We've reached "the twos" and I'm so frustrated - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 10-03-2010, 10:18 PM - Thread Starter
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DS just turned two. Yesterday. About a month or so ago we started having discipline issues. He started to throw tantrums and hit out of frustration and anger. I figured I could deal with that. However, it's getting worse. He's now biting (I'm starting to wean him because he even bites my nipple for no reason, on purpose), smacking me in the face when he's angry, refusing to go to bed, challenging me all the time... the list goes on and on. I'm really frustrated and I'm not sure how to handle things. I don't want him to think it's ok to hit, but just saying "gentle touches only" "no hitting" or "ouch, that hurts!" doesn't work. Neither does removing him from the room and trying to give him a minute to calm down. The biting is just out of nowhere. He'll just come up and bite you. Sometimes he'll even look at you while he's doing it to see what your reaction is.
When I try and talk to him about the situation, if I'm taking him out of a situation that he needs to be removed from, or taking something from him that he can't have he smacks me in the face! I don't know where he's even seen that behavior before! We don't hit in our house.
He's also on a nap strike and refusing to go to bed before 11pm or midnight (he then sleeps for 12 hours, so he's still getting a good amount of sleep at night, but mama needs her "me" time to refresh). I just don't know what to do.
I'm trying really hard to use gentle discipline, but I'm starting to feel as if he's not learning anything. And my sanity is slipping away!
Any suggestions?
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#2 of 9 Old 10-04-2010, 11:52 AM - Thread Starter
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#3 of 9 Old 10-04-2010, 11:59 AM
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I don't have any advice, i just wanted to say hang in there and send some hugs and positive vibes. We're in the same boat with our two year old who just decided to start pushing boundaries, and it is maddening. Good luck, I hope someone chimes in with some actual advice for you, but in the meantime, you're not alone!!
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#4 of 9 Old 10-04-2010, 02:15 PM
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Cant tell you much but go with the flow. I require nap/ in your crib time. After having 3 others 1 hr away in the afternoon is required.

FYI.. 3 is MUCH worse than 2. At 2 they do things that annoy you ..3 the do them BECAUSE it annoys you

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
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#5 of 9 Old 10-04-2010, 02:28 PM
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Does he have a crib or playpen you can set him in?

With my 2's and 3's we set them in the playpen and say "biting/hitting hurts" and leave him in there for 2 minutes. Seems like its not working b/c they need everything to be repeated a zillion times ;-)

He might not need a nap anymore (sad, I know) but you can still require a rest/quiet time.
I set up a quiet corner with a huge floor pillow and books. Occasionally I'll put on a tv show or music videos. We set the timer and put it next to the little person letting them know that when the timer looks like this and sounds like this, quiet time is over. If little one gets up, we pick them up, bring them back and show them the timer. First few weeks we might/usually end up doing this for the entire rest period but they eventually get it. toddlers all about about few words and lotsa action ;-)
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#6 of 9 Old 10-04-2010, 03:10 PM
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I'm not necessarily going to be positive about this, "this too shall pass" is a mantra I spoke every.single.day. of DD's 2-3 year. Battles were most days, I was also newly pregnant and it was just plain hard. I can admit it was not my most stellar times being a parent. My DD was also ahead of the curve in the battle that is age 2-3, she did do things purposefully to annoy me. Dropped her nap at 18 months and would scream so loud i was worried the neighbors might think something was wrong. It was rough.

DD was always a button pusher, is your son like that. DD has been a spirited child and reading Raising Your Spirited Child helped me cope with the day to day struggles of her energy. Are you getting out enough? Or is that also a problem? DD would throw HUGE tantrums in public, run away, scream, leaving me to feel totally embarrassed and at a loss. She was also a biter, she did it for reaction, plain and simple. Looking back on it though it was probably a cry for more attention(my pregnancy with DS left me exhausted and sick, and no fun), she was very verbal for her age, but communication is SO HARD for them. Physical communication is big for the 2 set, they just don't have the verbal skills to tell you what they need.

I have to say for me 18 months to about 2.5 were the hardest my DD ever has been so far. She's 4 now and I can attest she is so much better, we have our days, but they are much better and we both cope much better too.

Hang in there, go over to the GD board and ask for some advice, they can be very helpful.

Me Wife to T (14 years)Mama to Princess(4) and Monster Boy(my 1 year old ):
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#7 of 9 Old 10-07-2010, 04:25 PM
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I am going through this very thing with my son! The daycare has called me two days in a row to say he has bit another child. He just started doing this out of the blue. He gets plenty of rest and has tons of things to keep him entertained. I've tried talking to him but I'm a loss. I don't know what to do and I'm getting frustrated. Hugs to you because we are in the same boat.

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#8 of 9 Old 10-07-2010, 04:55 PM
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DS (27 months) has "a phase" as well (at least I hope it is a phase). For him it gets worse when he's hungry and when he's tired AND hungry... it is really bad. Needless to say we feed him all day long (he seems to be growing) and I practise a lot of playful parenting. I think all of his stuffed animals have brushed his teeth so far, but at least we get through it without a tantrum.

When he's hitting I try to redirect to something funny. Please don't hit me, but I do like..cuddling, tickling, running, playing hide and seek, whatever. Anything to take his mind of hitting. He had a phase of biting, so I gave him his lovey and told him to bite that instead of me. He really likes chewing on it so he hasn't bitten me since. I try to focus on what he can do, and not what he cannot do.
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#9 of 9 Old 10-08-2010, 11:28 AM
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Wow! I think, if he were my son, I would get him up in the morning feed, and dress him and then take him for a LOOOONG walk or take him to the park for 2-3 hours. Then I would come home and feed him lunch and try to nurse him down. Maybe he will be too tired to bite. He sounds like he has a lot of energy and just hasn't figured out what to do with all of it. Run him!

Stephanie-33 lucky mama of 5 precious ones: DD-12, DS-9 , DS-6 , and DD-3 and Bridget Alannah  SHE'S ONE NOW! loving wife to DH-38
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