How to handle 2 year old yelling "no, go away!" to other kids - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 05-31-2011, 08:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DS 26 months has a large ego that emerged out of nowhere last month.  I know it's probably a "2" thing, but I'm not sure how to handle it appropriately.  While in groups of kids, he seems to have a personal space bubble that's quite big and anytime other toddlers venture too close to him and whatever toy he is playing with, he puts his arm out with hand up and yells "No, go away!"  He's also doing this to my partner quite often.  He never does it to me and I haven't seen him do it to older kids( 4 or 5 years and up).  He's become very possessive of things lately and jealous of me and tries to get all the adult attention in the room on him. 

 

Where do I begin?  I'm constantly saying "That's not nice to shout at her."  "He can play with that too." and on and on and on.  What works and what's appropriate?  I sometimes have him apologize, I sometimes separate him from the group and talk about how to be nice to others.  Is this time out worthy?  Does he need to be around kids more or less?(he is in daycare 40 hrs a week)  Is it just a phase?  Please tell me it won't last till he's 4 or 5!  He is really such a fun sweet lovable kid, but right now he isn't acting very likeable.  eyesroll.gif


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#2 of 6 Old 05-31-2011, 01:46 PM
 
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At least he's using his words? My DD goes to daycare only 18 hours a week but I've observed that the other children will often take things away from her/each other and there sometimes iisn't an adult response until someone starts screaming or crying (because they've either lost a toy or have gotten pushed/whacked for taking one). If your DS's school situation is similar it may be a very adaptive response. Maybe you could very intentionally designate specific times/activities for working on sharing/other types of responses?
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#3 of 6 Old 05-31-2011, 04:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by A-time-to-live View Post

At least he's using his words? My DD goes to daycare only 18 hours a week but I've observed that the other children will often take things away from her/each other and there sometimes iisn't an adult response until someone starts screaming or crying (because they've either lost a toy or have gotten pushed/whacked for taking one). If your DS's school situation is similar it may be a very adaptive response. Maybe you could very intentionally designate specific times/activities for working on sharing/other types of responses?


True! He's being very defensive, so maybe he has learned he needs to be that way to protect his space and the things he's playing with.  I guess it could be much worse.  It's just so utterly different than he has ever acted and it happened so suddenly.  Caught me off gaurd eyesroll.gif
 

 


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#4 of 6 Old 06-02-2011, 12:45 PM
 
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MY dd Started daycare a month ago and I noticed the past week.  If I take something of hers wether it be a book to read to her or a doll. She comes right at me saying thats mine give it back.  She told me to move  she is reading the book and pushed my arm away about 2 weeks ago.  I explained to her we don't touch other people and she hasn't done that since.  The "thats mine" she does almost everytime now.  Sunday we were at a BBQ and everytime another kid touched her. She would ask them to please not touch her.  LOL!  writing this it just hit me where that came from by me telling her she shouldn't put her hands on other people... She will be 2 this week.  I think it is daycare and part of being 2.  I just ry to encourage her to be polite and not grab or touch other people.


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#5 of 6 Old 06-02-2011, 02:12 PM
 
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What about giving him a gentler phrase to use? This worked with DS... We suggested he say something like, "I need some space please." I think he does have the right to want some personal space and it's more about finding 'socially acceptable' and gentle ways of getting that need met.

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#6 of 6 Old 06-04-2011, 08:48 AM
 
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We do things a little different than most, I guess.
They aren't allowed to be rude, but they are allowed to express a want to be left alone.
If DD would say "Go Away" our dialog would probably go like this:
Me: We speak kindly to others, do you understand
DD: Yes Ma'am
Me: You may say that you want to be play alone please
-I then would prompt her to apologize for her unkind words, and use thee proper phrase.

As far as sharing toys, we don't do that. We do take turns, or if it's a special toy we don't make them share it.
But they aren't allowed to use unkind words.
They may say things like "You can play when I'm done". "It's my turn, then yours", etc.
Special toys aren't taken anywhere, but if we have children at our house and the kids don't want to take turns, we put them up for safe keeping and the kids are usually satisfied.


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