Parents of LOW needs sleepers I need advice! UPDATE #73 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 73 Old 03-12-2011, 05:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DD has always had low sleep needs...since birth literally.

 

I have always dealt with it by following her cues and going with her natural flow. We have always bee fine. Now she's 17 m/o and we are having bedtime issues. When she was younger than 1 y/o bedtime was at 7 or 8pm. Then it was 8:30, then 9, now it's who-knows-when.

 

She naps around 1 or 2 pm for 2hrs usually. I aim for a 9pm bedtime. She will not go to bed. We have our routine and our wind-down and all that good stuff she is so used to. She doesn't even cry really (except initially when the lights go off she throws a little fit) DH and I always lay with her while she had milkies and drifts to sleep, except as of late there is no drifting! She will just be awake fore HOURS. Last night (almost every night the past IDK 5 days) we fell asleep before her (11pm) and she was still awake, I have no idea what time she fell asleep. She stays with us in the bed and will cuddle or sit up or play with my hair. She doesn't try to leave or anything.

She has been waking up around like 8 or 8:30, sometimes later, as late as 10am some days...

 

IDK if she's sleeping enough overall, She's a very high needs, highly emotional, sensitive child along with this so it is hard to tell sometimes if lack of sleep is affecting her mood.

 

IDK what to do...She always went to bed late but at least DH and I had a couple hours before we went to sleep...now we have nothing!


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#2 of 73 Old 03-12-2011, 05:46 AM
 
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I think I would try to shift her sleep time earlier, but that's because I don't know what life would be like without a kid waking me before 6 am. :)

 

I know that when my little ones are unable to sleep at night in a reasonable period of time, it is usually because I missed the sleep window earlier in the evening.  For one of them that is about 6pm, and the other is usually asleep at about 7- my younger child is the one who sleeps later, my nearing three year old wants to be in bed and asleep by 6pm. They both wake between 5 and 6 in the morning, and nap for about 1.5 hours after lunch. 

 

If I let either of them stay up past 7:30 in the evening, they won't sleep until well past midnight. 

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#3 of 73 Old 03-12-2011, 06:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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But it was very normal for her to go past 6 or 7 pm. I got her into bed by 8 the other night and she was up from 2am until 5:30 am! No lie! She has low sleep needs and if she's in bed too early or will even fall asleep but is under tired I am in trouble b/c she will have a few hour stretch in the middle of the night and that is even worse!


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#4 of 73 Old 03-12-2011, 06:22 AM
 
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Are you sure she really has low sleep needs?  I thought the same with my first, and it wasn't until I tried a last-resort approach of a much earlier bedtime that I  discovered she was accustomed to less sleep, but really needed more. 

 

Have you read Sleepless in America? 

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#5 of 73 Old 03-12-2011, 06:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have not read that.

 

I do think she's genuinely low sleep needs b/c we tried sleep schedules/routines for MONTHS AND MONTHS AND MONTHS and it just never worked. It was hell on earth getting her to nap and she was up all night and miserable all day and it completely consumed my life trying to get her to sleep all the time and she was miserable. Even at a few weeks old she wouldn't just fall asleep in the wrap she would be up for like 3hrs then take a 45 min nap then be up again. She never had that sleep-all-day newborn phase. I had her at the birth center 2hrs away from us and at 5hrs old she was awake the whole 2hr drive! I was shocked!

 

Once I stopped trying to get her to sleep so much everything got so much better. She got into her own little routine and we were doing great with it since she was about 9 m/o. She has regressions here and there of course and she's never STTN and is still night nursing anywhere from 1-5x a night. Recently before this new thing she was sleeping 5hrs between feeds normally. She was recently sick and was up a lot. She just never seems tired enough for bed anymore it is so weird. She's calm though not like wired, When she is overtired and goes to sleep she will usually wake up really early, and then I know she was OT.

 

So her patterns are

 

OT- early waking (6am or earlier)

UT- waking for hours long stretches in middle of night

 

Obvs an ideal would be like a 7-7 schedule but she only does 11hr nights usually and always has. She used to sleep 8pm-7am alright, but that was months ago. More recently it was 9pm-8/9am which was more sleep than usual and for longer stretches between nursing and waking. Now she just never seems tired at night and it's getting later and later...

 

It's 9:45 am and she's still sleeping now. I think she fell asleep around 11:30pm....hide.gif


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#6 of 73 Old 03-12-2011, 07:47 AM
 
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It really sounds like she's getting some decent blocks of sleep at night, so I think I would simply be inclined to wake her earlier.  I know a lot of parents who let the kids stay up later and pretty much go to bed at the same time, and if that works for you it's fine.  For me- I need a little downtime in the evening to not go completely nuts.  

 

My youngest isn't a great sleeper- for the first year I maxed out at 3-4 hours a day with him, but he's making the shift.  He'll go to bed at about 7 but often needs to get up for about 15 minutes between 9 and 10 for a snack, a run though the living room,  and a few extra hugs.  After that he goes right back to bed.  

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#7 of 73 Old 03-12-2011, 07:10 PM
 
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I feel your pain. My DD sleeps 10-11 hours a night and not a minute more. She sleeps 1.5 hours during the day if we are lucky, sometimes as little 1 hour of sleep a day. I have literally spent months of my life trying to get this child to sleep. I read all the books that told me she needed to be getting more sleep and I stressed that she wasn't. I tried all the tricks. I tried to put her to sleep earlier and she did what your DD does, which is wake up for hours in the middle of the night. Although you are lucky that your DD sleeps in. Mine has never slept in past 7am and that's late for her. We were stuck in a rut at one point where she was going to bed too early or too late (like 9-11pm) and We finally got her schedule to the point where her bedtime (depending on her naps) is between 7-8 and she sleeps until 6-7 am. It took alot of work. I wonder if you could wake her up earlier, like 7am. And then maybe encourage an earlier nap time, like around 12 or 12:30. It just sounds like her whole schedule has moved off. My DD won't go to bed within 5 hours of when she wakes from her nap.

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#8 of 73 Old 03-13-2011, 05:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well yesterday since she woke up at 10 she wouldn't nap until 2:30, then we had company over and I lost track of time. She slept till 5:30! Frig.

 

She was up till 10:30 then up at 7:45 today....

 

I always aim for a nap right after lunch, but I can't force her to nap. She will just lie their awake KWIM? She was always like that. I have tried shhing and patting and leaving and everything and it's mother but nothing works.

 

I am hoping she will be tired enough for an earlier nap so we can hopefully have a decent bedtime!


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#9 of 73 Old 03-13-2011, 07:43 AM
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if our naptime gets too late i just skip it, suffer through the evening grumpiness and aim for an early but not too early bedtime. or if she's really tired i'll let her nap but leave the door open and make sure to be plenty noisy and if that doesn't make for a short nap (one cycle...about 45 minutes or so) then i'll go in and wake her up...also by just being noisy and letting her wake on her own. 

but we haven't really had any problems with being awake at night yet (knock on wood!!!)


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#10 of 73 Old 03-13-2011, 05:17 PM
 
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I gave up on all the sleep scheduling, it just does not seem to work for us. He sleeps when he's tired and that's it. If I want him to go to bed earlier, I have to wake him in the morning. My 16month old needs on average about 10.5hrs of sleep per day, including all naps. He usually naps 15min and is fully recharged for the rest of the day. More when he's sick or having growth spurts. If I put him to bed too early, he'll just wake up in the middle of the night and play.

 

My advice would be figuring out how much sleep your child needs over a couple of days and then slowly moving it to times that suit you better by waking her at appropriate times.


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#11 of 73 Old 03-13-2011, 08:09 PM
 
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Almost everyone in the world seems to believe that babies/young children should go to bed early & wake early after a 12 hour night. Some of them just don't work that way but it sure is hard to feel you are doing things right when the above is the message you keep getting.

 

I could have written your post word for word except for the high needs portion (ds is actually very easy going). The things that we have found have worked best for us:

- acceptance that I'm NOT a bad mother 'cause my babe goes to bed later than most.

- keep the nap but not allow it to go past a certain time - for us we aim for a 1:30-3:30 nap time - it's not always 2 hours but I rarely let it go past 3:30.

- when he starts creeping into sleeping in later & later (which happens for us from time to time) I force myself to get him up by a certain time - generally 8:30/9:00 is what we use so that he is adequately tired that night.

 

Would I like more time to myself in the evenings (especially as I am a night owl)? Yeppers! But this is the schedule that works for ds & I'm not going to put my wants above his needs. I've spent my whole life being told I'm wrong & lazy for sleeping to my natural sleep schedule but when I do I'm much happier & healthier.


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#12 of 73 Old 03-13-2011, 08:32 PM
 
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My almost 2y is doing the late nights and late morning sleeping in thing with some several hour awake periods in the middle of the night here and there as well. He usually gets 10-11 hours at night, naps are hit or miss, could be 30 minutes or 2 hours, I never know. Right now if I have him out by 9:30 then I am doing good, some nights it is 1am. Waking him up early in the morning doesn't help him go to bed earlier, I just have a cranky toddler all day. With 2 other children in the house, he often does have to get woken up in the morning, nothing I can do about it. He can sleep in till 8 on the dot usually before I have to wake him up and throw him in the car seat, but those days where we don't have to be someplace, he will often sleep in till 10:30 or 12:30 like last weekend. We just keep trucking along, hoping eventually he will shift one of these days. I feel like I've tried everything, nothing left but to wait it out. 


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#13 of 73 Old 03-13-2011, 08:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by insidevoice View Post

Are you sure she really has low sleep needs?  I thought the same with my first, and it wasn't until I tried a last-resort approach of a much earlier bedtime that I  discovered she was accustomed to less sleep, but really needed more. 

 

Have you read Sleepless in America? 


Yes yes yes to this. I also could have written your exact post. My ds would skip naps and then stay up till midnight because I could not get him to sleep. Nothing worked. Then I read Sleepless in America and it was like nitgh and day. Cannot recommend that book enough. Definitely read it.
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IDK if she's sleeping enough overall, She's a very high needs, highly emotional, sensitive child along with this so it is hard to tell sometimes if lack of sleep is affecting her mood.

 

IDK what to do...She always went to bed late but at least DH and I had a couple hours before we went to sleep...now we have nothing!


High needs, highly emotional and sensitive could really just be overtired. It was with my ds, although he still isn't the most easygoing child ever, he is a lot better. I used the advice from Sleeples in America and it worked wonders.

Good luck mama. I know it is so so hard.

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#14 of 73 Old 03-14-2011, 06:17 AM
 
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Almost everyone in the world seems to believe that babies/young children should go to bed early & wake early after a 12 hour night. Some of them just don't work that way but it sure is hard to feel you are doing things right when the above is the message you keep getting.

 

I could have written your post word for word except for the high needs portion (ds is actually very easy going). The things that we have found have worked best for us:

- acceptance that I'm NOT a bad mother 'cause my babe goes to bed later than most.

- keep the nap but not allow it to go past a certain time - for us we aim for a 1:30-3:30 nap time - it's not always 2 hours but I rarely let it go past 3:30.

- when he starts creeping into sleeping in later & later (which happens for us from time to time) I force myself to get him up by a certain time - generally 8:30/9:00 is what we use so that he is adequately tired that night.

 

Would I like more time to myself in the evenings (especially as I am a night owl)? Yeppers! But this is the schedule that works for ds & I'm not going to put my wants above his needs. I've spent my whole life being told I'm wrong & lazy for sleeping to my natural sleep schedule but when I do I'm much happier & healthier.


This, exactly (although my DS *was* high-needs*) -- I spent a long time thinking there was something wrong with me or him but really, he is a thousand times happier & more rested & easy-going when we goes to bed at 11:30pm and wakes up around 10am... he takes a short nap around 1pm most days so gets about 11-12 hours of sleep every 24 hours, and I think that's within average. Sure, it would be nice to have that time at the end of the day to unwind, but TBH I much prefer sleeping in a bit anyway... I would NOT be a happy camper if I had to be up & chasing a toddler at 5am or something!!! It took quite a while to figure out that he just isn't going to be the kind of kid that goes to bed by 8pm, and that early bedtimes meant less sleep for all of us...

It doesn't sound to me like your DD is getting too little sleep... although it would concern me that she is wide awake for a couple hours in the middle of the night... that, to me, signifies her bedtime may be off a bit & you may need to play around with very early or very late bedtimes to figure out how she can max out her sleep. However, around 18mos we had a sleep regression and it seems like that is a typical age for sleep issues, so that could be part of it... plus daylight savings time, if that affects you (DS was waking up about an hour+ early for the last few weeks & hopefully now will get back on track with the time change!)

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#15 of 73 Old 03-14-2011, 07:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Jamie- She really and truly is a very high neds and SPIRITED child. I like spirited better. She is very expressive and I am fine with it it's who she is. She still cries like a newborn..ear peircing screams when she is upset or wants/needs something. If she is sick or teething forget it crying like all day long. It is not simply over tired...

 

Well yesterday she was in bed at 8:30pm and then at 12am was up for an hour, woke up at 8:30am...


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#16 of 73 Old 03-14-2011, 10:45 AM
 
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Jamie- She really and truly is a very high neds and SPIRITED child. I like spirited better. She is very expressive and I am fine with it it's who she is. She still cries like a newborn..ear peircing screams when she is upset or wants/needs something. If she is sick or teething forget it crying like all day long. It is not simply over tired...

 

Well yesterday she was in bed at 8:30pm and then at 12am was up for an hour, woke up at 8:30am...



You said in your OP that you don't know that she is getting enough sleep overall.....but you know that her being overtired is not playing a role in her spiritedness?  I don't really know what to say to that.  You don't have to listen to any advice here, but you did ask for it.  Staying up late, having to be woken in the morning and fighing sleep are all signs of being overtired. 

 


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#17 of 73 Old 03-14-2011, 11:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I wasn't saying she wasn't over tired I was just trying to say she is very spirited no matter how much sleep she gets, of course she can be even more of a challenge when she is OT. I apologize if it sounded like I was disregarding your advice.


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#18 of 73 Old 03-14-2011, 11:31 AM
 
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This is totally opposite of what everyone else is saying but at that age DS1 started taking HOURS to go to sleep and HOURS to fall asleep for a nap.  So we gave up the nap.  He was a little crabby at dinner time for a couple weeks but out like a light by 7:30 and slept until 8 or 8:30 in the morning.  I couldn't deal with the laying in the dark four hours trying to wait out him falling asleep, it was making me miserable and him miserable and it was consuming our day so we stopped.  And it worked really well for us.


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#19 of 73 Old 03-14-2011, 06:03 PM
 
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I just wanted to add that I have found that if I get ds to sleep early (anything before 8:30/9:00) we are SCREWED in the middle of the night 'cause he will be up for hours! I know that many people find that unbelievable but through trial & error we have found it to be true for ds. What this means for us is that if he's getting all sleepy & wanting to fall asleep at 8 we keep him up 'cause having a 'nap' at that hour just makes for a bad night overall.


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#20 of 73 Old 03-14-2011, 07:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah well she was up at 8:30 today and had a nap at 12:30-2:30 and I tried to lay with her and nurse at 8pm...she wouldn't sleep, we were up there until 9:45 and just finally came downstairs...maybe there isn't anything I can do? maybe it's just some milestone things going on? I have no clue her vocab has been rapidly increasing lately..

 

It is hard when I feel like I can't get one min to myself though!


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#21 of 73 Old 03-14-2011, 08:11 PM
 
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I wasn't saying she wasn't over tired I was just trying to say she is very spirited no matter how much sleep she gets, of course she can be even more of a challenge when she is OT. I apologize if it sounded like I was disregarding your advice.


No I am the one who is sorry. I am having a terrible day but that is no excuse for being rude like that. So sorry.
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Yeah well she was up at 8:30 today and had a nap at 12:30-2:30 and I tried to lay with her and nurse at 8pm...she wouldn't sleep, we were up there until 9:45 and just finally came downstairs...maybe there isn't anything I can do? maybe it's just some milestone things going on? I have no clue her vocab has been rapidly increasing lately..

 

It is hard when I feel like I can't get one min to myself though!


Do you mean she fell asleep at 9:45 or you gave up? Sorry just wasn't clear on that but if she did fall asleep that is earlier than it has been no? You definitely can fix this. I have a couple ideas you might have already tried but here goes.

What is your bedtime routine like? Maybe it is too short or things could happen in a better order?

Have you tried massage?

I'm assuming she doesn't watch much tv but wanna throw it out there just in case. Too much can keep kiddie up at night.

You might want to try setting a sleeping and eating schedule. I know schedules are not for everyone but it doesn't have to be strict and you can slowly phase it out once she is going to bed earlier. Apparently eating and sleeping at the same times every day can help sleep come easier. First pick a time to wake her up every morning. Then aim for a nap about 4.5 hours later and bedtime 5 or 6 hours after wake up from nap. The walker she wakes in the morning the more likely you will get some alone time at night.

Also you might be keeping her awake. Some kids need to be alone to fall asleep. Do you think it would be possible to try soe gentle ways for this to happen. Makes sense if it is not possible at here age but thought I would throw it out there


Omg look at the novel I wrote. Sorry !

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#22 of 73 Old 03-15-2011, 07:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I gave up at 9:45! She was wide awake! She finally fell asleep at 10:45...then up at 7!

 

I want to mention (not sure if it effects anything) she is very ahead of her age group on an intellectual level.

 

We do have an unwritten type of routine. She BFs on demand.

 

Breakfast first thing when she wakes up

free play

lunch at 11:45

wash-up and brush teeth

nap at 12:30

2:30 she is usually up

snack

outside play

coloring/crafts...

reading

free play

dinner at 5/5:30

bath at 6ish

pjs

we snuggle and watch a movie....

 

Then we do a wind down - tv off. Have a snack (usually so delic. coconut yogurt). Put on the night time dipe, (as we walk up the stairs say goodnight to each person in the pics on the wall) wash up, brush teeth, read our bedtime book, turn out the lights and nurse. She will usually cuddle with DH or I after she nurses and some days just lie on top of me, until she hopefully falls asleep...

 

She nurses 7-12+x a day in 24hrs, but that doesn't bother me unless she's nursing all night long. Lately she only nurses like 2x at night and it's just one breast so I have been getting a lot more sleep.

 

I do let her watch tv but it is very limited and very choice shows. She is obsessed with Tinkerbell (but I am ok with that I think they are maybe the only appropriate Disney movies...) and we usually watch one of those once a day. She gets so excited and she really will sit down and watch the whole thing. She gets very into the story. (even laughs at the sarcastic humor)

 


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#23 of 73 Old 03-15-2011, 07:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post
But this is the schedule that works for ds & I'm not going to put my wants above his needs.


Sorry had to say something here. There wasn't anything wrong with your post if anything it was encouraging that I am not a screw up b/c DD doesn't sleep from 7pm-7am BUT this part really bothered me. I have sacrificed everything for my DD. I don't have any family or any support. It is only DH and I and he works all day. I am a SAHM b/c we can't afford daycare nor do I believe in putting her in daycare all day. We are very low income. I understand what you are saying but if there is anything I can do to at least have her in bed before DH comes home at 9:30pm so I could have even an hour to be a wife and myself...well I am going to go for it. My marriage is just as important as my DDs well-being. After all how healthy will she be if she grows up with parents who are overtired, under-sexed, and constantly tense? That won't make anyone happy.

I also grew up in a very abusive home and everyday is a struggle to break the cycle. Some days I get really overwhelmed and I feel like I just can't deal and can not wait for her to go to bed. I firmly believe in GD and I have been really sticking to that. It is an extra challenge when all you know is abuse and all you are trying to do is not make those same mistakes. I am very proud of myself for being the person and the mother and the wife that I am after going through everything I have. But yes sometimes I need a break, sometimes I am overwhelmed, and sometimes I feel like I just can't take it. I never knew just how hard and stressful motherhood can be. I have never let DD CIO, I BF and CLW, I BW, we have a family bed, do GD, and spend quality time together, can't that be good enough? Can't I have 2 mins to myself? I am trying my best and as far as I am concerned I am better than a typical mainstream mom who has there kid ferberized and FF so they don't have to deal with their child.

 

 

 

Also JamieB yes, I have tired to leave the room DD goes into a huge fit and screams bloody murder, even when it's two seconds and I run back in she will keep crying for up to an hour b/c I left her. Even with a breast offered!

 


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#24 of 73 Old 03-15-2011, 08:46 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post


 


Sorry had to say something here. There wasn't anything wrong with your post if anything it was encouraging that I am not a screw up b/c DD doesn't sleep from 7pm-7am BUT this part really bothered me. I have sacrificed everything for my DD. I don't have any family or any support. It is only DH and I and he works all day. I am a SAHM b/c we can't afford daycare nor do I believe in putting her in daycare all day. We are very low income. I understand what you are saying but if there is anything I can do to at least have her in bed before DH comes home at 9:30pm so I could have even an hour to be a wife and myself...well I am going to go for it. My marriage is just as important as my DDs well-being. After all how healthy will she be if she grows up with parents who are overtired, under-sexed, and constantly tense? That won't make anyone happy.

I also grew up in a very abusive home and everyday is a struggle to break the cycle. Some days I get really overwhelmed and I feel like I just can't deal and can not wait for her to go to bed. I firmly believe in GD and I have been really sticking to that. It is an extra challenge when all you know is abuse and all you are trying to do is not make those same mistakes. I am very proud of myself for being the person and the mother and the wife that I am after going through everything I have. But yes sometimes I need a break, sometimes I am overwhelmed, and sometimes I feel like I just can't take it. I never knew just how hard and stressful motherhood can be. I have never let DD CIO, I BF and CLW, I BW, we have a family bed, do GD, and spend quality time together, can't that be good enough? Can't I have 2 mins to myself? I am trying my best and as far as I am concerned I am better than a typical mainstream mom who has there kid ferberized and FF so they don't have to deal with their child.


I think what you are describing is a need, not a want -- and everyone's needs (not just baby's!) need to be met as much as possibly -- so please do not feel guilty for needing a couple hours to wind down at night!! I think all that poster was saying (though I can't speak for her... but I alluded to it in this thread as well) is that there is nothing wrong with a kid going to be very late as long as they are getting enough sleep (and it meets everyone's needs). It sounded like you were worried about your DD not getting enough sleep because she tends to go to bed late, but what it now sounds like, to me, is that you want to move her bedtime up for your sanity etc. which is a whole different issue really!

The one thing that I could see in your schedule that might help, is making the bath just a little later and doing the movie first. The movie could be over-stimulating her and the bath might calm her but it's too early if you are aiming for an 8pm bedtime... But remember, my DS goes to bed at 11:30pm lol, so take my advice with a grain of salt!!
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Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#25 of 73 Old 03-15-2011, 09:01 AM
 
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Another comment regarding overtiredness and figuring out how much sleep our children need: I found that my child can easily compensate a couple days with less sleep. Keeping a sleep journal for 2 weeks might be useful to try to see her needs over a longer period of time.


Mom since Oct'09. Wife to a loving husband. Expecting a little bean in May'12

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#26 of 73 Old 03-15-2011, 09:48 AM
 
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Quote:

I think what you are describing is a need, not a want -- and everyone's needs (not just baby's!) need to be met as much as possibly -- so please do not feel guilty for needing a couple hours to wind down at night!! I think all that poster was saying (though I can't speak for her... but I alluded to it in this thread as well) is that there is nothing wrong with a kid going to be very late as long as they are getting enough sleep (and it meets everyone's needs). It sounded like you were worried about your DD not getting enough sleep because she tends to go to bed late, but what it now sounds like, to me, is that you want to move her bedtime up for your sanity etc. which is a whole different issue really!
 


I agree with this.  It is hard for us, particularly when we strive to be the best parents we can be, to accept that our needs also matter. Personally, I need time at the end of the day to unwind and be a functional mom the next day, and for my own well-being.  It is a completely valid need.

 

Since I am alone with two toddlers and no help at all, it's up to me to gently shape their behavior to allow me to remain sane. This has meant creating a routine and helping to enforce boundaries about sleep time.  Giving up about 'this is bedtime' even once sets us back weeks in terms of progress. If the kids are not awake on their own by about 7am, I wake them.  I create an outing during the brightest part of the day, so they have great exposure to sunshine at that time. I try to dim lights and turn off electronics completely after about 4pm. Dinner is between 4:30 and 5 and for us is fairly light- our bigger meal is at lunch time.  

 

Naps- I've learned to move nap time to fairly early in the day, and I make sure it does not extend beyond an hour. 

 

Bathtime revs my kids up- it's  before dinner activity. 

 

TV- more than 15 minutes or so in a day means they are overstimulated and will not sleep. 

 

Pajamas go on after dinner  (with toothbrushing etc) and then- counterintuitive as it seems- we have a totally crazy silly runaround dance and play time for about 20 minutes.  At the end of that, it is bedtime.  My kids go to sleep fastest if they have been crazy active for a bit first. Then again, when my oldest can't sleep, she requests a cup of coffee, and that helps her fall asleep.  We aren't exactly typical, but we find what works. I do not have an extended read and tuck in bed routine.  we go to the bedroom, and the kids are hugged quickly and put to bed.  I close the door as I leave. Bedtime reading is a bad idea for them, it keeps them up.  It has to be crazy busy bouncy activity and straight to bed to work around here. 

 

Play with your routine and find what works for your family.  The approach you are using now would guarantee my kids were up until 10-11pm, but I'm sure it works for other people. 

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#27 of 73 Old 03-15-2011, 10:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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oooh also want to add we have no yard and no car. DH has the car for work. No buses either.

 

I wanted to be TV free but it is so hard. She has no sibling, we have no car, nothing...


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#28 of 73 Old 03-15-2011, 03:04 PM
 
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i also have a little one that has a late bedtime 9-10pm.  my dh comes home around 730-8pm.  evenings are family time for us.  our adult time is at 6am!  with both the kids awake by 7am.

 

dd1 was just the same.  i can say that as they get older it gets easier to get some time alone.


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#29 of 73 Old 03-15-2011, 03:47 PM
 
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Can you manage to get outside for a walk on a regular basis?  I know here that is muddy with the snowmelt so we are cooped up a bit, but even the fresh air in a stroller or a carrier would probably be some help for using up a little energy. 

 

When my first was little I found myself in a similar place with being very alone and very  mommed-out at times.  I hope you find something that works for you. :)

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#30 of 73 Old 03-15-2011, 04:39 PM
 
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sosurreal - I apologize if I offended you. I did NOT by any stretch intend to, what I was trying to say is that MY wants do not come before MY needs & for us the earlier bedtime is exactly that. Of course we all NEED some alone, decompression time.


Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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