Need help. DS is sooo clingy - strange behavior - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 11-01-2010, 12:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My DS is almost 27mo. Also have a 6mo. We AP, partially bed share & try to use GD - just a little background.

He is so clingy with his mama. It is over the top at times & is starting to worry me & drive me crazy at the same time. I dont even know how to fully explain it. I always give him as much affection as he wants thinking as he ages there may come a day he wont want hugs from me

All day long it is constant 'Mama huggies' - gripping my leg almost pulling me down. He is terrible with strangers - very shy. Quite anti social actually if its not immediate family. Any new situation I have to hold him. He gets scared a lot especially if it is something he never saw/heard/experienced before. is any of this normal?

Today we made the rounds for halloween visiting family. At our last stop he displayed such horrible behavior. We were at my SILs. They are people that he knows well - they watch him e/o week for me for a few hrs. He didnt want to leave the room I was in except for a few min & then came running in 'mama hugga'. he was in tears more than once bec he was without me & completely freaked when my SIL & BIL changed him into his PJs while I was 5 ft away BF my DD. He kept screaming Mama. DH took him to the car to leave & DS meltd down even with DH until I made my way out.

I am tired of people commenting on him being a mamas boy, too attached, not able to play with other kids, etc...

How much of it is normal if any of it at all? How can I get him to be more independent or even be OK with me in the same room without needing to be physically attached to me?

I started him in a music class one day a week. He just sits in my lap almost frozen & barely participates. It has been 3 classes now & there are only 2 other younger kids in it.

I have taken him to mommy & me type gym classes & he is glued to me at first & then plays on his own not wanting a thing to do with other kids or group activities. I am going to keep doing this weekly & hope it gets better.

Help/advise please

 Wife of 10 yrs to Oaties, Mama to Bubs 08/06/08, Rizie 04/19/10 & MRae 02/02/13 & to dog2.gif

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#2 of 5 Old 11-01-2010, 12:54 AM
 
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Sounds totally normal to me at that age, totally!

If you were in a moms club or went regularly to a library storytime, I think you'd see that a number of the other children would be just like that. I don't think that his curretnt
behaviour can predict how he will be when he's 3
or 4 or 5, either. Just cuddle him as much as you can and make him happy now.
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#3 of 5 Old 11-01-2010, 01:38 AM
 
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from the kids I've worked with and been around, a lot go through a clingy stage at that age, and it's usually magnified if there's a newer baby (who at 6 months is probably interacting a lot more, and he's recognizing the baby as a person). definitely keep giving him lots of attention and make sure there's some one-on-one time in there (even if it's just 15 minutes in the evening when their dad can take your DD). and keep giving him opportunities to interact with other people. He'll reach a more independent stage soon enough.

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#4 of 5 Old 11-01-2010, 01:55 AM
 
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If it helps any, my DD is the same age and I have a 3 month old, and we're going through the WORST clingy phase I've ever encountered! She won't go to class at our gym, she won't leave the room I'm in, she won't let me leave the room to GO FREAKING PEE.

It's not fun.

But, I do know it's a phase, so my only desperate advice is to ride it out. This too shall pass, and one day you'll wonder what happened when they sail out the door to 'hang out' with their friends.

GOOD moms let their kids lick the beaters. GREAT moms turn off the mixer first!
Humanist Woman Wife , & Friend Plus Mama to 6 (3 mos, 2, 9, 13, 17, 20)
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#5 of 5 Old 11-02-2010, 05:54 AM
 
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I remember one day when a friend was over, thinking I could SHUT THE BATHROOM DOOR - what a treat! My then 25 month old freaked - screaming, crying, plastered to the door. I felt so awkward and defensive, and started to say something to explain to my friend.

She stopped me cold - her two boys were with a full-time caregiver while I was home with my children. She said " Wow, my boys didn't do that - I wonder if they love me that much?"

Gave me a different perspective. And, the older children do often and willingly spend time without me, and no longer need to cling to my leg, either.

Milo

....living, learning and loving everyday with the Sweet Pea Bridgade
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