I am so mad at my 2 1/2 year old - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 09-10-2010, 09:19 PM - Thread Starter
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I don't know what to do. Back in June, DD started taking off her diaper and using the potty all on her own. So, we bought her underwear and after a few accidents she was using the potty full time except for nights. Most nights, though, she would be dry. Fast forward to August, and suddenly she's constantly having pee pee "accidents". I don't think they're accidents. I really think she's doing it on purpose. First of all, she never, ever has an accident outside our home, and we're on the go a lot. Second, she has made comments like, "I didn't want to go to the potty," or "I'm just going to pee right here." So, I had to get a little more proactive and start taking her to the potty every 2 hours to prevent these "accidents". Today, she peed in her pants 4 times. She'd pee and then pee an hour later before I even got a chance to take her to the potty. She isn't showing any signs of being sick. What the heck is going on? Has anyone else experienced this? Do I just put her back in diapers? I really would hate to do that since she went for 2 full months with only a few accidents.
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#2 of 6 Old 09-10-2010, 09:44 PM
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this happened over and over again with my oldest. she trained early and easy and then kept regressing and regressing. it was so frustrating for me, but through it all i learned a)not to get mad and b)not to put her back in diapers. what works for me and my kids is after two accidents (at home) they go pantless until they use the potty. they are still young so i just let them run around without any pants or undies on. i found none of my kids would pee with a bare bum it believe it WILL pass if you don't make a big deal of it and try to conceal your frustration.

Married Busy Mom to DSS 01/05, DD 11/05, DSD 11/06, DD 02/07, DS 03/08 and baby on the way 11/10
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#3 of 6 Old 09-10-2010, 11:37 PM
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Regression is so normal and SO COMMON!! First, breathe. She's not doing it on purpose to make you mad. She doesn't get why it's a big deal at all. She knows it goes in the potty, but doesn't want to put it there. It sounds like a control issue.

Did you do rewards the first time around? She might be old enough for a sticker chart type deal, where if she does go on the potty, she gets a sticker. If she gets X amount of stickers, she gets a new toy, a fun snack, etc. It might help her feel more in control of the situation.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#4 of 6 Old 09-11-2010, 12:01 AM
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My DD who is just about 2.5 did this same thing about two months ago. She's been out of diapers since 19 months with some minor regressions along the way and I have never put her back into diapers. Then in early July she started peeing in her pants, or refusing to go (it would be a major battle to get her to actually sit on the potty), etc. I totally felt the same way you did and figured she was doing it on purpose -- especially the one time I got her into the bathroom (after she told me she had to go) and then she refused to sit on the toilet and instead looked at me and peed right on the floor. I was so angry!!

We had no accident free days for a few weeks and my DH was really pressuring me to put her back into diapers (which really irritated me since I am the one that has spent so much time potty "training" her). Before I knew it, she was over it and has only had two accidents in the last month.

The one thing you might want to think about is whether anything has changed in her routine, life, etc. I know with my DD, her regression started while we were on a trip to my dad's for three weeks. I thought about it for a while and the whole thing kind of made sense. Once we got back home and settled in for a few weeks, she was totally back to normal.

Hang in there, mama!

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#5 of 6 Old 09-12-2010, 11:40 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks, ladies. It helps to know others have experienced the same frustration. 2 days ago, after 5 "accidents" I finally just put her in diapers. She was devastated. I told her that if she kept her diaper dry all day she could wear panties. She had no problem keeping the diaper dry at home. Isn't that interesting? I almost feel like we should put her in diapers at home and panties out of the house! How ironic is that?
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#6 of 6 Old 09-12-2010, 11:51 PM
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Since she doesn't like having to wear diapers, you have an easy solution, imo. Dry today= panties tomorrow, wet today= diapers tomorrow, If that stops working then I would move on to something else.

I "trained" my kids when they were around 2 1/2. I worked with them until I knew they knew that pee goes in the potty. They knew the mechanics of pulling down their panties, sitting on the potty, wiping, flushing, and hand washing. They even knew WHEN they had to go BUT, they didn't care too and kept having accidents. So, I calmly put the panties where they could access them if they chose and said "OK, I'll just keep changing your diaper until you decide you are ready." Sometime between 3 and 3 1/2 they went and put on their panties/underwear and that was it. I bet I could count on one hand the number of accidents we had.

Huge (((hugs))) on dealing with the accidents. One of the reasons I dealt with potty learning they way I did was I couldn't deal with it. I hope you continue to find solutions that work for you and your DD without either of you feeling frustrated or angry.
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