is this b/c i'm working more or just an age thing? (x-posted in wking parents) - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-04-2010, 05:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i'm frustrated and want to know if there is anything i can/should do... or if this is just an age thing.

dd is 15 mo. i work part-time out of the house (20-25 hrs a week), but it's spread out over 6-7 days a week. my schedule is pretty inconsistent: some days I'm only gone 2 hours, others 9, though on the long days i always have at least a couple hours with her in the middle. I gradually built up to this, and have only been working this much the past two months or so. up until dd was 11 months, i never left her for any significant amount of time. we are very attached. my mom watches her most of the time and is the only person she doesn't mind being left with. but lately she's been having a really tough time — she's been very sensitive and clingy. when i'm around her she is pretty irritable, throwing tantrums and needing to be held by me constantly. i feel a tremendous amount of guilt for being gone so often (and sometimes a tremendous amount of guilt the days that i'm glad i'm working). she's always been pretty high needs but it seems like she's getting more needy and demanding. like yesterday, she would just scream for several minutes at a time, then be okay for a few minutes and then start screaming again. all. day. long. my mom says she doesn't do it when i'm not around, but as soon as i'm there she's constantly amping out. i'm worried that the hectic schedule is getting to her. or am i just projecting?
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Old 11-04-2010, 06:35 PM
 
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I work PT also (from home, I swear it's worse for him, I think he thinks when I'm in my office I'm intentionally ignoring him )
but my 18m old has been doing this for a little while too. Just screaming his face off for no reason. He also bites and throws tantrums.

no advice, just sympathies.

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Old 11-04-2010, 11:56 PM
 
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My 17mo DD is doing the same as well. I'm thinking its just the age. It makes for some VERY rough days.

Me and DH, parents to:

DD1 (06/09), Twin DD2 and DS1 (born 3/12- 6 weeks early due to IUGR)

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Old 11-05-2010, 12:22 AM
 
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My daughter did that at that age, and I was home with her full-time. So I think it's the age!

She also quit napping entirely at that age, and those two things combined drove me to put her in preschool a couple days a week... Don't feel guilty about enjoying the "break" of working! But I also found that the more I could go ahead and hold DD, nurse her, and let her be clingy, the quicker she got over those stages. So I would say just sit down with your DD, focus totally on her, and hold her constantly when you are home as much as you can stand to do that. That whole half-year age (from around 15 to 20 months) was just really rough for us. Age 2 is actually a lot easier than 1, IMO! (But I hear that 3 is a doozy...)

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Old 11-05-2010, 12:32 AM
 
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My DD was a wreck from 16-ish month to oh 2.5. She was ahead of the curve with the Tyrannical Threes.

She also teethed non-stop from 14-18 months. Clingy, whiny, yep toddlers are fun. I remember DH and I having a conversation about how there was no way we could have another kid when she was 19 months, by the time she was a bit over 2 I got pg, she chilled a bit there around the 2 mark, but 2.5 oh my she was a wreck.

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Old 11-05-2010, 03:21 AM
 
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This makes me feel so much better about my clingy, whiney, tantrum-y, demanding, irritable 16 month old. : I agree with the other poster who say it's just their age, as I'm home full time and it sounds like our little ones are going through the same stage!

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Old 11-14-2010, 09:22 PM
 
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Mine is 12 months and is doing the clingy whiney can't be away from me separation anxiety. Is it normal to start that early? I was thinking he was unhappy with his babysitter.


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Old 11-15-2010, 01:31 PM
 
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I'm a SAHM and my DD (17 months) has been doing the same types of thing. I think this was especially noticeable around 15 months or so (seems to be getting slightly better now... longer periods between meltdowns and seems to be more easily distractable). So I think it may be part of the age. I also have to agree with the PP who mentioned teething, DD has been getting her molars in and they are just now all breaking through the skin. A long and difficult process for sure. Hugs! I know how exhausting it can be!


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