The Dreaded #2 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 01-26-2011, 11:20 PM - Thread Starter
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My DS has a HORRIBLE time with BM's. It's incredibly heartbreaking to watch and his screams bring me to tears on a daily basis. I'm sick of his ped telling me it's "normal". He's 18 months old and has had this problem for about 9 months.


I wouldn't say he's constipated. Sometimes yes, but usually his BM's are pretty soft. Hard or soft - it doesn't matter. Pooping is an ALL day event. Poor guy will get bright red in the face and scream in pain. I also recently read that it may be because he's trying so hard NOT to go and won't relax.


I've had a lot of experience with little ones and I've NEVER seen anything like it. However, I've done a lot of research on-line and I know now that he's not alone. So when does it get easier for him? Anyone have experience with this? Tips for making him more comfortable?


Thanks for reading.

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#2 of 10 Old 01-27-2011, 10:19 AM
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When my daughter went through this it was completely emotional.  Physically, she was fine.  There was a lot of tension between dh and I.  Once we committed to reducing our tension, she was fine.  This did last for a couple of months and it was very unpleasant to observe.  We felt sooo badly for her!  At that age, she was unable to articulate anything verbally that was rooted in an emotional issue.  We'd take her to the chiro, he'd reset her "poop button" and she'd be fine for the rest of the day and bind right back up.  It didn't matter what kind of stool softeners we offerred her.  Glycerine sopositories (I think that's what they're called) worked, but, we hated having to go that route. 

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#3 of 10 Old 01-27-2011, 12:17 PM
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For my DD it was a health issue.  She had trouble digesting a lot of foods.  We switched to goat's milk and Kefir instead of cow's milk and went mostly organic & gluten free - no issues anymore!

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#4 of 10 Old 01-27-2011, 04:30 PM
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For DD it was cow's milk. Once we removed cow's milk from her diet again she had no issues at all.

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#5 of 10 Old 01-27-2011, 09:59 PM
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Dietary issue for us too.  We cut out gluten and eat very minimal dairy - fermented, butter, and sparing use of very hard cheeses.  That's really helped her.

DD1 6/2009 DD2 5/1/2013-5/5/2013 (HIE) DS 3/2014
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#6 of 10 Old 02-08-2011, 08:25 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for the feedback ladies. I don't think it's a dietary issue for us as I've pretty much cut out everything I could think of, and nothing changed. However, a friend of a friend is a ped and I was able to get some good listening/learning time with him regarding the issue. It must have hurt at some point for him (a bout of constipation or something) and now he thinks it's always going to hurt. He tries so hard NOT to go and must be giving himself a tummy ache trying to hold it in. I'm going to focus on things like "magical" cream this week to help ease his worry. I'll post back and let ya'll know if it gets better.


Thanks again.

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#7 of 10 Old 02-08-2011, 08:32 PM
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My DD went through this too. It basically changed over night at around 21 mos. The very odd time she will get upset now but it's super rare. I think for her it was cramping because it seemed to strike on and off throughout the day. She's never really been constipated though- maybe once or twice, and she wouldn't withold it, just get upset and run around screaming and crying.

I still don't know what fixed it but our diet hasn't changed. One thing that helped her a bit was lying her on the back and doing bicycle legs and massaging her tummy.

I hope it changes soon for you too- it is so heartbreaking to see them go through it.

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#8 of 10 Old 02-09-2011, 08:38 AM
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I'm going through this same thing NOW with  my 15 month old DD which started about 2.5 months ago.  It is sooo frustrating and sad to see them get so upset and scared to poop.  But to add to the situation she also is battling a fissure I believe that will heal and then reopen when she has a big poop.  She doesnt seemt to have issues with dairy and only gets yogurt and is still breastfed and eats an incredibly healthy fruit and veggie diet.  So I am at a loss.  greensad.gif

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#9 of 10 Old 02-09-2011, 09:20 AM
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My son went through this too.  He was 22 months. I also knew it was not dietary. His poos were always soft, and he never went more than 2 days without going. It was emotional for him. He did not want to go, but he felt the urge and knew he had too. We read the book "Everyone Poops". That was a hit. So was just reading him lots of stories on the potty to distract him when he had to go. Singing songs too when he got upset. Basically, I just tried to distract him so he'd stay on the potty for a bit longer. But if he ever got too upset, I took him off. I tried not to make it a big deal for him. I think it took about 2 weeks to get him to actually go on the potty. A couple more weeks before he was comfortable going. Then he was great for a couple more weeks, then had a regression again where he would flip out when he had to go. A month or so later, he's pretty good on the potty, doesn't freak out or anything, usually goes. He's 27 months now and does pretty well. Sometimes he still wants you to read endlessly to him on the potty, then he'll say he doesn't have to go anymore. 


Just take your time, try to keep him calm and try not to get too upset yourself. It will get better with time.

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#10 of 10 Old 02-09-2011, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted by NaaNaa View Post It must have hurt at some point for him (a bout of constipation or something) and now he thinks it's always going to hurt. He tries so hard NOT to go and must be giving himself a tummy ache trying to hold it in.


This was our problem exactly. It also started around 9 months, with constipation resulting from too much baby oatmeal (never doing that again). He would do what we called "anti-poop". He fought it, every time he had the feeling he needed to go. All the straining was from trying to keep it in! Lots and lots of crying, turning red in the face, everything you describe.


We changed his diet, included lots of probiotic yogurt, only fruits and veggies and only grains that had at least 3 gms per serving. Didn't make a difference. It flared up even worse when we traveled. Our doctor recommended Miralax, said it has no long term effects. You just put a half a cap into milk/water/food/whatever so that they eat it. It is tasteless. We finally introduced it, having tried everything else, at around 21 months. I only regret we didn't do it sooner. He just needed that extra softness to NOT be able to keep it in. We still use it, at 37 months. Up until now, even if we miss a day, he then holds it in, and then starts to get constipated since he doesn't let it out for days.


Now, he has JUST potty trained. He has been very good about pooping, not holding it in. Once he is firmly potty trained, we'll try to start to slowly phase out the Miralax.

I was reluctant to use Miralax at first, but I am so glad we did. It really, really helped our son. Good luck.

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