For fun...you know you're the parent of a toddler if... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 169 Old 07-22-2011, 04:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, mamas/parents, let's have some fun.

 

You know you're the parent of a toddler if...

1.  The only fresh fruit you've eaten this summer is the squashed leftovers from your child's tray. 

2.  Your child has been introduced to the menstrual arts since you can't use the bathroom on your own anymore.

3.  You catch yourself saying "Mommy needs a drink now" even though your child's asleep.

4.  You can discuss the contents of your child's diaper with enthusiasm and true interest.

5.  You can recite "Go, Dog.  Go!" in your sleep.

6.  "Getting dressed to go out" means changing out of your p.j.s and putting on sweats.

7.  You have an immediate kinship with other toddler parents.

8.  Taking a bath on your own seems just a little lonely.

 

ETA:

9.  7:00 a.m. is "sleeping in."

10.  Going to bed early is much, much more exciting that staying up late.

 

And we're off...

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#2 of 169 Old 07-22-2011, 05:31 PM
 
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1. You've read 14758746520 books today and none of them were longer than 10 pages...

2. You've ridden your bike around the block 10x and your toddler wants "just one more" (10 more times)

3. You play legos like all day long

4. There has already been 10 tantrums before lunch...

5. You are dying to get to Barnes & Noble to play with the trains already (your 15 min break LOL)

6. You haven't had a meal without said toddler on your lap in months...

7. You can not get her to go to bed for the life of you and milkies just no longer do the trick!

8. Naps become more of a choice than a requirement

9. You find yourself saying "No streaking in the park!" at least once a month

10. You suddenly have to kiss, hug, and nurse all the stuffed animals as well as your LO


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#3 of 169 Old 07-22-2011, 05:35 PM
 
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1) Instead of speaking about yourself in the 1st person, you refer to yourself as mommy to everyone you come across, like baristas and car mechanics.

2) You have a running dialogue of the day's events, even if you are alone, and people look at you like your crazy as you talk to yourself in a sing songy voice.

3) Running out of "wet ones" is a catastrophe.

4) You have a baby potty in your car.


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#4 of 169 Old 07-22-2011, 05:50 PM
 
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you know where EVERY public rest room is in the tri state area because "bathroom visiting" has become a new hobby during potty training.

You fight the other mom for one of the "car" grocery carts

you have a fresh pair of undies in your purse

you sing the ABC song when washing your hands ( and the toddler is not present at the time)

You FINALLY get to go someplace by yourself ( after your spouse sees the signs of mommy break down... ya know what they are ) and you realize you are listening and singing along to toddler music/dvds the whole way.

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#5 of 169 Old 07-22-2011, 05:56 PM
 
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You have to start hiding things in order to not hear the whining and begging. I'm talking about things like toys they shouldn't play with because they need help since they're too complicated, shoes that they can't put on themselves, food that is too messy to carry around. LOL....ahhhh, I am at that age yet again with # 3. And here I thought I would be a grandma next time this age rolled around, lol. It's still hard to get used to having another toddler in the house.

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#6 of 169 Old 07-22-2011, 05:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caedenmomma View Post


 

2.  Your child has been introduced to the menstrual arts since you can't use the bathroom on your own anymore.

.

4.  You can discuss the contents of your child's diaper with enthusiasm and true interest.

 

6.  "Getting dressed to go out" means changing out of your p.j.s and putting on sweats.

 

8.  Taking a bath on your own seems just a little lonely.

 


I love these 4!!! Hilarious and SO TRUE!!

 


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12 yr old
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#7 of 169 Old 07-22-2011, 07:38 PM
 
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You say things like "We don't take our clothes off at church"

 

You find crumbs in your bra from the last time your toddler nursed after a snack

 

You apologize to strangers in public restrooms who get standing ovations

 

Your child isn't the only one in the house having tantrums

 

You sleep half as many hours as your single sister and feel fine while she complains about being tired

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#8 of 169 Old 07-22-2011, 08:35 PM
 
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HAHAHHAHA! I love "You get dressed by changing out of your p.j.'s and putting on sweats" and "You say things like, 'We don't take our clothes off at church'". Those could not be more true!!!!! 

 

1) You have a tote bag that reminds you a little bit of Mary Poppins - books, training pants, fruits, nutcrackers, sunscreen, extra clothes, whatever. You name it, it's in your tiny bag.

 

2) You have long since given up on the idea of your own plate. Or your own bathroom. Or your own...... etc.

 

3) The first thing you do upon arrival anywhere is locate the bathroom and make sure it's quickly accessible for that "Mom! Potty!" moment.

 

4) You frequently repeat phrases like "Hands are not for hitting", "Night time is nap time", "Because we're a family and we love each other", etc. etc. etc.

 

5) The questions "Why" and "Why not" are burned into your brain.

 

 


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#9 of 169 Old 07-23-2011, 07:35 AM
 
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You've had to clean applesauce out of marker lids.


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#10 of 169 Old 07-23-2011, 09:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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You have eaten the applesauce out of marker lids.

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 sleepytime.gif I got tired of my signature, but I still love my children and husband and miss my little brotherkid.gif

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#11 of 169 Old 07-23-2011, 11:18 AM
 
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* You wear swim goggles and funny hats around the house to keep the mood light

 

* You turn every request into a song (it works!)

 

* The 5 second rule of safely eating food off the flour is now 5 hrs

 

This is fun!  I'm sure I'll think of more.  Love the responses so far!

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#12 of 169 Old 07-23-2011, 01:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandybutter View Post

* The 5 second rule of safely eating food off the flour is now 5 hrs
 


ROTFLMAO.gif  This is soooooooooo my house! 

 

OK, I'll play!

 

1. Your entire house becomes top-heavy from all of the child-proofing.  You swear that those top shelves are going to collapse any day from all of the weight....

 

2. You get so desperate for time to yourself--or time to cook!-- that you cave and let them play with questionable or uber-messy items (kitchen gadget drawer, anybody?)

 

3. You can name at least five different methods or recipes for lifting pee out of carpet. 

 

4. When you run errands alone, you still can't stop looking around for where the little stinker may have bolted off to....

 

5. You can't remember things you learned in college--like the 5 layers of Maslow's Hierarchy or a recitation of stanzas from the Rubbayat--but you can name at least 12 trains from Thomas the Tank Engine and sing along with the theme song. 


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#13 of 169 Old 07-23-2011, 01:50 PM
 
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OH I have a doozie for ya

 

You have been to Lowes both inside to select a paint color and buy paint brushes tape etc and the garden center for potting soil all while wearing 3 sparkly stickers on your face ( one being a star between your eyebrows)

 

yes I did wild.gif


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#14 of 169 Old 07-23-2011, 05:46 PM
 
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"Is that Poop or Peanut Butter" is a valid question when you see something on your toddlers hand, and you are not sure what Dad made for breakfast.

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#15 of 169 Old 07-23-2011, 07:05 PM
 
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Your landlord hasn't painted in years, but your walls sport lovely new original artwork and it increases daily.


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#16 of 169 Old 07-23-2011, 07:26 PM
 
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You are crouching on the floor collecting up the contents of your wallet (again) and someone "posts" a wrapped pantyliner down the back of your jeans.


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#17 of 169 Old 07-23-2011, 08:40 PM
 
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you have a favorite show on Discovery Kids.

 

You know the best hits from Yo Gabba Gabba.

 

You haven't left the house in a spotless shirt in the last year.

 

You are the milk with someone's cookies. (ouch!)

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#18 of 169 Old 07-23-2011, 09:18 PM
 
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A frequent sentence is "don't feed you (baby) brother crackers"


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#19 of 169 Old 07-24-2011, 02:29 AM
 
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lol, these are so true...I have some

 

1. You consider it a treat to use the bathroom or take a shower by yourself

2. However, when you finally get to use the bathroom or take a shower you don't enjoy it because you're paranoid that your dc will wake up from his/her nap and start screaming.

3. You are out by yourself and freak out yelling, "where's the baby" (forgetting you left him with his dad)

4. You start debating whether daycare is really that bad

5. Your kid is doing something destructive but you just let him since it will keep him busy for a few minutes

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#20 of 169 Old 07-24-2011, 05:08 AM
 
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Your husband answers the ringing house phone just as you yell "WE DON'T PUT BINKIES IN OUR VAGINA" for the third time. (Thankfully it was my parents calling.

 

You have to ask your child not to answer every question with their finger up their nose (a thinking finger perhaps?)

 

You let your toddler play on the kitchen counter so you can go on MDC and respond to a thread about being a parent of a toddler winky.gif.

 

You find yourself examining poop wondering "What made it that color today?"

 

You don't know what clothes are clean or dirty because even if you manage to fold them and put them away - HAH- they all get pulled out again, thrown on the floor and mixed up.

 

You find yourself picking up old crackers, granola bars, cookies etc off the floor and eating them too, 5 hours later.

 

 

There's more, oh yes, there's more but we are currently arguing about playing with the coffee pot so I have to go!

 

 


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#21 of 169 Old 07-24-2011, 05:48 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nan411 View Post

lol, these are so true...I have some

 

1. You consider it a treat to use the bathroom or take a shower by yourself

2. However, when you finally get to use the bathroom or take a shower you don't enjoy it because you're paranoid that your dc will wake up from his/her nap and start screaming.

3. You are out by yourself and freak out yelling, "where's the baby" (forgetting you left him with his dad)

4. You start debating whether daycare is really that bad

5. Your kid is doing something destructive but you just let him since it will keep him busy for a few minutes




Number 5 all the way! My husband will never understand that one.

 

 

You spend half the day figuring out what "Dat" is, 

You spend the other half trying to figure out if they are really hungry or thirsty, and will they really eat the "Dat" that they are pointing at.


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#22 of 169 Old 07-24-2011, 12:19 PM
 
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when you go to get your DC up from their nap and find they took their diaper off and put it on their Teddy Bear. (it was wet greensad.gif)


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#23 of 169 Old 07-24-2011, 12:22 PM
 
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You calmly respond to your child's shrieks by fastening the velcro of his hat 50 times in 20 minutes as he takes it off and puts it on and gets frustrated every.single.time. that he can't fasten it himself. (And when he leaves the room you grumble and swear under your breath.)

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#24 of 169 Old 07-24-2011, 03:31 PM
 
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Thought of another one!  You're so desperate for a "quicky" with your DP that you decide that the Master closet is actually pretty romantic...and that maybe Dora and Diego aren't so bad after all.  redface.gif

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#25 of 169 Old 07-24-2011, 04:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Turquesa View Post

Thought of another one!  You're so desperate for a "quicky" with your DP that you decide that the Master closet is actually pretty romantic...and that maybe Dora and Diego aren't so bad after all.  redface.gif



I will only say this: I owe the recurrence of my romantic life with DH to Kipper- I love that little dogorngbiggrin.gif.


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#26 of 169 Old 07-24-2011, 05:45 PM
 
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When you hate the alphabets C (Cee for Kat? Kow? Kar? Really?) or W (Double-U for Whale? Worm?). And love the alphabets X (X for X-ray) or Z (Z for Zebra).

 

When a thrill goes through your spine whenever you LO uses a new word correctly. And you didn't even teach them that.....

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#27 of 169 Old 07-24-2011, 08:21 PM
 
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1. When the house is quiet, something has gone horribly wrong.

2. Anything you are holding automatically belongs to your child, until the child has it whereupon ownership is transfered back to you. And so on.

3. Answering questions becomes completely pointless, as it only serves to bring up many many many more questions.

4. Dinner conversation is quite literally, talking about dinner. "I have peas. Daddy has peas. Mommy has peas. Mommy, you eat peas? Daddy, you eat mommy's peas? No, you eat daddy's peas! I eat my peas. DON'T EAT MY PEAS!"

5. You live in a universe where the past and the future do not exist, there is only RIGHT NOW.

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#28 of 169 Old 07-24-2011, 08:58 PM
 
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That's awesome.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBaxter View Post

OH I have a doozie for ya

 

You have been to Lowes both inside to select a paint color and buy paint brushes tape etc and the garden center for potting soil all while wearing 3 sparkly stickers on your face ( one being a star between your eyebrows)

 

yes I did wild.gif



 


DH(9/04) DS(12/08) and DD(5/11)

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#29 of 169 Old 07-24-2011, 08:58 PM
 
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Sorry....wrong post

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#30 of 169 Old 07-25-2011, 06:29 AM
 
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You announce a new house rule : "We wear pants at the dinner table"

You fish random stuff out of the toilet all day. Ie: socks, shoes, blocks, etc....

You announce another new house rule: "We don't lick the dog"

There is food in the VCR slot

Your potty training child poops in the yard like a dog and all you can think is "thank god it wasnt inside on the carpet."

You shout out "cycles!" when a motorcycle drves past your car, even when you are alone.

Everything is WE Ie: "we don't throw our food, we don't scream inside, etc" even though YOU don't do that stuff.....

You find toys in the fridge. And food in the toybox.

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