Mom's of twiblings (2 in 2 years) *support only* thread!!! - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 23 Old 03-10-2011, 08:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
texmati's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 6,760
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I've been looking for a thread like this, but haven't found one yet!

 

I'm looking start a thread for support, commiseration and celebration of the unique challenges and joys of having two closely spaced children. I'm hoping experienced mom's can chime in, but I'd noticed a couple threads in this forum lately looking for help with a newborn and toddler, so I thought I'd post here.

 

Anyone interested?


Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

texmati is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 23 Old 03-10-2011, 08:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
texmati's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 6,760
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I'll start: my (user)name is texmati, and my son is 17 months and my daughter is a month old.

 

The hardest part about this for me is the guilt. I feel so guilty all the time. I feel guilty when I focus on my son, I feel guilty when I'm focusing on my daughter. I feel guilty that I'm writing this post.... it's terrible.

 

The best part about this is seeing my son and daughter interact. I'm simply shocked that even at this young age, I can seen caring and compassion for his sister in my little boy.


Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

texmati is offline  
#3 of 23 Old 03-10-2011, 12:24 PM
 
andielk72's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 115
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I was looking for something like this a few months ago. I've just "aged out" of the "under two" but was there recently ... my son was 19 months old when I had twin girls; he turned two last week. It was terribly tough at first. When DS was a newborn I never let him cry for a minute without trying to comfort him and was always trying to play with him and stimulate his senses ; during the first few months with the three of them there was barely a five minute stretch in the day when at least one of them wasn't crying and just meeting basic needs took up so much time there was no time for anything else. I felt so guilty about not being able to immediately attend to everyone's needs. It is still very hard to manage multiple babies but it is a little bit easier now that the girls are more alert and less demanding (n terms of feeding around the clock) and we can sing songs and look at books together and stuff.

 

One piece of advice that I got and tried to follow was to find a couple of 10 minute or fifteen minute chunks to devote 100% to the older child each day. He is going thru a huge change and needs some quality attention. I tried to find a time when the girls were quiet and put them in bassinets in another room and did something fun with DS. Short of a complete baby meltdown I did not interrupt my time with my older child. And each nite my husband takes DS upstairs about a half hour bf his bedtime and they play and read with out any interference. I felt/feel much better when we have given him some quality one on one time.

 

It is fun to watch them interact and as they grow the interactions will get even better - my son has jealous moments when he hits a sister or takes away a toy but for the most part he loves helping - he covers them with blankets, runs over to show them things presents he receives etc. He also loves to tell us when one of them has a dirty diaper :)

andielk72 is offline  
#4 of 23 Old 03-10-2011, 04:12 PM
 
penstamon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: 4th dimension
Posts: 976
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'll be joining soon, just lurking for now- I have a 19mo DS and a -10w LO TBA in May.   I felt a lot of guilt getting pregnant this time because I am afraid of what it will do to DS.  He's my little buddy.


Mum to DS1 7/09 and DS2 5/11

penstamon is offline  
#5 of 23 Old 03-10-2011, 09:50 PM
 
Marissamom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,535
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm just about there. DD is 21 months, and I'm 39 weeks 3 days. so any day now I'll have two under two. 


Marissa, Partner to J geek.gif, SAHM to A (05/09)fly-by-nursing1.gif and I (03/11)stork-boy.gif. we cd.gif
selectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gifnocirc.giffemalesling.GIFecbaby2.gif part-time and familybed1.gif through infancy. planning ahomebirth.jpg
Marissamom is offline  
#6 of 23 Old 03-10-2011, 10:03 PM
 
artekah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,120
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'll be joining you in July when I'll have a 22-month-old and a newborn.

I'm super excited and happy but also terrified! I think it will be fine when DH is around, but I'm not even so sure how it's supposed to work when he's at work or has to sleep and I'm on my own and outnumbered! Eek!

Maybe someone who's BTDT can give me some reassurance...it seems all I have been hearing is how hard it is! :/
artekah is offline  
#7 of 23 Old 03-11-2011, 06:34 AM
 
nktigger99's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Moore, OK
Posts: 52
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Well, I guess I am BTDT mom of having 2 under 2...I currently have a 34 month old and a 20 month old...My son was 13 months and 1 day old when his baby sister came along.  It wasn't always easy but honestly it was more fun then hard in my eyes.  The first 3 months we were in survival mood around the house...the house wasn't spottless...laundry wasn't done all the time.  Our main focus was the kids...that for us was the key to making it doable and enjoyable at the same time.  My kids now are pretty good together...the sleep together for naps all cuddled up...but they do fight and hit each other but the majority of the time they share nicely and love to give hugs and kisses to each other. 

 

As of June I will have 3 under 2 for a short time...I am 23 weeks and 6 days pregnant with twins...then we will move to 4 kids 3 years and younger!!!!   I think it will funny those first few weeks to be able to say I have a 2 year old, a 1 year old and 2 newborns...lol...I can't wait to see peoples faces...lol


Nicholebelly.gifMomma to 4,Twin Boys--Cole Ryan and Corbin Riley (6-13-2011), JoJo (07-12-2009) and Lil Jimmy (6-11-2008)   I am a SAHM, Proudly retired breastfeeding, Proudly Formula Feeding, co-sleepingfamilybed2.gif, babywearingslingtwin.gif, non-vaccing, Sposie diaper using momma. 

nktigger99 is offline  
#8 of 23 Old 03-11-2011, 06:54 AM
 
insidevoice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,320
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm another mom who has moved past the two under two  place.  They are 14 months apart and while it was hard at first it's a lot of fun now as they are so close and have so much fun together.  I love first thing in the morning.  Each one sleeps on one side of me, and  whichever one wakes first always leans over to the other with a smile to wake the other for a day of mayhem.  The first few months really are all about survival, but once they get a little older you have a little more time to yourself as they entertain each other. 

 

Babyproof- if not everything, at least have one area that is truly stress free.  For us, these areas are our living room, our bedroom, and the long hallway between the two.  You can relax more when you don't have to worry that they might be getting into something they shouldn't.  

 

I love seeing how close they are, and how they always think of the other. 

 

I made some cookies last week.  My older child wandered over, and I offered him half a cookie. He took that half, then reached for the other half as well. Before I could say anything, he presented it to his younger brother saying, "Share."  They sat together on the floor smiling and nodding at each other as they enjoyed their cookies as I watched and realized that for them, there really is no line between friendship and brotherhood. 

insidevoice is offline  
#9 of 23 Old 03-11-2011, 09:07 AM
 
AFWife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,083
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by texmati View Post

I'll start: my (user)name is texmati, and my son is 17 months and my daughter is a month old.

 

The hardest part about this for me is the guilt. I feel so guilty all the time. I feel guilty when I focus on my son, I feel guilty when I'm focusing on my daughter. I feel guilty that I'm writing this post.... it's terrible.


 


 

I relate to this A LOT.

 


Kas (24), Helpmeet to Stefan (25), Mom to Franklin Gaudelio 4/15/09, Jonathan Boswell 1/2/11
AFWife is offline  
#10 of 23 Old 03-11-2011, 11:35 AM
 
pearl2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 732
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I joined y'all on 2-28! Today is my first day with both girls by myself. My Goal for the Day is to feed everyone. That's it. Both are now sleeping so I might grab a shower and sit in my sitz bath. It is more important than me napping as well right now. So far, so good. 

 

I've also enjoyed reading www.babybunching.com to see other people's perspective on having 2 (or more) close in age. 


Mama to 2 little darling squooshy faces
pearl2 is offline  
#11 of 23 Old 03-11-2011, 01:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
texmati's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 6,760
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

ooh yeah! I'm so glad that there is some interest!

 

Congrats to all the new mama's and soon to be mama's again joining us. I've changed the title here to be more inclusive-- hopefully it makes sense.

 

Andielk! Thanks for your response. It so wonderful to know that you are surviving, and even have tiem to post a little lol!! I've been trying to do what you say-- devote some time to each one. In my case, my big(er) baby is much louder, demanding, and in your face-- I often find myself putting the newborn in her playpen/baby hammock etc while she's awake for long periods of time. I've tried to make a concious effort to give her more face time since reading your post, and I think it's helped with bonding with her.

 

gg want to reply to everyone later!

 

 


Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

texmati is offline  
#12 of 23 Old 03-11-2011, 01:32 PM
 
nktigger99's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Moore, OK
Posts: 52
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

The title is funny...I will have 3 kids in 2 years...4 in 3 years....

 

babywearing was a life saver for me when my daughter was tiny...she was getting the bounding but I could care for my son at the same time.


Nicholebelly.gifMomma to 4,Twin Boys--Cole Ryan and Corbin Riley (6-13-2011), JoJo (07-12-2009) and Lil Jimmy (6-11-2008)   I am a SAHM, Proudly retired breastfeeding, Proudly Formula Feeding, co-sleepingfamilybed2.gif, babywearingslingtwin.gif, non-vaccing, Sposie diaper using momma. 

nktigger99 is offline  
#13 of 23 Old 03-11-2011, 05:08 PM
 
mckittre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,221
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)

Sure - I'm just past the 2 under 2 stage, though mine are 22 months apart - not as close as a lot of you!   My son is 24 months, and my daughter is 2 months.  She is a fairly happy baby, and as such, gets a lot less attention than her brother did.  If she's happy, she's often left to do her thing.  Talking to other new moms with 3 year olds, though, I'm not convinced that a 2 year old is really any harder.  Except for the extra diapers.  And trying to potty train one while nursing the other....  And carrying both at once (2 wraps are a lifesaver).  For those who aren't quite there yet, I'll say I'm very glad I nightweaned my older one and moved him into his own bed for most of the night (2 feet from ours) before the newborn came.

mckittre is offline  
#14 of 23 Old 03-11-2011, 08:20 PM
 
KayTeeJay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Central IL
Posts: 174
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm here too! My ds1 was less than a month shy of 2 when ds2 was born. Ds2 is now 10 weeks old. The hardest thing for me was/is that DS1 isn't completely weaned. We're getting closer, but it's hard for him to understand that he has to wait sometimes. I've found myself nursing both at once more times than I can say! He's also watched more tv than i would like, but it's WordWorld 90% of the time so at least it's mostly educational. Co-sleeping has been a lifesaver, as has my DH.

Posting from my phone now so this is short, but I will post more later!

K + J = DS Evan 1/26/09 and happily welcoming DS Colin, our 9lb 5oz vbac.gif New Year's Day baby, 1/1/11!
KayTeeJay is offline  
#15 of 23 Old 03-11-2011, 08:46 PM
 
prothyraia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: The Borean Tundra
Posts: 2,211
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Subbing!

 

My two are 20 months apart (the younger one is 2 1/2 now, wow!), and I'm expecting another in June.  It'll be interesting (terrifying?) to see how different the transition is with a 4 year old and a 3 year old as the older siblings instead of a 20 month old...

prothyraia is offline  
#16 of 23 Old 03-11-2011, 10:03 PM
 
mckittre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,221
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)

Hi KayTeeJay - Our kids are almost the exact same ages!  My little one is a new years baby as well, and my older boy was born 2/14/09, so just a few weeks younger than yours.  My 2 yr old isn't weaned either, though he accepts distraction most of the time after the initial novelty of nursing with his sister wore off.  We're down to a few times a day (unless he's sick, like today)

mckittre is offline  
#17 of 23 Old 03-11-2011, 10:14 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Sunny Southern California
Posts: 419
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I just aged out - my kids are 20 mos apart at 6 mos and 26 mos.  

 

It's been challenging.  I feel, like the rest of you say, that I am not doing a great job with either kid, or that I am balancing demands from the two all the time.  I guess I assumed that my toddler would be more independent by the time the baby was born, and if anything, he was even more demanding.  

 

I got lucky - my baby is a very easy baby, and from an early age was pretty good at entertaining herself.  I was worried that my toddler would be the one to get shorted on attention - but it ended up being the baby.

 

I'm not happy about it - but we watch A LOT of TV these days.  It's just so hard to balance, and I am so tired from work and just need a break.

 

I think we turned a corner in the last few weeks though.  My son is starting to interact with the baby - he plays peek a boo and brings her toys.  She's almost sitting up and so I think he gets that she is a person now and wants to engage her.  Their dynamic is fun, and I can see that they will be playmates soon.  He is also communicating more and having fewer tantrums.  So there is hope - it gets easier.  

MsFortune is offline  
#18 of 23 Old 03-12-2011, 01:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
texmati's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 6,760
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)


I've been trying to think of a short catchy title that will encompass what I mean-- basically mom's of closely spaced kids (csk's?)

 

I wish I could make babywearing work for me-- I have a wrap, but by the time I get her in there, she wants to eat... by the time I finish feeding her, everything (including the wrap) is soaking wet from milk and puke, and she's asleep. Maybe as she gets a bit older?

Quote:
Originally Posted by nktigger99 View Post

The title is funny...I will have 3 kids in 2 years...4 in 3 years....

 

babywearing was a life saver for me when my daughter was tiny...she was getting the bounding but I could care for my son at the same time.



 


Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

texmati is offline  
#19 of 23 Old 03-12-2011, 08:52 PM
 
lovelybaby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 6
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm due in August, and mine will be exactly 24 months apart. It's interesting to read what others who have gone through it have to say. I have to say I am a little worried about how my DD will react to the baby. She is pretty jealous, so I already know there will be an adjustment period; I just hope it's not too rough on all of us.

lovelybaby is offline  
#20 of 23 Old 03-12-2011, 09:35 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Sunny Southern California
Posts: 419
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelybaby View Post

I'm due in August, and mine will be exactly 24 months apart. It's interesting to read what others who have gone through it have to say. I have to say I am a little worried about how my DD will react to the baby. She is pretty jealous, so I already know there will be an adjustment period; I just hope it's not too rough on all of us.


For what it's worth, we were worried about jealousy and it has not been an issue.  Toddler DS does not want to share toys with the baby and will pull them out of her hands.  And when I am holding baby, sometimes he will try to climb in my lap too (which I let him do).  But really, not so bad.  

 

MsFortune is offline  
#21 of 23 Old 03-12-2011, 10:46 PM
 
mckittre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,221
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)

Jealousy's not been what I feared so far (but my little one can't move or grab big brother's toys yet).  However, the 2yr old has the flu, and a sicky big kid makes everything hard.  He wanted to snuggle and nurse all day.  The 2 month old (luckily not sick) also needs to snuggle and nurse all day.  So I ended up wearing both of them at once in a wrap and dancing to monster truck videos all morning (entertaining the toddler, dancing to put the little one to sleep). 

mckittre is offline  
#22 of 23 Old 03-13-2011, 08:48 AM
tzs
 
tzs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,617
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

i JUST noticed that the title of this thread was "twiblings." i love it!!

we'll be there in a few months and i'm definately freaking out more than a little. i had said that i wouldn't even contemplate a 2nd until i got more help from DH and then "natural family planning" (aka trying to cheat the system) didn't go quite as planned.


Reluctant 'Sconie, chassid and mama to sweet toughie Ada Bluma 9/9/09 and loving pittie-mix ("Judge the deed, not the breed!")
tzs is offline  
#23 of 23 Old 03-15-2011, 07:23 AM
 
insidevoice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,320
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I woke up as they high fived over me as I tried for five more minutes of sleep this morning.  From there, they ran to the  living room where they have been bouncing off the walls since.  At one point I sat down to have a sip of tea and I watched as they ran down the hall, grabbed some boards we are using to put in new flooring in the bathroom and ran off to the bedroom to set them up against my bed as ramps to slide and roll down. 

 

How tuned in they are to each other, and their capacity for an attempt at world takeover as a collaborative effort scares me! 

insidevoice is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off