I'm crushed. Is this normal? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 10-10-2010, 06:56 PM - Thread Starter
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Is it normal for a 27 month old to suddenly decide he prefers his dad over his mom? Recently, he has been going to dad for everything he used to come to mom (me) for. Example: he pinched his finger in something and started to cry. I went to go hug him and said "awww its okay bug" and he runs past me to his dad and shaking his head "no!" and reaching up for dad to pick him up. When he gets home with dad, he doesn't come look for me right away. It's not fair....dad is at work from 7am-6pm. When he is home he rarely has to discipline him.....just take him potty, feed and play with him. All he wants me for is milkies. Also,
this started 2 days ago....right after I cut my hair super short as a last resort to get my son to stop ripping it out and sometimes eating it. Which is another thing...is it normal for a toddler to still be pulling moms hair and even ingesting it? Do they out grow these things? I know I shouldn't be but, I feel hurt.
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#2 of 10 Old 10-10-2010, 07:01 PM
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Yeah it's normal. Most toddlers go through a phase where they start favouring one parent over the other. In a few day, weeks or months he'll likely switch over and start preferring you over his dad. He working through the idea of being connected to two different people than just one main person.

It's also normal to feel hurt. But they do out grow it eventually.

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#3 of 10 Old 10-10-2010, 07:04 PM
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Don't feel hurt. Just be happy that he has this relationship with his dad. But don't enjoy it too much as it will pass too. Soon, he will pick you again.
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#4 of 10 Old 10-11-2010, 07:42 PM
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I'd be thrilled!

My dd LOVED my hair until she was 2.5 or 3, mostly just fiddling with it rather than pulling it or eating it. She has a "mama hair doll" made with my hair that she still sleeps with at 3.5
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#5 of 10 Old 10-11-2010, 09:31 PM
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My DS went through a week of this already! he was only 9 1/2 months! I was just a wet nurse and it was all about Daddy.

Be happy he has such a great relationship with his father not all kids do, and its not always Daddy's fault. My nieces have only recently warmed up to BIL and I think that's just because he's been home (out of work) a lot more. they're 28 and 14 months old.

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#6 of 10 Old 10-11-2010, 10:11 PM
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I don't know about the hair thing but I do know that it's definitely normal for toddlers to prefer one parent over the other at certain times. I am soooo looking forward to my 27 month old twins letting dh take over some of the parenting duties. I'm sure I will miss the "mamaaaaaa, mamaaaaa" all day long but I'll take my chances . I know it'll come back around.

Karen - spouse to dh for 11 years, mama to ds (Nov '02), dd (May '05) and ds and dd (Jun '08)

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#7 of 10 Old 10-12-2010, 01:30 AM - Thread Starter
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Thank you for putting me at ease
I am very grateful that ds and daddy are close. I have an awesome hubby
I guess what was bothering me was that he actually ran from me. It's gotten better today.
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#8 of 10 Old 10-12-2010, 01:36 AM
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My LLL leader told me that psychologically, toddlers can really only bond with one person at a time. So when they bond with one person they will reject another. It doesnt mean they dont love you, its just all their mind can handle.

We went to my moms for about a week and DD spent a lot of time with my mother. DD was constantly telling my mom not to share with me, and she was telling me to go away because she wanted to be with only my mom. I couldnt look at my moms birds because they were for her to look at from gramma. I wasnt allowed to have a bite of her toast because it was from gramma. I didnt feel hurt as I knew she was having lots of fun and forming a bond with my mom.

When we got home it was back to the way it was.

Mama to L (7) and A (born 7/15 by VBAC)
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#9 of 10 Old 10-12-2010, 06:47 AM
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I am having the same thing going on here.. Daddy, Daddy, daddy. I can't hear it anymore

As for the hair problem. Sounds like Pica. Look it up. He may have some kind of deficincy...

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#10 of 10 Old 10-12-2010, 11:08 AM
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DS 1 was very much a 'daddy's boy', DS 2 has always preferred me. I did miss the snuggles with DS 1 sometimes, but I was so happy he had that relationship with his dad. His dad is away for now, and he is closer to me out of necessity, but I know he's missing his dad terribly.
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