Would you go to this wedding? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 06-21-2011, 02:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My cousin is getting married next month about 350 miles from where I live.  I like her family and her parents a lot, but we were never very close - only saw them on Christmas really.  They all came to my wedding, but it was 1/2 hour from their house.

 

A couple of other considerations besides distance are: I have a 2.5 year old (who isn't even invited to the wedding) and a nursing 4 month old who is.  I haven't had luck finding a babysitter for my toddler as all of my relatives will be at the wedding and the two families that I've asked so far for help are not available that weekend.  Also, now my parents don't even know if they can make it, so I wouldn't even have the benefit of really getting to see them.  It would just be seriously too much driving to drive to their house after or before the wedding.

 

I don't want to be rude but, is it rude to not go to a wedding so far away especially since everything seems to be working against us here?

 

Lastly, we are really working on controlling our budget lately and while this wouldn't make us go over, it would make the rest of the month REALLY tight, especially with giving a wedding gift and everything. 

 

Thoughts??  Would you go???


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#2 of 18 Old 06-21-2011, 02:39 PM
 
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nope.


Jenna, Mama to my little sprocket, born at home 5/29/2010
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#3 of 18 Old 06-21-2011, 02:40 PM
 
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I don't think I would go.  It is not at all rude to decline an invite to a wedding.  


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#4 of 18 Old 06-21-2011, 02:45 PM
 
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No, I would not go.  Pre-kids we didn't go to the wedding of some good friends of ours because it was far away and we had just both had job changes and were nervous about shelling out the $$$ for plane tickets and a hotel room.  Throw in two kids and forget it :)


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#5 of 18 Old 06-21-2011, 07:53 PM
 
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I love weddings so I always try to go.  But if we had to drive 6 hours and then our toddler was not invited I think I would decline.

 

I have a similar situation but our toddler is invited so we are going.

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#6 of 18 Old 06-21-2011, 10:50 PM
 
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when "everything is working against" you, that's a huge sign.

seriously. you've got to heed those signs in life.

don't go and don't feel bad about not going.


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#7 of 18 Old 06-21-2011, 11:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, thank you all.  I talked to hubby tonight about it and we decided to stay back.  Thank you for your help, sometimes I guess I don't feel like I know all of the social norms yet and it helps to see that you all think it is reasonable so hopefully it won't upset the family too much.  Thank you again.


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#8 of 18 Old 06-22-2011, 01:22 PM
 
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I probably wouldn't go, and remembering how much our wedding cost per person I probably wouldn't mind if people didn't come who didn't really want to be there :).  But I would send a gift:).


K, Momma to angel3.gifA(born still 8/22/00), DD A(1/31/06) and DS A(3/13/08), and Baby A (2/2/12)

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#9 of 18 Old 06-22-2011, 03:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kkrpata View Post

I probably wouldn't go, and remembering how much our wedding cost per person I probably wouldn't mind if people didn't come who didn't really want to be there :). But I would send a gift:).


Yeah that. I would not go, but I'd probably send a gift.
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#10 of 18 Old 06-23-2011, 06:02 AM
 
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never rude to decline a wedding invite. send a heartfelt note and a wedding gift (within your budget) and don't think twice about it.

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#11 of 18 Old 06-23-2011, 11:44 PM
 
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I wouldn't go.  I refuse to take babies to weddings b/c I know I wouldn't enjoy it.  If we can't find a sitter/my parents for a few hours I don't go.


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#12 of 18 Old 06-25-2011, 03:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Honey693 View Post

I wouldn't go.  I refuse to take babies to weddings b/c I know I wouldn't enjoy it.  If we can't find a sitter/my parents for a few hours I don't go.



I wouldn't mind taking a baby (small baby) but there is no way I'd take a toddler.  Nightmare-ville.  

 

OP I wouldn't go.  Too far.


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#13 of 18 Old 06-26-2011, 03:00 PM
 
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When I can't travel to a wedding, I send a really nice gift from the registry.  Not having to shell out lots of cash for plane tickets makes it easier to get an extra nice gift.

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#14 of 18 Old 06-26-2011, 03:29 PM
 
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I wouldn't go.  You probably would have a better time than you would expect ... but it's just too much, like you said.  I would send a present if possible, or at least a card.


Kids. I got two of 'em.
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#15 of 18 Old 06-28-2011, 09:16 AM
 
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We recently faced a similar situation with my cousin. He is my first cousin, but I haven't seen him in years. I thought the last time I saw him was at my wedding 6 years ago, but my Mom didn't think he came (I honestly don't remember) so it may even have been 10 years. The wedding is over an hour away and starts at 6:30pm on a Friday. My children, who are 4 and 1 (the 1 year old is still nursing), are not invited and their bedtime is 7:30pm so I don't know how we would work it anyway. We would have to get a hotel room, plus I have no one to watch my kids as my parents will be going to the wedding. 


So, no, in short, we will not be going. I love weddings, but I can't justify the expense and stress for a relative I am not even close to. We will send them a nice gift. They are both teachers and got lay off notices a month ago so I'm sure having fewer people at the wedding will be a bit of a relief to them.


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#16 of 18 Old 06-28-2011, 03:26 PM
 
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No, I would politely decline.

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#17 of 18 Old 06-28-2011, 03:35 PM
 
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If the wedding is only a month away, it would be polite to RSVP your intention not to attend ASAP. Nothing wrong with not attending, but it is rude to leave it to the last minute to let them know unless it is an emergency.

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#18 of 18 Old 06-30-2011, 09:02 PM
 
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No, I would not attend given all the circumstanced you outlined in your post.  And DO NOT feel badly about politely declining the invitation. 

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