little preschool next week.

He did tell me today that he wants to keep the poop IN, which is new, the last few times he seems to be holding his butt to keep it in. Before that he didn't seem to have an issue with keeping it in.

He's not remotely constipated, either.

THANKS for any and all help.

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#2 of 9 Old 09-07-2010, 11:08 AM
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I don't know, subbing because DS won't poop in the potty either & so we're keeping him in diapers even though he pees in the potty & it's becoming an issue....

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#3 of 9 Old 09-08-2010, 12:12 AM
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My ds is doing pretty well with pooping on a prefold (or I guess I could use a newspaper as well) that I put on the bathroom floor for him when he needs to poop. You could also use a newspaper.
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#4 of 9 Old 09-08-2010, 01:47 PM
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Originally Posted by noordinaryspider View Post
My ds is doing pretty well with pooping on a prefold (or I guess I could use a newspaper as well) that I put on the bathroom floor for him when he needs to poop. You could also use a newspaper.
And when just going in the bathroom set off insane resistance, I'd take that dedicated towel or whatever anyplace he wanted to go (tile floors). We only recently got a potty out of the living room.

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#5 of 9 Old 09-08-2010, 03:32 PM
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Are you willing to try rewards? I know there are a lot of mixed feelings about them, but it might be something to try.

I like the idea of getting a bunch of small toys, stickers, etc. and very nonchalantly putting them in a bowl in the bathroom. When he asks about them, you say (also very calmly) that they are poop prizes, for when he goes poop in the potty. Then just see what happens.

Or you could try to find some really fun underwear with his favourite character on them, or I've heard that Old Navy has some cute Halloween undies, and tell him he can have them when he starts pooping in the potty.

I would also involve him in the process of cleaning up after he poops in his pants, and even draw it out if you have to. Be very calm, but you want him to understand that it is way easier to poop in the potty than to go through the whole process of cleaning up.

Some kids just need a bit more motivation than others.

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#6 of 9 Old 09-08-2010, 05:21 PM
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I've been thinking about this all morning and for us the biggest step towards PLing was breaking the association between elimination and pants. Try to get him to poop ANYWHERE but in his pants; outside, on a diaper like pp said, in a bowl/bucket you don't care about, etc. Try to get creative. If you need it to go in the potty, get creative there. Some days my DD will only use the potty if I'm sitting on it with my pants down and she's right in front of me, or sometimes she puts on foot on each side of the potty and squats so she can see her pee/poo go in the water (I help hold her).

We also spent a lot of time talking about where pee/poo goes "In the potty!" when I wasn't trying to get her to go. We play acted with her doll and she helped her doll through the process.

I think the bottom line though is not to push him. I think the undies are a good idea b/c they will at least contain his poo, but still easy to get off for pee. Just keep involving him in putting his poo in the potty and flushing, every single time, talking to him about it, etc. and he'll eventually get there.

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#7 of 9 Old 09-08-2010, 05:39 PM
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haven;t potty trained a kid of my own but haev worked with 2 year olds. first, i 100% agree with getting him involved in the clean-up. if it's not his pants then whatever he's pooped on and get him involved with putting the poop in the potty. if it were me i might not even be so concerned about keeping the poop out of his pants and getting it into *anything.* i might insist that poop goes in the potty (or a training potty) or just let it get in his pants (yep, with underwear, to let him get that yucky feeling and then help clean it up.

but i think what may be behind his reluctance is a fear that toddlers have that when they poop they are actually losing part of themselves/part of their body which is why they hold it in and then having it go down the toilet is doubly scary. this pshychological stuff i have no idea how to get over. they do have kids books about it though.

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#8 of 9 Old 09-08-2010, 05:55 PM
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We are trying to work on bowel movement training as well.
DS is 2.5 and has been urine trained for 6 months. He even tries-hard!-to poop on the potty, but cannot seem to relax enough to do it. Plus, he's used to standing to poop.

Anyway, I definitely agree, do not pressure him, that would surely backfire.
I also feel that getting him to poop anywhere other than his pants really might send mixed signals-you want him to associate poop with the bathroom and ultimately, with the potty.

If you don't already, try jotting down when he poops each day, and anything else of note, maybe where it happened, if he had any other indicators or behaviors going on. Hopefully you can establish approximately when he poops-so you can "intervene" more at times when he's likely to make a bowel movement.

For what it's worth, here's my 2 cents:
I'd suggest first working on having him poop in the bathroom, but don't worry about him using the potty, just learning to associate bowel movements with the bathroom. With DS I put him in a diaper(since he will only poop in one, not his underpants) and he asks for privacy, so I partly close the door and stay in earshot, and check in after a few minutes.
Personally, I do offer rewards. Did it for beginning PL(just a teddy gram for going in the potty) and it worked well. I also had him help clean up accidents. Accidents were always sort of "eh, it happens" but success was lots of praise.

All that said, your son might have specific issues my son does not. It sounds like he might have some anxiety about pooping in the potty, whereas my son tries, but can't do it yet. Look around for strategies specific to potty,and especially bowel-movement related,fears and anxieties.

best of luck!!!
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#9 of 9 Old 09-08-2010, 06:26 PM
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I would concentrate on telling him to keep his underpants nice and clean. If he poops in them just say "Oh yuck, your underpants are dirty. Let's put on clean ones". Then 1000 times a day ask him "are your underpants clean?" and then get really excited when they are. We toilet trained DD last week using a 3 day system. Pees took 3 days, but the poos took about 8-10 days.

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