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#121 of 169 Old 08-12-2011, 02:10 PM
 
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I wasn't trying to be a jerk...


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#122 of 169 Old 08-12-2011, 04:26 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

I wasn't trying to be a jerk...



I was just kidding. 


Nik! Mama to Evelynn Rose 08/19/08 and Autumn Lily 11/02/10
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#123 of 169 Old 08-12-2011, 04:51 PM
 
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Quality, not quantity 2whistle.gif

 

JK!!!

 

Okay, back to the OP--you remind yourself to check all of the heating grates for things that may melt when you start using the heat in the Fall (you know, plastic magnets, figures, "guys")...


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#124 of 169 Old 08-12-2011, 07:23 PM
 
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Breastfeeding is an acrobatic, Olympic event, with twists, kicks, and flips like you've never seen from your toddler.

 

Your breasts are toys like any other, and your toddler runs toy trucks over them while nursing.  love.gif


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#125 of 169 Old 08-12-2011, 10:00 PM
 
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"The orange does not need to go in the bathtub..."


lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
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#126 of 169 Old 08-13-2011, 04:43 AM
 
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On the three nights a week that your husband works out of the house you find yourself frantically trying to made additional food after dinner because WITHOUT FAIL your toddler will tell you she is done, you ask several times and tell her that you are going to eat the leftovers, she answers that she is ABSOLUTELY done, you eat the leftovers and she loses her mind because she wants more noodles.........

 

I am trying to learn my lesson on this one but on the nights DH works I don't really make formal dinners, we eat a lot of leftovers/mishmashes so usually I let J(who lives with us) and DD have what they want and then eat the rest for my dinner.

 

 


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#127 of 169 Old 08-13-2011, 01:28 PM
 
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You wake up to "Mama, want MILK, PLEASE"  (NOT whispered into your ear)

 

Your husband wakes up to "Daddy, want to HOP on pop!"  (notice, no please!  :) )

 

You never go out after 7pm.  Unless you have an emergency plan in place for the next day's napping.

 

Your heart's desire is to sleep on your stomach past 7am.  In the middle of the bed!

 

Peeing by yourself make you want to sing.  But the only song you remember is: "Max peed on the potty, Max peed on the potty, Max peed on the potty, because she's a big girl"

 

Your daughter tells you "good job, mama", when you you pee in the public restroom.

 

You've been stealing rocks from all your neighbor's lawns, for your daughter's rock collection.

 

The idea of doing just one thing at the time sounds like a vacation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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#128 of 169 Old 08-13-2011, 02:58 PM
 
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How about your DD has an INTENSE temper fit for 30 mins b/c it was time to leave the car shopping cart and go home...and you don't have a car so you had to wait out the fit in the store until you could safely put her on your back to walk 2 miles home, and every single person who walked by tried to intervene or had some comment or gesture...

 

And when a woman says to your DD "..people buying their fruits and veggies and the milkies here to feed the babies..." your DD is completely perplexed by this and starts grabbing at your breasts flipping out more b/c well who knows what she must have thought in her toddler brain..?


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#129 of 169 Old 08-13-2011, 06:08 PM
 
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When you have nursed almost every one of your child's favorite stuffed animals. Today it was a little purple monkey, Chewbacca, Lowly Worm, and Curious George. And she says "Monkey drinking yummy milk", as though this is nothing out of the ordinary. ROTFLMAO.gif


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#130 of 169 Old 08-13-2011, 06:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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All of your t-shirts (well, the three of them you wear anymore...didn't I used to have more clothes?) have stretched-out necklines since your kid grabs them to look down for snack time.

 

You feel inordinately proud of a clean toilet or a vacuumed rug.

 

You are fairly certain you have washed your hair in the past week but wouldn't put money on it.

 

You no longer feel judgmental when you see a mom with a child who is melting down in a public place.  You're just glad it's not you this time.

 

You can't imagine life without Cheerios/Oatios.

 

You can't imagine what you did with all your free time before you had a toddler.

 

You hide in the bathroom to eat a Reece Cup so you won't have to share it or deny it to a begging LO.

 

 


 sleepytime.gif I got tired of my signature, but I still love my children and husband and miss my little brotherkid.gif

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#131 of 169 Old 08-14-2011, 05:06 AM
 
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Quote:

You hide in the bathroom to eat a Reece Cup so you won't have to share it or deny it to a begging LO.

 

 



I can't do that anymore, She smells the chocolate on my breath even if I try to drink something afterward. i would have to go to the level of brushing my teeth immediately post-choco-snack.


-M-, mama to G 4/09joy.gif

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#132 of 169 Old 08-14-2011, 10:18 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caedenmomma View Post

You hide in the bathroom to eat a Reece Cup so you won't have to share it or deny it to a begging LO.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dazedstella View Post

I can't do that anymore, She smells the chocolate on my breath even if I try to drink something afterward. i would have to go to the level of brushing my teeth immediately post-choco-snack.


you used to judge parents pretty harshly when you saw them giving their toddlers sips of coke or a bite of a chip or cookie. now you realize that it's just as likely that this is the only can of pop they've allowed themselves to have in months because of the WWIII that would immediately ensue trying to sneak a bit of junk food past them. no starbucks, no victory post-grocery shopping can of root beer,  no "hmm i really have a craving for pretzels" purchases... it's organic puffed rice and water for me! 

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#133 of 169 Old 08-14-2011, 12:55 PM
 
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You explode into uncontrolled hysterical laughter every time you hear a young couple say "we got a puppy so we can have some practice before having a child."

 

Actually, I couldn't even type that without laughing. ROTFLMAO.gif


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#134 of 169 Old 08-14-2011, 06:46 PM
 
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What used to be your every-day morning routine (like, brushing your hair) is now your special occasion routine. 

 

and

 

The above mentioned special occasions are all birthday parties and trips to the zoo.


Nik! Mama to Evelynn Rose 08/19/08 and Autumn Lily 11/02/10
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#135 of 169 Old 08-15-2011, 03:20 PM
 
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You have had to clean fig newton off of your boobs because your toddler insists on snacking and nursing at the same time!


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#136 of 169 Old 08-15-2011, 07:06 PM
 
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there's a potty chair on your balcony because that's where your toddler wanted to pee


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#137 of 169 Old 08-15-2011, 07:32 PM
 
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you have a potty seat on all levels of house like in living room basement and bedroom. to avoid accidents.


Mom to K(7)M(4)and baby J(2)cold.gifhh2.gif
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#138 of 169 Old 08-16-2011, 03:54 AM
 
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..You deal with potty strikes even though you are at the point where ONE pee fills a whole dipe!

 

We always CD but I just bought a box of LUVS (Do not buy them they suck terribly and have fragrance!) and even that didn't last overnight...just woke up with pee all over my shorts from it leaking down DD's legs while cuddling with me...caffix.gif ugh...I'm going to see if I can return them we only used 4...


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#139 of 169 Old 08-16-2011, 09:37 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorpusMom View Post

Your boss offers to let you leave early because you look tired and like you need some rest and you decline because being at home with your toddler is more exhausting than being at work.



 I have SOOOOOO been there....  even if it's just an extra 1/2 hour at work to finish a quiet cup of coffee before going to the playground/pool/fingerpaint/etc.


Mom to my little Froot : (3/5/09)
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#140 of 169 Old 08-16-2011, 04:15 PM
 
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I'm a newbie here but this was hilarious and I needed a good laugh.

 

1) if your alarm clock has been replaced by a not so gentle finger poke between the eyes with the not so soothing sound of MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY..Are you up?

2) you have foresaken your water bill to let said toddler play in the sink or shower for 15 minutes of "me" time...

3)if the word no has lost all meaning in your house.

4)you just go ahead and order off the kids menu because they won't eat unless its out of your plate.

5)you have forgotten what peace and quiet sounds like...

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#141 of 169 Old 08-16-2011, 05:07 PM
 
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you know how to correctly pronouce zaboomafoo and have a preference for one of the brothers!! haha

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#142 of 169 Old 08-17-2011, 04:59 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by randomleopard View Post

you know how to correctly pronouce zaboomafoo and have a preference for one of the brothers!! haha



I just had to google that LOL


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#143 of 169 Old 08-17-2011, 05:59 AM
 
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... Elmo's piercing voice haunts your dreams.

 

... poop in the potty is a special occasion that warrants calling everyone you know to celebrate.

 

... childless people complain about how little sleep they got last night, and you laugh in their face.

 

... you call your mother "Grandma" more often than you call her "Mom"

 

... you awake at night to your spouse's plaintive cry, "where am I supposed to sleep?" and you blink at him over the heads of your sleeping offspring and whisper, "I don't care, just don't wake them up!!!" 

 

... you spend most of each phone conversation saying to the person on the other end, "Oh, no, she's fine, I don't have to hang up.  Really.  That's a happy shriek." 

 

... you can't remember the last time you had an entire conversation on the phone without your toddler a) unplugging the phone cable, b) tugging the phone away from you to "talk", c) having a temper tantrum, or d) destroying something to get your attention

 

... you know exactly what your child is doing in the next room by the sound of whatever is breaking... and you decide not to intervene because whatever she's breaking is one more thing you can declutter

 

... you summon up huge enthusiasm for any games involving looking out the window (watching cars drive past the house, counting birds on the front yard, looking for clouds) because it means you can sit still on the couch for a few minutes

 

... you plan to leave the house for a morning shopping trip and you finally get out the door at 4 pm

 

... "we don't" is one of your most frequently used phrases

 

... you actively boycott restaurant chains that do not have changing tables in their restrooms. 

 

... you send angry letters to managers of restaurants that have changing tables only in the women's restroom (ooooh, just thinking about that one makes me see red)

 

... you have embarrassed the living daylights out of your DH by sending him into the women's room to change a diaper just to prove your point

 

... you go on a 'date night' with your spouse and spend the entire time talking about funny things your toddler did that day

 

... you have resigned yourself to the fact that most of your kitchen utensils, hairbrushes, clothes, books, trinkets, furniture, and tools are now toys.

 

... your spare set of sheets has used as a 'tent' so often that your child throws a fit when you make the bed with them ("NO tent on bed, Mama!!")

 

... you have to argue with your screaming toddler every morning as you get dressed, "No, honey, these aren't your underwear.  They're Mama's.  No, really, I'm not wearing your underwear.  No, I'm not taking them off so you can wear them.  Go get your own underwear." 

 

... you sneak out of bed before your child is awake and get dressed in the bathroom in order to avoid this conversation. 


I'm traveling the world with my kids without ever leaving home and blogging about it -- watch, taste, and share our adventures at TheGlobalStayCation.com!
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#144 of 169 Old 08-17-2011, 09:47 AM
 
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-you end the majority of your phone conversations by interrupting whatever story they are telling you to hang up on them while quickly saying "gotta go, so sorry, bye".

 

-you find yourself all dressed up for mama's night out with your girls, checking on plans, standing alone on your front porch because your husband is currently putting toddler to bed and if you make your presence known you won't be going ANYWHERE.

 

-you all get dressed up for said mama's night because it's so exciting to get out of the house together without toddler, in fact, frequently you get more dressed up for mama's night than date night with DH.

 

- her bath time is your MDC time.


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#145 of 169 Old 08-17-2011, 06:45 PM
 
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These are all so great!

 

-Your day is circular conversation after circular conversation "no cook the eggs" "I have to cook the eggs, they'll make you sick raw" "no cook the eggs"..... about every aspect of the day.

-When you finally get to run errands or nap or take a bath... all alone you either feel guilty that you need to return as soon as possible or you feel bad you are wasting your "alone" time doing something so mundane.

-When you ask your toddler why he pinches/hits you all the time he looks lovingly into your eyes & says "I love you & just HAVE to" & you accept that as an acceptable answer.


Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#146 of 169 Old 08-18-2011, 02:12 AM
 
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- you sometimes forget how old you are because you don't have time anymore for your own birthdays, then realize you probably don't want to remember the number anyway

 

- you don't listen to music anymore because given the option between ten minutes of your favorite band and silence, you find the silence far more valuable

 

- your right shoulder is lower than your left because you get yanked down every ten seconds so your toddler can pick up something (inevitably nasty) they found on the ground

 

- you haven't bothered to buy furniture for your new living room yet because you now you'll never be able to sit down anyway (yes, this is totally our house right now. What's the point?) lol.gif


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#147 of 169 Old 08-18-2011, 10:46 AM
 
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Turning requests into songs DOES WORK!!  Keeps the kiddo listening and keeps mommy from freaking out!!!!  We also say goodbye to things in song (Good bye swings, good bye sand, we'll see you again some day!) lol

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandybutter View Post

* You wear swim goggles and funny hats around the house to keep the mood light

 

* You turn every request into a song (it works!)

 

* The 5 second rule of safely eating food off the flour is now 5 hrs

 

This is fun!  I'm sure I'll think of more.  Love the responses so far!



 

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#148 of 169 Old 08-19-2011, 11:33 AM
 
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1.  Your potted plants are a great source of fun for the toddler & new puppy!

2.  You just leave the bathroom door open now to save them the trouble of fiddling with the door handle.

3.  Your bed has to be a king size in order for the two- & four-year olds to climb in with you & your spouse in the middle of the nite.

4.  Having a fence around the backyard for your 'zoo' is a necessity!

5.  You can sing every word to the SpongeBob Squarepants intro.

6.  Going "out on the town" now means carseats, wipes, Happy Meals and a G-rated matinee so you're back home by 7:00 for baths & bedtime!

7.  It takes a year to read a book instead of the 3-4 days it used to take when you weren't interrupted constantly!

8.  "But Mom!" becomes your name.

9.  You get really good at putting together Lego sets, dressing tiny dolls - but forget those damn Transformers!!!

10.  You never, ever leave the house without kleenex, wipes, snacks, water bottles, crayons, coloring books, music etc...etc...

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#149 of 169 Old 08-19-2011, 11:29 PM
 
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1. You feel like you're fluent in ASL because you can carry on conversations in sign language with you 21 month old. Mind you, the convos are usually like this; "Where ball?" "Ball hiding!" "Here ball!" "Catch!"

 

2. Waiting for food in a restaurant, you'd think nothing of discussing a decorative pig collection over someone else's table, just to avoid a tantrum. (From a respectable distance of 5 feet, of course.)

 

3. You have a permanent fort in your living room to avoid having to put it up and tear it down every day.

 

4. You discuss children's shows with your partner, but put an adult spin on everything. "Muno from Yo Gabba Gabba looks like a giant dildo..." "Dora and Diego are so flippin' bossy! They're always like, "Flap your arms like a bird! FLAP! FLAAAAP!" or "I wonder if the Fresh Beat Band members ever sleep with eachother..."

 

5. If you go through a disaster once, you never go through it again. Now you haul a backpack around with a first aid kit, 2 changes of clothes, their favorite doll, wipes, a booboo buddy, their favorite music, a swim suit (or snow suit and extra warm clothes, depending on the season), books, crayons, chalk, sunscreen, nail clippers, hair bands, barrettes, a toothbrush, washcloths, extra sippy cupin case the first one gets thrown out the car window or in the river, and then some toys to fill in the empty space.

 

6. Your toddler has you trained to do a perfect rendition of almost any animal in existence, immediately upon seeing said animal. Every. single. time.

 

7. You feel the need to kiss every booboo you see. You resist the urge unless its actually your child. Most of the time.

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#150 of 169 Old 08-20-2011, 08:28 AM
 
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Yes - and most important of all - you know you are the mom of a toddler if you now have the magic powers to kiss any booboo away!

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