Is it insane to cut out a 2yr olds nap? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 05-10-2011, 09:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Mamas, we are so at a loss at what to do about dd bedtime. She will be 2 in a few weeks and has been resisting bedtime for a while now. I know it is normal to resist bedtime, but she clearly doesn't seem tired until 9:30 or later. I nurse and sleep with her all night and I need my evenings (which have never been more than a couple hours) back. Is it developmentally wrong to cut out her nap? Will I be doing her  a disservice? Please help! Anyone else out there that has done this so young? I hope if I cut out the nap she will go to bed at a reasonable time. WDYT?

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#2 of 14 Old 05-10-2011, 10:05 PM
 
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My son is not 2yrs old, so I have no BTDT experience. But I look at my neighbors and other play-time friends that are older, kids that don't have naps.... and it just always seems like the kiddos would be happier if they slept more. I think kiddos sleep is something that we end up incorporating into our own lives, much to the demise of the kids. It becomes easier to put kids on Our schedule, than create a healthy sleep schedule for them. Really, kids need sleep. My mom was a kindergarten teacher and would comment about the kiddos that haven't had naps in Years, yet nap-time comes around that first week of "school" and ALL KIDS NAP. Even if they just 1/2 nap. Even if it's totally foreign to them. They end up napping. And they're Five.

 

I can't say what I'd do in your situation. but I just go back to that idea that 5yr olds take naps at school. If that's any indication that sleep is necessary, 2yrs old seems too early to cut out the nap.

 

You're discussion what going down at night is like.. but what are the naps like? Does she Want to nap? How does the nap-time work for you? Is it a struggle as well?


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#3 of 14 Old 05-10-2011, 10:13 PM
 
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Both of mine stopped napping at around that age on their own with no problems. Not sure how that will affect bedtime for you though; I have one great night sleeper and one not-so-great one regardless of nap status. If you're hesitant about dropping naps could you maybe wake her earlier in the morning?

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#4 of 14 Old 05-10-2011, 10:16 PM
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No it's not insane. My DDs bedtime kept getting later and later until she was awake until 1 or 2am whenever she took a nap. She needed to be awake about 8 hours before she could sleep again. With 10 hours of sleep at night and a 2 hour nap that's a 28 hour day. So we dropped her naps when she was 27 months. We had a few weeks of grumpy toddler after she was up 9 hours or so, but she fell asleep really fast at bedtime. We probably should have tried dropping them earlier. The naptime and the time she could go to sleep at night slowly got later and later over a few months.  After we dropped her naps, if she went to bed too early (after being awake less than 11 hours) she would sleep a couple of hours and be up all night.

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#5 of 14 Old 05-10-2011, 10:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JordanKX View Post

My son is not 2yrs old, so I have no BTDT experience. But I look at my neighbors and other play-time friends that are older, kids that don't have naps.... and it just always seems like the kiddos would be happier if they slept more. I think kiddos sleep is something that we end up incorporating into our own lives, much to the demise of the kids. It becomes easier to put kids on Our schedule, than create a healthy sleep schedule for them. Really, kids need sleep. My mom was a kindergarten teacher and would comment about the kiddos that haven't had naps in Years, yet nap-time comes around that first week of "school" and ALL KIDS NAP. Even if they just 1/2 nap. Even if it's totally foreign to them. They end up napping. And they're Five.

 

I can't say what I'd do in your situation. but I just go back to that idea that 5yr olds take naps at school. If that's any indication that sleep is necessary, 2yrs old seems too early to cut out the nap.

 

You're discussion what going down at night is like.. but what are the naps like? Does she Want to nap? How does the nap-time work for you? Is it a struggle as well?



The important part about sleep is total hours per day. Some kids starting kindergarten could be suddenly getting up earlier but not going to bed earlier. Most 5 year olds need about 10 hours of sleep a day, some still need 12. Research has shown that many school aged kids do not get enough sleep. The amount of sleep needed doesn't go down to 8 or 9 hours until about 10 or 11 years old.

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#6 of 14 Old 05-10-2011, 10:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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As for her naps....she can easily last until one pm which means right now she is awake at about 3pm. Sometimes its a struggle, but I usually just stay persistant until she falls asleep. She has always been a crappy napper. Like 45min naps. Now she is all of a sudden napping longer for about an hour and a half to 2 hrs. This seems to coincide with her late bedtimes. Its like she can go longer now in the am before she is ready for her nap which leads to a super late bedtime. Tonight, we finally gave her a melatonin and she went down at 10pm. I know some kids do this, but to me 10pm is way too late. My 4yr old ds has NEVER stayed up that late....a  late night for him is 8! What do you do when they can start to stay awake for longer stretches in the day but then pushes bedtime way too late???

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#7 of 14 Old 05-11-2011, 01:25 AM
 
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My daughter stopped napping at about 18 months. But more recently she's napped a few times during the day (she's now just over 2), and when she does this, she has trouble going to sleep at night. So I avoid them as it is guaranteed to affect her getting to sleep at bedtime.

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#8 of 14 Old 05-11-2011, 08:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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so maybe I can try to keep her awake if she is fine but give into her nap if she clearly needs one??? Last night was a 10pm bedtime again!! There are some days that she needs a nap and other days where I think she could be fine without one. My problem with this is the complete inconsistency of a bedtime. Don't all the experts say you should have the same bedtime everynight?

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#9 of 14 Old 05-11-2011, 11:13 AM
 
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DD stopped napping at 18 months.  She would stay up till 11 or midnight if she napped, if she didn't she would go to bed by 8pm and sleep till 8 or 9am.  So we stopped her naps.  You can always try it and see if it works for you.  DS didn't stop napping till 2 1/2, when he had the same issues as DD about staying up till midnight if he napped.  Each child is different, but yes while some children need to nap till 5 or older, some are done naps by 18 months or so, even if it is a semi-rare occurance.


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#10 of 14 Old 05-11-2011, 12:36 PM
 
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I'm here with my 2 year old daughter too. She went through a phase when she first turned two, she wouldn't go to sleep at night until at least 9:30, usually closer to 10. Same as you, she just wasn't tired. She would lay down for her nap and take over an hour to fall asleep, then want to sleep for over 2 hours and not be tired by bedtime.

 

I didn't totally do away with her nap time. I just made it... not a priority. She still lays down at the same time, if she hasn't fallen asleep within an hour, I let her get up and play. That way at least she gets some rest time in. For a long time, she was skipping the nap, but was fine with laying down for a while. So, it worked out. Now, a couple months later, she's back to needing the nap. I think she's going through a growth spurt right now and needs the extra sleep. She's going to sleep for the night between 8:30-9. Which is later than it is when she doesn't take a nap, but I gave up on trying to lay her down at her "bedtime" and just lay her down when she starts acting sleepy.


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#11 of 14 Old 05-11-2011, 01:13 PM
 
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My dd1 stopped napping on her own not long after she turned 2. I hated it because I was preggo and really needed that time to chill. For awhile she refused even a "quiet time". But finally she accepted that she had to spend some time int her bed looking at books or something or snuggling with me. now she is 4 and goes to school, but when at home on Wed (they don't ahve school here on Wed) I either have her lay with books or let her watch some dvds.

 

I think you could give it a try and see how it goes. Maybe just try a quiet time with some books then try bed at 8. If its not working out and you see she really needs her nap you can go back to that.


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#12 of 14 Old 05-11-2011, 09:24 PM
 
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I don't think it's insane, but I will be the voice from the other side saying that my daughter is 5 and still naps, as do many other 5-year-olds we know. We have gone through phases where she would not nap and phases where she protested bedtime and phases where she wanted to get up before the crack of dawn, but she's always settled back down into a regular nap and bedtime schedule after a few weeks.  Around age 2, when we switched from a crib to a toddler bed, was a particularly bad phase for bedtime -- I am dreading DS reaching the same phase.


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#13 of 14 Old 05-12-2011, 05:51 AM
 
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When my DS was around that age he went through about 2-3 wks where it was just taking him forever to settle down.   He would normally do our bathtime, then books and bottle and go to sleep, but it was crazy - he was all of a sudden staying awake for 1.5 hrs.    Thankfully, he was in a crib and would just play during that time -but I would eventually go back to his room and rub his back.     The phase passed and he magically went back to going to sleep more quickly.

 

Can you change up your bedtime routine?  Maybe start earlier vs later?    Maybe a light snack before bedtime (a banana and crackers is suppose to help them sleep...can't remember where I read that...).    Have you tried letting her sleep in a crib or PNP or toddler bed?   Could be a good time to transition since she is up anyway???

 

Personally, I would not drop the naps if she is still taking them...now, if you were struggling for 2 hrs to get a nap in, then I would drop them - but not if she is stilling taking them.  Maybe look at shortening the nap or that the nap doesn't go past a certain time of day.

 

My DS is pretty routine and we had a family party last Saturday.  I was so surprised that he stayed up past 8:30...in fact, it was closer to 10:00 when we got home and he seemed pretty alert.  Oh boy, he was over-tired and was just going because we were going...so I don't always think that kids show "sleepy" signs - sometimes you just have to go with a good bedtime whether they look sleepy or not.

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#14 of 14 Old 05-12-2011, 06:00 AM
 
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I cut DS' nap at that age and my 2.5 year old now no longer naps.  For DS the nap wasn't adding any sleep to his day.  If he napped he was just up until 10pm.  I HATE my kids being up that late.  It feels totally unnatural to me.  So we cut his nap and he went back to a normal bedtime.  He actually sleeps more hours in 24 hours if he doesn't nap b/c even an hour nap shifts his bedtime 3 hours.

 

DD can nap and still go to sleep at the same time.  So it would be nice if she still napped but she doesn't, much.


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