If I push my DS to drop his nap, will he adjust or am I just asking for trouble??? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 12 Old 05-02-2011, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone BTDT?

He has always been a horrible sleeper but with a ton of effort we've finally got him sleeping better at night. Daytime is worse than ever though. Except for occasionally falling asleep in the car, he has taken all his naps in my lap nursing. I used to be able to unlatch him sometimes but now he won't ever stay asleep unless he is latched on the entire nap. I am just DONE with that, I've had enough. Well, that might be overdue AF talking too lol (I hate nursing in the days before AF for some reason).

But anyway, the car isn't a viable daily option (not with gas over $4/gal, high spring/summer temps, and his huge unpredictability... could take minutes or hours for the car to put him to sleep!) and rarely he will fall asleep in the Ergo if we walk outside for a couple of hours but it's far from consistent & it's rainy a lot lately. He will not fall asleep with singing, rocking, lying down beside him, lying him down alone, etc. Even with nursing in my lap, he only sleeps 20-45mins (though very occasionally he'll sleep 1.5-2 hours...)

So I guess I really really really want to drop his nap. It will definitely allow us more flexibility during the day (since he's not happy at home, we could spend more time out!) and will avoid the getting-him-to-sleep frustrations. I don't know how I will get my work done (I WAH) but whatever, I'll figure it out. Will I regret this? Am I just asking for trouble? Or will we have a few tough days & then he'll adapt & be OK with it? Will he sleep an extra hour or two at night?? Haha I know you all don't have crystal balls or anything, but hoping someone who's tried it can share how it went for them....

He is also hopefully going to be starting EI services in a few weeks (not for sleep stuff but may be affecting his sleep?) so I don't know if I should hold off and see if anything they suggest helps or just drop the naps now??

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#2 of 12 Old 05-02-2011, 04:56 PM
 
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DS has always been a bad sleeper too.  He sleeps about 10 hours a night, and that did not change when he gave up his naps.  He started going to bed easier though.  I stay with him until he falls asleep and now that is only about 15 minutes.  When he napped it took an hour or more.  He is 3 now and the naps have been hit or miss for a few months.  At 2 I drove him around to get him to sleep.  I did that for almost a year, and it is too much now.  If I were you, I would try it and see how it goes.

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#3 of 12 Old 05-02-2011, 09:19 PM
 
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Two is awfully young to drop naps at all. It may or may not change his night time sleep habits. I'd probably try and build new sleep associations or have a positive quiet time in place. What happens if he doesn't nap at all?Do you cosleep? Does he have a crib or bed? Quiet time with low lights and some books might be an option. Dark room, hand holding, and singing for an hour.


 

 

 

 

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#4 of 12 Old 05-02-2011, 09:21 PM
 
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I think 2 year olds need that sleep. It's young to drop a nap.


 


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#5 of 12 Old 05-03-2011, 05:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well I do think 2yo's need the sleep but he's not getting it (or very little of it)... *sigh*

If he doesn't nap at all, he usually falls asleep late in the day for a short time, or has a meltdown an hour before bedtime. But he has those meltdowns often even when he does nap a long time so that may not be related.

We cosleep. He cannot be in another room than me for 2 minutes (even when he's awake & happy).

We have lots of quiet time built into our days and spend a ton of time reading quietly. In fact, sometimes I think he has too much quiet time. Because of his issues, he will not walk/run about outside or anything, so he doesn't always get all his energy out.

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#6 of 12 Old 05-03-2011, 07:29 AM
 
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I am firm believer that children will give up their naps when they are ready.  If he is struggling to go to sleep, I would just let him stay up and put him down to bed a little earlier.  I would NOT go to great lengths to ensure the nap stays.  DS gave up his naps entirely by age 22 mo without any pushing on our part. and it was FINE for him.  Drove his day care folks CRAZY, but they learned to deal just like we did.  It was all systems go from waking up to bedtime, happy as Larry, but he slept like a ROCK all night long.

 

He started having naps later and there were a few weeks of crazy messed up sleeping, and even now when he needs a nap he has one, but we haven't "put him down" for a nap since he was about 14 mos. 

 

At about that age he started to phase out of 10 hours at night + 2-3 hours of naps and into 14 hour sleeps.  It was really great from that angle. 

 

I think if you have to bounce, cajole, and stroke for more than 30 minutes, it's probably not time for a nap.  Just do something chilled out for a while, and then go for an earlier bed time. 

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#7 of 12 Old 05-03-2011, 01:13 PM
 
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My 26 month old has basically given up naps entirely (except for occasional walking and car naps that just happen while we're going somewhere).  Seems fine for him.  He hasn't been a consistent or regular napper since a bit before 2.


 

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#8 of 12 Old 05-03-2011, 01:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well it's 5pm and DS still hasn't napped today so maybe he is deciding for me lol.

It's good to hear some kids do OK with this.

Part of this is selfish. I've spent over 2 years fighting to get him to nap. He has never, ever gone down quickly or easily, and it's certainly not getting any easier. I'm just tired of fighting him on it -- and I don't think he enjoys it much either. wink1.gif And it's not like the naps seem to make him any calmer or happier, nor do they help him sleep better at night or anything. Most of the time he wakes up from the nap very very unhappy. It just doesn't seem worth spending 1-2 hours trying to get him to nap just so he can wake up grumpy (and/or wake up after less than 45mins)...

I'm thinking I might just let him lead the way. Continue to give him opportunities to nap, and if he falls asleep, fine, but I just don't see the point in revolving our lives around it or investing much time & effort into it. I suppose we can always work them back in if he seems to really need them after a few days nap-free.

Come to think of it, I supposedly stopped napping somewhere between 1-2yrs old myself, and I still cannot nap to this day, and he totally takes after me in every other way, so why not this too.... lol.gif

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#9 of 12 Old 05-04-2011, 02:06 PM
 
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DS has gone through a few phases in the last year of napping/not napping (he'll be three in August). I remember being so frustrated with DD, trying and trying to get her to sleep, and swore I wouldn't put myself through it again. Napping at home hasn't been happening for a long time for DS. For a while, he was falling asleep in the car on the way home from morning outings, and he'd transfer to the couch/our bed. This worked for a while, but now we go for an hour long walk in the afternoons, just after lunch, and he usually falls asleep in the stroller. If he doesn't, it's just mellow time for him. For the last month or so, he's been napping two or three days a week. He seems to need a catch up sleep every couple of days, but is otherwise okay. Every kid is different: one of my brothers napped til well after four, and my borther and I gave up naps before two. If it's not affecting his day to day activity level, he may just need less sleep.


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#10 of 12 Old 05-04-2011, 02:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hakeber View Post

I am firm believer that children will give up their naps when they are ready.  If he is struggling to go to sleep, I would just let him stay up and put him down to bed a little earlier.  I would NOT go to great lengths to ensure the nap stays. 

...

 

 

I think if you have to bounce, cajole, and stroke for more than 30 minutes, it's probably not time for a nap.  Just do something chilled out for a while, and then go for an earlier bed time. 


agree with this. Give it a try. If it doesn't work well, you can always go back to naps the next day.

I don't think 2 is too young for dropping naps. My nephew just started skipping naps at 18 months. And he's a great sleeper, he sleeps through the night since he was a baby.

 


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#11 of 12 Old 05-04-2011, 04:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Second day in a row he hasn't napped, even though I've been still trying to nurse him to sleep for an hour+ AND he's gone in the car both days at times he'd normally fall asleep if he hadn't napped yet. So I guess I was pretty in-tune to him probably not needing naps right now... Maybe it's just a phase or maybe we're done, obviously too soon to tell. He did go to bed about an hour earlier and wake up at a reasonable time... fingersx.gif Hopefully this will all work out well!! Only downside is how the heck am I going to get in 4+ hours of work a day if he's not napping???

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#12 of 12 Old 05-05-2011, 05:02 AM
 
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My ds1 was a decent napper and a horrible nighttime sleeper and ds2 is the opposite. I have never been able to get him to nap well even as a newborn. But he slept great at night! I just learned to cut my losses during the day. When we were finished nursing just before he turned 2 I lost those 20 minute midday nurse naps and he has adjusted quite fine. Falls asleep at night in minutes. I too think that some kids just don't need as much sleep as others. What works for one baby might not work for another. And forcing the issue is aweful! Goodluck carving out time for work!

 

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