Leaving 17 mo alone to sleep - not crying - Mothering Forums
Life with a Toddler > Leaving 17 mo alone to sleep - not crying
Jacqui's Avatar Jacqui 02:34 PM 03-15-2011

I think i need a little perspective from some of you ladies on the outside! My son is 17 months old and has always nursed to sleep. For the last few days he has nursed until almost asleep then woken himself up and just started climbing on me, talking, and just being silly.


My son is also a biter, he seems to think it is funny to bite me. When we are awake and he bites me i simply get up and walk away for a few minutes (go do the dishes or something else). When i am trying to put him to sleep he also likes to bite me, this is a hard one to handle. so lately nap time has been an 1 1/2 to 2 hour struggle. And he is tired....almost falls asleep a few times...and very upset if we do get back up to play.


Anyway...today after trying to put him to sleep for over an hour I finally got very frustrated when he was just climbing on top of my and biting me. I left the room for a minute and just listened at the door, he didn't cry, didn't fuss, just laid in bed rolling around for awhile. After about 10 minutes i went back in and he was laying relaxed in bed. So where do i go from here? Should I try leaving him in there to fall asleep? I want to do the right thing and i feel like maybe my presence is distracting him. Does something change around this age? All input would be great!


Marissamom's Avatar Marissamom 03:09 PM 03-15-2011

DD started not being able to fall asleep with me in the room when she was about 14 or 15 months. leaving him isn't upsetting him, it's not doing any harm. and it's keeping you from hours of frustration. go for it. just listen in case he does get upset. 

MusicianDad's Avatar MusicianDad 03:14 PM 03-15-2011

If he's not upset by you leaving, and just entertaining himself until he falls asleep, it's probably a sign that he doesn't need you there and possibly does better without you there.


Despite common belief (on this board anyway) some younger children and babies do better without nursing to sleep or having anyone in the room with them.

JudiAU's Avatar JudiAU 03:18 PM 03-15-2011

If he isn't upset then I think it is fine to leave. Perhpas read No Cry Sleep in your spare time. Maybe he is ready for a transition.

sapphire_chan's Avatar sapphire_chan 04:00 PM 03-15-2011

I'd nurse until he pops off and then leave.  See how it goes.

Jacqui's Avatar Jacqui 07:22 PM 03-15-2011

Thank you for all of your replies. I guess i just felt guilty over leaving him alone but if he's happy there isn't any harm. If i were to leave before he had a chance to nurse then i'm sure he would definitely protest so i will probably nurse him for awhile and if he doesn't fall asleep easily then i will try to slip out (going back in if he becomes upset). Feels so weird when they stop needing you every second of the day ;)

MayasMama88's Avatar MayasMama88 08:37 PM 03-15-2011

This is funny because my DD just turned 17 months, and not more than 3 days ago she started lying in bed after nursing and talking, giggling to herself, then sitting up, climbing on me, lying back down (when I told her to), etc etc. I couldn't help but laugh. The difference here is that I know if I were to get up and leave she'd scream and cry for me to come back. She doesn't bite me or anything though, and she's pretty good about getting to sleep so I don't feel the need to leave. In your case, however, it sounds like a transition to be celebrated! You DS is able to put himself to sleep without needing you in the room. I have actually wished that our DD would do this sometimes. I definitely understand that "weird" feeling of not being needed for certain things though. It's definitely bittersweet!