2 yr-old using pacifier..big deal? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 22 Old 02-27-2011, 09:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My 2year-old DD still uses her pacifier to fall asleep at night and sometimes uses it to help her fall asleep for a nap. My "opinionated" sister-in-law took the liberty of telling me that "by 2 years old she should definitely give up the pacifier".
Advice? I try to stay away from google and would rather hear advice/opinions from you ladies! Thank you!
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#2 of 22 Old 02-27-2011, 09:15 AM
 
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I think your SIL needs to mind her own business!


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#3 of 22 Old 02-27-2011, 09:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ha ha! Good one Snowflake! I'm 99.9% sure that I agree with you! But I will be the "good" SIL and bite my tongue!
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#4 of 22 Old 02-27-2011, 09:37 AM
 
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I think it's fine. A lot of two year olds are still nursing, so sucking on a pacifier seems in line with that, developmentally. I wouldn't sweat it, especially if it's just naps and bedtime.


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#5 of 22 Old 02-27-2011, 09:51 AM
 
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Personally we don't use pacifiers and I would have a problem with it but if it's only nap and bedtime I don't think that's such a big deal. I agree some kids are still nursing at that age so I don't see how the pacifier would be any kind of harm especially with little use. This is your baby if you're comfortable with it and it keeps her happy then I'd leave it alone.


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#6 of 22 Old 02-27-2011, 10:11 AM
 
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I'm sure your child will give it up before college.

 

I wouldn't stress it. If you have concerns about it affecting tooth/mouth development, you may want to consult your dentist. But it sounds like it's intermittent use, so I'm with the others and think it's not a big deal.

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#7 of 22 Old 02-27-2011, 10:42 AM
 
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I don't have a problem with older children using a pacifier and certainly not a 2 year old. I think it is very normal developmentally. Some people are concerned about teeth issues later in life or that a 2 year old should be able to self soothe. Neither of those bother me personally but your sil has probably heard things along those lines.

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#8 of 22 Old 02-27-2011, 11:56 AM
 
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My two year old is napping with his suckie (he calls it duckie) right now. I keep meaning to get rid of it, but things keep happening. Clearly I don't think it is wrong to wean him off of it, but I don't see a problem if it is not a problem. The only problem it causes for us is that he talks less and is incomprehensible when he does talk with it in.


Mama to Monkey (Jan '09), Bee (May '11), and Cat (August, '13)

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#9 of 22 Old 02-27-2011, 11:57 AM
 
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My two year old is napping with his suckie (he calls it duckie) right now. I keep meaning to get rid of it, but things keep happening. Clearly I don't think it is wrong to wean him off of it, but I don't see a problem if it is not a problem. The only problem it causes for us is that he talks less and is incomprehensible when he does talk with it in.


Mama to Monkey (Jan '09), Bee (May '11), and Cat (August, '13)

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#10 of 22 Old 02-27-2011, 01:00 PM
 
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I wouldn't give it another thought.

 

I was vehemently against pacifiers before I had kids.  Then at about 10 days post partum with my first dd, I had had enough of being a human pacifier.  I needed space to take a shower, eat dinner, etc.  We tried a pacifier and it worked.  Dd loved it and it helped SO much for sleeping and car rides, etc.  Very quickly she only used it for naps and bedtime and I was fine with that.  I meant to wean her from it around age 2 but we went through some big life changes around then and I didn't think it was appropriate to take that away from her then.  Through the years I learned that if I could chill out and let her "lead me", I would figure out how to parent in a much calmer fashion.  I struggled with the binky as she was 3 years old and then just kind of let it go.  She did not have any dental/oral issues and it just didn't seem like a big deal.  When she was almost four, I was about to have her little sister and she just said to me one night "mama, I think binkys are for babies" and then stopped using one from then on.  Pretty amazing.

 

My second dd is another story.  I WISH she'd take a binky.  lol.  Funny how all of your stances change once you actually have children.  


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#11 of 22 Old 02-27-2011, 01:32 PM
 
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Yeah this! Pretty much a similar story but ds gave it up by 3. He was pretty attached to it and only had it for naps/bedtime from about 18 months on.

Quote:
Originally Posted by saffrongirl View Post

I wouldn't give it another thought.

 

I was vehemently against pacifiers before I had kids.  Then at about 10 days post partum with my first dd, I had had enough of being a human pacifier.  I needed space to take a shower, eat dinner, etc.  We tried a pacifier and it worked.  Dd loved it and it helped SO much for sleeping and car rides, etc.  Very quickly she only used it for naps and bedtime and I was fine with that.  I meant to wean her from it around age 2 but we went through some big life changes around then and I didn't think it was appropriate to take that away from her then.  Through the years I learned that if I could chill out and let her "lead me", I would figure out how to parent in a much calmer fashion.  I struggled with the binky as she was 3 years old and then just kind of let it go.  She did not have any dental/oral issues and it just didn't seem like a big deal.  When she was almost four, I was about to have her little sister and she just said to me one night "mama, I think binkys are for babies" and then stopped using one from then on.  Pretty amazing.

 

My second dd is another story.  I WISH she'd take a binky.  lol.  Funny how all of your stances change once you actually have children.  



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#12 of 22 Old 02-27-2011, 03:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much ladies! Awesome to hear all the support and advice!

No more stressing over the pacifier for me/us!!

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#13 of 22 Old 02-27-2011, 06:51 PM
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walking around with it can be a problem for language development but for sleeping....heck...i wish my kid would still take one.


Reluctant 'Sconie, chassid and mama to sweet toughie Ada Bluma 9/9/09 and loving pittie-mix ("Judge the deed, not the breed!")
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#14 of 22 Old 02-27-2011, 07:14 PM
 
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I agree, as long as it's just for sleeping, what's the big deal??  I'd probably wean off it soon though.

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#15 of 22 Old 02-27-2011, 07:37 PM
 
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Most of what I've read say that it's about 4 years old that you need to worry.  That's my goal, binky-free by 4.

 

DS, at 3.5, still needs his paci to fall asleep with us.  He does fine without it when he naps at preschool, a few days a week.  We also had a difficult time while he was 2, and didn't seriously work on weaning him until he was nearly 3.  I am getting concerned, because I do notice his teeth shifting, but that's relatively recent (mostly since 3, I think).

 

I'm now trying to encourage DH to make him ask for it, instead of automatically giving it at naptime (and, eventually, at bedtime).


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#16 of 22 Old 02-28-2011, 09:38 AM
 
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My 23 month old still uses his pacifier for naps and bedtime, and sometimes just to calm down and relax in the middle of the day.  We have a rule that it has to stay in his bed, so he takes it out as soon as he wakes up, but he'll sometimes get upset and want to go lay down with his blanket and "baba" in his bed during the day when he's not sleeping, and I'm fine with that.  It's a comfort for him and I'm glad he has it.  I wouldn't ever take it away from him.  I am absolutely 100% positive that he will give it up when he's ready, and I will let him choose when he's ready.  I just do not see any benefit or any reason to take it away simply because he's almost 2.  I don't buy that a child can suddenly be "too old" for something when they're still using it for comfort.  So obviously, I'd ignore your SIL :)


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#17 of 22 Old 02-28-2011, 07:10 PM
 
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if its only for bedtime and naps i don't see a problem


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#18 of 22 Old 02-28-2011, 07:16 PM
 
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I have a 15 yr old, and now a 2 yr old and a 5mo.

 

My 15 yr old gave up her paci (we call them do-dahs) when she was 3, I think it was right around 3.5.  Three was actually a big age for her-she gave up the do-dah, the bottle, potty trained AND switched from a crib to a big girl bed.  And none of them was a super big deal.  It was really like a cascade effect, once things became defined as for big girls vs for "babies" it wasn't hard to switch it off.  The only exception was the big girl bed, but she was always really tough to get to sleep.

 

My 2 yr old still has her do-dah.  She mostly uses it for naps and bedtime.  In the morning she leaves it upstairs on the bed or the corner of the dresser and it stays there until naptime, then again until bed time.  Right now however we are having a hard time being consistant with this because she's good at sneaking her little sissy's do dah.

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#19 of 22 Old 02-28-2011, 07:51 PM
 
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I didn't want to use a paci but my DS was really suck-needy, so we caved. At six months, we limited it to bed and naptimes, and my dentist said it was a-okay to use it this way until 4-5 yrs. I fretted that he would never give it up, and magically, just a few weeks ago, didn't ask for it, and hasn't since (he's 2.5). I was so glad that he gave it up on his own. The only thing we did was start hiding his nuk in a bunny/blanket thingy for him to find in bed, and talked about how awesome bunny was (hoping to transfer some of the good feelings associated with his nuk to the bunny)...maybe it worked, maybe it was coincidence.

 

And...good for you for not reacting to your SIL!


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#20 of 22 Old 02-28-2011, 09:05 PM
 
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I'm curious why so many say it is okay because it is limited or okay now but would wean off of it soon. What reason is there to change if everyone in the family is okay with it and it is helping the child?

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#21 of 22 Old 03-01-2011, 04:34 PM
 
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Well, personally I think that 2 years old is too old, but I would never impose my opinion on someone about such a thing unless asked.  My reasoning is that by that time it can grow to the point where the child "needs" it, and feels anxiety if they don't have it to sleep, or to do whatever they normally like to do with it.  I took my son's away when he was about 4 months, because I noticed that he was just starting to panick a little when I took it away, and I thought better to get it over with now before it becomes way more of a struggle later.  my daughter is now 5 months, and she just now starting to get to that point, and I'm probably going to take it way in the next month or so.  I think it's just one of those, what works for you and your child type of things.

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#22 of 22 Old 03-01-2011, 06:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pbjmama View Post

I'm curious why so many say it is okay because it is limited or okay now but would wean off of it soon. What reason is there to change if everyone in the family is okay with it and it is helping the child?


because if they are walking around with it all day or a good part of the day (which, yes, some two year-olds do....i had 2 out of 8 like that in my toddler class this year) it inhibits language development at and age where most kids are experimenting with words and talking. but not if you have a nuk in your mouth.

and then there's the dental issue but i don't know anything about that part.

 


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